Chapter Nineteen
Margaret took a deep breath and stared at her reflection in the looking glass of the ladies’ retiring room.
Had something changed? Jacob was certainly acting in a strange, stilted manner that was so unlike him.
Had he read her mind when she’d first realised the bride was with child?
Was he aware of how much she wanted children, his children, even though that was something they had never discussed?
Maybe it was time they had that discussion.
She drew in another deep breath, wondering whether she really could tell him how she had fallen so deeply in love with him and wanted them to be joined forever, not just as husband and wife but as the parents of children, and maybe one day as grandparents.
She nodded to her reflection. She needed to tell him, even if his response was to tell her that he did not want children, then at least she would have some idea of what the future held for her.
She needed to know if that was the reason her outgoing and fun-loving husband suddenly looked like he was bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Yes, that was the best thing to do. Ask him what had caused his sudden despondency, and then, perhaps, maybe, tell him how much she was yearning to have his child.
She frowned at herself. Or should she wait until they were back at the townhouse?
That might be a better idea than having such an intimate conversation in a public place.
She nodded slowly, but she still wanted to find out what was troubling Jacob.
She did want to know why his manner had changed so much since they’d walked into the church.
Was it seeing his old friends? Remembering his old life?
Or seeing his ex-lover again? Whatever it was, she needed to talk to him.
Now? Maybe. Or perhaps that too was a conversation best left till they got home.
While she continued to debate with her reflection what to do, the door opened and Baroness Winterborne entered.
Stifling a gasp, Margaret picked up a nearby comb and ran it through her ringlets as if they desperately needed rearranging. The last thing she wanted right now was to be in this small enclosed space with Jacob’s former lover, and she hoped the woman was as reluctant to talk as she was.
No such luck. The Baroness’s reflection loomed beside her shoulder, looking no less elegant than she had on the night they had met at the theatre.
‘We meet again, Your Grace,’ she said with a small bow of her head, and Margaret wondered whether she detected a facetious note in her greeting.
‘Baroness,’ Margaret said, turning to face her and forcing herself to nod politely.
‘I’m so pleased we have met in private,’ the Baroness went on, ignoring the presence of the two maids. ‘I really wanted to tell you how different you look since we met at the theatre.’
Margaret was unsure how to respond, as she wasn’t entirely sure if that was a compliment or an insult.
‘You’re positively glowing, your eyes are sparkling and you certainly look like a satisfied woman.’
‘Thank you,’ Margaret said tentatively. That sounded almost like a compliment, but it came from such an unexpected source it was hard to be certain.
‘And I know exactly the reason why.’
‘You do?’ she said, her wariness growing.
‘Oh, my dear, we both know, don’t we?’
‘We do?’
‘He does that to a woman, doesn’t he?’ She closed her eyes and sighed, causing Margaret’s entire body to tense. There could be no doubt about who the he she was referring to was.
‘He makes you feel adored, almost worshipped, as if you are the most beautiful woman in the world.’
The Baroness opened her eyes and leant towards Margaret as if about to make a confession. Margaret leant backwards, not wanting to hear anything this woman had to say, especially about Jacob. She should leave, but she remained where she was, as if under some strange compulsion to torture herself.
‘I shouldn’t really say this, but I’ve had one or two lovers in my time, but none came anywhere near Jacob, none made me feel the way he did.’
She actually winked at Margaret. ‘The things that man can do to a woman’s body…
my, oh my. When I saw you walk into the church, that little smile curling the edges of your lips, with your arm through his, leaning towards him as if your body was being drawn into his orbit, I knew exactly what the two of you had been up to this morning, and I must admit I was rather jealous. ’
The tension in Margaret’s body intensified. ‘Jealous?’ What was this woman threatening?
‘Oh, don’t misunderstand me. As much as I’d like to have Jacob back in my bed, you’re safe.
Well, safe from me, that is. I’d never do anything again to endanger my marriage, and being with Jacob definitely did that.
My husband had never minded me taking lovers before, but he was livid when I was with Jacob.
