24. Hard To Focus
HARD TO FOCUS
D aphne rolled over the next morning, her eyes landing on Abe’s naked chest, the sheets around his waist. No wonder why she was so cold. She couldn’t tug them up to cover her with him pinning them lower.
Rather than wake Abe, she slid out of bed quietly and made her way to the bathroom in the hall to brush her teeth.
She could have used the half bath for that but didn’t want to wake him.
When she got to the kitchen, she noticed it was barely six and would let him sleep. She’d bet he didn’t sleep much. She hadn’t for years, which was why it was hard for her to do it now.
Not even on the weekend when she would be off.
Though she wasn’t off today since Poppy and Reese were going to Daisy’s wedding.
She opened the fridge and pulled out milk and eggs, then got bread and cinnamon and decided to make French toast.
She was being as quiet as she could and it must have worked because she never heard a sound from her bedroom.
She loaded two plates up with breakfast and tiptoed into her room. Abe was still sleeping and almost snoring at this point.
Staring at him would only make the food get cold, but she set it down and went back to get the coffee. She knew he drank it black, he’d told her that, and it was easier for him to have it in a travel mug in the morning.
When she walked back to her room, Abe was sitting up in bed, his hair a mess, and yawning.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she said.
“Then you shouldn’t have brought food in,” he said with a lopsided smirk. “It’s hard to sleep with that smell. Damn. No one has ever brought me breakfast in bed.”
“I’ve never done it before either,” she said. “Here’s some coffee.”
He reached for it and took a sip. “Thanks. How come you did it now? And what time is it?” He reached for his phone and saw the time. “Why aren’t you still sleeping?”
“Because I woke up cold and saw that you had the sheets pinned down by your hips,” she said.
Good thing she’d put a T-shirt on before bed. She was covered somewhat.
“You could have nudged me to get them,” he said.
She shrugged. “I’m not used to sleeping with someone. It was fine. Once I’m up I can’t go back to sleep. And I was hungry. Eat up. Or we can go sit at the island. I think I had this image in my head about this but now I’m worried about the mess on my sheets.”
“We’ll go eat in the kitchen,” he said. “It’s a great thought, but I’ve never eaten anything in bed before. At least food.” He was wiggling his eyebrows.
“Phew,” she said. The heat filled her face, but she was going to ignore his comment. “Me neither. It sounded better than it was executed.”
He set his coffee down and threw the covers back. “Looks executed pretty well to me.”
He was in his underwear but grabbed his shorts on the chair and pulled them up. Her eyes stayed on his bare chest.
When he reached for his coffee and walked toward the door, she asked, “Are you going to put a shirt on?”
“Why?” he asked, smirking. “Does the sight of my nakedness turn you on?”
Her eyes traveled the full length of him from his messed up brown hair, dark eyes, facial hair, over his chest, and a sprinkling of hair there, down past his shorts and to his large bare feet.
“As a matter of fact it does,” she said.
“Just like I am looking at your legs now. I think we’ve got a problem between us.”
“What problem is that?”
“That it’s hard to focus when the other is half naked.”
“Might be your problem,” she said. “I focused enough to make breakfast and I’m going to eat it before it’s cold.”
She turned on her heel, grabbed one plate, and left her room with him following.
She was putting up a big front and knew it.
She acted like a slut with Abe last night and didn’t know what came over her.
As if she wasn’t self-conscious enough over their one-night stand, she might have got him thinking that she’d been lying all along about never having done it before.
What woman acted like she did in bed last night?
She’d never done it before.
“Why are you so quiet?” Abe asked five minutes later. They’d been sitting at the island eating their breakfast.
She shrugged. “No reason.”
She put her head back down to continue eating, but when she looked up he was still staring at her.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why?” she asked, frowning.
“Because you’re acting all skittish again. Does this have to do with never having an overnight guest? I’m assuming you’ve spent the night with people before, just at their place.”
“I have,” she said. “It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” he asked. He did take a bite of food at least.
She put her head down and said softly, “The way I acted last night.”
