CHAPTER NINETEEN #2
Araceli gulped. “This is on me. I should have guessed that might happen, and now I’ve made you feel worse about yourself.”
“No, no, you haven’t. I’m selfish for not considering how you might feel.”
Araceli pushed her hair out of her face and sighed. “As you know, I used to flirt with the Blood Duchess. It was a good way to control her. Duchess Hedri wasn’t interested in women, but she liked people to be in love with her. It fed her ego. She trusted me because she thought I loved her.”
“That must have been difficult.”
“Honestly, I did find her body objectively attractive.”
“I had some idea about that.”
Araceli sagged against the wall. “That’s why I thought I could do this with you, without making an ass of myself.”
“You’re not an ass.”
“I even thought it would be nice to have the haughty duchess’s body writhing under me and at my mercy.”
“That’s a little ass-like.” The words popped out before I could stop them. What was I thinking, hitting poor Araceli at her lowest point? I froze, mortified. “I’m sorry for saying that!”
Araceli threw back her head and laughed until her air ran out. She wiped a tear from her eye. “When you have that look on your face, you’re so different from the Blood Duchess, it’s miraculous. When I was touching you, I completely forgot who you were.”
“That’s nice to hear.” I swallowed. “I was a little nervous that you might only want the duchess’s body, not me.”
“That’s not true at all. I never once thought about touching the real duchess like that.
I only wanted it because of you.” Araceli waved at me to come closer again.
Slowly, tentatively, I sat down on the bed next to her.
She took my hand. “We really should have talked first. I could have told you there was a chance I might freak out, so you wouldn’t be caught off guard. I was trying to push my way through.”
“You didn’t have to do that.” I felt hurt that she would think she couldn’t talk to me and nervous I’d somehow caused it. “I’m sorry if I pressured you.”
“You didn’t!” She nearly leapt up with the force of the words.
“Please don’t blame yourself. I’ve always lived by a motto of ‘seize the moment.’ An assassin’s life can be short.
I thought we might not have another opportunity and took a chance.
I honestly don’t regret anything we did, only that I might have hurt your feelings. ”
“Hey, you don’t need to worry about me. It went wrong when I tried to touch you back, right?”
Glumly, Araceli nodded. “I didn’t feel scared when I was the one touching you.”
I hung my head. “I really am sorry.”
She squeezed my hand. “For the last time, you have nothing to apologize for. I was encouraging you. I was enjoying it, until I saw your face—the duchess’s face—and suddenly I forgot who was touching me.”
“We could try again, when I get my body back. If you still want to then.” I glanced at her sideways.
Araceli leaned against me. “Bora, if I find you devastatingly attractive in the body of my worst enemy, I guarantee I will like you no matter what your real body looks like. It’s the person you are inside that I’m attracted to.”
When she put it like that, it made me feel much better. For the first time, I was able to relax against her.
“I’d still be willing to try again with you like this. Honestly, if you got a haircut, it might make a big difference.”
“I could get a tattoo,” I half joked. The notion was intriguing, after seeing how good tattoos looked on Araceli.
My mother would freak out, but I wanted to be past the point of caring about that.
Looking at Araceli’s messy locks, I longed to brush back her hair but feared taking the initiative to touch her.
“Seriously, you don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I’ll get my real body back, then this won’t be a problem. ”
Leaning in, Araceli touched our foreheads together. “I’m grateful that you’re willing to give me another chance.”
“After the way you rocked my world? I’d beg you for it,” I insisted.
“That would make you look nothing like the duchess.” Araceli smiled and held out her arms. “Want to cuddle?”
I was quick to take her up on that offer. We fell asleep together, intertwined.
A high-pitched voice cried, “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraceli! Where are you?”
I rolled over and tried to put my head under my pillow. But someone else was already using it. A beautiful face with waves of red hair. This must be what sailors felt like, glimpsing a mermaid rising out of the waves. I smiled.
“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri!”
Groaning, I sat up. My doorknob rattled. I had no time to stop it from opening. All I could do was drag my sheet up over my naked chest.
Queen Antonia bounded into the room. “There you are!”
“Huh?” Next to me, Araceli finally stirred.
As she sat up, I hastily tugged up the sheet to make sure it covered both of us.
Antonia put her hands on her hips. “You promised to take me out for a walk this morning.”
