41. Brought It All Back
brOUGHT IT ALL BACK
“ Y ou look a little worse for wear,” Poppy said the next morning. “Rough night?”
“A little,” Daphne said.
“Not rough in the way a woman might like,” Poppy said, smirking.
“No,” she said quietly. “Are the kids sleeping?”
“Holly still is,” Poppy said. “Reese is changing Tatum.”
“It’s going to be beautiful out today,” she said. “Holly will love being outside. I thought we could paint some of the pieces Reese has made for her. He gave us spare blocks too and we can do all sorts of things. I won’t let her in until she’s cleaned up.”
“I’m not worried about that,” Poppy said. “I’m more worried about you. You look sad when you never have before. Not even when you were worried about your job, which I found silly but then remembered what it was like to not know what each day might bring in my life too.”
She sighed. Daphne didn’t need a reminder that Abe had spoken for her with her bosses either.
“Then you know what it’s like to have that be the first thing to pop into your head,” she said. “I was annoyed that Abe mentioned it to Reese, but he and I talked it out.”
“Good,” Poppy said. “I figured as much. But something else had to have happened. I’m a pro at sussing those things out.”
“Poppy,” Reese said. “Don’t bother Daphne.”
“It’s fine,” she said. “Hi, little man.” Tatum was kicking his feet and reaching for her over his mother.
“I’d be annoyed if I wasn’t so pleased with how excited he was to see you all the time. It’s wonderful knowing our children are so well cared for.”
“Thank you,” she said. “You know I love them as if they were my own.”
“I’m going to the barn,” Reese said. “You know where I am if you need anything.”
Reese kissed Poppy and left.
“You never bug him for anything. I don’t know why he always feels the need to say that,” Poppy said. “But men like to feel needed.”
She snorted. “I’ve learned that,” she said sarcastically.
“Are you going to make me beg to find out what is going on?” Poppy asked. “I only want to help. I thought you and Abe were doing so well together. I still firmly believe you’re perfect for each other.”
“I thought so too,” she said. “But maybe he is still thinking of someone else.”
“Ella?” Poppy asked.
“You know about her?” she asked. Jesus, was everyone keeping things from her?
“I knew they dated on and off over a few years. I never thought much would come about it. It’s a small area. I’m not sure why he even gave her another chance.”
“Two chances,” she said. “He told me two chances.”
“So you’ve talked about her,” Poppy said.
“Yes. He told me about her a few months ago. What he didn’t tell me was that she’s talked to him three times since we’ve been together. Well, two times, the third was her calling him while I was there last night.”
“I need to sit down for this,” Poppy said. “To conserve my energy so I can hate him and give him shit when I see him next.”
“Please don’t,” she said. “I don’t want him to know we are talking about this. I’m not sure why I’m telling you either.”
“Because you need a girl to talk to. If you told Raine she might feel as if she had to tell Aster and the last thing you want to do is have your brother find out. Right?”
“Exactly,” she said. “But I’m used to dealing with all of this on my own.”
“No one says you have to anymore,” Poppy said. “I know people think I can’t keep a secret, but I won’t say anything. I can give him the evil eye if you want me to.”
“Thanks for that,” she said, laughing. “I’m probably overreacting.”
“Tell me about it and I’ll let you know if you are or not. Trust me, I’m the queen of overreacting. Ask my sisters or husband.”
She had heard that about Poppy before.
She explained about the two times Abe saw Ella and what was said. Or what little was said. Even the phone call last night.
“Am I nuts?”
“Nope,” Poppy said. “You’re not. I would be ticked too if it was Reese and he didn’t say he was with me. Even if it came off as petty or not, just put it out there. He told you about Ella, why couldn’t he tell Ella about you?”
“Exactly,” she said, sniffling. She looked down at Tatum and gave him a little tickle on the belly knowing that would make her laugh and it did.
He was kicking his feet and squirming around. Like a jumping bean ready to take off. He might give her more fits than Holly when he got in motion.
“What did he have to say about it other than he didn’t want to talk to her at all and walked away?”
“Not much,” she said.
“I feel like there is more,” Poppy said. “I’d be mad, but you’re not mad. You’re sad. Something else causes that.”
Poppy got up and took Tatum from her, put him in his seat, and gave him a toy, then moved back and ran her hand on Daphne’s arm.
She didn’t want Poppy to know about the one-night stand, but if there was anyone that might understand what she was going through it was the woman in front of her.
“I’m such an idiot. I did something so stupid. I always do stuff like this in my life. Make a bad decision and then have to live with the consequences.”
“Honey, not only am I the queen of overreacting, but I’m also the queen of bad decisions and living with consequences. I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“It was to me at the time. And then I forgot about it and didn’t feel bad about myself anymore, but last night brought it all back.”
Poppy pulled her in for a hug. “It can’t be that bad.”
“Not to most people. I had a one-night stand. With Abe. Before I knew who he was.”
Poppy reared back fast, her jaw dropped. “Nooooo. You did?”
“You think horribly of me, don’t you?” she asked. Just great. She shouldn’t have admitted this to her boss.
“God, no,” Poppy said, grinning. “I’m so proud to know you can cut loose like that. I mean, you ended up with Abe anyway. I need to know this. It’s part of why you’re sad. Tell me.”
“I’ve come this far,” she said. “No reason to stop now.”
“That’s right,” Poppy said, almost bouncing in excitement for the information. “Tell me the rest.”
She explained to Poppy how she ended up in the casino. The flirting on both their parts. Then when she left in the middle of the night.
How she’d heard his name but didn’t know who he was, he did the same, then he saw her here.
“See how crazy that is? And it took a lot of work on his part for me to get past my embarrassment over it all.”
