Chapter 11 #3
I didn’t doubt it. While I’d seen Furies lose themselves to their rage and spiral into madness, only one had transformed into the beast they kept chained in their soul.
We didn’t know why some Furies transformed and others didn’t.
What was impressive was that Cali had done it . . . and come back from it.
The fact that she hadn’t hurt Samara or Rynn didn’t surprise me. I’d heard whispers of Calypso Rayne since the moment she’d come into her power. That she would be the death of us all when she lost it.
Not if. When.
But Velesians ran on instincts, and I’d met Cali in person at Drudonia when visiting Rynn. I was absolutely certain she would not falter . . . as long as nothing happened to her best friends. They were what kept her from slipping into darkness, I was sure of it.
“Cali would never hurt you.”
Rynn blinked. “I tell people that all the time and they look at me like I’m crazy.”
I shrugged. “Most people are fools.” One of my hands wandered to her neck, my fingers hovering over the now-healed wounds. My claws were still stained with her blood and the upper half of her body was covered in it as well.
It could have been so much worse. My throat tightened.
“I was more concerned with waking you than getting you off me,” she said gently. “But trust me, Charming, if I wanted to, I could’ve.” Rynn’s brows furrowed slightly. “Who is Reed? I couldn’t make out most of what you said, but you repeated that name several times.”
It felt like my heart stopped beating for a moment.
“Let me get you a towel to clean up,” I said roughly while rolling off the bed before she could push me for more answers I wasn’t willing to give.
It was the past, and that was where it needed to stay.
Plus, it was a vulnerability, and one did not share those with anyone unless you wanted them used against you.
My family had taught me that.
I walked into the small washroom attached to the bedroom and looked into the mirror above the wash basin.
A monster looked back. One that had my familiar green eyes, just brighter.
Unnaturally so. Like they were lit from within.
My already cut cheekbones were even more prominent, and they framed a nose that was blunt and more feline-looking.
Thanks to the oversized fangs, my mouth had widened as well.
Everything combined together made me look perfectly at home with the monsters of Lunaria. She called you beautiful, a voice whispered.
Whatever Rynn saw in me, I sure as fuck didn’t. Closing my eyes, I focused on my breathing and calming my still too fast heart rate. Another voice chimed in. One that wasn’t mine. Nor was it Rynn’s.
Just listen to my heart and the way it’s steadily and slowly beating. You are safe. You are here with me. You are safe, Bas.
I welcomed the slow burn of bone and muscle rearranging.
Usually, shifting was instantaneous and relatively painless, but this one always hurt.
After a few seconds, the pain subsided and I opened my eyes.
A sigh slipped from my lips as my normal face peered back at me from the mirror.
It was slightly paler than usual, but no more monster.
I glanced at my hands, and dull human nails had replaced the claws, although they were still stained with blood.
The sound of Rynn changing the sheets filtered into the washroom, and I quickly cleaned myself up before returning to her with a wet washcloth.
Rynn had her back to me, but I could tell by her posture that she was annoyed, probably because I’d once again dodged a personal question.
“Here.” I held out the washcloth. “Water pressure isn’t great, which you probably know. Thought a washcloth would work better . . .” And now I was rambling. What was wrong with me?
Rynn spun around, and a pair of pants hit my face. “Put some clothes on! You’re hideous,” she hissed.
I chuckled. This felt more like familiar territory. She clearly wasn’t that mad at me if my nakedness made her uncomfortable. I tossed her the washcloth, then tugged on the pants.
She wiped off her lower face and neck before looking at her shirt with a grimace. The top half was stained red.
“It’s a lost cause. You can grab one of mine.
” I pointed towards an armoire against the wall.
Even though I didn’t visit all that often, these quarters were reserved for me only.
It was always stocked with clothing and my favorite liquor and wine.
I’d thought it was a waste, but Altair had insisted it was no hardship on them.
Now I got to see Rynn in one of my shirts, so in this particular moment, I was extremely glad I hadn’t pressed the issue.
Even if it was somewhat laughable that Altair felt I expected accommodations like this when I’d spent most of my childhood sleeping on a dank, damp floor in the bottom level of our family home.
Wordlessly, Rynn walked over to the closet, tossing the damp washcloth on top of the ruined bedding. I’d need to dispose of those tomorrow before anyone saw them; otherwise, I’d have to answer a bunch of questions I had no interest in addressing.
Rynn yanked the closet door open a little rougher than necessary and pulled her shirt off, dropping it to the floor. I probably should’ve looked away, but I didn’t.
Rynn was built lean and corded with muscle.
I’d seen her naked several times, usually when she raced back to the stronghold with Ryker hot on her tail and shifted to scream at him.
Those two seriously hated each other. In those instances, I’d been too amused by the insults they’d hurled at each other to pay too much attention to her physique, but looking at her now, as the muscles rippled over her back while she grabbed a shirt . . .
When had I developed a fetish for back muscles? I frowned. Warrick. This was definitely his fault.
