Chapter 19
Frelina
Maybe it was a little bit vain, but Frelina spun before the mirror in her room.
The deep blue dress the Fae leader had lent her hugged every curve with the intricate lacing on both sides of her waist and made the golden tones in her hair and eyes sparkle even though night had already fallen.
“You look beautiful.” Iviry sat on her bed, her legs crossed as she picked at her own dress, a pale pink one that Frelina had initially thought would clash with her fiery hair but that somehow made her look elegant and wild at the same time, with her thick copper curls cascading down her back and her impossibly blue eyes shining bright in contrast with it.
Turning toward her, Frelina grinned. “So do you.”
Iviry had shown up at her room after training today, several dresses in her arms, and while Frelina was pretty certain she’d done it only as an excuse to avoid Loche and the duty they both had, she was grateful.
It had been decided that every night until they reached the Ellow-Vastala border, the middle line of ships would host dinners and festivities, while the front and back lines would keep them all sailing—and safe, Frelina assumed.
And while most would rotate between standing guard, sailing, and nights off, Iviry had asked Frelina to join her, both as a council member and as a friend.
She’d been hesitant at first, but Iviry had actually resorted to begging, and since Frelina knew these festivities were mainly a ruse to ensure people saw Iviry and Loche together, and ideally believed them to be madly in love to unite their people, she had finally caved.
A small part of her also ached for the Fae beauty.
She knew very well why Iviry’s smiles never really reached her eyes.
Frelina shot the leader another smile as she went to the small table in the corner of her room and opened the bottle of wine someone had placed there, pouring two healthy glasses.
Being with someone whose heart would never really be yours?
No, Frelina was glad she’d realized early enough that whatever she and Raine had shared… it would never be what she wanted—what she had started to think she deserved. But Iviry? She didn’t have a choice but to marry the man who’d given his heart to another.
Iviry’s blue eyes flickered over her face as Frelina offered her one of the glasses. “What should we toast to?”
“Friendship? Dumb males?” Frelina twisted her mouth, unsure why laughter bubbled so close to the surface.
But when Iviry’s mouth twitched as well, Frelina couldn’t hold back a giggle, which raced through her so fast she almost spilled the wine. After taking a sip from the overfilled cup, Frelina shook her head. “You’re going to be a good leader, Iviry. You’re strong. Stronger than most, I think.”
Iviry’s delicate brows snapped together. “What do you mean?”
“Well…” Frelina hesitated.
She didn’t know if it was a good idea to be too truthful this early in their budding friendship, although thinking more about it… most of the Fae she’d met—at least the ones she liked—didn’t shy away from the truth.
Frelina took another drink, savoring the warmth flowing through her limbs, before she continued. “I don’t think I could do it—even if it would save our people. Be with someone who’s not entirely certain… I think it’s brave.”
Iviry dragged a finger across the rim of the glass, sending an eerie sound into the room, and her lips lifted in one of the saddest smiles Frelina had ever seen. “If you knew how I truly felt, you’d think me a coward.”
Iviry’s blue eyes drifted out through the rounded window beside the mirror, following the large moon playing in the still sea between the ships flanking theirs.
While Frelina wanted to ask what she meant, she could sense Iviry wasn’t finished, so she only continued drinking from her glass, eyeing the older female.
“I think staying away is braver,” Iviry said after a few more loaded moments of silence, casting Frelina a meaningful look.
“I… I am so drawn to him, I’m worried I’ll take whatever he can give me.
I… didn’t think the mate bond worked like this.
I mean, Merrick stayed away from your sister for years!
But I… I won’t be able to for much longer.
Not when we have to pretend like this… I’ll be by his side, be whatever he needs, while he will never feel the same. ”
The pain in Iviry’s eyes squeezed Frelina’s chest, and she didn’t hesitate as she put a hand on the female’s wrist. “I think there is maybe incredible courage in both. Giving your heart without asking for anything in return…” Frelina’s eyes dropped for a moment.
“I thought… I thought I could do it, but…”
“I’m not certain you should give up on him.”
