Chapter 9
Nine
Adele was still shaking from her argument with the Duke, her eyes following him as he swept from the room and out of the ballroom.
Her cheeks were flushed red, and she was panting slightly as she turned to face her sister, Bianca, who was standing before her with an exquisitely polite expression on her face. Adele could feel the eyes of the other guests upon her and mentally kicked herself for her behaviour.
I have given the Duke exactly what he wanted. Proof that I am incapable of not causing a scene.
“Shall we adjourn to the veranda?” Bianca asked, and Adele nodded, letting her sister lead her out of the crowded ballroom.
The cool night stung Adele’s face, soothing the redness of her cheeks somewhat. She took a deep breath and looked up into the night sky.
“I should not have let my temper get the better of me like that. Duke Scarfield seems to have a rather frustrating gift for bringing out the worst in me.” She grimaced. That is an understatement. “I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”
Bianca clasped her hands in front of her and nodded. “I accept your apology and will, of course, forgive you. Though, perhaps in future it would be best to restrict your dance partners to ones with less mutual animosity.”
“I shall bear that in mind.” Adele smiled at her sister, and though Bianca returned it, Adele felt that there was something lacking about it. “Though who knows, with any luck he will not be at the next ball I attend.”
“I would not count on it. The Duke is a very important man; he will receive countless invitations.” Bianca glanced back towards the ballroom.
“I suppose.” Adele leaned against the cool stone of the banisters. “It seems rather unfair.”
Silence settled between them, broken by the sound of rustling leaves in the wind. Adele shifted, feeling the absence of noise acutely. Her sister gazed at her, utterly nonplussed.
“At least the weather is good.” Adele gestured to the night sky above them. “Not a single cloud in sight, and the moonlight makes the estate look almost magical.”
“Thank you. We work rather hard to keep the grounds and such looking proper.” Bianca smiled that same thin smile.
“Your work clearly has paid off. You must be very proud.” Adele fiddled with a loose thread on her glove. I must see to that when I get home.
“I am. And I am pleased that you seem so enamoured of the estate. Feel free to enjoy as much of it as you wish.” The formality of Bianca’s words stirred something within Adele.
She forced herself to keep smiling, even as an ache spread through her chest. “I will.” How can my own sister feel more like a stranger to me than the Black Widows?
“Good. And aside from that little… encounter… have you enjoyed the evening?” Bianca glanced once more towards the door of the ballroom.
“It has been lovely, thank you. Are Geraldine and Katherine hiding upstairs?” Adele smiled fondly as she thought of her nieces.
“Not hiding, they are with the governess. A ball is really no place for children.” Bianca’s tone was patronising, as though Adele really ought to have known better.
She bristled but forced the anger down. Why does everyone seem determined to treat me like a child? “I suppose not though they are not so young as that.”
“But they are not yet out. And it would be improper for them to attend. I am sure you know that.” Bianca gave her a meaningful look.
Silence settled between them, and Adele tried to think of something to say, but her thoughts kept turning back to Duke Scarfield. Push people away.
He knew nothing about her life, nothing about her. How dare he say something like that to her? “He knows nothing.”
“Who knows nothing?” Bianca asked, and Adele realised with a start that she had said it aloud.
She swallowed. “Duke Scarfield. I can count on one hand the number of times we have met, and yet he feels like he can just say what he likes to me. And what? I am supposed to simply accept what he says because he has said it?”
“You could have chosen not to dance with him,” Bianca pointed out. “And if you dislike the man so much, then why do you feel the need to speak of him so often?”
“I am not, I mean I do not. He is just… He gets under my skin.” Adele shrugged.
How could she explain to Bianca the complications with the Duke?
“So it would seem. Yet you continue to engage with him.” Her sister made a vague gesture with her hands.
“So, it is my fault?” Bianca’s brow furrowed.
“That is not what I was saying.” Her sister glanced over her shoulder. “I should probably get back to the party. Please do feel free to take some time to recover; that was quite the argument.”
“You are leaving?” Adele shook her head.
“Yes.” Bianca arched an eyebrow at her.
“That is it? We have some banal conversation, and then you just leave to go back to your party?” Adele gaped at her sister, taking a step towards her.
“I am the hostess, after all; you cannot expect to monopolise my time, Adelaide.” Bianca turned from her, but Adele grabbed her upper arm and spun her around to face her.
She swallowed as she hastily let go of her sister. “I am not asking to have all your time. I am simply asking you to act like you care about me.”
“Of course, I care about you. You are my sister after all.” Bianca sighed as though she were dealing with a particularly irate toddler.
The sigh broke something in Adele. “And yet you have not even visited me once since my husband died. The only correspondence I had from you was my invitation to this party.”
She is my sister, and yet the Black Widows have been more kind to me than she has.
Her sister stiffened. “And what good would a visit do? It would not undo your widowhood.”
“It would have helped me feel less alone. You could have brought my nieces, and we could all have spent some time together in Kidlington house.” Adele swallowed around the lump forming in her throat.
“I lost my husband, Bianca. My husband died in front of me on our wedding day.” She hadn’t loved him as a wife, but she’d treasured him as a friend.
“And while that is a tragedy, I do not want my children exposed it. I feared that having them around you would only make your grief harder to bear.” There was something in the words that Bianca was saying that made Adele think that was not the entirety of the truth.
A suspicion formed in her mind, and she clenched her fist as coldness spread through her chest. “You could have just asked. You could have written. Anything.”
“I have not had the time for such things. I have been planning this event.” Bianca gestured around them.
It is always some excuse. Bianca, and her other sister, Mildred, always did this. Every time, they gave Adele a reason why they could not visit. Why they could not write or spend time together. And she had always accepted it, but now, she could not.
