Chapter 46 #2
“I had no interest in dragging you back, Wildfire. I would never chain you to me or to the past. I only wanted to give back what was stolen from you.” He took a deep breath.
“And if you listened to it and still wanted nothing to do with me… only then would I let you go. If you heard what I had to say and hated me for it, or even wanted me dead… I would understand. I would fucking welcome it. Because at least then my conscience would be clear.”
His closeness was dizzying, and the raw honesty in his words was almost too much to bear.
“The only thing that matters now is that you finally know.” Draevyn searched her face. “Everything is in your hands now, Esmyra. My fate. Your future, or ours together… It’s yours to decide.”
His words settled deep inside her, heavy and impossible to ignore, twisting something in her chest she didn’t even have a name for.
Esmyra was caged between his arms as the candlelight flickered, painting gold along the edges of his face and the soft curve of his mouth. Every inch of her screamed to lean into him, to close the space he left agonizingly open.
He brought his face close to hers and spoke softly, the words vibrating against her skin. “It’s your decision. Not mine. Not Syrena’s. Not anyone else’s.”
His lips hovered just shy of hers, so close she could feel the warmth radiating off them. “If you decide to walk away or set our realm ablaze again, I’ll stand by your decision.”
Her chest rose sharply, her fingers clutching at the edge of the desk as if it were her only anchor to the world.
His eyes burned into hers. “Because loving you isn’t about what I get back. It’s about you.”
Love.
“What I feel for you…this deep, relentless, almost agonizing love…has nothing to do with the gods who walked our world a thousand years ago.” The words dragged out of him slowly, like a confession meant to sear itself into her soul.
Esmyra sat frozen on the desk, her knees bracketing his hips as her heart threatened to tear itself apart. She swallowed, barely able to breathe as he leaned in even closer, his lips grazing her cheek, her jaw, but never quite reaching where she desperately ached for them to be.
“The power I wield may come from Irah, but what I feel for you is mine and mine alone,” he murmured, his breath hot against her ear.
“Irah and Kaelypso’s love was cursed, but I fucking refuse to allow ours to be doomed as theirs was.
And never again will history repeat itself, lifetime after lifetime.
We choose our own fate. And you are mine, so long as you’ll have me. ”
The ship rocked, the candle flames danced, and for a heartbeat, the world felt like it was holding its breath.
“You love me?” Her words were barely a whisper.
The smile he gave her was so achingly beautiful. “Aye.”
“How can you be so sure it isn’t theirs?” It was something she’d always feared. That this love between them wasn’t even something in their control.
Draevyn took her chin in his hands, forcing her gaze to meet his. “What burns in me, is mine. Not theirs. What I feel for you isn’t because some god carved it into my veins. I love you because you carved yourself into me.”
Those talons of yours dug themselves into me, and they refuse to let me go. The memory of them at the lagoon came rushing back.
The way he looked at her now—gods, the way he looked at her—burned through every doubt that had been simmering within her. There was nothing forced in those whiskey eyes. Nothing written by anyone but him.
His lips hovered, so close she could almost taste the words as they left him. “So, what will it be, Wildfire?”
Draevyn still didn’t kiss her. He left the question hanging there, cruel and tender all at once, letting the desire between them stretch unbearably thin.
The ache of him pressing close but not giving in as his breath mingled with hers was about to be her undoing.
The tension had grown so thick it stole the air from her lungs.
“I—” Her voice cracked as she desperately searched for the words. “Gods, I don’t even know how to say this. I’ve never… I’ve never felt anything like this before. Not for anyone.”
He didn’t move, didn’t speak, only watched her with that unbearable intensity.
“I don’t even know how to describe what I feel for you. It feels…messy. It may even be wrong.”
His smirk was infuriating. Almost as infuriating as that adorable dimple it brought to his cheek.
“It doesn’t make sense, and it terrifies me so damn much because everything I touch falls apart.” Her hands fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer. “But you… You’re the only thing that’s ever felt like mine. And the only thing I don’t want to let go of.”
The tears slipped free now, hot against her cheeks. “I love you, Draevyn Rowe. Somewhere along the way, my black heart stopped being mine. It’s yours. It’s been yours even longer than I’ve realized.”
Esmyra let out a soft, trembling laugh as she pressed her forehead to his. “You have all of me. The light, the darkness, and all the shattered pieces in between. If fate destroys us, then so be it. I can’t give my heart to anyone else. It’s yours, and it always will be.”
His hands slid to cradle her face, his thumbs brushing the tears from her cheeks. His smile widened, but it was the way his eyes shone—bright, raw, and utterly undone—that told her everything.
The last of her words came out like a plea, almost a sob. “Do you hear me, Drae? My heart is yours, and yours alone.”
And with that, she closed the space between them, crashing her lips to his with all the force of everything she felt.
One of his hands tangled in her hair as the other pulled her firmly against him, like he needed to feel her there.
The kiss was all their restraint finally breaking, his mouth moving against hers with a rough tenderness that stole her breath.
He kissed her like he’d been holding himself back for centuries, like every fear and hope he’d swallowed was pouring out through his lips.