Frelina lifted her gaze again. “What do you mean?”
Iviry’s features shifted into an uncertain grimace. “He seems different. Something has changed over the past few days. I don’t know… Seeing him train with you today, it… it reminded me of a Raine I hadn’t seen in a long time.”
Frelina was about to argue that he appeared the same to her when a knock interrupted them, and Frecco’s smiling face peeked through the door. “Are you decent?”
“We are.” Frelina waved him in, and she started laughing again when Frecco pouted and mumbled, “I’d hoped you wouldn’t be.”
“Next time I’ll dress slower,” Frelina joked as she slid her arm into his outstretched one, Iviry taking his other as three of her guards who’d waited outside the room circled them.
They kept them surrounded as they made their way across two ships to the rear, and then three to the side, until they reached one where the sound of chatter and plates and music drowned even the sound of the waves lapping the ships.
None of them missed Iviry taking a deep breath as they crossed the final brow, and Frelina leaned forward, peeking at her.
“If it gets too much, just call on all these handsome guards and have them cover you,” she teased, eliciting low chuckles from the males around them.
“I mean, probably no one will even look at you, especially if they keep taking off their jackets like this.”
More chuckles reverberated in the crackling air, and even Iviry shook her head and snorted when Frelina theatrically lifted a hand to her forehead like the women did in the more romantically inclined books she’d read growing up.
Honestly, she didn’t have to pretend too much. The guards had taken off their emerald uniform jackets, and the white shirts beneath, clinging to their muscles? Yes, they definitely did something to her.
Not like R—
A mock scoff from Frecco thankfully interrupted her train of thought, and she moved her gaze to his green eyes, the smile that had fallen returning to her lips.
“Should we continue our little show on the dance floor?” Frecco wiggled his brows as Iviry offered her a small wave and walked off to socialize with the Fae around her, although it appeared she was keeping an eye on the human crowd at the side of the ship, where Loche was speaking to Zaddock and Amalise, and a few others Frelina recognized—a woman who was part of the council and a guard who kept his birdlike mask in his hand as he drank from a cup of wine.
“We most certainly should.” Frelina dropped in a low curtsy, the way her father had taught her and Elessia growing up.
Frecco’s eyes glittered as he bowed back before grabbing her hand and, without a single moment of hesitation, took her to the dance floor, where no one had yet dared venture.
She kept her eyes on his as he spun her to the music. He wasn’t an exceptionally good dancer, not like her father had been—the only other person she’d ever danced with—but he was having fun, and she giggled every time he managed to step on one of her feet.
When Frecco dipped her, pretending to drop her but catching her at the last second, ice crept through her chest, and she couldn’t help but lose the smile that had felt so good to let free.
Frecco caught her sentiment, pulling her close so that she could hide the tears springing into her eyes in his tunic-clad chest.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against her hair. “I was just trying to be funny.”
“N-no,” she whispered. “It… it just reminded me of my father.”
Frecco didn’t say anything, but the way he tucked her against his chest told her he understood.
Despite the tears flooding her cheeks, she whispered “Thank you” when he continued to shield her from the people hesitantly making their way onto the dance floor, and steered her to a quieter corner—one that reminded her of where she’d stumbled into him the first time.
Last night, she’d been wandering on her own across ships to get some space from everything going on when she’d heard someone crying and found this massive guard with tears glistening on his face in the moonlight.
Frecco had stood with his hands on the railing, staring south, and despite his massive frame, there had been something kind, something vulnerable in his face that made Frelina approach him.
He must have heard her coming—he was full Fae, after all—but he hadn’t even tried to hide his sorrow as he turned around. Instead, he’d waved for her to join him with a low “This is the crying corner, and from what I’ve heard, you also have a lot to cry about, so you’re welcome to join me.”
Frelina hadn’t been able to quash a shocked laugh, and that had been that. They’d spent the entire night talking about their lives in a way she never really had before, but she guessed it helped that he was a complete stranger, and that he appeared to have no boundaries of his own.
