Chapter 8
Sitting across from Naryah and studying her beautiful face may very well have been the highlight of my forty-two years on earth. I enjoyed the view so much that blinking annoyed me.
“Graham. Hello, Graham.”
“My bad. What’d you say?”
“You keep zoning out. Are you okay?”
“I’m great, but if I’m zoning out, blame your parents for making such a fine ass daughter.”
Every time I complimented her, she looked down and blushed, although her beautifully melanated skin tone remained the same.
“Do you dish out compliments like this all the time?”
“I’ve never been in the company of a woman whose beauty led me to do so. What were you asking me?”
“Is this your first time dining here?”
My brother recommended we go to Sea of Flames, an upscale seafood restaurant in Downtown Black Elm.
“It is. You?”
“My mother, sister, and I came here a few months after they opened. The waitlist is usually weeks out, so we haven’t been back since. You must’ve gotten lucky.”
“I don’t believe in luck when something is meant to be.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re really laying it on thick. Have you decided what you want to eat?”
Your pussy is at the top of the list, I thought but kept it to myself.
“Yeah.”
The server arrived a few minutes later and took our drink and food orders. We ordered too much for two people, but I didn’t mind having leftovers for a day or two.
“There’s something I’ve been wondering,” she said as soon as the server walked away.
“What’s that?”
“Why aren’t you married?”
I chuckled. “My mother wonders the same thing.”
“We need answers.”
“I’ve always desired marriage, and it’s definitely the end goal, but after a few failed relationships in my mid-to-late twenties, I decided to wait a while before starting something serious.”
“What happened in those relationships?”
“My career.”
“Was it too much for them to handle?”
“In most ways, yes. I had tunnel vision back then. Nothing came before my job, and the women I dated didn’t like that. On top of it being dangerous, they decided to cut their losses.”
“You weren’t willing to compromise?”
“In some aspects, I couldn’t. I was a rookie, trying to move up the ranks, and didn’t know shit about balancing career goals with a relationship.”
“That’s all understandable. I guess I can take you out of the weirdo category.”
“Damn. What did I do to get put in that category in the first place?”
“Can I be candid?”
“Please.”
“You’re fine as fuck, built like a Greek god, got a few dollars in your pocket, and you made it to your forties with no kids and baby mama drama.
Amongst us women, we would assume you're gay or a weirdo. I scratched gay off the list because you’ve been pressing me like a hot comb, so all that leaves is weirdo. ”
“Damn.”
“You already said that.”
“I know, but it’s all I can think of to say. Thank you for removing me from those categories, not that there’s anything wrong with being gay or weird.”
My attempt at pretending to be hurt only lasted a few seconds before we both broke out in laughter.
“Seriously, the way you came to that conclusion is wild,” I told her.
“Not really. I think it makes total sense.”
The server returned with our drinks and appetizer.
We continued to converse while enjoying both.
I’d said something funny, causing her to let her head fall back in laughter, and I swear I fell in love.
I had no idea if that was even possible, but if ever asked about our first date, I’d say it was when I fell in love.
For the first few minutes after our meal arrived, we ate in silence, except for a few moans from Naryah that made my dick stiffen. When she asked me if I wanted to try the Parmesan-crusted fried shrimp she’d ordered, I agreed because her moaning made it sound like the best food she’d ever had.
I didn’t expect her to feed me, so when she picked up the shrimp, leaned forward, and extended her arm across the table, I was surprised. I opened my mouth, and she slowly slid the shrimp onto my tongue. Before she could move her hand, I grabbed her wrist, and our eyes locked.
I closed my mouth over her index finger and thumb, running my tongue over and between them. Her breath hitched just before I released her, and she snatched her hand away as if it were on fire.
“That’s good, but I’m willing to bet you taste better.”
“I’m sorry if I offended you,” I said a few minutes into our drive.
After the comment I made when she let me taste the shrimp, not much else was said. I’d royally fucked up and didn’t know how I’d fix it, but I knew I had to start with an apology.
“It’s fine.”
“No, baby, it’s not fine. It rolled off my tongue before I had a chance to think about how you might take it.”
“I said it’s fine, Graham. Worse things have been said to me.”
“That’s no excuse. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed.”
“I did.”
