Chapter 2 - Kalla
Kalla
II
I stared down my stubborn fury leader, working hard to keep my fangs hidden. The last thing Thorn needed was to take my anger as evidence of some childish temper tantrum.
“If someone is fighting in our territory, we should have eyes farther out,” I said. “Finding the fighters is great, but we need to know why they’re here in the first place.”
Thorn’s grey eyes closed for the merest heartbeat, the only sign of her frustration.
She leaned back in her purple-upholstered armchair and stretched her arms along the wooden armrests.
The crocheted blanket draped over the back was worn and ragged, but she refused to replace it.
The chair was the closest thing she’d accept to a throne, sitting on a level with several other wooden chairs arranged beside it.
“The farther we are from the mountain, the greater the risk that we’re seen.
You know this, Kalla. Besides, you’ve never led a scouting mission.
With the danger this high, I wouldn’t send an untrained leader into the unknown. ”
I bit back my retort. I was far from untrained. I’d been scouting since I was a child, volunteering for as many missions as I could. I’d peppered my mission leaders with so many questions many of them had requested I not be assigned to them.
Thorn knew that. As the leader of the Gloaming Fury, a vampiric community seventy-five members strong, there was little she didn’t know about the goings-on of her people.
She was constantly assessing our strengths and weaknesses, shuffling people around based on where they’d best serve the fury.
Everything to keep us safe. With vampires outlawed in Golthwaine and the Gloaming Fury only somewhat protected under the isolated, dragon-claimed Doldemy Peaks, secrecy was everything.
Which was why I knew that having strangers fighting in our territory was no small threat.
If there was any possibility they might learn of our existence, we needed to deal with the survivors and clean up the mess.
But we also needed to understand the bigger picture, and if it came with a chance of me travelling beyond the limits that had caged me for the past fifty years, I wanted to take it on.
“I know you feel trapped,” Thorn said, her ancient eyes filled with understanding but showing no sign of giving in.
“I’ve seen it for years. Your desire to roam and see what else is out there.
” The line of her jaw hardened. “The answer is nothing, child. Only death. The humans want to eradicate us from this earth, and the shifters would claim this territory in a heartbeat if they could. And what’s to the east?
The fae? Bunch of tricksters who would sooner stamp us out than help us.
” The same warnings I’d heard all my life, every time I’d taken any opportunity of stepping outside the boundaries of our small, contained world.
“The fury has to come first, Kalla. If we don’t follow that one simple rule, we might as well doom ourselves to oblivion. ”
“I know,” I mumbled. And I did. But I wasn’t asking to invite the enemy into our midst. I just wanted… more.
Thorn canted her head to look me over, then nodded across the large stone cavern we called home, towards the crevice that led outside. “You still have that secret hideaway out there?”
I didn’t have it in me to be surprised that she knew about my and Cliff’s cave farther along the mountain range. “Yes.”
“Go. Take a few days to clear your mind and sort out your priorities. When you return, we’ll discuss your scouting schedule.”
She stood and made to walk away, then stopped and set her hand on my shoulder.
My muscles tensed beneath her palm. “Despite how you feel, our lives aren’t as small as you think they are.
From the moment you were old enough to scout, the only skill you’ve focused on developing is hunting, but there’s more to life than death, child. ”
She walked away, leaving me reeling behind her. Something other than hunting? I had lots of interests other than hunting. I had—
At a loss, I scanned my home, certain I would find something.
The space the fury had carved for itself under the mountain was large enough that although more than half the community was currently browsing the market set up in the middle of the cavern, I stood alone.
Candles dangled from the ceiling to light the room, and swaths of colourful fabric were strung between the stalls, providing brightness and life that countered the stretches of grey rock.
Our lives were contained, but they were safe.
By day, we stuck to our rooms—little more than nooks carved off the main cavern—and by night, we made the most of what we had.
We fucked, we fed, we laughed and cried and found petty dramas to lose ourselves in.
But after fifty years, I hadn’t found anything that occupied me more than hunting.
It was the only excuse I had to escape the drudgery of seeing the same faces and hearing the same voices night after night. Everything shared, everything given back to the fury. Nothing that was mine.
