Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Gay men love divas. Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, Barbra Streisand, Whitney Houston. I’m old school. I love Cher. Which is why I chose to sing “Believe” when my grandmother and I went to audition for Sue Langtree and the church’s choir.
Now, I should explain why I chose that particular song.
As much as I adore Cher, she really only has one good note.
Wisely, she makes sure it’s in everything she sings.
I know this sounds like I’m putting her down, but I’m not.
It’s a really, really good note. Unfortunately, I have not found my good note.
Once we were inside the church for the audition, I went to stand to the side of the altar next to the organ.
Sue was at the organ. For some reason that made no sense to me, she didn’t have the sheet music for “Believe.” I mean, maybe it wasn’t exactly religious, but it was close enough.
Other than ‘I believe’ it barely had lyrics.
I didn’t see why you wouldn’t sing it in church.
Well, to each his own.
Nana Cole sat in the first pew next to Bekah Springer, the girl who told the scintillating story of Onan, who turned out to also be Sue Langtree’s granddaughter. Bekah, not Onan.
I hadn’t sung for very long before Sue stopped me by saying, “Oh my. Well, first of all, you’re a baritone, not a tenor. But that’s fine. We could use another baritone. Why don’t we start with scales.”
She began picking out notes on the organ. I’d do my best to hit them, and she’d say, “Lower. No, lower. Lower still.”
Honestly, it was very confusing. After I’d failed to hit at least a dozen notes, she asked, “Can you come to our rehearsals on Tuesday nights?”
“What? You’re kidding.”
“We’re short on men. I need you desperately.”
“But I can’t sing.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll work around that.”
I looked over to my grandmother for help, but she just sat there. Useless. I cleared my throat and that got her attention.
“Sue, I wonder if you could help me to the ladies room?”
“Oh, of course, I can.”
My grandmother stood up and clasped both sides of the walker. She started down the aisle while Sue returned her sheet music to the organ bench—which she flipped up to reveal a convenient spot to keep music—and then scurried after Nana Cole.
Bekah watched them leave, and the minute they were gone rushed over to me. “You’re from Beverly Hills, aren’t you?”
“L.A.,” I corrected.
“Same difference, right? I mean, my favorite show in the world is Beverly Hills, 90210. We have the whole show on tape. I watch it all the time. It’s just like that, isn’t it?”
I think I’d watched one episode when it was on TV and turned it off because it was so stupid, but I said, “Yeah. That’s what it’s like, pretty much.”
“Oh, God, you’re so lucky! I mean, you were. Now you’re here; that’s not lucky at all.”
“No, it’s not.”
“I bet you can’t wait to go back.”
I nodded. I didn’t really want to talk about me. Actually, I kind of did, but that wouldn’t get me any closer to going home. And this conversation was making me homesick.
“So, I guess you’re close to your grandmother?” I asked her.
“I stay with her a lot. It’s better than being with my mom. Not that my mom is horrible, but she’s married to this guy—Steve. He and I don’t really… I mean, he’s a total Brenda, if you know what I mean.”
I was pretty sure Brenda was a character on Beverly Hills, 90210 and not a nice one, so I nodded sympathetically.
“As soon as I turn eighteen, I’m moving to Beverly Hills.”
“Do you have a lot of money?”
It seemed a practical question.
“Well, I mean, I’m saving up. Maybe I could sleep on your couch when I get there. I mean, no funny business.”
“I’m gay.”
She gasped. “Oh my God. We could be Will I did. I wanted to lose my virginity. Like those boys in that movie.”
“American Pie?”
“Yeah, that one. Anyway, I was flirting with Jason Marks most of the night. He’s really hot. I thought something might happen. It was a sleepover. Nobody’s parents knew there were boys there. It was a big secret.”
She stopped, seemed to consider what to say next, then, “Melody Sheck’s sister got us mandarin-flavored vodka.
Everyone was kind of drunk. I kind of fell asleep behind this sofa.
In the middle of the night, someone got on top of me.
I thought it was Jason at first, and that was kind of okay, but then I realized it was this other guy, Donny Hyslip, and…
he’s not, um, I don’t think he’s hot. So, I didn’t want to—but I felt bad about that, you know, not liking him just because he’s ugly.
And, you know, I kind of just lay there and let it happen. ”
She was quiet for a long moment, then she said, “My grandmother says I was raped. I mean, I guess, maybe. Anyway, that’s why she and Reverend Wilkie helped me.”
“It would have been okay to say no,” I said, even though I wasn’t especially good at saying no myself.
“I don’t know. There were people around and I didn’t want anyone to know it was happening. I mean, it was awful enough.”
“You told Reverend Hessel?”
“I did. I mean, most of the time I don’t want to talk about it at all. And every once and a while it’s like all I can talk about. Does that make sense?”
“Totally,” I said.
“I probably shouldn’t be talking to you about it either.”
“It’s all right. Since I’m from California. Most people here don’t believe anything I say anyway.”
And I certainly wasn’t going to use the information to blackmail Sue Langtree and Reverend Wilkie. And it was good to know that Donny Hyslip was a dick in case I ever ran into him.
“I mean, I am glad there won’t be a little Donny Hyslip running around,” she said. “That would have been awful. Looking at that face the rest of my life.”
I nodded agreement. The homily she’d read was beginning to make more sense.
Bekah must have identified with Er’s wife.
There she was waiting for her naughty husband/hot crush to come home and give her a toss, but instead she gets her brother-in-law/ugly guy who immediately announced his devotion to coitus interruptus—or in Bekah’s case, not.
When Nana Cole and Sue came back in, I said we should probably get going.
Sue made me promise twice to come to the next rehearsal.
I promised I would, though I had no plans to show up.
I mean, promising seemed like the only way she’d ever let us leave.
As we drove home, I asked, “What did Sue have to say for herself?”
“Nothing really. I tried to get her to talk about Reverend Wilkie, but she wouldn’t say anything other than he’s a good man.”
Even though he clearly didn’t like me, I said, “He might be a good man.”
He did go out of his way and against his religion to help a teenager in trouble. That’s what good men do. Right?
“The whole thing was humiliating,” my grandmother continued. “She tried to take my pants down for me.”
“You did ask for her help.”
“Yes, but she didn’t even—well, I told her I just wanted her to come in case I took a fall. She left me alone after that.”
Gray clouds hung over Lake Michigan. They looked like someone had pulled the stuffing out of a bunch of teddy bears. A lot of teddy bears.
“Sue and the good reverend were definitely not having an affair,” I said.
“How do you know?”
“Bekah told me.”
“How does she know?”
“Because she knows what really happened.”
“Which is?”
“I don’t think I should tell you.”
“What do you mean? I’m paying you.”
“Well, you haven’t paid me yet. Besides, it I don’t think it has anything to do with Reverend Hessel’s murder. And it would just hurt people.”
“When did you start caring about other people?”
That was such a mean thing to say it deserved a mean answer, so I said, “Last Tuesday at three twenty-three in the afternoon. You were napping.”
“You’re such an odd child,” she said under her breath.
We drove in silence for a mile or two. Finally, I said, “Why aren’t you in the choir?”
“I can’t sing a note. Where do you think you get it from?”
“This audition was just to humiliate me, wasn’t it?”
“No. We needed to find out what’s going on between Sue and Reverend Wilkie. And apparently, we did. You just won’t tell me.”
“They’re not having an affair. Do you really need to know more than that?”
“But they still have a motive, don’t they?”
And I had to admit they did. A big one.