Chapter 35
Arax
Itried not to let my disappointment show.
The possibility of tears was imminent any time there was a lull in conversation. I had gotten the news thirdhand from Penelope, who had gotten it from Drake that afternoon. Their trip had been extended indefinitely.
“It was a lot more complicated than they had initially thought, Rox,” she’d said regretfully.
No one would tell me what had happened to make it more complicated. I also knew, just as before, that I had no right to ask. I was a visitor, a guest, and from the general lack of interaction with anyone outside of Konstantine’s friend group, these people didn’t really do visitors or guests.
Vallon was trying to be cheerful, coming by my room to encourage me not to waste a birthday—a detail I hadn’t bothered to mention to anyone––and what had turned into my last night with them.
She also insisted we go out, telling me she and Penelope had planned an evening with just us girls.
I’d agreed, trying my best not to be a killjoy going the motions of dressing prettily and curling my hair, which after many attempts still looked as despondently flat as I felt.
Penelope wandered my room, more of a chatterbox now than she had been throughout my stay. She talked excitedly about grabbing a fancy dinner, then drinks and dancing. She sold the fun of it well, but every time she sat, her leg would bounce
“Maybe we should just stay in,” I said, wincing at all the forced merriment. “We could watch a movie, eat take-out?”
“You’re turning twenty-seven, not eighty-seven,” Penelope snapped. “I’m not going to let my buzzkill of a brother ruin this for you.”
Her brother. Hearing him be mentioned instantly knotted up my stomach. Besides that message, I had heard nothing from him.
It was my fault, for having my expectations based on nothing but a few close dances and a couple of intense moments of eye contact.
Vallon was right. The only way to make these last hours better was a night out—with plenty of mind-numbing liquor.
As much as they had tried, the girls’ faked enthusiasm could only lift my spirits so much.
“Where to next?” I asked them when the car pulled up, hoping the answer was back to the castle.
We weren’t inside the borders of Konstantine’s “territory” anymore. Without her brother around, Penelope was using the opportunity to get out a bit, my birthday being the perfect excuse.
“Last spot of the night,” Vallon told me, “and my favorite. It’s a total dive, but it’s the best place ever. You’ll see.”
Secretly, I loved dive bars. I’d played many gigs in dark, smoke-filled establishments, and I had spent the better part of my post-college years as a bartender—and also later when we moved, waiting for attendance at my music school to pick up.
The place was cavelike but opened up to a huge, dimly lit space with pool tables, leather sofas, and crumbling brick walls reminiscent of a speakeasy. The music was blasting a mixed playlist. It was packed and almost everyone was dancing.
“Drinks, then dance floor!” Vallon shouted over the music. I nodded at her, preoccupied with not tripping over a mess of legs and limbs.
We snaked our way through the groups of people, and amid the sea of bodies, I locked eyes with a figure just as his stare shot up.
He looked directly at me, his eyes slightly narrowing.
He was tall with medium-olive skin, complemented by the darkness of his black hair, which was shorn on the sides.
The top was slicked back and pulled into a long ponytail that disappeared behind him.
He had high cheekbones and a strong, prominent nose together with a strong brow, which gave his handsome face an underlying element of danger.
It was his eyes that captivated me the most. They were mesmerizing.
They were the deepest, warmest shade of brown, rich and saturated, and all around his pupils, at center of his irises, were specks of burnt gold.
I had never seen eyes like these, eyes which held the deep glowing embers of a dying fire.
I leered at a stranger in the middle of the bar.
The amount I had already had to drink throughout the night wasn’t making things better.
The odd thing was that this stallion of a man was doing the same to me, taking inventory…
taking stock. He licked his lips lightly as he took notice of my bare legs and shoulders in my red romper—Penelope’s choice.
His gaze rested just a little longer on my forearms, my tattoos, before it traveled to my face.
Like a reflex, I bit my lip, to which he responded with a dashing smile.
It caused me to almost lose my balance, the near fall consequently helping to restore my sense of reason.
I lowered my gaze and hurried to keep up with Vallon and Penelope before they realized my momentary distraction, but I still turned around to look back at the handsome stranger once I passed him.
The smile remained on his face as his eyes followed me.
I shook my head at my own stupidity. If Danny were here, he’d call me some choice words and tell me to behave myself.
He’d love Konstantine. He’d love all of them.
As soon as we got our drinks, Vallon pulled Penelope and me to the dance floor. We danced all night until I was so hot and sweaty, I became dehydrated.
“Water!” I yelled to the girls and turned to go to the bar.
It was wall-to-wall people on the dance floor, and while walking, I had to swerve to dodge an elbow and bumped hard into something or someone, nearly falling.
Strong arms wrapped around my waist and set me upright, and I saw the blazing eyes from earlier looking at me remorsefully.
“My apologies, beautiful,” he said in my ear, his hands still around me.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you,” I replied.
“Leaving already?” he asked with a raise of his eyebrows.
“Just heading to the bar. I need water.” My stomach was beginning to heave a little, and my head felt heavy. Water was imperative.
