Chapter Nine #2
“I promise.” Then he did the same to her, and once more they were in a battle of wills and the playing field was kissing.
The more he held her body between the French-paned door and his solid chest, the more her mind began to unravel. She slipped a hand between them to catch his hardened length in her hand. Then she gave it a gentle squeeze. “This is mine.”
“I never thought otherwise.” He fumbled at her leg, bringing it up his hip to encourage it to wrap around his waist, leaving her body open to him. “Guide me, Emma. I want to feel you,” he said with glittering eyes. The desperate teasing in his voice spurred her onward.
“Not as much as I do you.” As she spoke, she guided the head of his shaft along her folds until it kissed her opening. And she tumbled into love with him all over again.
“Ah, Emma, that look in your eyes…” With his hands on her hips, his fingers digging into her skin, he pinned her against the door at her back and brushed his knuckles along one of her nipples, laughing when she gasped.
“In moments like this, we are perfect together.” A growl entered his voice that she particularly liked.
“Agreed.” A throb of need rocked her body. “Hurry.”
With a flex of his hips, Cecil thrust into her with impressive force, and he didn’t stop until she was fully impaled upon him.
A moan of pure pleasure left her throat, and she gave in to a shiver. “This is one of my favorite moments.”
“Mmm, then I’ll work harder to find others.” Peering into her eyes, he planted a palm near her head and continued to stroke into her body as if his very existence depended upon sending her flying once more.
Perhaps it did. He was a very determined man.
She matched his rhythm easily enough. “Give me all of you because after this, we will start over again, rebuild what is between us, only stronger.”
As if her words energized him, Cecil renewed his efforts.
Deeper and deeper, he drove. Harder and harder he thrust, so much so that her body bumped against the door at her back with each one.
A sound of delight issued from her as she put her hands on his shoulders and held on tight.
He shifted his position slightly to provide greater friction, grunted when she moaned.
“I’m nearly done.” His voice was ragged; his breathing uneven. Sweat shimmered on his forehead. Where his top hat had gotten off to was anyone’s guess.
“Almost there…” One of her hands drifted to a breast to roll a nipple. Goodness but it was so lovely to have the freedom to express herself as she wished. “More,” she whispered to him and met his thrusts the best she could.
With a growl, Cecil delved a hand between their heaving bodies. Once more he found that swollen bundle of nerves at her center, and he rubbed his fingers over it, chuckling when she writhed.
A keening cry wrenched from Emma’s throat.
She shattered in his arms while her back arched and she clung to him in wonder.
The wild contractions in her core sucked at him, pulled him down into that swirling vortex of bliss with her, and through he gave a final thrust, he didn’t follow through, for he quickly withdrew from her body.
He came hard and intense, directed the streams of ejaculation to her stomach and thighs.
The sticky warmth both elated but disappointed her, but when he collapsed against her, drawing ragged breaths that echoed in his ears, she held him tightly to her.
“I need more time to decide about children,” he whispered. His rasping breathing blended with hers. “I’ll understand if you hate me.”
“I could never do that. Not anymore.” Something had changed between them; something new and different had been exchanged with their souls that she couldn’t quite define, but she welcomed it as a second chance.
When she thought he’d pull away, he merely wrapped his arms around her and turned them about so that her back was to the gardeners. He held her gaze. There was such intensity in his eyes it stole her breath. “I failed you, Emma, so much, and I don’t know if I can make that up to you.”
The raw truth of that statement sent tears welling into her eyes. “Perhaps I’ve failed you too. I should have come after you, I should have made it my business to make sure you were not alone, especially when you were suffering…”
“How could you have known since I didn’t tell you?” He cupped her cheeks, held her head between her palms. “I’m not fit to be a husband.”
A tear fell to her cheek, and he caught it with the pad of his thumb. “You don’t know that.”
“But I suspect.” Cecil pulled away. Emotions clouded his eyes, flitted over his face, then he bounced his gaze away, clearly disturbed and lost in his thoughts.
As he stuffed his flagging length and did up the buttons of his front falls, he said, “Leave me, sweeting. Go back to London and let fate have at me, because I don’t deserve to find happiness in this life after what I’ve done.
” The depth of despair and angst in this tone tugged at her heart.
“A man who looks like me doesn’t deserve goodness or light in his life. ”
“Cecil, stop that this instant.”
He shook his head. “I’ll petition for a divorce as soon as I can have my solicitor here with the paperwork to sign.”
What was this about? She stifled the protest rising in her throat. “Then what happens to you?”
“That won’t be your problem.” He edged away from her a few steps. “You’ll be free.”
I don’t want that any longer!
“I rather think it is.” Attempting to argue with him as she righted her clothing fell upon apparent deaf ears. “Please, Thornton, don’t shut me out. You promised.”
“Perhaps I’m not as strong as I thought.” He shook his head. “I feel as if I’m being torn apart and I don’t know how I can make anything right.”
“Then talk to me, you great nodcock!” Hot panic rose in her chest, for she could feel him pulling away spiritually as sure as he was physically.
His expression was heartbreaking in its determination. “Find Galahad, seduce him, gain his promise to marry you once you’re free of me…”
“No, Cecil, no. It’s you. It’s always been you for me.”
Tracing the scars on the left side of his face with his fingertips, he shook his head. “I’m sorry.” Then he fled, ran down the steps into the winter-bare garden and over the snow-laced lawn as she stood there perplexed and with her heart breaking anew.
“Cecil!” But he didn’t come back. An ache set up around her heart. Not knowing what to do for him, she entered the manor by way of the ballroom, and avoiding the maid’s eyes, she ran from the room to seek out hers while tears streamed to her cheeks.
Will I lose him to his demons after all? Fiercely, she shook her head. “Not while I still have breath,” she whispered to the empty corridors, but first she needed a plan.