Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
It was a clear night, the moon sat full in the dark sky, and its light shone through the carriage window so that Rose felt as if she were glowing from it.
Her skin sparkled. Her eyes glimmered. And the great big emerald-encrusted necklace that sat nestled on her chest shone like the green flame of a candle.
And all the while, her husband, Christopher, sat across from her, watching with a knowing smile and green eyes that matched the shine of her necklace.
“What?” Rose asked awkwardly.
“Hhmm?” the Duke said.
“What are you looking at?”
They had been sitting in silence since they left the manor. It was not a tense silence, nor was it awkward. Now that Rose and her husband were getting to know each other better, they could be together without falling into such tense states.
But that did not mean they had found complete comfort.
While the Duke was no longer as severe or emotionally distant as he had once been, he was certainly not jovial.
He still refrained from smiling outwardly.
He was still careful not to laugh or let down his guard.
He was still so stiff, and everything he said, every action taken, seemed weighed and measured beforehand.
I sense that tonight will be no different. Surrounded by our peers, our first time out together, no doubt I am going to be treated to the falseness and the feigned adoration.
It was a start, at least, and Rose was grateful for it. But it was nowhere near enough.
“I was just noticing the necklace,” he said simply. “It suits you.”
“Oh.” Rose blushed and had to resist the urge to fondle the necklace. “Thank you again for buying it for me.”
“I was happy to,” he said. Then he paused for a moment, his eyes moving over her, drinking her in. He licked his lips, she saw something pass behind his eyes, and she braced for it. “It really does suit you.”
Rose’s heart dropped because she had thought for a moment that he was about to be real with her. Maybe he was even going to tell her how good she looked.
No… he won’t do that. Not until there is someone around to hear it.
Still, Rose was careful not to appear downtrodden. In her mind, she was convinced she did not want his compliments or his fawning. All she wanted right now was the real him, and that looked to be a price too high.
They rode the rest of the way in silence. The odd shared smile. The odd moment when it looked like something was on her husband’s mind. But he was so damn careful to keep his feelings and thoughts hidden. And Rose, ever the stubborn one, wasn’t going to push him.
All that changed when they arrived.
It started with Christopher insisting that he be the first one from the carriage, so that he could offer her a hand to help her climb down. And this time, it was offered without seeming as if it were done as a favor.
“Thank you,” she said with a gentle smile.
“I wasn’t certain you would accept my help this time,” he responded with a wry smile.
There were already dozens of carriages parked around the driveway of the Winchester Estate, and from them walked scores of guests. A few, Rose recognized, many she did not, but they all seemed to know her. And most especially, they all knew her husband.
“Your Grace!” from the darkness, an elderly lord and his wife walked together, arm in arm. They smiled as they approached. “Lovely to see you here.”
“Ah, Lord Eastvale,” the Duke crooned. “How are you this evening? And your lovely wife?” He released Rose’s arm and swept toward the elderly lady, taking her hand and giving it a kiss. “You look ravishing.”
“Oh my,” the elderly lady gushed.
“Please,” the Duke was quick to return to Rose, where he took her hand and led her to meet the lord and lady. “Allow me to introduce you to my wife, Her Grace, the Duchess.”
“It is a pleasure.”
“Lovely to meet you.”
“As it is you,” Rose said with a slight smile.
“Does she not shine?” Christopher asked as she stepped in closer. “And am I not the luckiest man in the country?”
“Not the world?” Lord Eastvale chortled.
“Ha!” Christopher laughed, and it sounded forced and unnatural. “I did not want to brag, but yes, I think the world suits just fine.”
It was that way for the first hour or so of the evening.
She and her husband entered Winchester Manor in one another’s arms, walked through the expansive foyer, and were led into the ballroom, where there were already scores of guests in attendance.
It was a typically opulent affair, with the vibrant colors of the gowns, the sparkling crystal of the chandeliers, the gold paint on the walls, and the glistening marble of the floor.
Rose had always enjoyed these Balls. She enjoyed socializing, she liked to gossip, and learn what was what. And before she was married, she always attended them with an eye toward her sister’s future, as she never had to worry about her own.
What she found this evening, however, was how different things were now that she was married. And to a duke, no less.
Christopher was the center of attention from the moment they arrived. People parted to allow him through. Many swarmed on him to make their greetings. And all looked upon him as if the world moved at his beck and call.
“… married life suits me well,” he bragged to two lords whom Rose did not know. “I should have done it years ago.”
“… as happy as I have ever been,” he explained to Viscount Everleigh, a personal friend of Rose’s father. “And tell anyone who asks.”
“… oh yes, she keeps me busy,” he joked with a small group of half a dozen lords and their wives, all of whom laughed as if on cue. “Practice for when we have children, I suppose.”
Rose watched him closely throughout the interactions, confirming quickly what she was starting to suspect: that everything he did, everything he said, and every action taken was weighed, measured, and done with purpose.
He wore a mask as he filtered throughout the ballroom.
His smile was friendly and certainly not too large and suggestive.
His laughter was commanding, but not too loud, and not attention-seeking.
He never argued or rose to temper. He made sure to never appear bored or disinterested. And he always left a good impression.
Most interestingly, he does not enjoy it. He might pretend to. He might even tell me, were I to ask. But I can see the strain it has on him; I can see the sneers and curled lips when he thinks that nobody is watching. It is a face he puts on, and he does not like how it feels.
It made Rose wonder further about her husband.
