5. Chapter Five
Chapter Five
17 years old
“ I can’t believe you’re going to abandon me in just two more months,” I said sulkily to Adam. He was sitting on my desk chair, attempting to solve my Rubik’s Cube, which he’d been working on for over a month.
Over the course of the last year, Adam and I had become good friends. I was going to miss him when he left for uni, although I was happy for him that he’d got in where he’d been hoping for.
“I’ve liked it here more than I thought I would. I’ll be back over Christmas.”
“Your return over Christmas wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain dreamy step-brother now, would it?”
“Lei and I are just friends,” he replied indignantly. Likely story.
“Here. Stand up a sec,” I said, holding up my knitting against his chest to check the width. I was making him a jumper as a goodbye gift.
The front door slammed shut downstairs, followed by the voices of Coop, Axel and… fucking Lauren.
“Oh my god, quick, lick my neck!” I said to Adam. He rolled his eyes but obliged and even rubbed his stubbled cheek over my face and hair for good measure.
There was a soft knock on my bedroom door. “Hey, love. Is Adam staying for dinner?” Abbie asked.
“Please,” I mouthed at Adam. I wasn’t having dinner across from Axel and Lauren without reinforcements. Adam shrugged his acceptance.
“Yeah, Abbie. We’ll be down in a minute,” I called back.
“I’m gonna need this,” I said to Adam, wrestling him out of the hoodie he was wearing.
“Why? I’ll be cold!” he whined.
“It’s summer you big wuss, if I have to smell Lauren all over him, then he can smell you all over me,” I declared, shoving the hoodie over my t-shirt before tugging Adam down the stairs.
In the kitchen, I brushed past Axel to grab two cans of pop from the fridge. When I turned around, his nostrils flared, and he glared at Adam.
Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
“Hi, Dylan,” Lauren said sweetly as I passed a can over to Adam.
Here’s the thing, I knew I was the dickhead here because Lauren was a lovely person. In fact, if she was dating Cooper instead of Axel I’d probably have loved her and been thrilled to have her in my life. But when she came into my home smelling of my alpha, it made me want to scratch her eyeballs out like a psychopath. It didn’t help that she perfectly resembled a textbook cheerleader with her long, bright blonde hair and Hollywood smile.
“Lauren.” I nodded at her and plastered a fake smile on my face.
“Well, we have quite the full house this summer by the looks of things,” Mom said, changing the subject.
We all sat down around the large dining table as Abbie and Cooper dished out the food. Abbie had been a great addition to our family; case in point, the delicious Korean fried chicken we were having for dinner.
Abbie worked as a chef at this fusion restaurant in town and tried out all her dishes on us—no complaints from me.
“This is delicious, thanks, Abbie,” Axel said, finally finding his words.
“You’re welcome. I think it might need to be a little spicier, but it’s almost there.”
“I volunteer as chief taste tester,” Cooper said, waving his fork in the air.
Adam stayed pretty quiet through dinner, as he usually did in a big group.
“How’s your first year at uni been, Lauren? Glad to be back for the summer?” Mom asked.
“It’s been great, actually. Met loads of people, and my course is interesting. I miss this one, though,” she replied, reaching a hand over to squeeze Axel’s shoulder. He smiled down at her adoringly in response. Gag me.
“I bet you’re thrilled to have my son third-wheeling you all summer,” Mom said, winking at Lauren.
“Hey! I resent that,” Cooper interjected.
Lauren laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’m the third wheel in this scenario. I’m half expecting our den to have an add-on for Cooper.”
Everyone laughed at that like it was the funniest fucking thing in the world.
I, on the other hand, stood up and ran from the room without a word. I crouched on the ground outside the kitchen door, tugging on the roots of my hair in an attempt to distract myself from the way my eyes burned. Behind me, it sounded like Axel and Adam both got up.
“It’s fine, I’ll go. He said he didn’t feel too well earlier. Probably just feeling sick,” Adam lied.
“I’ve finished eating, you haven’t,” Axel argued.
“Babe, let Adam go check on him. Sit down,” Lauren reasoned with him, and Adam left the kitchen a moment later.
“Come on, little omega. Let’s go get some fresh air.”
I followed Adam silently out of the house, and once I’d caught up with him, he reached out and took my hand, interlacing our fingers. I was really going to miss Adam next year. He was the only person who knew the full extent of my obsession with Axel, and while he would occasionally poke fun at me, he never judged me for it.
He walked us to the field not far from my house and sat down on a bench before tugging me to sit on his lap. I sat sideways like a little kid, and he wrapped his big alpha arms around me tight.
“They… are… gonna… be… den mates… aren’t they?” I hiccuped.
“Maybe. They have been together a while,” Adam said.
“Can’t you just… lie to me… for once.”
Adam chuckled. “They’re only nineteen, and Lauren still has another two years of study. I don’t think you have to worry about them becoming den mates in the immediate future.”
I snuggled into Adam, pressing my face into his wide chest. If only I could love him instead. Not that he really saw me as anything but a friend either, but still. It would be so simple.
Adam kissed the top of my head and held me as I cried, once again, about an alpha who would never be mine. And then I cried some more because I realised I wouldn’t even have Adam next year.
I needed to get a grip.
When we returned home, we snuck up to my room as quietly as possible and curled up on my bed to watch some trashy TV.
As usual, we were only three episodes in before Adam fell asleep. There was a soft knock at the door, and I got up so whoever it was wouldn’t wake him. I’d kicked off my jeans when I got into bed, so I was only wearing Adam’s hoodie, but it almost went to my knees anyway.
I opened the door to find Axel staring down at me with a concerned look on his face.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Um. Yeah. I wasn’t feeling great, but I’m fine,” I lied.
“Is Adam still here?”
“Yeah. He’s asleep.” I nodded my head in the direction of Adam’s sleeping form on the bed.
Axel’s gaze finally seemed to take in that I was only wearing Adam’s hoodie and nothing else, his nostrils flaring before he appeared to take a few deep breaths to centre himself.
“He makes you happy, though? Treats you well?” Axel asked with a pained expression on his face.
“He’s my best friend,” I replied, which wasn’t a lie.
“Okay, good. That’s good. I better go… Lauren’s waiting for me.”
“Right. Night, Axel.”
“Night, Dyl.”
I watched as Axel turned and jogged down the stairs to his Lauren. To his future. I wondered if it would ever burn any less. If I’d ever run out of tears for that man.
One year. I had one year left in this town before I would disappear and start a new life. A life where the scent of Axel wasn’t embedded in every crevice of my existence. Where I wouldn’t have to watch him fall more and more in love with someone else as I became a smaller and smaller fraction of his world.
I returned to my bed and cuddled up to Adam, who wrapped an arm around me and held me tight. For a few moments, I let myself be comforted by a smell that wasn’t mine but was friend . And friend wasn’t a bad smell. But even Adam’s scent would be slipping through my fingers, slipping from my life in a few months.
Have you ever wallowed so much in self-pity that you actually begin to hate yourself? Because I was becoming insufferable even to me .
I needed a hobby or a distraction, at the very least. Maybe a few more friends, too.
Maybe I should dye my hair?
New hair, new me. That’s a thing, right?
Yeah. I’d go to the hairdressers tomorrow, and all my problems would be solved. There was nothing that the acrid smell of bleach couldn’t cover up.