Neither of us spoke for the remainder of the ride. She was probably thinking of how fast she could get away from me, while I beat myself up about letting my dirty mind fuck up our night. When I parked in her driveway, she didn’t wait for me to open her door, as she had earlier.
I waited for her to walk around my truck and walked her to the porch. She removed her keys from her purse and unlocked the door. I was smart enough not to follow her inside.
As soon as she stepped inside, the alarm sounded, and Que began barking. She punched in the code and called out to Que to stop his barking.
“Thank you for this. I had a great time,” she said after turning to face me.
“Thank you for agreeing to join me. I had a great time too. Enjoy the rest of your night.”
“You too.”
She closed the door, and I remained there until I heard the locks turn and the alarm set. A minute later, I was pulling into my garage, still beating myself up for my fuck up.
This wasn’t how I imagined our date ending. Of course, the savage in me wanted to end my night between her thighs, but considering she refused to acknowledge our outing as a date, I knew that was a long shot.
Since I’d taken sex off the table, I thought we might spend a few hours on her porch talking over a few glasses of wine. Instead, I was standing under a stream of cold water, trying to calm my dick down.
After my shower, I pulled on a pair of lounge pants and a T-shirt, then stopped at the front door to slip into my slides. I was headed across the street because I refused to allow my night with Naryah to end on a sour note.
I locked up my house and took long but anxious strides across the street. When I rang the doorbell, I heard Que’s footsteps before the sound of the locks turning. She opened the door dressed in an oversized T-shirt, and the thought of her being naked underneath made my dick stiffen.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Can I come in?”
“Graham, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please, baby. I don’t like the way we ended our date—”
“It wasn’t a date, remember.”
“Right, but either way, I don’t like the way it ended.”
“Fine. I was sitting out back.”
As soon as I opened the screen door, Que was on me. I spent a few minutes showing him love before locking the front door and following him to the patio. He assumed his protective position at the end of the patio on the stairs.
Naryah was seated at the end of the couch, her feet tucked underneath her, and a light blanket covering her legs. I took the liberty of sitting on the other end, hoping she didn’t mind because there were other places for me to sit, but I wanted to be close to her.
“I wasn’t offended by what you said. I was more turned on than anything.”
“Is that how you act when you’re turned on?”
She smacked her lips. “Of course not.”
“Then why the silent treatment and mood change?”
“It’s my defense mechanism. I’m trying not to fall for you.”
“I don’t mean you no harm, baby. You can let your guard down with me.”
“It may not seem like it, but I have. You’ve gotten much farther than any man since I left my ex. I haven’t even had a full conversation with another man since then.”
“I feel honored.”
“I feel afraid.”
“Of me?”
“No . . . of my feelings and how I don’t seem to have control over them anymore.”
“C’mere.”
I lifted my arm, and she moved next to me, tucking herself underneath.
“I don’t like not having control over my feelings.
When I was married, my ex would spend hours, sometimes days, saying horrible things to me, and I’d be so angry.
As soon as I worked up enough courage to leave, he’d love bomb me so bad, and I’d stay.
It was a vicious cycle. I knew I should still be angry and that he didn’t deserve my forgiveness, but I’d let the gifts, affection, and extra attention fool me.
My emotions were all over the place, and I hated it. ”
“I’m sorry you went through all that. Did your father ever beat his ass?”
“No. He walked out on us when I was thirteen.”
“Damn, baby. No wonder you don’t trust men.”
“In therapy, when I was going through my divorce, I realized it wasn’t men I didn’t trust. It’s my judgment.”
“Wow. How’d you come to that conclusion?”
“I had my father on a pedestal. I thought he was perfect and could do no wrong. When he left, he didn’t even say goodbye; he just never came home. For years, I questioned how I couldn’t see that he was a trash ass nigga. There were signs, but I ignored them.”
“You were a child.”
“I know, but in my mind, I should’ve been able to see right through him.
My first few boyfriends were walking red flags, but I didn’t see it.
After those failed relationships, I deemed myself a horrible judge of character.
Victor had to work overtime to get me to even look his way.
He laid it on thick, he was persistent, and he said all the right things, until I finally gave in. ”
“That’s a lot, and it helps me understand why you’re closed off. It means everything that you’ve been so open with me, and it gives me hope for us. There has to be a way for me to show you I’m a different breed, baby.”