Chapter 6
Lessia
She couldn’t do anything other than roll her eyes, a humorless laugh huffing out of her that had Merrick stiffen, shifting the threadbare couch beneath them.
Of course it was killing them. She’d felt it back there—that wasn’t a normal tiredness, and it wasn’t a normal nosebleed. It was as if her soul itself tried to detach, fighting to leave the confined space that was her body.
The laughter continued to pour out of Lessia, and when every pair of eyes in the room landed on her, the worry in them as clear as the hard drops smattering against the windows, she knew they thought she’d lost her mind.
Only Merrick shook his head, and when she caught the guilt hardening his beautiful face, she captured it between her hands, the chuckles drifting away with every moment his darkness held on to her.
“This wasn’t your fault.” Lessia bore her eyes into his until his features softened. “I would have been dead if you didn’t do what you did.” Her gaze sharpened when he continued to shake his head. “I would have been dead, Merrick, and… I didn’t want to die.”
Finally, his face stopped moving, and while his grip on her tightened, that guilt faded with every second she let him feel that she truly meant what she said.
She had felt peace on that island with Solana, but there had been something within her… something that she wasn’t ready to let go.
A fight she wasn’t ready to lose.
Not yet. Perhaps not for a long, long time.
Perhaps not ever.
Her eyes left Merrick’s, seeking out Raine’s hazel ones.
Guilt simmered in them as well, and a sharp pain jabbed into her chest when they flicked to her sister, then back to Lessia.
She hadn’t yet spoken to him about what had happened when she died.
There had been opportunities, but… how did you tell someone that their mate knew he was about to move on, and that she supported it?
How did you tell them it wasn’t their time?
Especially when the one he was about to move on with was her own sister?
Releasing a long breath, Lessia made up her mind. Something had touched her consciousness the past few days, something that Solana had said, ringing in her thoughts whenever she was awake or asleep.
Lessia swept her gaze around the room, finding worry and fear in every face that stared back at her, before capturing Raine’s eyes again.
“I don’t want to die now either,” she admitted quietly, although it still seemed too loud for the silent room.
“But when I did… I met someone. I… I spoke to someone.” Lessia swallowed, and Raine’s brows drew together, confusion mingling with the shame in his face when Lessia continued addressing him.
“I somehow ended up back on my family island, but it wasn’t my parents who met me there. I… I found Solana instead.”
Merrick’s unmoving chest was the only thing betraying his shock, and she leaned back into it, hoping he’d see it as the apology she’d intended.
She hadn’t been able to speak to anyone about what had happened—for some reason, the moment had been significant, even if it was so short, and she’d needed the time to process it herself.
Raine’s eyes were glued to hers when she continued. “I… I didn’t understand why she was there and not my parents. But I’m wondering… She told me something that stuck with me. She told me that for some of us, something bigger is planned. Somehow… I think that goes for all of us in this room. And…”
Lessia’s eyes moved back to Merrick. “She told me that you were about to break every rule the gods ever put in place. And the way she said it… it sounded like…” She swallowed.
“Like you were always meant to do that. I didn’t think too much of it at the time, but after seeing those souls, after feeling the power in my veins… ”
It was so quiet it seemed like even the storm didn’t dare interrupt, and Lessia could see a glimmer of understanding shining in Pellie’s green and Soria’s blue eyes.
“What if killing the king wasn’t the purpose of my life? What if… what if there is something else that I am—that we are—meant to do?” Lessia wasn’t sure if she made any sense, but the thought had played on her mind the entire time they traveled to Korina.
If the only reason for her being born was killing the king… why had she gotten to come back? And with new powers? It didn’t make sense.
“A balance,” Soria mused. “What if you came back to balance out something other than the king? We were never told what the veiled queens’ reasons for existence were.”
“I don’t think our people know,” Pellie added. “I think… it’s the nature of magic. Something somewhere is too strong, and you are needed to counter it.”
“Could it be the Oakgards’ Fae?” Kerym broke in. “Their magic works differently from ours.”
“But they’re just Fae,” Merrick said quietly, his hands running up and down Lessia’s back. “They can tap into a more powerful source, yes. But they can be killed all the same, and if we can get our people to collaborate… we can win. Why would Lessia need all these souls to counter it?”
Lessia’s heart thumped in the moments that followed, everyone seemingly falling deep into thought as a thick silence layered across the dusty sitting room, only the flames from the fireplace crackling in it.
She’d had these strange thoughts the past week, but today… after using that ancient, strange source of power within her? She’d felt it more strongly—that there was something she needed to understand. Something she was missing.
“I think we need to ask them,” she stated when no one spoke.
Her eyes found Frelina’s, and her sister squared her shoulders, shooting Lessia a quick nod of agreement when Ardow and Kerym mumbled something about the danger and even Merrick tensed so hard his muscles played against her back.
“Not at this exact moment,” Lessia continued.
“I… we need rest, and I promised to visit with Ydren, but I need to find out as much as I can. We need to gather as much information as possible. It’s…
Solana didn’t say it was only me. I think somehow…
everyone in this room is in the right place right now. I… can feel it.”
Merrick’s slow exhale blew through her hair, and she could tell he wanted to speak to her—needed to speak to her, or perhaps just needed her—so she got to her feet when no one said anything else.
But before she spoke to Merrick… there was someone else she needed to talk to first.
“Raine?” Lessia asked, her voice lowering. The Fae appeared to be in shock. “Can I speak to you outside?”
