Chapter 19
19
I f there’d been any chance that Sam might forgive Hope for her unwitting part in her company’s plan to push their way into Magdalena, it disintegrated when Mimi gave her the news. I’m sorry, Hope, but Sam won’t be coming back to the Heart Sent. Long pause and a quiet, Not until you’re gone.
He didn’t want to see her again, and it didn’t matter how sorry she was or how much she regretted what had happened. It didn’t matter how much she cared about him, because Sam Harrington did not care about her. Once again, she was not good enough. Pain and sadness bubbled to the surface, spilled over as she told Mimi the truth about her past—all of it.
Mimi listened as Hope shared her childhood at the bed-and-breakfast that included baking and scrubbing floors and sleeping in a twin bed next to her mother’s. And what of her mother? Abigail Newland never believed her daughter was good enough just as she was and did not encourage words like unique or authentic.
More confessions fell out. “I’ve worked so hard to prove I’m better than that girl who scrubs sinks and toilets at the bed-and-breakfast, but I’m not. I’m worse because that girl had dreams and believed in her ability. I’m nothing more than a copycat from a Who’s Who Journal with fake smiles, designer clothing, and fancy degrees. I can’t even have a decent relationship and now the man who is like a father to me, has betrayed me.” Her voice turned hoarse. “Am I not worthy of being loved?” She tried not to cry, but the tears fell anyway, created great shoulder-shaking sobs that didn’t stop until Mimi pulled her into her arms and whispered soothing words.
“You are worthy, Hope. Don’t ever doubt that. The woman I see is courageous and honorable and so worthy of being loved. Do not give up.” And then Mimi shared her own story of heartache and tragedy from the husband who walked away shortly after their marriage to the son who died too soon from bad choices…to the daughter who ran away. The husband eventually returned and their commitment to one another remained steadfast until he drew his last breath. The daughter and Mimi had reconciled and after so many years apart, they continued to learn more about each other every time they spoke. But she would never get over the loss of her son, and that was why she’d pledged to help others deal with their losses and find lives worth living.
“If there’s a chance, I’m going to help people find their joy.” Her blue eyes shimmered, the tears fell. “I see my son in some of the men in this town, and I picture him at their age. That gives me peace. Life is hard and filled with pain and so much sadness. But there’s also hope and joy and so much love if we’re only open to it. When my son died, I wanted to die as well, but God had other plans.”
As she smiled through her tears, Hope understood the graciousness and the beauty of this woman she called friend. “Will you help me, Mimi? I don’t know where I’m meant to be…don’t know…”
“I’ll help you, dear, but you’re going to have to ask yourself some difficult questions and not shy away from the answers.”
“You mean how Sam isn’t coming back to the Heart Sent until I leave? I don’t have to think too hard about that to figure out why.”
Mimi shook her head and her red ball earrings bounced about. “He’s confused, hurt, and a tad angry.” Those blue eyes sparked with emotion. “Perhaps tad is a bit weak. I’d say he’s closer to furious, but considering what he’s been through, I’m guessing he’s more hurt and betrayed.”
Hope clasped her hands in her lap. “I did not betray him. I would never do that.”
A nod that sent the ball earrings swinging in the other direction. “I understand that, indeed I do, but all he can see right now is that he finally trusted a woman again and that trust put his father, me, and the town at risk.”
“Please tell me you know I had nothing to do with those offers.”
“I know that, but I’m not so sure that wasn’t the plan all along. Send you to Magdalena, send your ex-boyfriend to Reunion Gap, let you both conduct your own studies, and unearth the wonderful parts of each town.” Her gaze narrowed. “And then make a play to take over one of the bed-and-breakfasts. It makes sense from an economic standpoint, especially since your company has such an interest in both places.”
“But Martin said it was only for the purpose of selecting a model. Kent and I were supposed to identify the benefits and the drawbacks of the bed-and-breakfast in our respective locations. He never said anything about an acquisition.” She would not have agreed to such a plan.
“Didn’t you tell me you weren’t part of the initial conversation and didn’t know anything about it until your boss was ready to send you here?”
Hope nodded. She’d always thought Martin was an upstanding businessperson and an honorable man. What if she’d been wrong and he’d been manipulating her and their clients to achieve the bottom line he desired? He wouldn’t do that…would he? “Yes, but when I spoke with him, he denied having anything to do with the change in plans.”
“If he knew nothing about it, what does it say about whom he trusts? Either way, you have some difficult choices to make, ones that have nothing to do with Sam or me.”
Sam finished mowing his parents’ lawn, edged the flowerbeds, and pulled out two dead azalea bushes. Two new ones rested on the grass behind him and planting them was next on his list. After dinner, he’d head back out and do a few more tasks. Sunday might be a day off, but he had to stay busy. It was the only way to get through the mess that had become his life.
But the pain and rawness in his soul hadn’t let up, not since he’d broken it off with her. Of course, they’d both insisted whatever they shared did not connotate a relationship, but who were they kidding? Not themselves, that was for sure. Sam should have stuck with his vow to not get involved with her, keep it light, no strings. Yeah, that had been the plan. Too bad it was a massive fail.
His mother tried to comfort him, making chocolate chip cookies, banana nut muffins, even chicken noodle soup. As if food could turn his life into someone else’s, say a guy who had not once again chosen the wrong woman.
