Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
“… a
nd in the eyes of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
The words were announced to muted cheers and light applause. A few people sniffed back tears, and most wore a smile that suggested this occasion to be a happy one.
In many ways, it was that. As the priest announced Rose and the Duke to be man and wife, Rose found her sister’s smiling face, and she used that to comfort herself from the thoughts of morosity and dread that had been attacking her these past weeks.
That smile, those glimmering eyes. Her sister was happy, and that’s what mattered.
Now what? I am a married woman, but have no idea what that means. How will my life change? What is expected of me, and of my husband, for that matter?
Rose had participated in the marriage ceremony as if she were watching from afar.
In the morning, when her sister helped her get dressed, she realized that the Duke was still practically a stranger On the ride over here, her father had warned her against doing anything that might upset her intended.
So she walked down the aisle, she stood beside her husband, took his hand, and announced to the world that she wished to join him in wedded matrimony.
The whole day had been a blur, and she hadn’t yet come back to herself now that the ceremony was concluded.
“Rosalind,” the voice spoke softly from beside her.
Rose blinked herself into the moment to find her husband looking at her. “Oh. Yes?”
“Is something the matter?”
“What? No. Why would it be?”
Rose was having a hard time figuring her husband out. He was self-assured, confident, aware of the world around him and his place in it. He was also cold and distant, serious and severe, and in every way typical of his class. On the surface, he was exactly what she expected.
Then moments like this arrived. Moments where he seemed to care, where he softened, where humor and personality found his eyes as if he wanted her to know that this marriage was not something to be worried about. But why would he even care? Why would he concern himself at all with Rose’s feelings?
“Come then,” He took her hand; it was large and wrapped around her tiny hand. “Let us get this over with.” His tone was soft, even hesitant, as if today was not the triumph it should be.
Rose followed him down the aisle, eyeing the side of his head, noting the way he smiled and thanked the guests as they went. He was polite. He was particular. He was, once again, the embodiment of everything he should be.
He was also something else that Rose could not quite fathom.
She was likely imagining it, but it looked as if he was fighting the urge to drop her hand, to race from the church, and to never look back. He smiled, and he laughed, but it was forced, and behind his smiling eyes, she could see how difficult it was for him.
At least we have that in common.
This was not a traditional marriage, and Rose was pleased that it was not being pretended otherwise because, unlike with most weddings, there was to be no post-ceremonial feast. Apparently, the Duke had forbidden such things.
For that reason, the morning was spent in the church giving thanks to those who had come, and before Rose knew what was happening, she was being led from the church to a carriage that waited for them both outside.
“Rose!” Marianne pushed through the crowd toward her, and Rose wondered if she had ever seen her sister so happy. “Before you go, I wanted to—” She took Rose’s hands, and her chin trembled. “To thank you.”
“We have been over this, Marianne. There is no need to –”
“There is,” she said. “I know you did not want to do this. Nor did you have to. But that you did,” She sniffed back tears. “You are a better sister than I deserve.”
Rose felt the tears coming, and she sniffed them back. “Just do me one favor.”
“Anything.”
“Make it count.” She touched her sister’s cheek. “Make it count.”
And that is why I did this. When the days become their longest, when the times are their hardest, I will have this moment to comfort me…
Such a moment was brief because, before she knew it, Rose was being ushered toward the carriage where her husband stood waiting. He did not wear a smile. He did not look particularly pleased. He watched her coming, almost with a sense of impatience, and bade her to enter.
She did so, having to hoist up her own gown and climb in.
Then he was behind her. The door closed. The people cheered and clapped. The carriage started to move. And Rose squirmed in her chair, contending herself with the very real fact that the next stage of her life was about to begin.
The newly married couple sat in silence at first. The Duke, happy to look out the window and pretend she was not there. And Rose, watching him closely, searching for some indication that this wasn’t the biggest mistake she had ever made.
Yes, he had assured her of what was to be expected. And yes, it should have set her mind at ease, if only a little. But the conversation had been brief; it felt like so long ago, and she needed to hear it again.
