Chapter 11
Lucky
I sat, hunched over my tablet at the kitchen island, tapping out responses to my DeviDraws subscribers with one eye on the mudroom door. Wade had gone into town for groceries. Bode was… somewhere. Avoiding me, probably.
I smiled as another message notification popped up from one of my long-time fans, asking for a small change to one of his commission pieces. Smiling, I typed out an answer.
DeviDraws: Absolutely. I’ll make those adjustments. Your boy will look properly desperate to please.
Outside, the wind howled, rattling the massive windows that faced the slopes.
The mountain was scheduled to open in less than two weeks, and the first significant snowfall had dusted the higher elevations.
The stark white against the dark pines made my fingers itch to draw, but not the kind of drawing I could share with anyone.
Another notification pinged: Japan720, the subscriber who’d ordered a commission the other day. They were one of my newest subscribers but a consistent commenter after joining at the highest tier.
Japan720: Hey, thanks so much for the commission. My friend loved it. It turned out so fucking sexy.
I smiled, experiencing that rush of validation.
Japan720 had become one of my favorites, always commenting on the technical aspects of my work while also admitting how it affected them personally.
There was vulnerability in their messages that made me want to respond more than I did with other subscribers.
The sound of the mudroom door opening made me jolt, but I wanted to finish typing my message, so I angled my tablet screen away from the door. Seconds later, Bode appeared, hair damp from the snow, cheeks flushed. I quickly finished the message I’d been typing.
DeviDraws: You still good with me sharing it on the Patreon?
“Hey,” Bode said, out of breath. “Didn’t know you were down here.”
“Just working.” I gestured vaguely at my tablet.
He moved to the sink and filled a glass with water, drinking it down in long gulps that emphasized the line of his throat. A message notification chimed from his pocket, which wasn’t odd. But the way he froze, his cheeks flushing made something click in my mind.
A Japan was a snowboard grab. A 720 was a snowboard trick. Surely a coincidence, right?
I stared down at my tablet for a moment, then sent a heart emoji to the chat with Japan720.
Bode’s phone chimed again.
Bode hadn’t moved. I frowned, heart pounding hard enough that I could feel it in my throat. Impossible.
I sent another message to Japan720—another emoji, a winking face.
Bode’s phone pinged again.
The silence in the kitchen was broken only by the rain hammering against the windows and the blood rushing in my ears. I stared at him. He stared at his phone.
“You’re Japan720.” I stood and walked over to him.
Bode’s eyes lifted to meet mine, and for once, there was no flatness there, no distance. There was fear, embarrassment, and hunger.
“Lucky, I—”
"How long?" I cut him off, my tone rising. "How fucking long?"
He swallowed hard. “I found out the day I joined.”
“That was like two weeks ago!” The words exploded from me as I stood up from the stool, tablet clutched in my grip. “Fuck. You saw me sketching that day, when you acted like you thought I was doing work.” Why hadn’t I connected the dots?
He grimaced.
“You’ve been sitting there on the couch pretending you don’t know that I’m—that I—” I couldn’t finish the sentence. My entire body was vibrating with fury and humiliation.
Bode took a step back, holding up his hands. "I should have told you, but I didn’t know how, and I—" He stopped, running a hand through his hair. "I subscribed because I wanted to support your work. Because it’s incredible. I love what you do.”
“Support my—” I sputtered, unable to process what I was hearing. My mind was racing through every drawing I’d posted in the last week, every explicit scene, every filthy caption. Bode had seen all of it. Had paid to see all of it. “This isn’t happening.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, and he sounded sincere. “It was I didn’t know how to bring it up without making things weird.”
“Without making things weird?” I laughed, the sound sharp and humorless. “Oh, because finding out my roommate has been jerking off to my art isn’t weird at all?”
Bode flinched but didn’t deny it. The confirmation sent another wave of heat through me—anger mixed with something else I wasn’t ready to examine.
“Does anyone else know?” The thought made my stomach clench.
Bode hesitated, for a second, but it was enough. My blood ran cold.
“Who?” I demanded.
He peered at the floor, back at me. "Wade knows."
The world tilted sideways. "Wade knows?" I whispered, my voice small. "Wade has seen my—has seen DeviDraws?"