He hated seeing me…well…looking the way you do now, and knowing that another man was causing me to behave like a cat on heat. ’
Margaret’s jaw clenched, her shoulders stiffened. She was certain she was not behaving in such a manner.
‘That’s the reason why my husband threatened divorce proceedings.
He was jealous of Jacob and wanted to have his revenge.
I tried throwing myself on my husband’s mercy, begging him, promising to never again be unfaithful, but none of it worked.
’ She smiled as if this was all an amusing story.
‘Do you know what made him drop the silly idea in the end?’
Margaret shook her head, unable to answer, even though she knew what had put a stop to the divorce. She had. Their fake engagement had. Jacob’s plan to appear respectable had.
‘I told my husband that if he put aside these foolish threats I would show him some of the tricks Jacob taught me in bed.’
The Baroness’s laughter covered Margaret’s shocked gasp.
‘And I did,’ she said. ‘I now have a very, very happy husband and it’s all thanks to Jacob. And while he has never reached Jacob’s level of expertise, things have certainly improved for me as well, and my husband also now has a very happy mistress, thanks again to Jacob.’
She placed her hand on Margaret’s arm, as if they were now the best of friends, united by their shared pleasure in Jacob’s bed. ‘Has he shown you how to—’
‘It’s lovely to see you again, Baroness,’ Margaret said, finally finding her voice and cutting her off before she could say anything even more outrageous. ‘But I really must be…’ She was unsure what she must be doing, but she had to get away from this woman.
‘Go back to your husband. Of course you must. You lucky, lucky woman. And it’s not just that he’s such an expert in the bedroom, he’s such a wonderful man all round, isn’t he?’
Despite herself, Margaret stopped. ‘He is?’ she asked, dreading what else the Baroness had to say, but also wanting to hear everything.
‘Yes, Henry told me all about how Jacob proposed to you to save me from the divorce courts. It was so magnanimous. If we hadn’t already parted, I’m sure I would have seen it as a grand romantic gesture rather than an act of kindness from a wonderful man.’
Margaret swallowed a gasp.
‘I’m sorry, my dear, that’s not to say your marriage is meaningless. It’s just that…well, he did marry you to save me, so our time together must have meant a great deal to him, and that is something I will always treasure.’
Margaret continued to stare at her, once again lost for words.
‘Oh, I didn’t mean to upset you,’ the Baroness continued. ‘You’re the one in his bed now. You’re the one who is smiling like the cat who got the cream. Please don’t be jealous of me. It’s all over between us, I promise.’
No words could console Margaret because she was right.
With all that had happened in the last few months, she had forgotten the real reason why they were together.
It had been for the sake of his former lover.
The Baroness had meant more to Jacob than she did, and yet he had moved on from her with hardly a backward glance.
How long would it take for him to do the same to her?
And the Baroness had certainly been more rational and unsentimental about the situation than Margaret.
She’d known what Jacob was like, just as Margaret had when they’d first met.
The Baroness had accepted that. She had enjoyed their time together and when it was over she had accepted the situation.
She hadn’t been foolish like Margaret and seen it as anything more than just a pleasurable time.
She hadn’t been stupid enough to fall in love.
Or even more foolish to think she wanted to become the mother of his children.
It seemed she was still that na?ve young woman who had walked up the aisle, and nothing that had happened over the last few months had changed that.
If anything, she had become more gullible, more pathetic.
‘As I said, if you’ll excuse me, I must—’
‘Yes, you must be anxious to make the most of the time you have with him, because, unfortunately, as wonderful as it is, it won’t last and it won’t be long before some other pretty young thing takes his fancy, and she starts wearing that same look of delightful satisfaction. Just enjoy yourself while it lasts.’
Those terrible words ringing in her ears, Margaret fled from the ladies’ retiring room. Once the door closed behind her, she stood in the hallway, her heart pounding in her chest.
She had been such a fool. A stupid, deluded fool. But no more. It was time to recapture sensible Margaret Whitmore, the woman she had been when she’d first met Jacob at the Earl’s weekend party. That woman had taken no nonsense from anyone and that was what she would do now.
