CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE #3
“Yes.” Ari bit his lip. “I’m going to protect you. If this all goes wrong, then we’ll run away from Arahasnor. You, me, and Antonia. I promised her that I’d take her, too, rather than leave her with the duchess again.”
“Thank you.” I held out my hand and Ari accepted it. I squeezed. After a moment, I said, “I have an important question for you. Please answer honestly. Don’t worry about sparing my feelings. Would you really still like me if I was in my original body?”
“Yes, absolutely,” Ari said. “I like you. Honestly, it would have been easier for me if you’d been in your original body from the beginning, instead of looking like the woman I hated for so long. I would have liked you even sooner, if not for that. Now, I like you no matter which body you have.”
I stared off into the distance. That was the answer I’d wanted to hear. I could run away with Ari and Antonia if I could get my real body back.
Except would it really be that easy? As long as Antonia was the key to the duchess’s regency, she’d always be hunted. I risked causing global turmoil. There might even be a war. How many lives would be lost because of my selfishness?
It terrified me to think of staying as Duchess Hedri.
Up until now, no matter what outrageous thing I’d done, I’d been able to tell myself that it was the Blood Duchess, not me.
I’d never planned to take responsibility.
If I went through with this, then I’d be stuck with every single insane thing I’d done for the rest of my life.
My throat tightened. My heart raced. It became difficult to breathe.
“Bora?” Ari patted me on the back. “Are you all right?”
I swallowed hard. It took me two tries to speak. “What if I can’t get my real body back?”
“Then I’ll learn to love this one.” Ari took my hands. “I meant what I told you before. I’m willing to keep trying. I rushed it too much, forcing myself before I was ready. With time, I’m sure I can accept your current body.”
These were the first words to make me smile since the bad news.
“I really like you. I mean it. Antonia said something that made me realize you thought that I liked Countess Donya. I used to have a crush on her, it’s true.
She was the cool hero who I admired. But that was only an idle, unattainable dream.
I never seriously fell for her. You’re the only one I can picture spending the rest of my life with. ”
“Bora …” Ari whispered. He seemed unable to speak. He took both of my hands in his.
“I’m crazy about you. I want to stay with you forever. And I want to protect you, too. That’s why I’ve decided to accept this trial. I’ll pretend to be the Blood Duchess for the rest of my life.”
Ari paled. “You don’t have to do that. It’s too much to ask from you. We can still run away.”
“I don’t have to, but I’m offering it anyway.” I stared straight into his eyes. “Just promise me one thing. Please never forget who I really am. Please always call me Bora. I need you to see my real self, even if I have to pretend for the rest of my life.” My voice caught.
Ari pulled me into a hug. “I will. I promise. Bora, Bora, Bora,” he whispered, chanting my name over and over again, like a prayer. “I’ll keep you safe.” His hand touched my neck with his diamond ring, seeking out skin contact. “I release you from your life-oath.”
The chains briefly manifested around my heart, then dissipated. I was free. I gasped, clutching the left side of my chest.
“It doesn’t seem likely that we’ll meet the deadline, but I wanted to be certain anyway. I’ve wished for a long time that I treated you better when we first met.”
“Let me do it, too.” I took Ari’s hand, touching the diamond ring. “I release you from your life-oath.”
“Appreciated, but unnecessary.” He kissed my hand. “I haven’t been sticking around for the oath for a while now.”
I flushed.
“One last thing.” He took off another ring and slid it onto my finger.
“This has a shielding power. It can create a bubble around you. Physical objects will bounce off. Nearly no magic is strong enough to enter or exit the bubble. Oh, except this ring.” He pointed to another emerald one on his right middle finger.
“This ring can create a blade that cracks the bubble. I’m keeping this one, since I need to be able to reach you if you fall unconscious. ”
I nodded. “Makes sense. Are you sure you want to give up such a valuable ring to me?”
“You might need it more than me,” Ari said.
I winced, struggling to argue with that one.
“You can turn the ring on and off with a thought. You need to be touching it for it to work. Give it a try.”
I pictured a bubble. A glowing golden sphere appeared around me. “Whoa.” I looked at Ari. “You’re inside the bubble.”
“Because I was standing next to you when you activated it. You can fit two people inside. It’s useful if you want to protect someone, but if you’re not careful, you could also trap an enemy inside with you.”
“I’ll remember. Thank you.” I let the bubble drop.
“I feel much better now.” A little better, at least. Physical attacks didn’t scare me nearly as much as being stuck as the Blood Duchess for the rest of my life.
I didn’t want to accept the consequences for everything I’d done while running around pretending to be her.
I definitely didn’t want responsibility for all the crimes she’d committed before we’d even met. Also, I wanted my own body back.
But I’d made my resolve to sacrifice myself for my shitty, impoverished, dragon-rejected country and the people inside it who I cared about.
Ysabel burst into my office, her hair wild around her face. “I have a plan. If we fake the little queen’s death, we should be able to take her out of the country and avoid a war. As for saving Arahasnor … I’m still working on that one.”
I turned around. I wore the duchess’s signature red dress and all her jewelry. “You don’t need to worry about it. I’ve decided to stay as the Blood Duchess.”
Ysabel took in my serious expression. Her face collapsed. “Bora …”
“You can’t talk me out of this. I didn’t make the decision because of anything you said.
Don’t blame yourself. I have my own reasons.
I have something that I have to protect, even if it means sacrificing my body and my identity.
You can’t change my mind, big sister.” I smiled, an expression tinged with melancholy.
“Time to become the villainess I’ve been pretending to be. ”