He’d told her all about how Rioner had killed his parents, how he’d been thrown into Rioner’s guard at only eighteen, how he’d met a female in Vastala who he hadn’t dared be with because he didn’t want Rioner to hold anything over his head—how he had no idea where this female was now or if he’d ever see her again.
Frelina had listened and listened, and when Frecco had asked her about her own life, everything just came tumbling out: how scared she was for her sister, what had happened with Raine, how useless she felt in this war, especially after her sister had whispered how much she loved her and how she knew Frelina would be able to do good here when she traveled to Vastala—how she had no idea how to live up to what Elessia believed she could accomplish.
Frecco had been quiet for a while, until he’d asked her if she wanted to try to help in the only way he knew. Figure out a way to relieve some of the tension she felt even in this quiet corner.
She’d nodded, and they’d come up with the training plan—how they would show people that they could trust each other despite the bad blood that should flow between them—and when they’d shared the idea with Loche and Iviry and they liked it, they’d decided to spend every day practicing, finding the Fae and humans and shifters who were most distrustful and keeping close to them to try to make at least a few believe in the world Loche and Iviry were trying to build.
“Is she crying?”
Did he hurt you?
Raine’s raging voice invaded her mind, and she didn’t have time to react before she was ripped from Frecco’s arms, Raine pulling her face to his as he studied her.
Frelina felt several pairs of eyes snapping their way, and when Raine slammed a palm against Frecco’s chest as he tried to approach, she hissed under her breath, “Stop it right now, you idiot.”
Raine’s chest heaved as Frelina glared at him, but she refused to let his green-and-golden gaze go until the sounds picked up around them again, the warmth of the gazes fading.
“She told you to stop, mind-bender,” Frecco warned when a growl shook Raine’s chest as Frecco shoved his hand off, moving to Frelina’s side again.
Raine’s eyes left Frelina’s for a moment, and the hair on her arms rose at the look in his hazel ones when he glowered at Frecco. But the latter only grinned back, placing a hand on Frelina’s shoulder and leaning in to whisper, “What would you like to do?”
As she met his eyes briefly, there was a challenge in them—one that wasn’t directed at her but at Raine—and she realized Frecco would play along however she wanted.
She was tempted, especially as Raine’s eyes were glued to the hand on her shoulder, but Frelina forced herself to shrug it off, nodding toward a few of the other half-Fae who had gathered at the side of the dance floor, where Fae and humans hesitantly danced, not together but at least side by side.
“I need to speak to Raine, but maybe you can give one of them the pleasure of a dance in the meantime.”
Frecco waited for a beat—probably to ensure she was certain—before he nodded, and with a smile that turned frosty as his eyes brushed past Raine’s, Frecco took off.
Frelina took a steadying breath before she captured Raine’s eyes again.
“What the fuck was that?” she asked, making sure she emphasized each word.
Raine squared his shoulder as he stared back at her. “You were crying. I could feel your pain from over there.” He gestured to another ship, where he was supposed to be standing guard tonight.
“So you make a scene?” She didn’t let him shrink back as she took another step toward him, grabbing a fistful of the white tunic that looked too damn good on him, hoping it would wrinkle and make him look less…
just less of anything, especially the things that made her heart jump whenever he was around.
“You know we are here to help them,” Frelina continued, her eyes darting to Loche and Iviry, who were venturing toward the dance floor, people parting for them. “I am doing what I can, and so should you.”
“I know,” Raine snapped back. “I… I just can’t fucking stand it when you hurt.”
One of her brows flew up before she could stop it.
“Fuck,” Raine swore as he followed the weave of unease that must have crossed her face. “I know I caused some of it, and… I am trying…”
“You’re trying… what?” She nearly tapped her foot when Raine’s mouth opened and closed like a stupid fish on land.
When Raine didn’t say anything, she scoffed, gently shifting him out of the way as she approached the dance floor.
I’ve said it before, Raine. If you want something with me, you need to use your fucking words.
She sent the thought to his mind, and before she was able to close her own, another thought left her mental boundaries—one she could feel pierced his mind like a dagger would his skin.
Because there might be a time when I’m not there to listen anymore.