CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JAKE
I parted the car window and got a big breath of fresh, chilled air. Most of the trees had shed their leaves, but a few still held on, the splashes of oranges and browns painting a nice picture against the rolling land of barren crop fields.
For the first time in forever, I didn’t mind the cold.
I tried to imagine the fields and trees covered in fresh snow.
Perhaps I disliked winter so much because I’d had the perspective of cold concrete buildings and dirty street slush all my life.
Now that I had someone to keep me warm, the cold didn’t seem as bleak.
Funny how one person can change your perspective.
I rolled my head against the headrest and looked at Gabriel.
He was gorgeous today in a gray wool sweater and plain khakis.
His hair had been sculpted and he was freshly shaved.
He smelled great too. How I’d landed this sexy, sweet man eluded me.
My luck was not that good. I supposed I was still waiting to wake up.
It was as if he’d walked out of a dream, perfectly tailored to my desire.
He noticed me staring at him and offered me a smile. “Almost there.”
“Could you ever live on a farm?” I asked.
“Hm… Maybe. Probably. I mean, you’d have access to all the fresh tomatoes you could ever want. But then there is the maintenance. I’d just pay someone to do it for me, I suppose. Yeah, I could see myself living on a farm.”
“I think if I won the lottery, I’d buy a farm.
I’d invest in greenhouses and vertical farming so that it would grow organic produce year-round to feed the needy.
I’d also want an animal sanctuary. Dogs.
Cats. Maybe some horses. I never had any pets when I was a kid except a little house mouse that I snuck crumbs to.
They got caught in a glue trap a few months later and I had a funeral for them. ”
I kept it to myself that the reason I’d never dared keep a dog or cat was because my mother’s boyfriends were the abusive sort, and I didn’t want my pets to suffer.
He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it. “What about chickens?”
“Well, of course. Fresh eggs and all.” I gasped.
“We could have an orchard too. Apples or peaches.” I realized I’d implied doing the farm thing together.
Was I really making plans for our future?
Not that having a farm was a realistic prospect, but…
“In grade school, before… We went on a field trip to a farm. We got to see baby chickens hatch. It was the neatest thing.”
I wasn’t sure why I was so chatty. Normally, I preferred to keep my thoughts hidden.
“Yeah, I did something like that too. I always liked petting and feeding the goats,” he said. “If we have a farm, goats are not optional.”
Grinning, I returned my attention to the window and fantasized about waking up in his arms. We’d have breakfast, get dressed, and feed our animals all before the sun rose for the day.
It was a nice dream. Certainly not as exciting as traveling the world, but I’d always preferred the quiet life.
As long as I had the few people I cared about, I’d be happy.
He pulled us into a gravel parking lot and found a spot. He took my hand and kissed the knuckles again, the sensation of his warm lips on my skin sending a zinger through me. It was little things like that that made me all warm and fuzzy inside.
He smiled brightly. “Let's have some fun.”
Rejuvenated, I teased, “You better hope they don’t have any games here, because I’ll kick your butt again.”
He leaned in, his eyes hooding. “It’s so hot when you do.”
A flush crept up my neck as he exited the car. He was right. I best not provoke the horndog-monster. I couldn’t say no much longer; I didn’t want to.
The walk to the fairground’s entrance was a distance away, hundreds of cars filling the gravel field.
I took a big breath, smelling old hay, sugar and flour, and faint notes of manure.
It wasn’t a bad smell, just one I wasn’t used to.
The bleating of a goat sounded in the distance and excitement rose.
I very much enjoyed going places and seeing things I hadn’t before.
Gabriel being with me made it all the more fun.
His fingers brushed against mine as if he were asking permission.
I obliged, linking our hands. His grip was firm, strong, letting me know I could depend on him.
As we neared the entrance, the crowd thickened.
A sense of nervous pride filled me, and I held on to him tighter.
I knew he’d take care of me if my anxiety flared.
The festival ended up taking place at a pumpkin farm. The giant sign read “Pumpkin Adventure.” Excitement raced through me. I’d never been to a pumpkin farm but had always wanted to go.
“You brought me to a pumpkin farm?” I muttered. He outdid himself every time.
“We took my niece here for Halloween one year,” he said as we got in line. “She loved it. I’ve never been to the fall festival, though. I thought it would be cool to check it out together. Their apple cider is to die for.”
“I love it already,” I said and beamed up at a left-over Halloween decoration of a ghost, white tendrils of cloth blowing in the wind.
I almost told him that I hadn’t gotten to do many kid-things when I was young, so this meant a lot to me.
I wanted to let him in badly, but how did I say the words?
How did you tell someone that you liked–loved?
–about all the bad things that had happened to you?
That my mother had looked the other way when her new boyfriend smacked me around a little too roughly?
That I lived in constant fear I might not eat because my mother was in some dirty place getting high?
Was it even possible to put such things into words?
“Hey, you okay?” He prompted, tugging my hand gently.
I smiled at him. “Yeah. I’m just really happy to be here.”
“Let’s get in there, then.” I watched as he paid for our tickets, wishing I could contribute something, but he didn’t seem to mind.
When we were through the entrance, he took my hand again, as if he were proud to be with me.
I fell against him, needing his support.
All the people made me nervous, and the last time I’d attended any sort of festival, it hadn’t ended well.
We got a cup of hot apple cider first and found a quiet corner to drink it.
The place was fairly packed, but Gabriel ended up on a haystack with me on his lap. I was thankful to be thin.
“You are right,” I said with a hum. “This is delicious. And perfect for a chilly day like today.”
He pulled me closer. “Are you cold?”