He let go of my waist. “After you.” He motioned forward, then followed closely. “Let me get you a drink,” he offered once we made it to the bar.
“No, really. I’m good. I’ve had enough for one night,” I said politely. Another drink was the last thing I wanted. My throat was tightening up at the thought.
He signaled the bartender, who brought me a water.
I guzzled it down and smiled. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, flashing me a confident grin. “All of my friends call me Cam.”
I dabbed my mouth with a napkin. “And what do random women you meet at the club call you?”
“Hopefully the same.” He smiled.
“I see. Well, I’m Arax.”
“Arax.” He let my name slide off of his tongue, tasting it like it was a delectable morsel. He had a minor accent that I couldn’t quite place. “Such a beautiful name for a gorgeous woman.”
I laughed somewhat uncomfortably and looked around, hoping to see Penelope or Vallon. Cam’s eyes followed my movements.
“I’m sorry. Did I overstep?” he asked. “Is there a boyfriend or a husband I need to watch out for?”
I shook my head. “Not really.” A small fib, to be so vague. There was no one.
“Not really?” he asked.
“I’m seeing someone,” I replied, elaborating on the lie.
Cam nodded in acknowledgment. “He’s a very lucky man.”
“Thank you, I’ll let him know.” I laughed. “It was nice meeting you, Cam, but I better get back to my friends."
“It was my pleasure, Arax,” he said and held out his hand.
I took it, but nausea washed over me, and my mind went blank.
I felt my head fall back as a fog took over, shrouding me in silence and darkness.
The jarring sensation was almost instantly replaced with one of lightness.
I was floating in the deepest depths of the ocean, sinking slowly, only to be pulled back upward with the mildest of currents.
I ebbed and flowed for an indeterminate amount of time. Such a concept had lost all meaning. It wasn’t unpleasant. The only word I could think of for it was… peculiar. Then, as fast as it had taken me under, the black faded, and I was being pulled up steadily, back to the surface.
“Rax… Arax…” Cam’s voice traveled to me at first from a distance, then came closer as my wits regrouped. The club reformed in front of me… the dizzying ataxia of lights and moving shapes, music and the smell of sweat and perfume and alcohol, so much alcohol.
“Oh, shit,” I said with unsteady breaths and equally unsteady legs.
He held me lightly by the small of my back, and the bartender set another glass of water in front of me.
Cam brought it to my lips. “Sip slowly,” he instructed and watched me take a few gulps. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “What happened to you, beautiful?”
“I… Did I black out?” I asked.
“I think you did.” He laughed softly. “Lightweight?”
“It’s been a while,” I admitted. I finished gulping down the water and noticed his hand had stayed where it was. “It might be a sign to call it a night,” I said, attempting to slide away without being obvious. “I really should find my friends.”
He took the hint and lowered his arm from my back and let it hang by his side. “Yes, of course. Shall I help you with that?”
“No, I’ll be all right. Thank you.”
When he smiled, that cunning quality to him was ever so apparent. “It was more than nice meeting you, beautiful.” He took my hand and brought it to his lips. “Don’t forget to tell him how lucky he is,” he said with a wink and walked away, slipping into the faceless crowd.
I walked as fast as I could in search of Penelope and Vallon.
When I couldn’t find them right away, I went to use the restroom.
I looked at myself in the mirror while I was washing up and saw handprints all over me.
On my arms, my waist… everywhere Cam had touched me.
They were drawn from my imagination and my guilt.
I frantically grabbed an armful of paper towels, soaking them with soap and water and scrubbed.
I wanted his imprint off. It didn’t feel right, having had another man’s touch anywhere on my body.
My hands that he had kissed I scrubbed extra vigorously.
Even my romper received a wipe down. I wasn’t satisfied until I was more than a little wet and dried myself off, my whore’s bath finished, as Penelope and Vallon came in.
“There you are!” Vallon said with relief. She looked worried. “Where did you go?”
“Sorry, I needed water and then I started to feel nauseated. I almost threw up. I’ve been in here for a minute,” I lied.
I couldn’t tell them what had happened. It could have been explained away, by saying I had too much to drink, but that logic couldn’t negate the guilt I had.
“Well, I’m beat,” Penelope said with a little yawn. “If you’re ready to call it a night, Rox, we can head home.”
I nodded.
Pen put her arm around me and gave me a sad look. “Damn, I’ll miss you.”
I hugged her back, too empty to reply.
The ride home was quiet, which I appreciated.
Penelope passed out on my shoulder, and Vallon fell asleep with her head in my lap.
I snuggled against them and took a deep breath.
I let my mind go quiet and looked from one to the other.
Though I was still a little unsure of what had happened tonight, one thing I knew for certain was that Penelope and Vallon had offered their friendship freely, and life was unfair to separate us like this.
Not life.
Konstantine was unfair.
We stumbled to our rooms, mumbling our good-nights.
A more-thorough scouring of my body and conscience later, I fell into bed, hoping tonight would be a night of peaceful, dreamless sleep—but knowing it was just wishful thinking if I got any sleep at all.