Chapter 9 #3
“Just a lot on my mind.” I jerked out of his hold and turned towards the exit. “Let’s get this over with.”
“Rynn.” He grabbed my wrist, but when I looked down at where he was holding me, Bastian instantly let go. “I’m sorry about not telling you a story the other night. I can make it up t—”
“No need,” I told him. “We’re not friends, Bastian. We’re not even pack. You don’t owe me anything.”
He frowned but didn’t stop me when I moved away, and we exited the building together into the forest, drinking up the late afternoon sunshine. We walked in silence on the worn trail that led to the stronghold.
As pissed off as I’d been over Bastian’s wordplay and my not catching it, that felt like a distant memory.
With every step towards the Narchis stronghold, a numb anxiety seemed to settle over my bones.
I had so few good memories of this place.
Most of them, oddly enough, involved one of Samara’s mates, Kieran.
Although he’d just been her best friend who she’d secretly been in love with back then. And he’d been equally in love with her.
That managed to bring a small small smile to my lips.
I was so happy they’d finally found their way to each other.
Kieran had been a frequent guest in the Velesian realm while Samara and I had been studying at Drudonia.
As a high-ranking courtier of first House Corvinus and then Harker, he’d done his best to smooth over relations between his Houses and the Velesians, even before Samara had risen to power.
I’d lived at Drudonia while studying, but I’d still had to make frequent trips home.
Occasionally, Samara had come with me, but as Heir of House Harker and with an impending marriage to House Laurent, she had usually been busy.
When she couldn’t make it, Kieran would just so happen to be here while I was home.
I knew he’d done it at Samara’s request because she had been quick to pick up on what my life had been like here.
I’d appreciated it all the same, and Kieran had never made me feel like a burden.
Aside from Roth, I knew Kieran the best out of all Samara’s mates.
Kieran’s own family situation had been tense and complicated, so he’d understood how I’d felt and had always made me laugh.
“I wish Kier were here,” I muttered, staring unseeing at the trail ahead of us.
“Sorry for being a poor substitute,” Bastian said lightly, but there was something about his tone that had me glancing at him. His expression, what I could see anyway from his profile, was relaxed, but I could have sworn he almost sounded annoyed.
“That wasn’t a dig at you,” I said quietly before pausing and listening closely.
The forest seemed quiet around us, but I kept my voice low anyway.
“We need to show them we’re a happy pack, even though we’re not.
I hate pretending.” A bitterness I was getting used to settled into my chest. “All of you can think I'm a traitor all you want, but I will not let the sacrifices I made to join your pack go to waste.”
Bastian’s head snapped to me. “Elaborate.”
“Careful.” My lips quirked up into a small smile as I turned just enough to face him. “You almost sound like Cade with that bossy tone.”
“I’m being serious, Rynn.” In bright golden sunlight, Bastian’s pupils were barely visible vertical slits. “What exactly did you sacrifice?”
A family that loved me and saw me as something more than a political pawn. Friends who were loyal, not just hoping to get something from me when I became an Alpha. A pack that I actually belonged to. Not this bullshit.
“You’ll see,” I said instead, because for all his faults, and there were many, Bastian was a perceptive bastard.
Despite my dark thoughts, I did have friends now.
More than that. Samara and Cali were my family, but a pack was .
. . different. It was a hole they couldn’t fill, as much as they tried.
Just like Sam needed blood and Cali craved violence, I needed what all Velesians did: a connection to other Velesians.
I was beginning to accept that I’d just have to live with that part of my soul missing.
Even if I managed to bargain my way out of the Alpha pack, there would be no place for me in the Velesian realm.
My family would not allow me to return, and given that my uncle was the Narchis Alpha, none of the packs in that Order would accept me either.
The Avala Order was too closely aligned with the Alpha pack for any of them to be an option, which only left me with the Fervis Order. Alexis would accept me, but I’d never accept him.
No, my future was in the Moroi realm, which meant I would be packless, but at least it would be my own choice.
Bastian didn’t question me any further. With each step we took, he slipped into the mask he presented to the world.
That of the sly, charming Alpha practically dripping in confidence.
It was jarring because I realized he’d taken it off over the last few days.
Doing it slowly enough that I hadn’t noticed until now.
I could almost like the real Bastian. The one wearing the mask was an asshole.
My ears picked up the faint sounds of the Narchis stronghold residents. The Fae castles left behind in this part of Lunaria were larger than the ones in the Moroi realm. This was the biggest of them all, housing over two thousand Velesians within its walls.
For most Velesians, living here meant growing up surrounded by pack, family, and friends. For me, it had been a nightmare.
The trees thinned out enough for me to see the monstrosity that was the Narchis stronghold.
I didn’t know what exactly the Fae had been protecting themselves against, but the wall rose thirty feet in the air, sprawling around the enormous structure, or rather, structures.
A four-story castle rose above everything else in the center, but a dozen other buildings were spread out within the walls.
Everything was made of stone. The only wood present was what we had added over the decades.
What the Fae had against using wood, I’d never understand.
The main theory out of Drudonia was that it was easier for the Fae to manipulate stone, which was backed up by both Samara and Draven.
With their earth magic, they had an easier time moving dirt and rock than living things like trees.
Still . . . it was strange. I mean, Lunaria was full of trees. Maybe they’d pulled the stone from beneath the surface? From the shoreline? It was yet another mystery the Fae had taken to their graves with them, or taken to the shadows in the case of the Seelie.
We broke the tree line and strode towards the massive gate that led inside. Four guards were posted outside the gate, and I knew six more would be posted inside. Even during the day, Lunaria was a dangerous place.
“Welcome, Bastian,” one of the guards—Leon, I thought—said in greeting. “Alpha Altair said to expect you and to let you know your usual quarters have been arranged.” Sharp green eyes briefly glanced at me, and I noted the three faint lines running over his right eye. Yep, definitely Leon. “Rynn.”
That was it. No Lovely to see you again or Are you enjoying the northern parts of our realm? Just my name said in an indifferent tone.
“Scars healed up nicely, Leon,” I said smoothly, continuing on inside without missing a beat.
I didn’t make it more than five feet before it felt like the walls were closing in on me. It didn’t matter that the Fae had designed this place meticulously and that they’d added gardens woven between the buildings to make it feel more open. Nor did it matter that a clear blue sky was above me.
My heart started beating faster with every step. The weight of all the expectations from my youth crashed back onto my shoulders.
We need this alliance with the Alphas.
Do not fail us.
The Fervis packs are pushing in on our boundaries.
Do not fail us.
There is no one else we can offer.
Do not fail us.
Our pack is depending on you.
Do not fai—
A hand slipping into mine shut off my spiraling thoughts. Bastian didn’t say a word, just continued holding my hand as we walked through the wide pathways towards the castle where my family waited.
I didn’t trust Bastian and I didn’t really like him either despite him being mostly tolerable the last couple of days. But that didn’t stop my fingers from intertwining with his and holding on like he was the lifeline I’d been tossed while drowning in a starless sea.