Chapter Five #2
“Did I tell you the Tooth Fairy brought me a dollar for each tooth?” Olivia asked.
“You did.”
“Sarah at school got five dollars when she lost a tooth. Can you imagine a whole five dollars? I’d start pulling all my teeth if I got five dollars for every tooth.”
Logan laughed, and because he did, Beth smiled.
“Are you spending Christmas with your parents?” he asked Beth.
She nodded. “What are your Christmas plans?” He’d been raised in California and didn’t have much of a family. He rarely mentioned anything having to do with his childhood, and when she asked, he often changed the subject.
He shrugged, indicating he didn’t have any plans.
“You should come and be with us for Christmas,” Olivia piped in with enthusiasm that was hard to ignore. “It would be the best Christmas ever if you came to Grandma and Grandpa’s with us.”
“I . . . I don’t think so, pumpkin. Your grandparents—”
“They aren’t mad at you,” Olivia said, cutting him off. “Grandpa told me that sometimes daddies need time away to think things over and that you would always love me no matter what, but I get sad when you aren’t here.”
At her words, Logan swallowed tightly.
Beth had no idea her father had spoken to Olivia about Logan’s absence from their lives.
“He said that, did he?” Logan sounded doubtful.
Olivia’s head bobbed up and down. “He really did. So will you come for Christmas? It would be the best gift ever if you did.”
After a brief hesitation, Logan said, “I’ll think about it.”
Olivia released a loud sigh as her shoulders sank. “That’s what Mommy says all the time, and it almost always means no.”
Once more Logan smiled and looked at Beth. “My parents said the same thing to me, and Olivia’s right, it nearly always meant no.”
Olivia pleaded, folding her hands as if praying. “It would make me so happy if you were with us for Christmas.”
“Pumpkin . . .”
Olivia wasn’t hearing it. “Grandma makes the best stuffing in the entire world, and she puts it right inside the turkey and everything just like Thanksgiving. And there’s mashed potatoes and lots of gravy with cranberry sauce.
I don’t like that much, but I take one bite.
Mommy calls it a thank-you bite, which means I’m grateful enough to give it a try. ”
Breathless by the time she finished, Olivia looked pleadingly at her father. “Will you please, please, please come for Christmas?”
Logan seemed to take in his daughter’s words. “You say you’re sad without me, but is your mommy sad, too?” Although he asked Olivia the question, it was directed at Beth.
“It’s okay,” Beth quickly responded, not allowing Olivia to answer. “Olivia and I have learned to adjust.”
Olivia twisted her head as though to study her father. “Are you sad without us, too?”
Again, he responded with a shrug as if he wasn’t sure what to say. “Sometimes, but like your mother said, I’ve adjusted.”
Olivia mulled this over. “Is it possible for adults to get unadjusted?”
Logan shared a surprised look with Beth. “I don’t know.”
“Neither do I,” Beth added.
They sat in silence for several seconds.
“I had no idea you were on the ferry,” Beth commented, wanting to fill in the uncomfortable pause.
“Yeah, I’m selling my motorcycle.”
Beth swallowed hard, knowing how much Logan loved his Harley. He’d earned money washing cars at a dealership as a teenager until he’d saved up enough to pay for the bike. He treasured it more than any other possession he owned.
“No, you can’t,” she said, without realizing she’d spoken aloud. The money situation would have to be dire if Logan had resorted to selling his beloved motorcycle.
“It is what it is,” Logan murmured.
“I remember your motorcycle!” Olivia cried excitedly. “You promised to give me a ride one day. Remember?”
“I do, and perhaps I’ll buy another one someday. I always keep my promises, Olivia. You’ll get your ride, I guarantee it, I’m just not sure when.”
“But I like the motorcycle you have now.”
“So do I,” Logan said, sadness leaking into his response.
“Then why are you selling it?” Olivia asked, which was the very question plaguing Beth.
Logan appeared to be composing his answer. “Sometimes adults have to give up things they enjoy for other things.”
“What other things?” Olivia asked.
“Just things, ones that are important.”
Beth battled back tears. It hurt her heart that Logan was selling his motorcycle. As hard as it was to make ends meet, especially when she wasn’t working, not once had they considered selling his bike.
Reaching over, Beth placed her hand on Logan’s forearm. “I’m so sorry.”
He looked at her hand for several long seconds. “Nothing to be sorry about. Like I said, it is what it is. Life is like that. We all need to make choices, and they aren’t always easy ones. I’ve got my truck, and the motorcycle was taking up space and . . .” He let the rest fade.
“Your truck is twenty years old,” she protested. It had been on its last legs when they’d been together. She couldn’t imagine it would keep running much longer.
“It gets me where I need to go and that’s all that’s necessary.”
Beth hardly knew what to say.
“Mommy, please call Grandma and tell her Daddy is coming to dinner on Christmas.”
Beth knew Olivia’s real Christmas wish was to spend it with her father—spend it as a family. For that matter, it would mean the world to her, too. The last two Christmases without him had left her feeling empty and her heart aching for what might have been.
“Would you like that?” she asked Logan, unsure of his response.
He turned to look at her, his gaze intense. “Would you?”
“I would,” and then for emphasis, she nodded. “More than you know.”
His eyes filled with a flicker of what looked like hope. “You can ask, but I don’t think your folks would relish me hanging around.”
“I will ask, but I feel that despite everything, they would welcome you,” she told him. Her parents knew how much it would mean to Olivia to have her father over for Christmas and would relent if for no other reason.
He remained uncertain. “You’re sure. I mean, even after, you know . . . everything?”
“Olivia is right. Mom and Dad would be happy to see you.”
“Then okay, if you’re sure,” he said.
Beth reached for her phone. It was a small step, and for the first time in a long while it was a step forward.