Chapter 20
Ryosuke
It had been three fucking days.
Things had been more strained than ever, and I knew it was partly my fault. It was hard not to give in when Itsuki had batted those adorable eyelashes of his and the way that Yasu had bent to my words? A shudder raced through my body at the memory.
But that created another problem, because our vocalist could tell I was distracted. Again.
“Pull your head out of your ass, Ryosuke. We need to focus so we’re prepared for this show in a few days.”
He’d been even more of a monster since the whole thing.
Just when I thought things were getting better, we’d catapulted us back in time.
We were so far into history I might as well have been with my old band.
Yasu was behaving in a way that reminded me of Hatchi.
It made my stomach roll and want to get sick because I’d worked to get out of that.
Had earned my spot with this new band and now…
“Fuck you,” I sighed as I readjusted the guitar strap on my shoulder.
A low growl escaped his throat as Yasu picked back up the mic from the stand. “No, thank you.”
A collective groan filled the room. It made me wonder if the rest of the band was just as fed up as I was.
One look in Itsuki’s direction, I saw the poor guitarist was on the verge of tears. Sure, he’d started the whole thing at his apartment, but we’d let him do it. At no point had anyone said no or to stop. We were all just as guilty in this. I refused to let him take the fall for all of it.
Instead of picking up with the song, I took my bass off, crossed the room, grabbed Itsuki’s hand, and led him from the room.
He followed without much fight. I couldn’t tell if it was a good thing or not.
We’d only known each other for a couple of weeks, but I’d gotten so used to his happy spark that this wasn’t like him at all.
The second the door clicked shut behind us, a stray tear trailed down Itsuki’s cheek. He hurried to wipe it away with the oversized sleeve of his hoodie.
“Hey now,” I cooed, wrapping my arms around him, pulling him into my chest.
His body shook with sobs. I wasn’t used to this. Being the one to comfort someone who was so obviously distraught. But maybe that’s what you signed on for when you pursued someone in such a way.
It hadn’t been my intention to go after any kind of relationship. I’d fully intended to keep my nose down, but there was something about both Itsuki and Yasu.
With Itsuki, he was so welcoming and warm.
I’d never had someone be so open with me right from the beginning before.
There was that little voice in my head that told me it was dangerous to taint him with my wrongness.
That he deserved better than me. He deserved someone like Yasu, who protected him.
And then there was Yasu. Yeah, it’d started out as trying to mess with him because I’d never seen someone get so hostile like that. But he was extremely protective of his friends, and his loyalty to them is what kept drawing me back. I wanted to earn that same loyalty.
The door swung open a moment later. Yasu entered the hall, spotting me holding his crying friend. He didn’t relax. If anything, his shoulders bunched higher up to his ears as he marched closer to us.
Itsuki let out a squeak when Yasu grabbed his shoulder, pulling him from my grasp.
“What the fuck did you do to him?” he asked, wrapping his arms around the other man in much the same way I had. Yeah, he was a protective motherfucker, alright.
While it would have been easy for Itsuki to tell Yasu that I hadn’t done anything, he only sobbed harder, and I hated that he was upset about any of this.
“I didn’t do shit. He was upset. I brought him out here to make sure he was okay.” I answered, motioning to the two of them.
Yasu shushed Itsuki as he threaded his fingers through his fine hair.
I wanted to be the person who was still comforting him, but while Yasu was around, I knew that wasn’t an option, but my arms still itched to wrap around both of them because it was better than nothing.
It was still showing that I was there. But maybe I was doing that simply by being present.
Itsuki let out another sniffle before he buried his face deeper into Yasu’s chest. A muffled sound emerged from him. Maybe he was trying to say something, but it was hard to tell.
“What was that?” Yasu asked, pushing his fingers through Itsuki’s hair again, gripping it just slightly and angling his head back.
The sight shouldn’t have done anything for me, but my body was an asshole.
All I could picture was grabbing Itsuki’s hair in a much more demanding way. It made my cock twitch.
Calm the fuck down, Ryosuke.
“Stop fighting,” Itsuki hiccuped. He pulled away from Yasu, then wiping more wetness from his face.
His eyes were puffy, red-rimmed, and I had to fight back the urge to take over with the comforting.
“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have done any of that.
It’s made everything so,” he took a deep, shaky breath, “awkward since then.”
Yasu looked over at me for the first time since the apartment. He didn’t look like he was on the verge of murdering me.
“How is it all your fault?” I asked, making both of them look at me.
Itsuki bit his bottom lip, eyes swelling with tears again. “Because I started it. I dragged you guys there and—”
“And no one said no, or to stop,” I reminded him. “We’re all in this together. If anyone is to take responsibility for what happened, then we are all to blame. Don’t take that on yourself.”
Another tear escaped, and I didn’t care that Yasu’s arms were still loosely around Itsuki.
I leaned in, placing a kiss against the tear before it could slide all the way down his face.
Itsuki’s cheek was warm under my lips and his tears were salty.
In a perfect world, I’d never see this man cry again. He was much too precious and gentle.