Chapter 17
Ryosuke
The second we walked into a plush, cutesy little apartment, I should have turned around and left. This wasn’t the place I’d intended to end up for the day, but when both Itsuki and Yasu kicked off their shoes walking deeper into the home without telling me to get lost, it was hard to turn away.
I was an addict through and through. I craved the thrill, the feel of the forbidden. It sent shivers through my system that made my brain and body happy in ways that I couldn’t achieve in any other way.
So yeah, the night that little baggie was passed around with my band?
That had been hell. I wanted so badly to cave and give in to my old habits.
To plop not only one, but multiple of the little discs onto my tongue, going for the ride of my life.
Though that was how so many ended up dead after being sober for so long.
You think your body can handle what it used to, but it just can’t.
The next thing you know, you either end up in the hospital or a body bag.
And I was still playing music because I’d said no.
Now I was chasing another type of high. The high I could only get when it came to toying with other people for sex. Was there anything wrong with wanting to feel good? Maybe if it came at the expense of messing up the band that was finally giving me a chance.
My last chance.
Hushed voices filled the space around me, I should have been paying attention to what Itsuki and Yasu were saying, but all I could do was take in the big fluffy couch that sat in the middle of the front room and the low, polished wood table that sat in front of a TV that was bigger than anything I’d ever seen.
While Yasu’s place had been mute and minimalistic, Itsuki's was the exact opposite. Everything about his place screamed loud and eccentric. The walls were painted bright colors, and band posters covered every available surface. It spoke of his undying love for music—you wouldn’t doubt who Itsuki was if you looked at the space he lived in.
Of course, I was the only one enthralled by the space.
It was my first time there, so it was no wonder that I needed to take my time to digest everything, absorb it all.
I wanted to see what other types of bands the guitarist was into.
They all varied from other Japanese rock bands to American punk and alternative.
The number of posters could have kept me entertained for hours, like looking through an art museum.
That was until I noticed that I was all alone in the room.
Yasu and Itsuki were in another room. I followed their voices into what was the kitchen. Yasu sat at a table while Itsuki was at the stove, putting a kettle on a burner.
“I was just making some tea. Did you want some?”
His question snapped me out of my contemplative mood.
“Yes, I would love some. Thank you.” While I’d been all about picking Yasu apart in his space, I wasn’t as compelled in Itsuki’s. Maybe it was because Yasu kept so much about himself tucked away that it took more to put the pieces together.
“My only other worry is that it would destroy my furniture.”My eyes widened at Itsuki’s bizarre statement. I should have been paying attention to what he’d been talking about.
“Nani?” I blinked, and both Itsuki and Yasu started laughing.
“I told you he wasn’t listening,” Yasu said as he stood from his seat to help Itsuki pull a few cups out. He placed tea bags in them before he brought them to the table and waited for his friend to bring the boiling water over.
While I wanted to argue that he was wrong, he wasn’t. At least Itsuki didn’t look upset about it and he brought over the kettle of water, pouring the steaming liquid into our cups before returning it to the stove. “I was talking about the cat.”
I tilted my head to the side. “You were still talking about it?”
The light tinkle of Itsuki’s laughter made my stomach flutter. “We never stopped. How long were you not paying attention?”
With a loud huff, I crossed my arms over my chest as I looked between the other two men at the table. If anything, I hated it when people made fun of me, but this was my own fault. Had I not been so consumed with my surroundings instead of paying attention to my companions…
Yasu surprised me by reaching over, laying his hand on my forearm. A warm shock of lightning shot through me at the contact.
“Don’t stress about it.”
Holy shit. Was he being friendly?
It was weird as fuck considering that I’d continued to mess with him. Maybe it would be worth it to see where all of it would go. We were all in the same room without killing each other, so that was a start. More like we were all in the same room and Yasu wasn’t trying to kill me.
Semantics and all that.
It was easier said than done not to stress about it. If I were trying to impress either one of them, this wasn’t the way to do it. Itsuki giggled.
“I, uhm...” I cleared my throat, picking up my cup of tea and taking a sip of the scalding liquid.