“A little.” I rested my head against his shoulder and let the warmth of the cup seep into my fingers. “But I have you.”
He purred. “Yes, you do.”
“Am I squishing you?” I asked, but stayed right where I was.
He cuddled me closer. “No.”
We finished our cider, the warm liquid settling well in my belly and the heat chased away the chill. “I hear goats. Is there a petting zoo?”
“Yeah, there is one on the grounds somewhere.”
I gasped. “We have to go.”
We found the petting zoo. It was a large tent with several different animals inside.
We fed slices of carrots to a variety of goats, sheep, llamas, and various breeds of cattle.
It was interesting seeing all the different species.
The festival did end up having several games and I beat him at every one, much to his delight.
As I handed him a fuzzy pink teddy bear, he said, “One day, just you wait. One day I will win a game against you.”
“I don’t know. I’m pretty far ahead percentage wise,” I teased as he accepted the bear. “I doubt you will be able to catch up.”
“I just have to find a game I can turn to my advantage.”
I gaped at him. “You’re just going to openly admit to trying to cheat?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“You are terrible.”
As the afternoon turned into evening and the sun started to sink into the west, we found a bench under a giant tent. A country-blues band was playing, and the patio lights overhead filled the place with pure joy.
He left me in a corner, under a heat lamp to get us some food.
As I waited for him to return, I cuddled the teddy bear close and watched the people dancing in the center.
I’d always felt like I was on the outside of society, looking in with longing like some lonely, desperate monster that was misunderstood.
I wished I could be more like the people dancing in front of the band, laughing, and moving to the music.
But I wasn’t. Still, I enjoyed watching the normal people having fun and rested my head on top of the cuddly bear.
“I’ve lost my mind!” Gabriel shouted over the noise and sat next to me. His hands were loaded with boxes. “I’m going to regret this.”
As he opened the container, a variety of pastries was revealed–apple pie, pecan pie, apple tarts, pumpkin pie, and apple-cider donuts. The only healthy thing he’d chosen was a bottle of chilled water.
I beamed at him. “More to cuddle.”
His cheeks rose in a smile. “Hopefully not too much more.”
We ate our treats together, sampling and tasting the selection.
From my limited perspective, they were all delicious, the apple-cider donuts my favorite.
They were light and fluffy and not overly sweet.
When we had our fill, we combined the boxes into one.
As I gulped down the water, a sense of rightness settled within me.
The band had taken a break, and the cut of the music made it easier to talk.
I seized the opportunity. “Thank you for bringing me here. I didn’t get to do a lot of stuff like this when I was a kid. My…mother was never really interested in me. And I never knew my father. So…thank you.”
He pulled me close, and I snuggled against him, digging my fingers into his sweater. I must look like a scared child to everyone, holding onto him for comfort, but I was glad he was willing to be my rock.
He kissed the top of my head and said, “I’m glad you had fun. Anything you want to do, and we will do it, okay?”
The band started up again. They played a slow song with an amazing violin piece.
I focused on a man and woman dancing. It was obvious they were in love.
They were so close, I thought they might meld into each other, and the deep expressions on their faces as they locked eyes contained the kind of energy that echoed across the universe.
Despite my terrible upbringing and lack of familial love, I believed love existed.
But it was a rare thing, something only a few got to experience.
These people had clearly found it. I glanced at Gabriel.
His lashes were low as he stared ahead, and I wondered if he were watching the couple too. Was he thinking the same as I was?
The music turned to something more upbeat, and time wound on as we just sat under the tent, watching, and cuddling. I wondered if he wanted to dance. If he did, he didn’t ask, and I was both relieved and sad that he didn’t. Maybe one day I might find the courage to dance with him.
“Warm enough?” He inquired, skimming his thumb across my shoulder.
“Yes,” I said, and cuddled closer anyway, burying my nose in his sweater.
I inhaled his cologne, the spiciness soaking into my lungs.
It reminded me of sandalwood charred and dipped in something spicy.
It smelled so good on him, enhancing his natural scent.
I wasn’t sure why, but I dipped my hand under his sweater and stroked the hot and soft skin of his stomach.
I glanced up at him. His attention was on the crowd, but his lips were curled into a devilish smile, letting me know that he approved.
Time slowed down allowing me to enjoy the atmosphere and being with him. It was pitch black outside the tent, but the festival was still going. I yawned so widely, my jaw cracked.
“Yeah, I’m getting tired too. Ready to start heading out?” He asked.
We made our way toward the exit and stopped at the gift stop where he bought matching T-shirts emblazoned with the farm’s logo for us.
We left the fair, his arm around my shoulders, mine around his waist as if we’d been together for a long time.
Sometimes it felt like we had, as if he’d just stepped out of my dreams and into reality.
“Well, I had loads of fun. That was the most sugar I’ve had in years, and this is coming from someone who spends a lot of time with a little girl who likes to bake cookies.”
I bit my lip at the tease forming in my brain. Dare I go there? “Maybe I can help you burn off some calories?”
He snickered, the sound wolfish. “I like that idea.”
The jab hung in the air as we approached his car. I wasn’t sure who moved first, but I ended up against the vehicle, his body caging me in. I’d always found eye contact difficult, but I couldn’t look away from his perfect, handsome face, and his plump, soft as silk lips I’d only known briefly.
“Is there something you want?” he purred.
I nodded and licked my lips, my heart hammering, my body more alive than it had been in a long time.
Wanted was an understatement. I needed him and everything he was offering.
Something invisible pushed me into his arms, our lips meeting.
The contact was shocking, and I sighed against his mouth.
He flicked his tongue across my lips in a silent demand to open for him.
I obeyed, letting everything that he was into me.