Bode nodded, a flush rising in his cheeks. “I… I don’t guess I thought you’d showed it to him, since you guys are so close? By the time I realized he didn’t know what I was talking about, it was too late to take it back.”
Wade knew. Wade had seen every drawing, every scenario I’d created, every fantasy I’d poured onto the screen. Wade, who I’d been keeping at arm’s length for years. I wrapped my arms around myself.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We both love your drawings.”
"How could you?"
"I know it was wrong," Bode said. "And I’m sorry. But Lucky..." His voice changed, dropping lower, becoming more intense. "You woke me up."
I blinked at him, caught off guard by the shift. "What?"
He gestured, his eyes never leaving mine. "I’ve been... I don’t know how to explain it. Wade says it's gold medal depression, but who knows. After the Olympics, instead of feeling good about the win, I was numb. Nothing felt real. I was... existing." He swallowed hard.
“I thought Wade was helping you with that?”
“It was you. When I saw your art, and for the first time in months, I felt alive. Wade just… showed me what it meant, I guess.”
I stared at him, trying to process what he was saying. “Why my art?" I asked, curiosity temporarily overwhelming my anger.
Bode looked uncomfortable, but he held my gaze. “I don’t really know. It’s raw. Honest. It’s sexy as hell, but it's not about sex. It’s about vulnerability and power and trust, right? And your latest series, with all of us in it… Fuck, Lucky. It drives both of us crazy.”
For a long time, I stood there. I didn’t know what to say. I’d been drawing erotic content for years, and sure, I got compliments from subscribers all the time. But this was different.
"I don’t know whether to be flattered or pissed off," I said.
A ghost of a smile touched his lips. "Both would be fair.”
We stood there for a moment, the rain beating against the windows, the tension between us shifting into something more complex. I was angry and embarrassed, but there was something else now too. A spark of interest.
Bode took a deep breath. "I’ll unsubscribe if you want me to. But I..." He paused, conflicted. "I’d like to know what happens next. In your story. The one about us."
I stared at him, trying to maintain my glare, but I realized that I'd been misbehaving in my fantasy life, and he knew it. "I didn't mean for it to be about us. They're characters, who happen to ..."
"Like us."
Heat rushed to my face. "It wasn’t intentional. It ... happened.”
“I was worried you guys would be mad at me for drawing you, you know.”
“So not mad. Neither of us.” The corner of his mouth twitched up in what might have been the beginning of a smirk. "Hell, we're flattered. It's fucking hot."
I groaned and covered my face with my hands. "This is so messed up."
"It is," Bode said. "But maybe if we’re finally all honest with each other, it doesn’t have to be. Wade definitely doesn't think so. I mean, he’s been pining for you for so long. You had to know he'd lose his mind if he ever found out."
"Pining? That's ridiculous. Wade is... Wade." Wade had always been out of my league, a tall, handsome, all-American type who could charm the pants off any woman in a six mile radius.
"He followed you to Colorado."
"Because we're friends!"
"Or because he's waiting around for you to notice him. And with him being pansexual, he's super into the throuple concept."
I blinked. "Wade isn't pansexual." I was so fucking confused.
“Jesus, do you and Wade communicate at all? I thought you were best friends,” Bode said with a small smile. "He’s so damn uninhibited. How could he possibly have kept secrets from you?"
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. “I think we need to talk about this. All three of us. Tonight."
Bode nodded, relieved that I hadn’t thrown him out of the kitchen. "Tonight."
"And we need comfort food," I said. "The good stuff your grandmother sent over the other day."
A smile spread across his face, small but real. It transformed him, lighting up his features in a way that made my breath catch. "Deal."
"And I’m still mad at you," I said, though the heat had gone out of my voice.
"I’m sorry," he said again, and I believed him. "For what it’s worth, I think you’re talented. And sexy."
Something warm opened in my chest at his words. I’d spent so long keeping DeviDraws separate from my real life, hiding that part of myself away. There was something both terrifying and liberating about having it out in the open, having it seen and appreciated by people who knew the real me.
"Tonight," I said again. "We’ll figure this out tonight. All three of us. Right now, I have a podcast to do.”
His eyes widened. “The one for the Aimee Position that you mentioned in your subscriber newsletter? That’s so dope.”
“It’s weird that you know all of this.”
Bode nodded, his eyes holding mine for a moment longer than necessary.
"I’m sorry, Lucky. We should have told you sooner."