“It’s fate,” Poppy said. “I don’t care what you say. It is. But I still don’t understand where the sadness is coming from. People fight and then they make up. Making up is part of the fun.”
“He told me the other time he ran into Ella was right before we met in the casino. Then he mentioned that every time he saw her, it reminded him of what a failure he was. I put it together he went there to get her out of his mind and that I could have been used for that.”
“Oh honey, what did he say when you told him that?”
“He said no. It wasn’t like that. He was lonely like I was and it just happened,” she said. She moved over to tickle Tatum again. She needed a baby smile to help her along.
“Do you believe that?” Poppy asked.
“I do. I mean I believe he was there because he was lonely. I was too. I hadn’t planned on sleeping with anyone.
He said he didn’t either. It just happened.
But I feel like it only happened with him because he was thinking of her.
Like this woman is going to be what I think of in our relationship now.
Or what he thinks of. How do you get past that? ”
“First by not thinking it,” Poppy said. “Which is easier said than done. My mind would go where yours is too. But I’m going to play devil’s advocate here.
He wouldn’t have been there that night if he wasn’t thinking of her.
It’s not that he was thinking of her because he wanted her back.
Right? He didn’t say that, did he? I get the impression it’s the last thing he wants. ”
“No, I don’t think he does. I never thought it really. I kind of think it was her loss.”
“That’s right. And your gain. So going on that assumption, you should be thanking her.
If he hadn’t run into her and she hadn’t smirked at him to rub his face in it, he wouldn’t have felt the need to go out and be around people that night.
He wouldn’t have sat next to you and you wouldn’t have started to flirt.
You should thank her for being a bitch and turning Abe away from her. ”
“I should, but it’s not that easy. I just hated myself for doing that. I accepted it because he made it seem as if he felt the same way I did that night. He made it better, but then it all seemed to get wiped out by that fact last night.”
“Don’t assume that,” Poppy said. “Learn from mistakes I’ve made in my life and in my relationship. Don’t assume anything. Talk to him about it. Deep down Abe is a great guy. But even great guys make mistakes. Let him own up to it and fix it if he has to.”
“I guess,” she said. “I’m just really hurt.”
“And you have every right to be. But so does he in his own right.”
“That’s good advice,” she said. “Thank you. I feel so much better.”
“I’m glad,” Poppy said. “I’m going to head in now, but I’ll be home early. Tell Abe to come to dinner and talk it out. You both need to.”
“I will,” she said.
And hours later when he showed up, she noticed that he’d gone home and showered first. She had lasagna on the stovetop resting. Though the weather was still nice enough to be outside, Abe wasn’t working as long or as late.
“Hi,” he said. “I wasn’t sure when I’d hear from you again.”
“I’m not someone to be mad or even be mad long.”
“I think you need to be,” he said. “I messed up. One thing I’ve learned in life is that you have to get it all out or it just keeps coming back. I don’t want that to happen.”
“Like with Ella?” she asked.
He walked in, sat on the couch, and then patted the seat next to him. She sat down. She wanted to lean into him but didn’t just yet.
“Yes,” he said. “With Ella. We’d fight and split, but we never really addressed the root of our problems. It took me a long time to realize that her problems with me couldn’t be overcome. I told her that the last time and she agreed with it.”
“But now that your business is getting bigger she was willing to overlook things?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I have no idea what goes through her mind. I never did before either. I wanted something with her to just have it. I didn’t like the dating games going on around me.
I wanted to settle down and have a life like I had growing up.
She said she wanted the same, but she didn’t want it with me.
I stopped loving her a long time ago. When I met you it made me realize what I felt for her wasn’t that strong. ”
“So you don’t look at me or what we have and have it tie back to something negative with her?”
“No,” he said, his face scrunched up. “Don’t tell me you’re doing that. There is no reason for it.”
“I was doing that,” she admitted. “It was hard not to. I just hated myself for our first time together. It took me a long time to move past it and then to think you only did it as a way of mental revenge on her just brought it all to the surface for me again.”
“My mind doesn’t think that way,” he said. “It really doesn’t. I went there because I was lonely and feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t want to sit at home. I sat down at the slots and next thing I know you’re flirting with me.”
“You flirted back,” she said.
“I did. And I don’t regret one minute of it.
Ever. I’m just sorry that I didn’t have the balls to be honest with you and tell you that I saw Ella those other two times.
But it’s the truth. She makes me feel like shit and I don’t want to be around her.
The way I was on the phone with her is how I was the last two times we talked. ”
Which was damn cold.
“Guess she didn’t get the hint,” she said.
“No clue one way or another,” he said. “I only care about you and us and if I can make it up to you. I’m sorry if I hurt you. Seeing you mad was a bit scary, but I’m glad to know you can get there and aren’t afraid to show me.”
“I’m not,” she said. “I told you before I don’t get mad often.”
“Neither do I. It’s the one thing we have in common. But thinking of Ella always pisses me off. It’s not worth it to get worked up. I’m not letting her win in the end because she managed to make me feel like shit.”
“It’s a good attitude to have. One I think I need to adopt more of.”
“We just need to talk to each other more,” he said. “We know I love to talk.”
“That’s right,” she said. “Make sure you do it about the right things though. Not always trying to be funny.”
“I’ll try,” he said. “If you stop beating yourself up over everything too. There is so much in your life that you blame yourself for or worry about. Just stop. You don’t need to do that.”
“Not anymore,” she said. “I promise, I’ll try. And if I drop the ball, you’ll pick it up and give it to me, right?”
“Not the ball I like to give you, but sure. I’ll give you that one too.”
She slapped his arm playfully. “Don’t change who you are, Abe. For anyone.”
“I’d change for you,” he said. “But I’m glad I don’t have to.”