4. Gemma
Chapter 4
Gemma
I close the front door and stand with my back pressed to the cool, hard wood, trying to absorb some of its calm.
It doesn’t work.
The squeal that escapes my lips rings out high pitched and joyful, even with my fingers pressed tightly over my mouth.
I spin and peek through one of the high, rectangular windows on the door to make sure Ainsley isn’t still standing there, listening to me lose it like a little girl on Christmas morning.
Or Christmas night to be more accurate.
But he’s nowhere in sight. I allow myself a full-on shriek of happiness and a silly dance down the hallway and up the stairs to my room.
The house is empty for once, so I won’t have to explain my giddy state to anyone. What would I even tell them?
That The Fool showed up just as my own card work was predicting a fork in the road and a collaborative new chapter in my life?
That a handsome blast from my past appeared out of nowhere, igniting a decade old flame I thought was long forgotten?
Or maybe…maybe that I have a little crush.
And a raging inferno between my legs.
My phone buzzes in my pocket just as I close the door to my room.
The Magician : My mom says hi
I grin at the characteristically short text that somehow still conveys all the things I know he wants to say to me.
You told her I was sorry I couldn’t make it and gave her my gift, right?
The Magician : We have plans with the whole family on New Year’s day. It’s going to be Christmas 2.0
I probably should have gone to Christmas dinner, but I just couldn’t ignore the call from my intuition to stay home. To go out for fish and chips by myself instead of cozying up on Bainbridge Island with a home cooked meal and cheesy holiday movies.
When are you coming home?
The Magician : I’d be dead meat if I tried to sneak out before morning. Catching the first ferry straight to work. Call me when you get up.
I smile and toss my phone aside, needing to get my hands on the cards and find out what they have to say about this new development.
Pulling back the curtains, I find that the snow clouds moved on, leaving the sky clear and bright. The big full moon shines down on me as I collect my onyx saging bowl and cards and settle onto the rug in the moonlight.
Breaking a small leaf from the tightly wrapped bundle, I light the end and wait for the flame to flash out, leaving an ember and trail of smoke. I bring the cleansing smoke down around my body, taking care to do my hands and feet, and then over and around the cards as I hold the deck in my other hand.
Satisfied with the small cloud of smoke around me, I set the leaf back with the others in the bowl and allow it to keep trailing smoke as I pick up the deck.
The cards are slippery and crisp between my fingers, and I settle into the feel of them as I shuffle. It’s familiar and grounding, and I’m already calmer. I’m ready to ask my questions and accept the lessons they have to offer.
As I pass the cards up and over each, splitting and rejoining the deck over and over, I decide on a simple three card spread.
First card: My current situation.
Second card: My deepest desires.
Third card: Where I can look for support.
Spreading the deck out on the rug in front of me, I wave my hand slowly down the length of them, feeling for any heat or energy from a particular card. One toward the far end pricks my senses. I slide it out and place it face down in the position of card number one.
I trace my hand back over the splayed cards, this time allowing my fingernail to graze along the center of the cards, bump, bump, bumping over the edge of one card and sliding smoothly over the next. At the center of the line, one of the cards jumps a bit, dislodging itself from the others.
With a smile, I slide that card out and place it in position number two.
Taking my still smoldering sage back out of the bowl, I drape the smoke around me once more and then trace it slowly down the line of cards. It’s not long before the gathering ash gives way and lands right on the back of one of the cards.
I say a quick thank you before settling the sage back in its bowl and pulling the ashy card out for position three.
The moment before I flip over the cards feels heavier than usual, and I pause with my hand hovering for a long breath before quickly flipping over the first card.
Two of Wands.
I laugh out loud and shake my head. Two of Wands would be what I was offered here. The card shows a person standing on the rooftop of a castle, looking out over the vast world beyond, holding a globe in one hand and a wand or staff in the other. This card is often looked at as representing the decision to stay in your comfort zone, safely behind castle walls, or to venture out into the unknown.
And I guess that crossroads is exactly where I am right now—in more ways than one.
Feeling bolder, I flip the second card.
Seven of Swords.
I don’t laugh this time.This card often suggests secrecy, strategy, and sometimes self-preservation. It indicates a deep, unspoken yearning to pursue your desires—even if it means going against the expectations of others or resorting to clandestine measures. If that all wasn’t spot on for my current situation in life, the card carries an even darker shadow side—the fear, or knowledge, of the consequences waiting if you get caught in the lie.
I can’t help but stare at the sneaky thief on the card. He doesn’t seem all that upset about his deception, even as he carries off the treasures of those he left behind. I’ve heard it said that he seems justified in his actions, signaling that this card shows you ways in which you feel like deception is your only option to get the things you really want in life.
With a sigh, I flip the third card, both apprehensive and excited to see where the deck suggests I look for support in this new journey and these new decisions.
The Magician.
A not-so-subtle reminder from my guardian spirits that I already have a very good support system in place. I have everything I need to make decisions and be successful, happy even, right at my fingertips.
If only I was brave enough to tell him the truth.
Suddenly exhausted, I scoop all the cards into a neat stack and slump backward on the floor, spotting my phone laying just a foot away.
Sweet dreams
The Magician : I’ll be howling at the moon for you, witch.