Chapter 15 #2
That was a lie but Ronan was realizing the boy wasn’t paying much attention. He was still young. What did a child know? He sighed, dropping his head for a moment to collect himself. Although his heartbeat had finally calmed down, he still felt rather winded.
“Oh, I was wondering where you two were.” Isabel strode forward with Anne behind her. “We both were. Ollie, dearest, are you all right? Scratched up?”
Swinging both hands in the air so quickly he nearly clipped Ronan’s nose, the boy shouted, “No!”
It was impossible not to adore him. Ronan nudged Oliver along, who quickly went to tell Anne all about his escapades in the garden in his childish chatter.
Anne had enjoyed a well-deserved break while the other nursemaids helped, but now Ronan never wanted her to take his eyes off the boy.
They might need to have words about this.
“Would you like to apologize to Isla now or later?” Isabel waved to Oliver as the two disappeared down the hall and then turned to Ronan.
He frowned. “You don’t have to meddle in my business.”
Beaming, she asked, “Where is the fun in doing otherwise? Go on, then. She’s in the white powder room three doors down around the hall.”
He harrumphed but went all the same.
It wasn’t going to be fun. But it was necessary. He’d acted the cad and needed to make amends. Had he really shouted at her? After knocking, Ronan braced him for trouble as he entered the small room.
There sat Isla all on her own. She wore a new dress that fit fairly well, except it was clearly too long; one is Isabel’s to be certain.
There were no gloves on her hands as she was fixing a small bandage in its place.
Her one neatly styled hair was pooled around her shoulders, creating a breathtaking frame.
He stood there for a minute unable to think.
“Well?” Isla said at last.
Perhaps he had found someone too outspoken. But then Ronan amended this. He was here because she was outspoken, because she was not afraid to use her tongue.
If she wasn’t, then he wouldn’t be either.
“I beg your forgiveness for my prior behavior,” Ronan said neatly. He paused. “I should have shown more concern and gratitude, and I most wholeheartedly apologize.”
“Do you?” She turned, craning her neck up at him.
Glancing back at the door he had left partially open for the sake of propriety, Ronan hesitated. Then he stepped forward to join her on the small sofa. There wasn’t much room. He noted her raised eyebrows and wondered if touching knees was too much for her.
If it is, she had best say something.
Except she didn’t, so he did.
“I do. I wasn’t thinking clearly, but you should know that I care about your wellness and will purchase you a new dress and gloves and anything else that would ease your concerns,” he told her.
She shook her head. “I don’t need to be bought off into submission.”
“Does it hurt to have nice things?”
Her lips twitched before she answered, “Not particularly.”
“Then please make your purchases and have the bills sent directly to me,” he decided with a confirmed nod. Then he let out a breath to force the conversation he had been putting off for so long. “You had Oliver in your arms out there. And I was… overwhelmed.”
“We all were,” she reassured him before pausing. “Oliver? You mean, your son?”
Ronan started to nod. But memories of the past came to mind and he winced. He glanced back at the crack in the door. Then he turned to Isla’s thoughtful face. “No.”
“No?”
“He isn’t my son,” Ronan admitted. “He is my nephew. My sister… She passed shortly after giving birth. Her final wish was for me to love him as my own. And as I have not been able to find any church book confirming her marriage to another, I feel it is only right to truly raise him as my own.”
She exhaled. Her hand started to reach out to him, slowly but surely, before balking. Disappointed settled on his shoulders as he eyed the way she settled her hand back in her lap.
“I’m awfully sorry for your loss. How tragic it is. The pain you must have carried… I cannot imagine losing either of my sisters,” she admitted.
With a short nod, he cleared his throat. “I want to protect him. There are some that will question and judge. But as a duke, few will dare stand in my way to make him my heir.”
“That’s very considerate of you,” Isla offered before hesitantly asking, “What about his birth record with the church?”
He shrugged. “I am not worried about it. So long as he has my name, all should be well.”
Tilting her head, she asked, “Who else knows the truth?”
“A few close friends and household staff, all of whom are sworn to secrecy,” he added. “You don’t have to worry about it getting out. But as you can see, the boy needs additional guidance. He needs a mother and that is why I need to marry.”
There, the plan is out at last. She’ll understand everything now.
Except the look of understanding wasn’t there. Isla’s brow was furrowed. “But what about his mother? Will you tell him about her?”
Leaning back in surprise at the question, Ronan couldn’t help but frown. “That’s hardly important right now. He’s only a child. I’ll manage that situation when it arises.”
“Did your sister wish for you to make him your son or to love him as one? They don’t need to be one and the same,” she said gently.
“He will have my name and that is what matters most.”
Isla slowly shook her head. “There are other ways to do it, Ronan. Oliver deserves to know about his mother. He would want the truth someday. Wouldn’t you?”
Befuddlement sat strangely on Ronan’s back. He stood up and moved away. How was he supposed to make her see reason? She wasn’t understanding this.
“He will be a duke and that is all that matters. He will be secure. What else could he want?”
“Love, for starters. A father, yes. But most of all, a family that is honest with him. You should love him and care for him and protect him no matter what anyone else says.”
“And I will,” he countered as she rose to her feet. “I’m protecting him in the best way possible. There will never be a whisper of doubt about his parentage by the time he is grown. I won’t allow it.”
She had the gall to roll her eyes. “You cannot control the gossip of the ton. They will know of your child before marriage. He is too old.”
“Which is why he needs a mother who will be here to help him.”
“And he deserves to know about his first mother,” she insisted passionately. “You should protect him no matter what they say. Oliver is much more than just a child. He is more than just yours. He shouldn’t live a whole life as a lie.”
Ronan grumbled, “Why burden him so? It’s safer this way.”
“Safer to lie for the rest of your life?” Isla stared at him in disbelief.
She grew pale and shook her head. “Would you bury your sister so deeply to her own child? That is awfully cruel, Ronan. How could you think to do something so mean? I cannot believe you thought I would simply agree to this. I… I need to think about what you’ve said. ”
He stared as she started for the door. “You can’t break this engagement, Isla.”
Pausing at the door, Isla asked in a low voice, “But what if I did?”
He didn’t have words for her. Only a growl of frustration ripped through him. But it wasn’t even to keep Isla there. She disappeared down the hall, leaving him alone with his discontent.