Thorn was right about one thing—I needed to get out of here.
Before I left, I crossed the market and slipped past a strung-up curtain on the other side of the cavern. The dark tunnel led to a split a few metres down, and I took the first turn on the left, a route as familiar to me as if it led to my own room.
“You decent?” I asked outside another curtain.
“Never,” Cliff replied, and I took that to mean Ria wasn’t currently impaled on his cock.
When I entered his room, I found him sitting on his bed lacing up his boot, getting ready for tonight’s mission.
“Are you all right?” Cliff asked, setting his foot on the ground as he took in my face. “You look like you walked in on Madri and Colette having sex again.”
I wrinkled my nose. Sex was as common an occurrence around here as pulling weeds out of the garden, but those two made it a contact sport. It was better to keep one’s distance unless you wanted to get punched in the face.
“Not tonight,” I said, throwing myself onto the bed beside him. The thin, straw-stuffed mattress barely shifted under my weight. “Though maybe it would have been less brutal. Thorn rejected my request to scout farther out.”
Cliff huffed a laugh. “You knew she would.”
I had, but it didn’t take the sting out of her refusal. “She suggested I take some time to myself. Figure out my priorities.”
“Priorities?”
“Apparently my desire to see more of the world than dragon-tainted rock is a problem.”
Cliff sighed and shoved his hand through his thick brown hair. “What exactly did she say?”
Damn insightful bastard. “She suggested I would be happier if I found interests outside hunting.” I snorted. “What does she think I’m going to do? Start making blankets? Twig would kill me if I tried. She owns the monopoly on blankets in this fury.”
Cliff nodded. “Yeah, don’t mess with her.” He tugged my braid, then returned to his untied laces. “You know she’s just looking out for us, Kalla. She’s spent the last however many decades ensuring we stay hidden. Whatever she’s suggesting, it comes from a good place.”
“I know. It’s just…” My shoulders sagged.
“Everyone else might have found a place for themselves here, but I’m still looking for mine.
I’m not about to run out into the sun, naked and screaming for any wanderers to find me.
Why can’t she understand that I want a glimpse of something other than trees and mountains? ”
Cliff propped his elbows on his knees. “If that glimpse got you killed, would it be worth it?”
“If staying cooped up here slowly drives me to madness, is that better?”
He chuckled and nudged me with his shoulder. “Do what Thorn said. Go to the haven and take some time to think about it. It might not be blankets, but maybe you’ll come home with a new passion for… I don’t know, poetry or something.”
I rolled my eyes. “Right. Because enforcing weekly poetry nights will endear me to the fury.”
“I’d rather hear your poetry than have you attempt another fiddle.” He grimaced at the memory, and I elbowed him in the ribs. He laughed and put his arm around my shoulders. “Happiness doesn’t have to be so hard to find, Kal. You just have to stop being miserable.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “That’s deep.”
He laughed again. “Thank Ria for that shit. She’s always on me to listen more.”
“Thank her for me, then.” I pushed myself to my feet and kissed his cheek.
“You good?” he asked.
“Always. I’m going to go. Shake off all this sentimental bullshit.”
He chuckled, but his gaze was serious. “Be careful out there tonight, Kal. With the potential fighting, make sure you’re paying attention.”
I offered a strained smile. “Promise.”
I blinked the rain out of my eyes and pulled my hood up a little higher.
From the moment I’d left the nest, the weather had worsened, but not enough to make me turn around.
After leaving Cliff’s room, my thoughts had homed in on one thing: proving to Thorn that my idea had merit and that I had more to offer than the same tired routine.
Now that I’d been out here for a while, trudging through mud and forest debris, my mind was clearing. Thorn’s refusal had had time to settle, and I’d only begun to work through all the levels of fucked up she’d left me with.
Going on the hunt—scouting—made me happy. It was the only time I felt able to breathe.
Even without our outlawed status, our lives were limited.
Thanks to our vampiric nature, we weren’t able to see the sun, we had to ration how much we fed to ensure our territory remained inhabited with livestock, and we were stuck in the same dreary cycles, our lives never changing because change meant danger.