“You mean the way you made me feel as if I was the sexiest man in the world?” he asked. “What’s so wrong with that? I’d like to bottle whatever came over you last night and sneak it into your dinner every night.”
She snapped her head up. “Huh?”
Her face was on fire. “Are you embarrassed over that?” he asked.
He looked about as confused as she felt. “Yes.”
“Why?” he asked. “It was hot. Like the Big Bang hot. And damn, did we bang.”
She stared at him for a second and then burst out laughing. “You make a joke out of everything.”
“I wasn’t trying to. Just being honest,” he said. He reached his hand over and laid it on hers. “I did like the way you acted. It turned me on. It might have even scared me for a bit, but only in a good way.”
She was starting to relax. “How did it scare you?”
“No man likes to think they can’t keep up or control their body. It was really touch and go there for a bit.”
She snorted. “I’d already finished once. It was fine.”
“No,” he said. “It wasn’t. And you got yourself there a second time. If you hadn’t, I would have...once I caught my breath. We might need to keep a can of oxygen here though.”
She swatted at his arm. “Will you stop it?”
“I’m being serious,” he said. “You worked me hard.”
“You did the same to me,” she said.
“It was a nice workout,” he said. “And a great night. Don’t worry about anything. I can see it on your face. What has you concerned?”
There was no way out of this and she didn’t want to lie. “I don’t want you to think I’m loose.”
He laughed, but she didn’t think it was funny. “Fine,” he said. “I don’t think you’re loose in the least, but if you want to be with me, I’m good with it.”
“Really?” she asked. “Tell me I’m making more out of this.”
He stood and reached his hand out for her. She went into his arms. “You’re making way more out of this. I loved it. I really did. Any guy who says otherwise is only lying to you and I don’t make a habit of lying to anyone.”
She let herself be held and nodded her head. “I hate feeling so unsure of myself. I’ve spent so much of my life like this and I came here and thought it would all change and it’s not.”
She wouldn’t bring up the fact that she’d had men judge her before for not being more active in bed. Then when she was, they’d comment on that in a negative light too.
It always felt as if she did something wrong and she didn’t want that to happen with Abe.
“Your life is changing,” he said. “But you’ve got to accept that maybe it’s not the way you thought it would be. That doesn’t mean it’s bad or good, just different.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m getting there. A lot of it is because of you.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “Good,” he said. “Keep working on it.”
She believed him over any other man in her life that she’d been intimate with and that meant trying to be herself, since he seemed to like that person.
And hours later when he’d left for the day, she made her way to the main house to watch the kids. Abe had left after breakfast and said he had a lot of things to do but they’d talk later.
She knew they couldn’t or wouldn’t spend all their free time together. She didn’t want a relationship like that.
But she was going to miss him.
“Have fun last night?” Poppy asked, wiggling her eyebrows when she came into the kitchen. Daphne had texted to say she was on the way.
“I did,” she said. “Abe spent the night. I hope that was okay.”
“Yes,” Poppy said. “It’s fine. I told both of you that. But I saw his truck leaving this morning.” Poppy moved closer. “You looked like you were walking funny. Bet it was a good night, huh?”
She smiled. “It was a great night.”
“Good for you, Daphne. We are going to get you to open up some before the year is out.”
“I already am,” she said. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Poppy asked.
“For being understanding. And nice. Really for being a nice person. I think it’s sad to say this, but I’m not sure how many truly nice people I’ve been around in my life.”
Between annoyed or frustrated parents at the daycare and waiting on people at night whose food wasn’t just right. It seemed she never went a day where someone wasn’t yelling or berating her for something.
Then she’d go home and hear it from her mother.
It wasn’t until that moment she realized what a verbal beating she took in her life and it was no wonder she was so unsure of her actions.
What a pathetic thought for her age.
Poppy moved over to hug her. “Honey, I’ve been in your shoes. I know what it’s like on a different level. I’ve never wanted anyone to feel that way.”
“I don’t,” she said. “Not from people around here. That is just priceless.”
And about damn time.
As Abe said, her life was changing, good and bad. Right now, she couldn’t think of one bad thing.