I need to know what this is, so there is even a chance I might find peace.
“May I ask you a question?” she started.
“Hhmm?” the Duke started in surprise and pulled himself from looking out the window.
“I said, can I ask you a question?”
He frowned. “I think you just did.”
Rose leaned back, caught by surprise at the comment. The Duke wore a smirk, and his green eyes sparkled with amusement. And then, as if realizing something, the Duke dropped his smirk and straightened. His expression turned suddenly serious, and all humor was gone.
“Of course, you may ask me a question,” he said. “Please.”
Rose narrowed her eyes at her husband. Once again, she was having a hard time figuring the man out. There was undoubtedly a lightness to his personality, a sense that he could be fun and even jovial. But he seemed at pains to hide it, as if scared to show the world that side of himself.
“This marriage…” She cleared her throat. “I wish to confirm exactly what it is going to entail.”
“A little late for that now, is it not?” he said. “You are aware that the ceremony is over? No chance to get yourself out of it.”
“I am not trying to get myself out of it. If you recall, I am the reason that we are married in the first place.”
“Which tells me that you know exactly what you want,” he responded coolly. “So, rather than asking, why not just say it?”
Rose scowled. “You promised me a marriage of convenience, and I want to make certain that nothing has changed.”
“It has not,” he said simply.
“So,” She cleared her throat again. “You and I are just… we are… this is…” She found her tongue growing thick in her mouth, the words not coming out how she wanted them to.
“Allow me to set your mind at ease, Rose,” he sighed. “You do not mind if I call you as such? Seeing as you are now my wife.”
She scoffed. “So long as I may call you by your name? Christopher?”
His eyes flashed with amusement again, which he was quick to smother. “It is as I told you before, this marriage is mere convenience. The reason I married in the first place,” His lip curled.
“My father’s contract.”
“That was the cause, yes,” he said sharply. “But it is not the sole reason. The simple fact is that it behooves a man of my station to marry, to have a wife by my side so that my peers see me as…” He rolled his eyes. “Respectable.”
“It sounds like you do not agree.”
“It does not matter what I think; it is the nature of things.” A shadow passed behind his eyes, and Rose could see that this thought annoyed him.
“All I need from you is what you promised. You claim that you know people, that you know how the world works.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Then prove it.”
“What does that mean?”
He shrugged. “I suspect that we will find out. For now, I need as little from you as possible. We will live together. We will occasionally dine together. Who knows, perhaps in time we might even become friends.”
“Re–really?”
“No,” he said flatly. “My home will be yours, but we are not to treat one another as a married couple. In fact,” He bit into his lip and nodded once to confirm his thought. “Now seems as good a time as any to raise the matter of children.”
“Children?” Rose’s heart leapt through her throat.
“I do not want any,” he said, making sure to look right at her. “Nor do I expect us to try for any. If you catch my meaning.”
She frowned to herself, not understanding at first… “Oh!” Her eyes widened, and suddenly, the inside of the carriage became very hot. “No – I mean, yes. Yes, I agree. I do not wish for any children either.”
“Wonderful,” he said. “Now, is there anything else?” He raised his eyebrow at Rose, she shook her head, and he went back to looking out the window.
It should have been music to Rose’s ears.
Everything that the Duke— Christopher had said was exactly what she wanted to hear. A marriage of convenience and nothing more. A life of her own to live any way that she wished.
And yet, there was a niggling feeling deep within Rose’s subconscious.
A sense that she was missing out on something.
Obviously, as things stood, she had no desire for a family or any of that nonsense.
She was never the type. But what if that changed?
What if one day she woke up and realized that this was a mistake?
It was a silly thought, and Rose could not believe she was having it. Not now, when she had never once considered such things before. But as the carriage ride stretched on, and as she studied her silent husband, that niggling feeling remained.
Worse than that, it grew inside of her.
This marriage is exactly what I want, but what if what I want changes? Or what if what my husband wants changes? Then what?
By the time they reached Thornwell Estate, Rose felt a desperate need to free herself from the carriage so that she might be alone to set her mind right and do away with these pesky feelings.