“Yes, I did,” Araceli admitted. “I thought I still had time.” Her gaze fell on the rays of sunlight coming through the window. “I’m sorry. I’ll get dressed as quickly as I can, then come over. In the future, you need to knock before entering people’s bedrooms.”
“Sorry.” Antonia pouted. “You weren’t in your room.”
“Why would you look for Araceli in my bedroom?” I asked, holding the sheet close.
“Because I’m not stupid.” With a withering glare, Antonia strode out.
As soon as the door closed, I groaned and collapsed backward onto my bed. “I feel responsible for traumatizing a child.”
“She’s not traumatized.” Araceli pecked my lips. “I watched my whole family die; that was trauma. Children are robust—and should know better than to burst into bedrooms. I’ll teach her not to do that before she walks in on something more explicit.” She picked up her clothes off the floor.
I cleared my throat. Unfortunately, this made Araceli turn around to look at me before I’d thought of what I wanted to say.
I knew I ought to say something. I couldn’t just let the bod that had rocked my world stroll off without a single word.
My voice came out rather small as I admitted, “I had a great time last night. Um, in spite of how it ended.”
“Me too.” Araceli smiled. Her hand reached out to brush a lock of hair off my face.
“And as far as I’m concerned, ending on cuddling was a great note.
Next time, I’m not going to rush into anything physical without getting a handle on my thoughts.
However, I’ll cuddle you some more tonight if you want. ”
“If? Of course I want to!” Whoops, had I said that last part out loud?
Judging from the smirk on Araceli’s face, I had.
I flushed. “We can talk after you get back from your walk. Maybe over a private dinner tonight.” That would give me some time to compose my mind from the puddle it had melted into.
“I’d love that.” Araceli gave me another smoldering smile, then regrettably started covering up that sexy body with clothes.
Later that day, I sat at my desk going over all the palace financials, looking for errors or signs of embezzlement.
I lacked the skills to help with official paperwork.
I knew it and acknowledged it. But I still wanted to do something more to help my sister than just stamp whatever she gave me with the royal seal.
It was hard, boring work. My bedroom desk was a bit too small for me.
The thin seat cushion was insignificant for sitting for a long period of time.
As I rubbed my aching forehead, I reminded myself that I’d asked for this.
Ysabel had been content to let me spend the day lazing and eating chocolate. But no, I wanted to be useful.
I had to admit, I’d been hoping to help more with getting my body back.
That goal had just taken on a new urgency.
However, we’d yet to hear from Ma’qas. Ysabel said she was speaking to her own contacts, but apparently most of them only trusted her, so I couldn’t help with the search.
So far my sister’s information network in Arahasnor had come up worryingly blank.
It was looking more likely the duchess had left the kingdom the longer we couldn’t find her.
What if the Blood Duchess had gotten mugged on the road, died, and been buried in a shallow grave? I might never find out. Then what would I do?
A knock interrupted my fretting. “I knocked this time!” Antonia said unnecessarily.
“Yes, you did, thank you. Is Araceli with you? You may come in.”
Antonia bounded into the room. “No, but I came to talk to you about Araceli.” Her lower lip jutted out. “I’m here to threaten you about what will happen if you ever hurt my Ari.” She made a tiny fist.
“Oh, really?” I swiveled in my chair to face the child.
Antonia bit her lip. “I know I’m not very scary, but I’m the only one who Araceli has got.”
“No, no, I think it’s very sweet of you.” I tried to keep a straight face.
Antonia scuffed the carpet with her shoe. “It’s not fair that your sister, her husband, and Countess Donya all threatened my Ari, but no one has threatened you yet.”
“My sister, too? That dinner with Kaine wasn’t bad enough?” I flushed with mortification. We would be having words later.
“Araceli said that your sister is way scarier than the dark lord, but she sounded impressed about it.”
“I could have told the world that,” I muttered. The Conclave of Kings had never gotten between Ysabel and the last cookie.
“Araceli didn’t seem mad,” Antonia reassured me. “She likes your sister. But someone’s gotta threaten you too in order for it to be fair.”
“I completely understand.” I folded my hands. “Lay it on me.”
Antonia placed her hands behind her back and cleared her throat. “Araceli has been like a parent to me. The first person who cared about the mean duchess hitting me, and she even promised to kill the duchess for me. She’s still working on that one, but it’s the thought that counts.”