The storm might still be raging, but this conversation would be uncomfortable enough that the rain and wind might be a blessing.
Raine’s eyes were still unfocused as he rose, and she wondered for a second whether she’d need to steer him, but thankfully, the Fae was able to take the few steps to the door, and when she opened it, he passed through it without a word.
Casting a quick look over her shoulder, colliding with Merrick’s dark eyes, she knew he understood to give her a few minutes before he followed, and she smiled weakly before falling into step behind Raine, walking right into the harsh gusts, the salt and smoke pricking her nose.
Raine stood with his back to her, his red hair darker from the water weighing it down, and his gaze fixed on the black cliffs that pierced the sea. They fell so sharply they almost appeared to have been polished, for how smooth the vertical drop was.
As she hesitantly came up beside him, she placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” Lessia said, blinking against the drops of water hitting her face. “I… I didn’t know how to.”
“How was she?” Raine didn’t look away from the water rushing down the sharp stone, and his voice was nearly void of emotion.
“She was good.” Lessia wasn’t sure how to tell him what Solana had asked.
Raine was her friend, but… she didn’t understand him like Frelina did.
He mostly teased her when he was in the mood for it, and when he wasn’t… Lessia tried to stay clear because if Merrick was broody, Raine was… well, he was the grouchiest person she’d ever met.
Lessia’s eyes followed the dark clouds swirling above them, hoping that the storm that had raged since the night she came back to life wasn’t a bad sign.
“She misses you, Raine. And she hated seeing you drink all those years. I think… I think she is proud of you for what you’ve been doing since the Lakes of Mirrors. ”
A huff left the burly Fae, and Lessia knew it wasn’t just raindrops that wetted his face when she turned to him, her hand gripping him harder in support.
“She wants you to be happy,” she forced out. “She asked me to tell you… that she wants you to love again. That you deserve it. And… so does she.”
The jerk of Raine’s head toward the cabin told Lessia she didn’t need to elaborate on who she was.
“She… she said this?” Raine asked as his eyes finally met hers. “She knows?”
Lessia nodded. “Solana loves you. So much. But… she said it wasn’t your time anymore. Not now. Not yet. And… Raine, she wasn’t sad. She… she is moving on.”
The rest of Lessia’s words choked in her throat at the emotions pulling Raine’s brows, at how his lips twisted, at how his strong face pinched, and it felt as if her heart were being torn in two.
If someone had told her this about Merrick…
No.
Even before her eyes turned over her shoulder, she knew he’d be there.
Like he always was. Like she always needed him to be.
Merrick’s large hand enveloped hers, and she molded her body to his side as her hand dropped from Raine’s shoulder, her mate’s replacing it.
“Brother,” Merrick said. “It sounds like Solana.”
Only a low hum vibrated in Raine’s chest, and Lessia could tell the Fae was barely holding it together.
“She doesn’t blame you,” Merrick continued. “Nobody blames you. We can all see that you and—”
Raine’s nostrils flared, his hands clenching, and even though Lessia didn’t want to back away from Merrick, she couldn’t stop herself when the air shifted into burning rage, the sharp jolts of it joining the already electric air, raising not just the hair on her arms but that of her scalp as well.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Merrick, so just… leave me alone,” Raine snarled.
Lessia’s heart skipped a beat when the damn silver-haired Fae didn’t back up but instead purred, “Are you sure? You might feel better after landing some punches. I know you’ve been pissed at me for what I did that day… that I risked the little—”
Merrick’s face flew to the side as Raine’s fist drove into it, and Lessia snarled as someone pulled her back into another hard chest while Raine landed another blow to Merrick’s chest, then a kick to his legs, nearly forcing him onto his knees on the wet stone.
Lessia hissed through her bared teeth.
Merrick wasn’t even defending himself!
“Let them fight it out,” Kerym whispered into her ear as she struggled against his grip. “Merrick feels guilty for that day when he risked everyone else to save you, and Raine feels confused and probably half out of his mind. They need this.”
“Kerym—” she started, but he interrupted her again.
“Look at them,” he continued. “They need this.”
“Can’t you just siphon whatever brooding, stupid energy they need to get rid of?” Lessia hissed as she tried to shove the raven-haired Fae warrior off.
To absolutely no fucking avail.
Kerym laughed softly, apparently not affected at all by her throwing her back against his chest. “I could. But this is far more entertaining.” He chuckled once more.
“Besides, it’s been a while since any of us got to beat Merrick, and he is clearly letting Raine do it today. Don’t take that away from him.”
She shook her head, but when Raine landed another blow to Merrick’s face and then a boot to his gut, she realized Kerym was right.
Merrick looked… more relaxed than she’d seen in days, and even Raine’s eyes focused as he continued to land blows, although they became softer and softer, the strikes never once landing in the same spot.
Kerym continued to hold on to her, the two of them nearly drenched, until Raine’s arms finally fell to his sides, his chest heaving as he jerked his head so his wet hair went flying, while Merrick grinned, his silver strands somehow still sparkling, like the stupid bastard he was.
Storming up to them, she whipped her head back and forth between the damp and panting Fae warriors. “Are you idiots done now?”
She glared at each of them until they bowed their heads, and then she took Merrick’s hand, dragging him to the path leading down to the wyverns, unable to stop herself from muttering “Stupid bastards” the entire time they descended the steep, slippery steps.
But she couldn’t be truly angry. Not when she could feel Merrick smiling, although the twist of his lips and his half-turned-away face tried to hide it.