CHAPTER FOUR
GAbrIEL
I stopped in the employee’s bathroom of the Healing Winds Chiropractic and Orthopedic Center to freshen up a bit.
I ran my fingers through my hair, setting the locks as I liked and swished some mouthwash from a travel sized bottle.
I turned my head side to side, spotting thin lines intersecting my face.
Hell, I was probably seeing things that weren’t there.
Just wait until I was fifty, then I’d have things to worry about.
Although my father looked good for his age so maybe genetics were on my side.
Not wanting to dwell on that thought, I adjusted the collar of my shirt, leaving the top two buttons open. Satisfied, I grabbed my jacket and laptop bag then left the clinic for lunch.
The walk to Marco’s Fresh Market was brisk, the October air getting deep into my lungs.
I’d mulled over my thoughts about the previous day all morning and decided to go for it.
I wasn’t unaware of the young man that had attempted to start a conversation.
He’d been watching me for months. Sometimes I caught him staring and he seemed like he wanted to introduce himself.
I was surprised he hadn’t already, and I was unsure why.
It occurred to me he might be waiting for me to make the first move.
Though I was often busy with work, I needed to put myself out there if I were going to find someone for more than a blowjob.
The whole thing was a victim of the wait-and-see-what-happens mentality of my youth.
I breezed into the market and immediately set my sights on him.
He was standing near the salad bar with a platter of cheese in his hands, looking bored and miserable.
He was cute with blond hair scattered around his face like a halo and he was young, but I was willing to look past age.
Heck, I could be immature at times. Besides, I was digging the whole Troye Sivan impression he had going on.
Taking a deep breath, I made my way toward the salad bar.
He noticed me, his cheeks coloring, and he attempted to hand out samples with renewed enthusiasm as if he’d gotten caught daydreaming about me.
Yeah, he was crushing on me hard. I remembered what it was like to be infatuated with someone that you stumbled over your words and your own feet.
“You didn’t save any for me?” I asked as I looked at the empty tray.
“Uh, I didn’t expect you…”
“Are you sure about that?”
Wide, blue eyes stared at me, and his lips moved like a fish. They looked incredibly soft, the kind you could kiss for hours. His chest expanded as if he were having trouble breathing.
“It’s just that you watch me every day. You know what I like to have for lunch and were sure to remind me that you are out of sunflower seeds. I can’t help thinking you are expecting me.”
I’d thrown the guy off his axis. His cheeks turned the color of summer strawberries, and his eyeballs were ready to pop out of their sockets. “I… uh… You get to know your regulars?”
“Is that a question or a statement?” I was enjoying unnerving him, but figured I’d startled him enough. I dropped my gaze down to the name tag on his white shirt. “I’m Gabriel,” I said.
His lips moved as if he were whispering my name to himself. He cleared his throat, a shy smile creasing his cheeks. “Jake.”
“I know,” I muttered, doing a once over on him. He was slight of frame, but I was sure I could find a few muscles under that simple uniform.
“Right.” He looked at his name tag. “I’ll just make a fool of myself again today.”
“You left so quickly yesterday I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself,” I said.
“Oh, uh…” He looked around as if he were searching for help. “I meant what I said. I didn’t want to keep you from your lunch.”
“Maybe I wanted to be kept?” He didn’t know what to say to that, just blushed harder. It was adorable. “I know you’ve been watching me. I’ve been waiting for you to make contact.”
He seemed utterly confused. “I…didn’t know.”
Conceding the point, I shifted my weight on my feet. “I can understand that and didn’t exactly make it obvious. I guess I’m unfamiliar with the ins and outs of actual dating. You know, the kind outside the bedroom? Or a dark corner in the alley?”
“Wait. What?” He said, looking awestruck. “What exactly is happening here because I’m totally confused.”
I chuckled. “I’m asking you out, silly. I’m not exactly smooth, I know but would you like to have dinner with me, Jake?”
I didn’t think it was possible for his jaw to open wider without dislodging. Realization set in and he beamed widely, his cheeks plumping as he tried to hide his smile between his teeth. He was a shy one and it was damned adorable. “You’re serious?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. After yesterday–The argument with your…wife?”
I couldn’t help it. I burst out in laughter, drawing several gazes. “Bev isn’t my wife, she’s my sister.”
“Oh.” Jake’s countenance slowly shifted from befuddlement to realization. The nerves seemed to melt away and he looked me in the eye for a brief moment. “Y-yes. Okay. I’d like to…have dinner with you.”
It was my turn to beam. “Perfect. What time are you off tonight? Assuming tonight works for you.”
“Four. By the time I clock out and get my stuff, make it four-fifteen. Unless I grab some groceries then maybe closer to four-thirty, but not much past four—I don’t plan on grabbing anything today.”
“Breathe.”
“I’m sorry! I babble when I’m nervous. Obviously…I’m nervous.” He laughed uneasily and dragged his hand through his hair.
“Four-thirty then. I’ll meet you outside.”
“Yes! Okay, that sounds good.”
I skimmed my eyes all over him and let him see it. I wanted him to know that I was highly interested. “See you soon.”
I reluctantly peeled myself away from him. We didn’t stop trading glances as I put my salad together. He grinned shyly every time our eyes met, and I was surprised by how much I was looking forward to having dinner with him.
It had been a long time since I’d been on an actual date.
Three years to be exact. The last time I’d seen a man beyond the bedroom—or bathhouse—had ended abruptly when he had moved back to Arizona to take care of his ailing mother.
Before him there was Sean, my best friend and I wondered if we would still be together had I not needed public sex.
We might have gotten married, bought a house, adopted a few fur-babies. No sense dwelling on maybes, however.