Maybe it was because the Black Widows treated her with such kindness.
Maybe it was because she still had some leftover anger from her fight with the Duke.
Whatever the reason, Bianca found herself unable to let things go.
To let Bianca walk away and force down the feelings that had been bubbling up within her for years.
“Even now, you will not even ask me how I am. You have not even offered your condolences, let alone any kind of affection.” Bianca met her sister’s gaze. “What is your excuse this time?”
Bianca’s eyebrows rose so high that they were at risk of disappearing into her hairline. “I already said that you may stay out here as long as you wish; I will see that you are not disturbed.”
“But you are my sister.”
“And what has that got to do with any of this?”
“You are supposed to care about me, to look out for me, and yet you treat me like a stranger. Like we scarcely know each other.”
“That is because we do not know each other. You were still a babe when I left home.”
The words hit Adele like a slap to the face. Her sister had just confirmed her worst fears. She saw Adele as a stranger, and she treated her as a stranger.
“And did that never bother you? Did it never upset you that you did not know me?” Adele moved towards her, eyes stinging in the wind. “It did not have to be like this between us. We could have been close; we could have cared for one another.”
“I had other things to focus on. I was married. I had children of my own to look after. Do you really expect me to look after a child who was not mine as well?” Bianca folded her arms over her chest.
Adele recoiled away from her sister, but she could not bring herself to drop the topic. “You could have come and visited. I was a child. Do you know how lonely it was with only mother and father for company? And even then, they were scarcely home.”
“And carted around my children? Come now, Adelaide, be reasonable,” Bianca tutted.
“I am being reasonable. You act as though this estate is ages away from our own. It is scarcely more than an hour’s ride, and that is at a slow pace,” Adele pointed out.
“Adele, it is my fortieth birthday party; is now really the most appropriate time to discuss this?” Bianca tapped a foot on the ground.
“Probably not, but when else will we talk about this? When am I supposed to get you to talk to me, to listen to me? You abandoned me.” Adele shrugged.
“I grew up. There is a difference, Adelaide.”
“You say that, but you chose not to be in my life. You chose not to get to know me,” Adele retorted.
Bianca began to pace, throwing her hands in the air as she did so. “And what would you have me do differently? We do not live in some fantasy world where everything gets to be the way you want simply because you wish it.”
“I know that.” Adele crossed her own arms, resisting the urge to start pacing as well. “I suppose, what I am saying is that we are strangers, but we do not have to remain so. We could get to know one another.”
She tried to keep the hope from her voice, but she could not. She reached for Bianca’s hand, but her sister moved away from her, shaking her head.
“It is not as simple as that, Adelaide, and you know it.”
“What do you mean?” Adele’s heart sunk. Please, please no. Do not say it.
“I have to think of my children. I have to think of their future, and that means I cannot risk associating with the wrong sort of people or having them associate with those sorts of people.” Bianca wrung her hands, but there was no note of apology in her tone.
Wrong sorts of people. Her sister’s words echoed around her head. “And I am the wrong sort of people?”
“They call you the Black Widow for goodness’ sake!
People think you murdered your husband. That is all anyone can talk about — that and your little rebellions with your widow friends.
” Bianca’s anger poured out of her, so violent that Adele almost recoiled.
“Do you know how hard it is to be related to you? The kinds of things people say about you? About me?”
“Do you think that I killed Eric?” Adele asked, still reeling.
“That is beside the point.”
She narrowed her eyes, shaking her head as a numbness spread through her body. “Do you think I killed Eric? Do you truly think I am capable of murder?”
“I do not know what to think.” The words felt like a punch to the gut.
The wind was knocked from her body, and Adele felt as though the world around her was swaying. Something inside of her was cracking, and she could do nothing to stop it.
“If I am such a risk to your name, to your reputation, why on Earth did you invite me? Surely you could have just left it alone?” She shook her head, needing to understand.
“Because if word got out that I did not invite you, it would look like I believed that you had done it. It would only add fuel to their fires and ultimately make it a far worse situation for all of us.” Bianca frowned at her.
“I will say, however, that I thought you would have the common sense not to accept.”
“Well ,I am sorry to be such a disappointment to you.”
“Honestly Adelaide, this kind of behaviour is why it is hard for us to get to know one another. You need not be so combative.” Her sister made a dismissive motion, and in her mind’s eye, Adele heard the Duke asking if she was combative.
“All I am doing is pointing out what you already know — what you should already know. You are embroiled in scandal, and I cannot risk any of that falling onto my family.”
Adele’s heart turned to lead in her chest. No. No. No! “What are you saying?”
“I am saying that I think it would be best if we remained as we are. Cordial but nothing more. And in future, even if I extend an invitation, perhaps it would be best for you to decline. At least until all of this unpleasantness has blown over.” Bianca stepped away from her.
“You are telling me that you do not want me around.” Adele’s voice was as hollow as her chest felt.
“I am saying that for now you are a risk to my family, and I cannot allow that to continue.” Bianca’s words held no emotion, no apology, no softness.
Tears pricked at the corners of Adele’s eyes. “I am your family, too.”
“Then I hope you will do what is right and think of your nieces.” Bianca nodded towards her. “Now I really must be leaving. I hope you enjoy the rest of the party.”
Bianca turned on her heel and left.
Adele felt hot tears streaming down her face and wiped them away with the back of her hand. She did not care that it would smear her make up.
She crumpled to her knees, clutching her chest as she heaved deep breaths. Her own family did not want her around. Her sister, her own sister, thought she had killed her husband.
“They do not love me. They do not want me in their life.” She tore at the fabric of her dress and let out a painful sob.
She stood on shaky legs, and fled into the night, desperate to be as far away from this place as possible.