23. Taylor
Chapter 23
Taylor
I t would take a fellow culinarian to spot my nerves in this kitchen, with everyone crowding around the butcher block island, trying and failing to throw pizza dough into perfect rounds, arguing over which toppings belong on pizza and in which order.
A dinner party like this, with nonstop action, and therefore distraction, is designed with one thing in mind—avoiding having to make conversation.
When Gem first told me she wanted to have this party, get everyone in her house together to meet Ainsley, the first thing that came to mind was the six of us sitting around the table, chatting about everyone’s bright futures. Someone would inevitably ask about Gem’s internships, and maybe she would finally be tipsy enough to let the truth slip. I’m not ready to face it, and I sure as fuck don’t want to be having that conversation for the first time in front of a bunch of people.
In some ways, I sowed the field that’s about to reap every good thing from me. I helped her decide to focus on publishing, got her excited about her new program and the idea of a career helping other writers realize the dream of seeing their books published. It was both shortsighted and inevitable. She needed a direction, and now that direction is threatening to lead her far away from me. And this guy, the one from her childhood who showed up with all his money, could take her where she wants to go.
As much as I feel the last quarter of Gem’s program lowering over us like a fog of uncertainty. As often as I feel her omit some details about her internships that she knows I won’t like. As much as I want to honor the promise I made to myself not to be the one who holds her back, not to drag her into my dreams at the expense of her own…
I can’t help it.
I’m not ready to let go.
So, I do the only thing I know how. I throw such a lively, distracting dinner party that there won’t be a single second of silence that needs to be filled.
“This is the best pizza on the planet,” Lana proclaims as she sits back in her seat, draining what could be her sixth glass of the fancy French wine Ainsley provided. Again.
“That’s impossible,” Ainsley chimes in, seeming to have grown more comfortable around the twins who, just a short time ago, he was convinced were apparitions. “Because this,” he gestures to his own pineapple monstrosity, “is the best pizza on the planet.”
The table erupts once more in arguments, boos, and laughter as each person tries to sing the merits of their own creation over the objections of others.
I just sit back and watch it all happen, contentedly full and a little drunk.
Gem is sitting beside me, leaning back with her shoulder against my chest as she laughs along with the others. I’ve been keeping an eye on Ainsley’s hand on her thigh for the last half hour, creeping higher and higher. I want to be annoyed, but I have my hands on her as well, so, as usual, I’m just getting more and more turned on.
As hesitant as I was, and still am, about the merits of adding this guy to our situation right when so many other things are being thrown into flux, there’s no denying the pure magic we all made in Gem’s room the other night.Even if the guy never caves and lets me suck his dick, which he will, the feel of competing with him for space between Gem’s legs made my dick harder than I thought possible. The adrenaline of the fight when he snapped and shoved me off the bed. The way he turned docile so fast when I started barking orders.
Shit’s got me fucked up.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Gem says, pulling herself upright in her seat with both hands gripping the table.
When she has to steady herself climbing to her feet, I smile up at her. “Got it?”
She smirks and places a kiss on my nose. “Yes, Dad.”
Marisol laughs. “Don’t you mean Daddy?”
The roommates explode into giggles once more and Gem, bless her heart, turns a nice shade of pink as she tosses them a look and escapes down the hallway.
“Honestly, I think it’s the end for me,” Marisol says, climbing to her feet and taking the last sip of her wine. “I’m exhausted. How did it get so late?”
I pull out my phone to check the time as the twins start helping each other to their feet.
Nearly eleven.
“We’re going into food comas in our beds as well,” Lana says, leaving the room arm in arm with Eva.
“Taylor, we’ll do the kitchen first thing in the morning,” Marisol says, as she starts to follow the twins out of the room. “Don’t you dare clean it up. ”
“Goodnight,” I call after them and then turn to Ainsley, who’s being uncharacteristically quiet. “You okay over there?”
My words shake him out of whatever daydream he was lost in, and he tosses a look my way before quickly looking back down at his wine glass. “Yeah. I’m just full and tired. Dinner was so good, Taylor. You really are an incredible cook. I don’t know what you’re doing at the college cafeteria. You should open your own place.”
I push up to my feet and swallow the sharp remark that rises to the tip of my tongue. “I’m going to get started on the dishes.” I made no promises to those girls to leave this mess overnight, and I now officially need a reason to leave Ainsley at the table. The last fucking thing I want to do is listen to compliments or offer excuses about why my life is where it is.
Especially not to this rich kid, who I’m sure has never made a hard decision in his life.