“So the conclusion is, I probably shouldn’t get a cat,” Itsuki announced as he got up from the table, pulling a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet, pouring a healthy portion into his tea.
What was even happening here?
We’d gone from coffee, to tea, to now there being whiskey? I’d missed a memo at some point, but when that same bottle of whiskey was tipped into Yasu’s glass, I didn’t have the heart to say no when it was offered to me.
This was a mistake because the more we drank, the looser my tongue got.
Before I knew it, I was telling Yasu and Itsuki about the time I’d gotten so shit-faced with my old band that we’d nearly gotten kicked out of the venue we were playing in.
It wasn’t one of my proudest moments, and it only bolstered the image that I’d been working so hard to get rid of.
When the bottle of whiskey made its fourth trip around the table, there was no more tea.
We were all drinking it straight, telling all of our dirty little secrets.
If I had known that it would have been this easy, I would have done it ages ago.
Not only was I learning about Itsuki, but Yasu was a lot more human when he wasn’t constantly glowering at me.
“So Reiko was telling me the other day about the new costumes? They were so damn hideous at first. Toshi showed her the drawings—she told him no. There was no way that we’d ever agree to wear them.
I thank God that she’s on our side. I couldn’t imagine what sort of shit we’d end up having to wear. ..”
Itsuki laughed, picking up his cup and taking a long sip.
“You remember that one time they brought out that really long dress for me? While it was stupidly gorgeous, the practicality of performing in that thing wasn’t anywhere near feasible.
I would have been getting all that material wrapped around my legs while trying to dance on stage.
When I asked Toshi about making the skirt knee-length and leaving the train, he laughed at me. If Reiko hadn’t stepped in...”
The two of them got really quiet for a moment. I had to really wonder about Reiko. Sure, she’d seemed incredibly protective when I’d stopped by Yasu’s place the other day, but she really did a lot for the band if the stories were real.
“What costume is this?” It was stupid to ask, but without missing a beat, Itsuki was standing from the table, walking to the other room.
Like moths to a flame, both Yasu and I followed him. My mouth ran dry as he stripped his shirt over his head, exposing long expanses of creamy skin. Creamy skin that I wanted to trail my fingers down.
Itsuki’s chest was flawlessly smooth with dusky pink nipples that pebbled at the cool air of his apartment. He didn’t seem to mind that we were watching his every move as he opened a closet door, sifting through what looked like hundreds of colorful clothes.
Shirts, pants, skirts, you name it. It all went flying across the room while he looked. I stared in awe at the sheer amount of things he owned. I’d never seen someone with a closet so full before. It wasn’t a bad thing—it all screamed Itsuki, fitting his personality perfectly.
He finally emerged from the mess of ruffles and lace with a frilly dress clutched to his chest.
“For the record,” he started. “This ended up being one of my all-time favorite costumes. I had to fight the label to let me keep it.”
The second he pushed his pants off his narrow hips, my breath caught.
Yasu didn’t seem to have the same problem I did seeing the other man standing there in nothing but a pair of snug purple boxer briefs, but maybe that was the benefit of them having been friends for so long.
Then again, I’d had the same issue with Hatchi until I’d realized just how much of an asshole he was.
It was like my dick had trouble getting hard for him after that.
Part of me wanted to shove the vocalist out of the way when he moved behind Itsuki to help him zip up the dress. While the pink highlights were meant for our new album, they still fit the old style.
After the dress was secured, Itsuki disappeared back into the closet, grabbing a thick petticoat and dragging it up his legs to fluff out the skirt. He moved over to the vanity in the corner of the room, picking up a hairbrush and started styling his hair into pigtails at the sides of his head.
When he headed to his closet again, Yasu grabbed him by the waist, causing him to fall into a fit of laughter.
My face heated as I watched the two of them because it was becoming more than a little apparent that maybe I didn’t belong stepping in between whatever was happening with them.
But I also wanted to be a part of it. To feel connected to the easy way they touched and communicated.
They were so sweet and innocent, but there I was trying to corrupt them with everything I’d dragged along with me.