With more self-control than she’d thought she possessed, she pulled herself together, lifted her head high and strode into the drawing room, where the volume had risen substantially, along with the loud carousing of the Earl’s friends.
Finally, Margaret had emerged from the retiring room. What ladies did in there Jacob could not imagine but, whatever it was, it always seemed to take an inordinate amount of time.
He excused himself from Rupert Penvale, who was regaling him with ribald stories of all that he had missed over the last two months, and crossed the room to join his wife.
Once again, she had adopted that disapproving look he had seen so often before they’d married, but had not seen since they had started to share a bed. His suspicions were confirmed. She was starting to remember the man he was and the reasons why she had been so reluctant to marry him.
‘You were gone a long time,’ he said, lightly placing his hand on her arm, hoping she would once again smile at him in that loving manner that was so precious to him, but doubting he would ever see it again.
‘Yes, and I’m going to be gone for a lot longer.’
‘Longer?’
‘Yes, I forgot to mention earlier, but I’ve made arrangements to spend the evening with my friends, Primrose and Alice.’
‘This evening, but…’ he looked around the room at the wedding party, which had only just started ‘…but they are yet to serve the meal, have the toasts and so on. You must stay for that.’
‘I’m sure you will hardly notice I’m gone.’
‘But—’
Penvale chose that inopportune moment to stumble back towards them, and placed his arm around Jacob’s shoulder as if he needed someone to hold him up.
‘And no doubt your friends will be able to find ways to keep you amused for the rest of the night once this wedding party comes to an end,’ she said, sending Penvale a glacial look.
‘Too right we will. After this, there’s a party at—’
‘What’s going on?’ Jacob said, cutting through Penvale’s rambling and shrugging his arm off his shoulders. ‘Why the sudden desire to see your friends? Can’t that wait until tomorrow?’
‘No time like the present,’ she said with a laugh that sounded fake, then her expression became serious. ‘Look, while I was in the retiring room I had a moment to think.’
‘Always a danger, a woman thinking,’ Penvale said, unaware that he was unwanted.
Jacob took Margaret’s arm and led her to a secluded corner. ‘So, what were you thinking about?’ he asked quietly, fear mounting within him.
‘I was thinking about the promises we made each other when we married.’
Jacob waited, suspecting that what she was about to say would have nothing to do with to love and cherish and certainly not to obey.
‘We said we would allow each other to live our lives just as we had before we married, that nothing would change. Well, I think it is time we abided by that commitment. Tonight, I wish to visit my friends, and well, under the terms of our agreement, if that is what I want, you have no right to stop me.’ She lifted her head in a defiant manner, as if she expected him to disagree.
Jacob attempted to mirror her stance, with his head held high, his expression impassive. ‘I will not try to stop you, if that is what you wish to do.’
‘Just as you have every right to go out to whatever party your friends will be heading off to after this wedding is over and—’ she coughed lightly ‘—and behave in the manner you did before we were married, with whomever you choose.’
Had he heard correctly? Was she really giving him permission to take a lover?
‘Is that what you want?’ he asked, his voice calm, even though his body suddenly felt as if he’d just gone several gruelling rounds with a bare-knuckle boxer.
‘It is what we both want. What we both agreed to.’
He continued to stare, trying to take in her words.
It appeared he had been right. The moment she had seen him with his friends she had been reminded of the man he really was—a peacock, a man she could never respect.
Their time together had not been real. It had been a delightful fantasy where two people who were never destined to be together had shared a few moments of transitory pleasure.
Just as he had done with every other woman in his life.
‘Right, I’ll say good evening then,’ she said before he could respond. ‘I hope you have an enjoyable night.’ With that, she turned and walked out of the room without a backward glance.
If he wasn’t so painfully aware that she was right he would have chased after her, begged her not to go. But that would be the act of a selfish man, and if he’d changed in any way since he’d met Margaret, he hoped it was that he’d become a bit less selfish.
So he watched her leave, trying to ignore the way his heart was shattering inside his chest.