Chapter 33
Arax
For the better part of a year, I’d despised laying my head down to sleep.
The anxiety would manifest as soon as the sun disappeared under the horizon, and it would distend as the minutes crept by, turning into hours.
My eyes would grow tired with the weight of apprehension until weariness triumphed over my will.
I’d be awake at the first sign of light, the cycle would break, and I’d temporarily be free of the shackles of night.
The pen shook in my hand, turning my already-terrible handwriting into a warped, illegible scrawl.
I was sitting cross-legged with the journal in my lap. My other hand held my phone. No reception had rendered it a glorified flashlight, but it was my only means to see as I attempted an entry in the near pitch-black hour before dawn.
I didn’t want to leave the warmth of the bed. Childhood beliefs of monsters underneath it were very much my reality without the morning sun to vanquish them and make them skitter away. But I had to. I needed to get up and watch the sunrise.
My slippered feet made no noise or echo on the marbled floors, which made it more disconcerting to walk through the vast hallways at such a dark hour.
I hurried along to the one room in the castle I could easily find—the kitchen—hoping I could gather the means to brew a pot of coffee.
It was to my great joy I found one already prepared, and I took my weapons—my steaming cup and my journal—to the deck, where I hoped the monsters had not followed.
I sipped my drink and waited patiently for the mountaintops to allow the first rays to flow over them.
I was looking forward to tonight, and I smiled into the cup and set it on the railing, suddenly feeling warmer.
Vallon’s words resurfaced, as did the memories of the night before.
What would occur in the coming days, I wondered.
And would it be so that perhaps I’d be spending the remainder of my vacation getting to know this strange man, instead of going back to the campsite?
I could be happy here. And not just for the next few weeks. The realization was less startling and more thrilling than I might have imagined.
Danny would kill me but applaud my impulsivity while beating me to death.
It was the sound of movement down below that pulled me away from thoughts of the future. With the canopy being so thick, I couldn’t see much, but muffled noises, punctuated with shouts that were delivered like commands, made me think something was happening. I leaned over to get a better look.
Rumbles, strong and rolling, caused a flock of birds to go airborne. Whatever was happening was happening quickly and I struggled to see through the dense foliage. I squinted, leaning further, but aside from sounds that were fading as abruptly as they’d started, I was out of luck,
“There you are.”
I squealed in surprise. Konstantine had appeared in the cobalt-blue shadows, and his voice had caused me to spin wildly, my hand abruptly knocking my coffee cup aside.
He was next to me in an instant, and quicker than I could comprehend, the cup was back on the railing, not a drop wasted.
“You startled me,” I said sheepishly at my own clumsiness.
“Seems to track,” he replied, grinning at me. “How are you?”
“Fine, you?”
His shrewd eyes scanned my face. He’d caught me shivering in just pajamas, my phone and pen still in hand. They were signs of a disturbed individual, but nevertheless, how could he have known?
I made haste in sliding the journal behind my back and was rewarded with a knowing grin.
“I won’t pry,” he said to assure me, and with a sigh, I slid it toward him.
“Diarrhea of Dreams?” He smirked and raised an eyebrow at my play on words. “Are you sure of your spelling, Arax?”
I nodded. “It’s where I dump all the shit that gets backed up in my head.”
“May I?”
I gave him the go-ahead, and he opened it, not at the beginning but at the back cover, where the lone, wilted jasmine blossom lay safely pressed.
He ran his fingers carefully over the petals, as I myself had so often done, and looked questioningly at me. A mix of emotions fought for dominance on his face, yet he expressed none.
“It reminded me of you,” I whispered, explaining without being asked. “Not that I could forget.”
His jaw was stiff, formed of marble and uncertainty. “Did you want to forget?”
“No, Konstantine, I did not.”
He set the journal down and threaded his hands into my hair.
His lips were close—so close to mine. The warmth of his arms took the place of the cold, and even from the deck, I heard the monsters scurry into their hiding places to wait out the day, too scared of the man who had brought the light with him.
“Now,” he said. “Tell me what made you so upset.”
“Why are you so sure I’m upset?” I asked. It wasn’t the first time he’d known, either. Working late. A likely story, I scoffed internally, thinking of that fateful morning of tea and honey. He’d come to my rescue then too.
“Do you always run out half-naked to start your day?” he asked, pulling my hair gently.
“As a matter of fact, I do,” I snootily replied, “and I don’t appreciate your judgment, Konstantine.”
He sighed wearily at my obstinacy, and I burst out laughing and slipped closer to him.
“I’m fine, really.” I tried to be convincing and laid my hands on his biceps. “It was just a bad dream.”
He stubbornly picked up the journal again and made a point of flipping through the pages, showing me that so many entries proved otherwise. Seeing how Konstantine’s brows drew closer together the more he read, I was thankful he’d been spared the last entry, which was still unwritten.
The dreams so far had been vague and abstruse, their subjects faceless and their stories unfinished.
For the last few months, my mind had been more at ease about my future, and I’d accepted my dreams as a nightly annoyance, rather than night terrors waking me with the sounds of my own screaming.
I had become comfortable with the uncomfortable until two nights ago, when they had decided it was time for a change and had drawn me out of my complacency.
Feeling torn skin and prickled flesh under my feet as I climbed out of the pit was a recently added chapter in their sordid tale.
It would force me out of bed, weak and trembling, but it had been different today.
My feet couldn’t move. My body had been paralyzed both while asleep and awake.
Among the faces, burned beyond recognition, a figure had lain, her duo-chromed eyes wide open, dead and unseeing.
What was left of its hair clung in shreds of pure driven snow to a charred and tender scalp, and the scream of an innocent remained frozen on her face.
I had stared at Eleni, but her lifeless eyes could not stare back.
The monster responsible for her demise was none other than my own mind.
It sat banished to the deep cavern of my subconscious, its tail curled around its scales, smoke billowing from its snout as it waited…
waited for the cover of night to foil my dreams and terrorize those unfortunate enough to enter the dystopian arena of my thoughts. Those like Eleni.
“Arax?” Konstantine took my face in his hands. “Where’d you go?”
I shook my head back at him. “Nowhere, still here.”
He studied me much too intensely, and I grew uncomfortable under the scrutiny, but Konstantine, being ever the observant prince, noticed and shifted the conversation to himself.
“I have bad news, I’m afraid,” he said, not letting go of me. “Something urgent needs my attention.”
“So no date?”
“Not tonight,” he replied and stared into my eyes, then down at my lips. He took a breath, debating. I was debating too… if I should ease myself into the inches that separated us. I wanted that kiss. But not the first as a good-bye.
He must have been on the same page. A finger lightly touched by bottom lip. “Save these for me,” he said softly.
I nodded, trying hard to hide my disappointment and the odd fear that was creeping into my bones.
Urgent.
Needed his attention.
“Are you going to be gone long?” I asked.
“Just a few days. Jason, Cyrus, and Drake are coming with me. Vallon and Penelope will be in charge while I’m away.”
I didn’t expect him to divulge any extra information about where he was going or why, so I stayed quiet, watching the sunrise and enjoying the comfort of his presence while I had it.
He drank the rest of my coffee, then with another tug on my lip, he told me he had to go.
“Safe travels,” I wished him softly and watched him walk away.