Alone #2
And it had been a kick in the ass for Ethan, too. A reminder to focus. Because Sarah may have been floundering deciding what she wanted, but he’d been sitting on his ass not going after what he wanted.
Tenure. He wanted tenure, and he wanted security for his Sarahless future, and above all he wanted to know what the hell was going on with those satellite photos.
Looking at them, he felt like he had in third grade, when Ms. Robles had given him a bean to plant in a plastic cup of dirt, and he’d watched over days and weeks as the bean split and sprouted and grew into a lush green seedling.
Wonder and awe and a burning need to know more.
Javier had been silent for a while. “So you broke up?” he said at last. “That fucking sucks.”
“It does.”
“And you’re running away.”
“I’m not—” Shit, he’d already admitted that he was.
“This research trip was planned months ago. It had to be, to get all the land permits.” Of course, he’d planned on it being a couples outing with research on the side.
That was what had sparked Sarah’s damn spreadsheet, when he’d suggested she come along.
Her eyes had gone wide with horror, and in the moment he hadn’t been surprised, though he’d certainly been surprised by his own lack of surprise. “I just bumped up my dates a little.”
“To get away from Sarah. Dude, you’re such a drama king.” Javi nudged the wheeled crate with his toe. “But I get why you’re pissed.”
“I’m not mad at her,” Ethan insisted, not sure if he was lying or not.
“It took her a while to figure out her shit, but now she knows who she is and what she wants, and the fact that it’s different from what I want doesn’t make her evil.
It just means we shouldn’t be together. Hell, once we’ve had a few months to get used to the breakup, we’ll probably be able to be friends again. ”
Javi was silent for a long moment, then sat across from Ethan in the stiff plastic guest chair. “So what are you running away from, then?”
Ethan ran a frustrated hand through his hair, then leaned forward to dig into his bottom drawer.
“Everybody else. Myself.” He dug his leather tool belt out of the back, hefted its weight, checking to see nothing was missing.
The tools were too shiny—he hadn’t been out in the field in years, just used them for classroom demonstrations.
“Sarah’s part of the gaming group, the household.
If I stay, it’s going to be uncomfortable for everyone to have both of us around.
This way you guys can get used to us being broken up, and we don’t have to figure out who gets the pets in the divorce. ”
“Did you just call us your pets?”
“You know what I mean.” Ethan tossed the toolbelt atop his battered desk.
“We’ve made the right decision. I know it.
Sarah knows it. The rest of you either know it or you’ll understand eventually.
But…” He bent to rummage in the bottom drawer again, even though he had everything he needed.
“We were together for a long fucking time. Five years.[1] [2] [3] We were settled, you know? Comfortable. If we both keep showing up to game night and fighter practice just like usual, we’re going to just fall into old habits.
” He didn’t say fall into bed, but when he chanced a look at Javi’s face, his expression showed he’d heard it anyhow.
“We just need some time to get used to being apart. Maybe for Sarah to find—” He broke off, gritted his teeth, made himself say it. “A new boyfriend.”
Javi picked up the tool belt, hefted it thoughtfully. “And the apartment?”
“Settled. Sarah’s staying in the old place until the lease runs out in a few months.
And I’ve already got the keys to a new place.
Closer to the university, so that’s a plus.
It’s even got a yard. Movers are scheduled for next weekend.
” He wouldn’t be there for the move, but that was probably for the best. He’d already packed up everything he wanted to take.
Javi tossed the tool belt onto the desk[4] [5] and snorted. “Movers? That’s cold, man. You know I’d help you out for pizza and beer. We all would.”
“We’re grown-ass adults now,” Ethan said, heaving up to stand. “Half of us have bad backs, and the other half have bad backs and just don’t know it yet. I’ll spring for a night at Luigi’s when I get back.”
Javi grinned, pushing back in the chair so far the plastic creaked. “Why not steak at Daisy Mae’s? Since we’re grown-ass adults.”
“We’ll see.” Ethan stuffed the tool belt in the file crate. “If this trip doesn’t yield results, I may end up sleeping on your couch again while I search for a new position. In that case, I’ll treat you to some cup ramen.”
“Just like old times.” Javi stood abruptly and reached for the handle of the file crate. “This everything?”
“Everything from here. I’ve got to stop by the storage unit to load my gear into the Jeep, strap on the tent and the solar panel.
” Ethan hoisted his bag to his shoulder and scanned the office, suppressing sentiment in favor of practical logic.
He’d already given his plants and succulents to Maggie to water while he was gone, and this wasn’t the sort of trip to bring all his books[6] .
The most important references were already in his bag with his sketchbook and laptop.
“Hope you’ve got a big-ass water tank.”
“Biggest they make. But there’s water in the area. Couple creeks. Once the monsoon starts, I’ll have more water than Noah.” He glanced sidelong at Javi. “And I’ve got plenty of canned mead in the cooler. The tavern got all my summer business in one fell swoop.”
“Right.” Javi shifted on his feet, hand flexing on the crate handle, then abruptly reached out and grasped Ethan’s shoulder. His eyes were serious. “Game night won’t be the same without you, bro.”
“It’s only three months,” Ethan said with a laugh. “I’ll be back beating your ass at Space Base before you know it. Not to mention on the fighting field.”
Javi withdrew, grin back on his face. “You’re assuming the tavern’s gonna last three months without you.”
“I bought—”
“Three months worth of pub fries and burgers?”
“Well, buy some in my honor, then. And mead, too. The good stuff.” A flash of Sarah’s laughing face as she tipped back a glass of Superstition Blueberry Hex, the way her kiss had tasted when he’d caught her in the hall after…
“Right.” Javi maneuvered the crate in the small space so he could open the door. “I can’t believe you’re going to spend the next three months alone. Couldn’t be me, man.”
“Trust me,” Ethan said heavily, banishing his thoughts of Sarah from his mind. “Some time alone is exactly what I need.”
The real question was whether three months was going to be enough.