His grip tightened, thumbs brushing her jaw as if to anchor her to him as the kiss deepened.
It was demanding, aching, and full of feelings they could no longer contain.
But when a small moan slipped from her, any restraint he had left shattered.
Draevyn groaned into her mouth, his hands sliding down her sides, gripping her hips with a possessiveness that sent shivers through her. She wrapped her legs around him, feeling the strength in the way he pressed against her, the desk creaking beneath the weight of them.
His jacket slipped from his shoulders to the floor; the buttons of her shirt came undone beneath his fingers. The kiss deepened as if they could devour one another, and he guided her back down on the desk, hovering over her.
For the briefest, most beautiful moment, there was only him. Only them.
Then a violent, searing agony ripped through Esmyra’s back, so sharp and sudden it stole the air from her lungs.
She gasped against his mouth, the sound turning into a choked cry as her body arched off the desk.
Her nails dug into his forearm, and she threw her head back against the wood as the pain blazed like fire along her spine.
“Esmyra!” His voice was panicked as he tore himself away, stumbling back a step. His eyes widened in horror. “What’s happening? Are you alright?”
She couldn’t answer, couldn’t even find her voice as the torment twisted, white-hot, like something inside her was trying to claw its way out.
“Kaelypso, this is a bad fucking time if you’re the cause of this.” Esmyra tried to will the words to the goddess locked within her.
The edges of her vision blurred, her body trembling violently against the desk.
Draevyn grabbed her shoulders to steady her, his face etched with fear. “Look at me!” he demanded, voice cracking. “What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong so I can help!”
Her nails scraped weakly against the desk as she whimpered, tears streaking down her face from the sheer force of the pain.
“My spine—” She cried out as another wave hit, her body curling inward. “It feels like it’s snapping.”
His face went pale, but he acted quickly, slipping an arm around her waist to steady her. “Easy, easy. I’ve got you.” He carefully sat her up on the desk, cradling her close so she wouldn’t fall.
The agony dulled slightly with the change in position, the sharp, violent searing easing into a deep, throbbing ache. Her breath came in shaky pulls as she clung to him.
When the immediate wave of pain had passed, he glanced around, frantically inspecting the desk. “There’s nothing,” he muttered, running his hand across the wood. “Nothing sharp, nothing that could’ve—” He stopped himself and turned to her, his expression shadowed with something more than concern.
“Esmyra, baby… I need to see your back,” he said. “Please. I just need to make sure it looks okay.”
She hesitated, her pulse pounding wildly through her, but she eventually nodded. “Okay,” she breathed.
With trembling fingers, they worked together to peel her shirt away.
Each of his movements were slow and careful, as if she might shatter under the wrong touch.
The fabric slid over her arms, and she immediately folded them across her chest, covering her breasts as vulnerability crept in.
It wasn’t even about him seeing her bare, but seeing her weakened.
Biting her lip, she turned slowly so her back faced him.
And then—silence.
Esmyra felt Draevyn’s stillness before she saw it. He didn’t speak, didn’t even move a muscle. The air around them seemed to tighten, heavy with dread.
“W-what is it?” she whispered.
He didn’t answer her, and panic began clawing its way up her throat.
“Drae?!”
When he finally exhaled, it was shaky, almost broken. “…Fucking Irah.”
She stiffened. “What? What do you see?”
The silence dragged on so long it made her stomach twist. She clutched her arms tighter over her chest, heart thundering as she waited for him to say something—anything.
Finally, his voice came, low and laced with horror. “Do you remember everything that happened when they captured you?”
Her brows furrowed, confusion cutting through her fear. “What?”
“Think.” His tone was sharper now, but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. “Do you remember what they did to you?”
“I—no. I don’t. I remember the fight breaking out in Anchorage Cove and Atlas cornering me.
Then nothing.” Her fingers tightened against her skin as the memories swam hazy.
“They knocked me unconscious. When I woke up, it was days later, and I was already on their ship. Everything in between is just…blank.”
He swore under his breath, a sound that sent chills through her. And then all the flame’s candles in the room burst brightly from his rage.
“What?” she demanded, twisting slightly to look at him over her shoulder. “What is it? Is there something on my back?”
His jaw clenched. “It looks like you’ve been…
brutalized. There’s fresh scars. They’re deep, like something was carved into you.
And—” His voice faltered, his hand hovering near her skin but not daring to touch.
“Esmyra, your back is covered in black veins. They start at your spine and spread outward, like they’re growing under your skin. ”
Black veins. Her mind emptied as silence filled her ears.
She turned fully toward him, and his expression was dark with fear and pure, utter fury. “They put something inside of you.”
Pardon the damage dealt to that pretty little body of yours, the words of the man who captured her with the net tore through her mind. Her lips parted in horror.
Draevyn picked up one of the candelabras from the desk and whipped it across the room as he let out a scream of wrath.
And then he began to pace in front of her, running a hand through his hair.
“Atlas put velsinyte inside of you, or in the very least, his men did at his fucking command. And it’s still there. ”