I figured things hadn’t changed much in the dating world.
The mating dance was still the same. Some drinks and dinner followed by conversation to see if we were compatible and if I were lucky, sexy times.
It was a simple formula. The hard part was incorporating my brand of sex into a meaningful relationship, something I wasn’t particularly good at.
I could flirt, and seduce, and I liked to think I was a damned good cuddler.
But for some, like me, certain proclivities were needs, not wants.
I enjoyed my salad in the corner and diddled on my laptop, reading the latest post on a medical blog.
Jake was busy working, handing out samples and being cute while doing it.
He was a good-looking guy. Truth be told, I had been a bit shocked he’d agreed to go out with me but that was my insecurity talking.
I wanted a partner, one I could grow old and enjoy life with so there was the concern that we might not want the same things.
For now, I was going to see where our dinner date took us.
As my lunch hour came to a close, I discarded my garbage and packed up my laptop.
I’d wanted to reaffirm our appointment, but Jake was nowhere to be seen.
I took my time walking back to the clinic, mulling over where to take my date.
There was a nice Vietnamese restaurant within walking distance of Marco’s Fresh Market.
Being younger, he might prefer something more hip, however.
Either way, I wanted to show him a nice time and make a good impression.
My father was standing at the receptionist’s desk, talking to Linda about a client’s appointment when I arrived. As soon as he noticed me, he inquired, “Have you talked to Beverly today?”
“Not since yesterday. She didn’t call you back?” I asked, the agitation in my voice obvious.
My sister was a child in an adult’s body. She was selfish and arrogant and ignorant of anyone but herself. The mention of her name renewed my aggravation.
Dad snorted like a horse through his bushy white mustache and came around the desk. “No. She promised she would. Our last appointment for the day was rescheduled so we will be out of here early. We’re going to track her down. This is ridiculous. She promised.”
I fidgeted and chose my next words carefully. “I think we both know where she is.”
Dad didn’t like that one bit, his creased face deepening. He shook his head and blew out a breath. “I don’t understand it. How can you two be so different, so opposite? You were supposed to be the troublesome one.”
“What? Innocent me? Whatever did I do to deserve that reputation?”
A moment of light entered my father’s brown eyes. “You gave your mother hell in her belly. Always kicking and making things difficult then deciding you wanted to come so early that we thought there might be a problem. Bev and your brother came when they were supposed to and were quiet babies.”
I shrugged. “I guess I had something to scream about.”
“In any case, we should stop by and make sure she’s okay.”
The thing with Dad was that he never gave up on his family. No matter how many times Bev promised she would stop drinking, doing drugs, and going back to her abusive ex; no matter how many times Mom told him to let her go, he never did. It was his biggest flaw, but it was a damned good one to have.
I scratched the back of my head, not wanting to miss my date just to track down Bev high on the floor of her on-again-off-again asshole’s basement. “I kind of made plans.”
“I’m sorry, but it won’t take long. You know how that son of a bitch is. Every time she crawls out of the hole he dug for her, he pulls her back in.”
Regret pierced me for a moment, and I wondered if the hard words I’d had with her yesterday might have contributed to her spiral.
That feeling quickly abated as I reminded myself I was not responsible for an addict’s decisions.
I was sure nothing would get her out of that black pit.
Not her loving parents and brothers nor the daughter she’d abandoned.
Amelia had turned six recently and had been raised by the family, her mother skipping her responsibilities whenever she could.
Blowing out a breath of frustration, I turned on my feet and headed toward the exit.
For Amelia. I’d cancel my date for my niece.
“Where are you going?” Dad prompted.
“To cancel my date.” And because I was an idiot, I didn’t get a phone number. Luckily, the walk was relatively short.
“Wait. Hold it, young man,” Dad said in that deep, no-nonsense tone. “What date?”
“Young man? That’s a good one,” I teased. “It’s fine. It was a spur of the moment thing, and I can reschedule.”
Dad grabbed me by the crook of my arm and dragged me to a quiet corner. “You’re serious? The dinner and a movie kind of date?”
“Are there other kinds?” I inquired, feeling oddly amused.
I had a great relationship with my father. We were alike in a lot of ways, our sense of humor running on the same wavelength. It was no wonder Dad was the first I’d come out to in a time when being gay was rarely accepted.
“Only the ones I can’t speak about around here,” he said quietly.
“Dad!” I laughed.
The old man blushed. “I was young once.”
“Yeah, so was I.”
“Oh, stop it. You’re in the prime of your life.” He shook his head and looked at me as if he were considering something. “You go on that date. I can check up on your sister myself.”
“No, it’s fine—”
“Don’t talk back to me,” he said, entirely serious. “You deserve to have time to yourself without worrying about Bev as much as I do. It’s not your responsibility.”
“She’s my sister,” I countered. Despite her bullshit, I loved her and worried about her constantly.
“And she’s my daughter. You’re my son and I’m telling you to go on that date.” He adjusted his tie as if he’d just confirmed he was the boss. Which, technically, he was.
“Fine. But you will call me if you need help. Promise?”
Dad nodded and I returned to my office. My next appointment was due to arrive soon.
Despite the nonchalance I showed toward my sister’s whereabouts, I did worry about her.
I’d done so much worrying these past few years that I just didn’t have any more room for it.
If Bev weren’t going to change for Amelia, she never would.
I’d accepted it. Mom had accepted it, but my father refused to.
But that was what I loved most about him–he never gave up on his family.
I recalled something he’d said when I was a boy. I couldn’t remember the circumstances for prompting the conversation, but his words were as clear now as they had been back then.
When you love someone, you fight for them. No matter what.