I’m scraping the last of the unused dough into the garbage when I hear Gem come back down the hallway and join Ainsley at the table.
“You're staying the night, right?” I hear Gem ask.
I hold my breath and wait for his answer, equally hopeful that he’ll stay and that he’ll go.
“I really have to get home to my dog. He’s old and not used to being left alone all night.”
I’m leaning just inside the doorway to the kitchen, eavesdropping. What I hear next has my whole nervous system in turmoil.
“You should come back to the apartment with me,” he tells her. “That’s allowed, right?”
I seethe as I hear him check her boundaries. I shouldn’t, it’s probably polite behavior all things considered. I just can’t get over the idea of him trying to get rid of me. I spent this whole night waiting to get the two of them alone, and the thought of them alone—without me—is too much for me to handle at this moment.
I take one last glance back at the dishes, at what I should be doing with my night while allowing these two people to have a bit of privacy to get to know each other, but all rationality seems to have left my body.I step into the hallway, still drying my hands on a kitchen towel. “You know,” I say, too quickly, too loud, cutting Gem off as she starts to speak but unable to stop myself. “I never got the full tour of your place the other night.”
They’re both watching me like I’m insane. Maybe I am. “I’d love to see the upstairs.”
I lock eyes with Ainsley over Gem’s head and watch the war raging in his eyes. He’s not going to call me out. He’s not going to tell me to go fuck myself. But he wants to.
“Yeah,” he says finally, slipping his arm around Gem’s torso and pulling her back to his chest as they sit closely in their chairs at the table, never taking his eyes off mine. “We should all go.”
His words drop into the air, so obviously heavy with meaning, that we all fall silent for a second. Gem narrows her eyes at me before turning to Ainsley. I can’t see the look she gives him, but I watch him hold her gaze for a long moment before smiling and returning his attention to me. “As long as you don’t need to stay and clean up.”
“I should make you clean up.” It’s too harsh, and I’m not one bit surprised when Gem’s gaze shoots back to me, brow furrowed.
Ainsley takes it in stride. “I’m off the clock, boss.”
I need to get us back on track, back on level ground, so I don’t risk pissing off Gem and ending this whole night before it even begins. “The girls said they’d clean it up in the morning. I’ll just grab my coat.”
Ainsley pushes up to his feet and helps Gem up, keeping his hands on her body protectively. I have to bite my lip to keep from groaning out loud at the sight of it. Of him touching her, protecting her. Of what I’ll get to watch him do to her with those hands later.
“Perfect. We’ll just leave all these dishes and food scraps and mess to harden and attract bugs overnight,” Ainsley says.
His matter-of-fact tone draws my attention away from the straight up porn going on in my mind, and I narrow my eyes at him. He’s trying to get a rise out of me.
And while the thought of walking away from this mess, knowing damn well it will still be here, dry and disgusting, when I come back to get ready for work in the morning, I don’t let him get to me.
“Fine by me,” I say, cool and collected.
“Great. It’s fine with me, too,” he says back, taking a step toward me.
I hold my ground.
“Oh my god. Will you two just fuck already and get it over with?”
Gem’s tipsy outburst doesn’t faze me. I hold Ainsley's gaze and watch with delight as his eyes go all deer in the headlights.
His head turns to her too quickly for his wine addled brain. I catch his arm as he sways and he yanks it out of my grasp, choosing to steady himself on the wall instead.
“Ainsley's not gay,” I tell Gem, gaze still locked on him.
She coughs out a surprised laugh. “Wait, you two talked about this already?”
“Yeah,” I say, at the same time Ainsley says “No.”
Gem laughs again, this time for real. “Which is it?”
Ainsley starts to answer, but I beat him to it. “I told him he’d like it if I sucked his dick, and he said his father wouldn’t approve.”
Ainsley sputters beside me. “That’s not true?— ”
Gem turns on me, hands on her hips. “You know, maybe we should all just call it a night. I do have class tomorrow.”
“No,” Ainsley and I nearly shout in unison.
Gem’s face slides into an amused smirk. “Oh, really. So you guys can agree on something, huh?”
I shove Ainsley to the side and take a few quick steps toward her, backing her into the wall in the narrow, dimly lit hallway. When I lean down to rest my forehead against hers, she looks up at me, questioning and defiant.
“We agree on a lot of things, witch,” I tell her, voice low and intimate. “Do you want us to show you a few?”
She nods, any sign of calling it off slipping out of her expression as she bites her lower lip. I know her imagination is going wild.
“Get your coat then.”