She was happy to play her role because she did not want to upset him or ruin the evening. So she laughed along, nodded, and did not question him when he said something she disagreed with.
But all the while, she watched, and she considered, and she tried to figure out why he was acting this way. As a duke, he could say what he wanted, to whom he wished, and nobody could stop him. But that he was so careful… that was what struck her most.
“Gosh…” Christopher sighed loudly, and his shoulders slumped. “What an evening…”
They were alone for the first time, tucked toward the back of the ballroom, their purposeful placement, Rose thought, to give Christopher a break from the throngs of people.
“Something the matter?” Rose asked.
“Hhmm?” He perked up, aware that his posture had faltered. “No, not at all. I am rather enjoying myself, in fact. Yes, a wonderful time.”
Rose studied him. “You know, there is nobody else here right now.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means nobody is listening.” She indicated around them. “You don’t have to.” She clicked her tongue.
“Don’t have to what?”
“Pretend,” she said carefully, not wanting to upset him. Although she figured that in this public setting, he wouldn’t allow himself to be upset. “You don’t have to force yourself to be a certain way around these people. I don’t see why you bother or care.”
“Who says I am pretending?”
She looked at him flatly. “The way you tell it, you and I are so close that we can practically read one another’s thoughts.”
“I did get a little carried away, didn’t I?”
“But why?” she asked, still careful not to push too hard. “Forgive me, but I just did not think of you as someone who cared what others thought of him. Even if it looks like that’s all you care about.”
For the first time that evening, the mask slipped. Christopher’s brow furrowed, and she saw a shadow of doubt pass behind his eyes. He bit nervously into his lower lip, he glanced about them, and she truly thought that he was going to open up to her…
“Just playing my part,” he said eventually, letting his smile grow in a way that was very fake. “Just playing my part is all. Better that than the opposite.”
“Which is?”
He shrugged. “I never had to find out.”
“But –”
“Enough of that.” He waved her down and cocked his arm. “Shall we rejoin the throng?”
Rose sighed. He was lying to her. Worse, he was lying to himself. But considering how little she knew of her husband, and how far they still had to go, she did not think it was worth pushing him.
Maybe one day he will tell me more. Maybe he won’t. Maybe I shouldn’t care either why. Why do I care…
“Shall we find my sister?” she asked as they started into the ballroom again. A few people watched them, but thankfully, none came to approach.
“Oh, she is here, is she?”
“She better be,” Rose said with a smile. “At her age, she would be right to. Besides, there is no way that Father would let her not attend.”
“Yes, I gathered that he was a little,” He clicked his tongue. “Involved with her life.”
Rose laughed. “Oh, he is not that bad. Truly, sometimes I wish that he took more of an interest than he does.”
Christopher frowned at her. “More of an interest? That is an odd thing to say, considering that just last month he schemed to marry her off.”
“Yes, that was,” Rose shook her head. “That was a rare instance. The fact is, since I was a little girl, such tasks have fallen on my shoulders. My father tries where he can, but he knows that where Marianne’s future is concerned, I am the one who will see that she gets what she deserves.”
“And what does she deserve?”
“The world,” Rose said without missing a beat.
He came to a sudden stop, so unexpected that Rose continued to walk. When she realized that she was alone, she turned back and frowned at the way the duke was just standing there.
“What is it?” she asked, glancing about with nerves. “What did I say?”
He studied her with those green eyes, doing so in a way that made it seem as if he could see through her. It was uncomfortable, and Rose fidgeted, just as her heart rate quickened in her chest. It was so intense and so personal a feeling that Rose felt as if she were the only person in the room…
“What?” she asked again.
A smile found his lips, and it was genuine; likely the first of the night. “You really care for her, don’t you?”
“Who?”
“Your sister,” he said. “You care for her.”
“Of course I do.”
He nodded his understanding and walked to her, taking her arm without asking. “I shouldn’t be surprised, but I never had any brothers or sisters, so I never considered it.”
“Oh.” She blinked, caught off guard by the confession; the first time he had told her anything personal about himself. “You were an only child?”
“Something to that effect.”
“What was that like?”
The question was innocent, and Rose asked it to try to keep the conversation flowing. Is that not what one was meant to do? But as soon as she asked him, she felt him stiffen, and when she turned to see what was wrong, there was a darkness lurking on his expression.
“Christopher…”
He shook his head and cleared the darkness, smiling once again. It was a forced, fake smile, so she knew that whatever he was about to say would be more of the same that she had seen tonight. Not the real him.
“Shall we dance?” he asked her.
“Excuse me?”
“Dance,” he said, flashing his smile. He indicated across the room where there was a dancefloor. “It has been a while, I admit, but I think I am in the mood.”
Rose noticed immediately that they were being watched. Just as she noticed the way that he pitched his voice so that he could be heard.
She sighed inwardly, knowing once again that he was not asking her to dance because he wanted to, but because he thought that he should.
There had been a moment there… brief but noticeable…
where her husband had dropped the mask and spoken to her honestly and earnestly and with a realness that was greatly missing from this night.
And in that singular moment, Rose had come to realize that the man she had married was someone whom she might just like.
Sadly, that man was hidden again, and she doubted very much that she would be seeing him anytime soon. Not because he was not real, but because the Duke seemed terrified to let him out.
But he is there, I know he is. I just need to be patient or find a way of luring him back out.
“I would love to dance,” she said.
Christopher took her hand and led her to the dancefloor, and, to the eyes of those watching on, they were the perfect couple. But in Rose’s mind, she knew they were far from it.