How pathetic was it that he was back in the house where he grew up, sleeping in his old bed? Pete Finnegan said he needed four more days to make Sam’s farmhouse “somewhat” livable. Sam hadn’t liked that response. I don’t need an updated shower and I don’t care if the water pressure’s low, or there’s no stove. I just need a place to stay that isn’t my old bedroom.
Pete had sighed, drilled him with a look. Been there, done that, don’t want to do it again. I’ll put a few extra guys on it and see if we can have the place ready in two days.
Appreciate it.
So, things aren’t looking good in the relationship area?
Nope.
Not going to forgive her anytime soon, are you?
Not anytime soon…if ever. How had he been so blindsided yet again by a woman? When would he learn…?
Okay then. Hang in there. Let me know if you want to grab a beer sometime.
Let me know if you want to grab a beer? Code for “Let me know if you want to talk”. Not anytime soon.
“Sam?” He glanced up from the fuchsia azalea bush he’d just planted, spotted his mother on the front porch. “Dinner’s almost ready. Do you want to come in and clean up?”
“Give me a minute.” He tossed his work gloves in the empty wheelbarrow and headed toward the garage, where he unlaced his work boots and opened the back door. “Smells good.”
His mother had a special seasoning for her baked chicken that even his father liked, and while the man confessed there was nothing quite like a fried chicken leg, the baked breast with the seasoning wasn’t half bad. And then there were the greens. Joyce Harrington loved her greens, insisted they kept a person healthy and regular. Whatever. The one deviation from the healthy menu was the mashed potatoes; creamy with bits of chives and a dollop of sour cream. His mother had given his father a choice of one serving of mashed potatoes— not two or three —or a double helping of sweet potato. Of course, Sam’s father chose mashed, but not without a scowl, and a few mumbled comments about the single helping.
Sam had been back two days and already missed the calm of the Heart Sent. It was exhausting to hear about meal prep and dietary restrictions. If he had to listen to this much longer, he’d start eating at Harry’s or O’Reilly’s Bar and Grille.
The one tiny bit of good that had come from all of this was that Sam and his father had begun talking again—really talking. It wasn’t fun, and it wasn’t easy, with his father’s You just can’t pick a good one, can you? Sure looked like Sam had horrible luck in that department and yet it was about more than luck. Maybe he really didn’t know what constituted a decent partner. There were people who were meant to be alone, and he might be one of them. Not what he’d thought when he’d envisioned his life, but there were worse situations, such as choosing a person who pretended you shared the same values and then proceeded to up end all of them. When that happened, you were left with nothing but doubt, uncertainty, and disillusionment.
Sam and his father had talked last night about how Sam could play a more vital role in the practice. Who am I kidding? You know what you’re doing, have the talent, the education, and the experience to build this practice and turn it into something I never thought possible. A rehab facility? A pet sanctuary? A training center? These are solid ideas, and buying Jerome Eldridge’s place with all that land? Brilliant. You have the acreage to develop these projects and if I hadn’t been so stubborn and determined to make you pay for your questionable choices, I would have admitted that.
It’s okay, Dad. I’d rather we move on.
His father’s eyes teared up, his voice turned hoarse. Can we do that, son? Can we really start over?
This was all Sam had wanted since the moment he stepped back into Magdalena. Yes, absolutely.
If Sam had not been so caught up with plans for the practice and how to expand the place, and if he hadn’t been trying so damn hard to forget about her , he might have noticed his father wasn’t himself. Sure, he was tired and preoccupied, and once or twice his face had gotten red, and his breathing sounded a little off. But he’d also carried a box from the truck and started in about “that woman” and the partner who’d tried to strong-arm him into selling the practice. Sam wished they could forget about that and concentrate on working together to expand the practice and Edgar Harrington’s legacy.
“Sam? Do you not like the chicken? I tried to keep it a bit healthier for your father and?—”
“Joyce, leave it alone. I know what I need to do and it doesn’t help when you keep harping on me.” Sam’s father sucked in a breath, scowled. “Can I just enjoy this meal, even if the chicken isn’t fried and the greens don’t have butter or bacon fat in them? Let me enjoy what’s here, especially the mashed potatoes, even if the serving size is no bigger than a hard-boiled egg.”
His mother pinched her lips like she did when she was irritated, but after this many years together, she knew when to stop. “Yes, enjoy your potatoes.”
No child wants to see his parents bickering, no matter how old the parent or the child was. Sam grabbed for something to talk about, tossed out the first thing that landed in his brain. “Harry Blacksworth said he wants to invite you both to dinner at Harry’s Folly.” This would get his father off the subject of heart-healthy food, and his mother loved Harry. “He’s still thankful for what you did with Cooper last week when he jumped out of the SUV and hurt his shoulder.”
Edgar Harrington’s expression relaxed, the scowl disappeared. “I told him to start using a ramp when he carts his dog around town. One mention of Cooper developing chronic shoulder issues, had Harry ordering one as soon as he left the clinic.” A sigh, a shake of his head. “Harry’s a good man, but one of these days, I’ll have to tell him the truth.”
“The truth?” Sam’s mother stared at her husband. “What truth is that?”
“Cooper’s a dog and not his son.”
That comment made Sam’s mother laugh. “Do not do that, Edgar. Harry won’t recover. He loves that dog and I wish more people would find ways to show kindness to animals… and their children.” She darted a glance at Sam, her eyes sparkling.
“I agree.” His father’s voice turned rough, his gaze settling on Sam. “Sometimes parents forget how special their children are, and they just need reminders every now and again.”