Desperate for a need to think of literally anything else, I opened my mouth. “It’s basically down to your knees. You can take your pants off.”
Rynn shot me a look over her shoulder. “You wish.”
I rolled my eyes. “Can we go back to bed now? I’ll deal with all that in the morning.” I waved at the pile of bloody linens.
“Fine.” Rynn stalked back to the bed and settled onto her side.
I had to bite back a laugh at how much sulking she’d sunk into her movements. It was even more amusing because I knew she didn’t mean to do it. She was just being herself and wearing her heart on her sleeve.
Or rather, my sleeve. I really did like how she looked in my shirt.
I slid under the covers and tried to get comfortable. It was rare that I slept in clothing, and I didn’t like it one bit, but I knew Rynn would say something if I took my pants off, so I did my best to deal with it. We lay there for a few uncomfortable minutes, both of us feigning sleep.
The third time she twisted under the covers, I broke.
“I don’t like to talk about personal things with anyone.
” The words leapt out of my mouth before I could think of a better way to phrase it.
A way that wasn’t so . . . straightforward.
Normally, I liked to wrap my meaning in pretty words, but instead, I’d just thrown myself out there.
“It isn’t a reflection on you or our situation,” I explained, as if that would help things when my mind was still a mess.
“The situation of you lot being trapped with me and me being trapped with you? And we’re all supposed to just make the best of it?” Rynn asked tightly.
“Yeah,” I rasped, “that one.”
Rynn rolled over onto her side to face me. “I said I was fine with how things were, and I meant it. I’ll . . .” She trailed off. “I’ll deal with it.”
Alarm bells started going off in my mind. “Deal with it how, exactly?”
“You’ll be the first to know.” She smiled at me sweetly. “But we don’t tell each other secrets, Bastian. I won’t ask about yours anymore, but don’t ask about mine.”
“Fair enough, I suppose,” I said, even as I absolutely planned on figuring out what she was up to, because Rynn wasn’t the type to just take something and accept it.
She’d fought like all the hells not to come to our pack, and now that she understood fully what her situation was . . . she would fight against that too.
She would lose. There was no winning in Lunaria, just different shades of losing, but that wouldn’t stop my dear from trying.
Still, it had been nice falling asleep with her before my nightmare.
“There might come a day when you hate me,” I said slowly.
When Rynn arched a single eyebrow at me, a small smile spread across my lips and I amended my statement.
“Hate me more than you already do.” She nodded, the corners of her mouth quirking up in amusement, and I continued, “There also might come a day when you do something that makes me wish I had finished what my nightmare started.”
Rynn’s smile turned into a frown. “You’re losing your Prince Charming title.”
“You, my dear, are being treated to a rare moment of honesty from me,” I grunted.
“Oh?” Rynn looked around.
“What are you looking for?”
“Just waiting to see if the castle is going to fall into a sinkhole or something.”
“You’re hilarious,” I rolled my eyes. “I have a proposition for you.”
Her eyes went to my lower half that was tucked under the blankets. “Not interested.”
“I think you’re at least a little interested, given that workout you gave your fingers back at the outpost.” Rynn narrowed her eyes at me, but I didn’t miss the faint blush cross her cheeks. Ha! Misshapen abs, my ass. “But that’s not actually what I’m talking about.”
“Okay,” she drawled, “so what are you propositioning?”
For a second, I almost changed my mind. This was a dangerous idea that could go wrong in so many ways.
The bet I’d made with Cade had been a bit foolish, and I’d mostly made it out of pride, but the fallout from that going sideways would be nothing compared to what would happen if I continued.
There was nothing personal about the bet. Not for me anyway.
Technically, what I was proposing would actually help me win, but that wasn’t why I was doing it.
No. I was doing this purely for selfish reasons, because I wanted to fall asleep curled around Rynn.
I wanted to experience that feeling of contentment that I’d never shared with anyone other than him, but Warrick and I had been on the outs for years now.
Despite what Cade thought, there was no fixing it.
Fuck it.
“We still have several more nights of traveling together, and perhaps we’ll do so again in the future. What if, on those nights, we share a bed and don’t put a foot of space between us?” Her eyes narrowed again, and I quickly clarified. “We’ll keep things platonic, of course.”
“Okay . . .” She chewed on her bottom lip. “To what end?”
I swallowed. “On those nights. We . . . pretend. That I’m just a traveler with a fucked-up past who wants a night of peaceful sleep.”
“And me?” she asked quietly. “What am I on those nights?”
“You . . .” I reached out to stroke her jaw. “You’re just a wolf in need of a pack. One that has your back. One that wants you with no strings attached.”
A look of pure longing flashed across her face before she crushed it. “But it would be a lie.”
“No,” I corrected her, “it would be pretend.”
When Rynn didn’t say anything, I scooted across the bed until we were touching, and I wrapped my arm over her while tucking her head underneath my chin. She went rigid for a few seconds before slowly sinking into my warmth.
“And then what?” she murmured.
I closed my eyes and breathed in her rich scent. “We dream of a world where the lie is the truth.”