16. Autumn
Ididn’t know how long I had been sleeping for but the sun was high up in the sky when I woke up. It had just been rising when I’d fallen asleep, exhausted and drained.
I felt groggy and I was starving. I should have eaten something before going to sleep but, then again, I was used to being hungry. It was my version of normal.
I hadn’t been here for very long and I was already getting used to things, like having access to food whenever I wanted it.
My heart sank just thinking about my life at the camp and all of my people who were now all dead.
I didn’t want to think anymore about it right now because it would cripple me and I needed my strength about me if I was going to be able to make it through the day.
I thought I knew what the day had in store for me and I was going to have to open up about what life had been like at the camp and basically everything that I was never supposed to speak about.
I didn’t want to go there but with everyone being dead I wasn’t going to allow myself to be a coward like I usually was.
I looked around the room and had to rub at my eyes to make sure they weren’t playing tricks on me.
But, no, they weren’t and what I had seen appeared to be the real thing.
The whole coven was spread out across the room. Most of them were sitting on the floor with their backs propped up against the wall and they were sleeping. Liam was stretched out across the foot of the bed and I was thankful he hadn’t tried to get into bed beside me to sleep because that might have freaked me out just a little bit to wake up to.
My stomach rumbled and I knew I couldn’t stay in here in this bed for much longer. I was starving and if I didn’t eat soon I’d end up with no energy and I’d probably end up forced to spend more time back in this comfortable bed.
As much as I wanted to spend more time in this room with them where it was safe and comfortable I couldn’t do it.
I still couldn’t believe they were all in here with me.
I carefully climbed out of bed and tiptoed my way into the bathroom. I did my business quickly and wrapped a pretty white silk robe around myself after washing my hands and splashing some water on my face.
I opened the door and a scream lodged in my throat.
Raven was standing there just staring at me. I must have woken him up somehow.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me along behind him out of the room and down the hallway.
“I’ll make you something to eat,” he murmured to me in a sexy voice rough with sleep. “I wanted you to eat something last night but it seemed more more important to leave you alone and let you get some sleep. Are you feeling any better today?”
I thought about how to answer him as we made our way down the stairs. I didn’t want to lie to him. “I’m going to be okay. I just feel a little empty right now. I think I might have cried out all of my emotions last night and I might still be a little bit in shock or something. I just can’t believe they’re all dead. I really am all alone in the world now.”
He stopped abruptly and turned to face me. He gently cupped my cheeks in his big hands. “You’re here now and you’re never going to be alone again. Your life is never going to go back to anything like that. You have people now and you’ll always be protected. You don’t have anything to worry about now.”
It was the strangest thing but I actually believed him.
He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against mine in a chaste kiss. There one second and then gone the next.
He blinked as if he were the one in shock here. “Sorry. I can’t seem to help myself. I’ll try to do better. Finn’s in the living room, I can feel him. I’ll go get started on breakfast.”
He let me go and practically ran away from me, leaving me standing there speechless watching his back as he retreated to the kitchen.
Just what in the hell was going on around here? My life was very quickly becoming out of my control and I liked this part of it a whole lot, which surprised me and scared the crap out of me at the same time.
I brushed my fingertips over my bottom lip. I wanted more of his sweet kisses. I kind of wanted them all to kiss me.
What was the matter with me? These types of thoughts and feelings had been forbidden to ever act upon.
Then again so had a lot of things and that was no longer my way of life. I needed to start living in my new world and embracing it to the fullest.
Finn was in the living room on the couch, all by himself. The tv was on but he wasn’t watching it. Instead he was staring off out the window with a blank look on his face.
“Finn,” I called out quietly as I sat on the couch with him, not close enough to be within touching distance or anything.
I didn’t have a problem with Finn but I didn’t know him anymore. And he’d been gone so long I wasn’t entirely sure I’d come to terms with him being alive yet.
People didn’t just come back from the dead out of nowhere.
He looked at me and did a slow blink, as if he was just waking up from a dream or something. “I’m sorry, Autumn. Did you say something?”
Finn was clearly out of it and I almost felt bad for disturbing him. We all deserved our peace when we needed it.
“Everyone’s dead now, Finn.” I swallowed, choking back down the emotions. “They’re all gone and it’s just you and me left now.”
“I know,” he whispered as he reached out to touch me. He thought better of it, dropped his hand quickly, and tucked it under his thigh. “You’re free now, Autumn. I know it doesn’t feel like a blessing but it is. You were always too good for that place and those people. Embrace this new life that you’ve been given and don’t ever look back. It’s best if you just forget about that all and move on with your new life.”
I gaped at him as he got up and shuffled his way out of the room.
I knew he meant well and he was probably in shock too or something but he was wrong. I couldn’t just forget them and move on with my life as if nothing had ever happened. They had been my people, that had been my whole entire life. It was really gone now that they were all dead.
That wasn’t something you just moved on from as if it were nothing.
They’d all been brutally murdered by our own people. I didn’t care that he’d escaped them years ago, he’d grown up there just like I had, they were still his people whether he liked it or not.
Honestly, what was the matter with him? He’d grown so cold.
“I’m not the best cook around here,” Raven said as he came up behind me, making me jump. He looked sheepish as he sat the tray down on the coffee table. “Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you. I made you scrambled eggs, toast, and sausage links. With some orange juice. There’s enough for Finn here too. Where did he go?”
“Finn was weird and ran off. Thanks for the food, Raven. I really should learn how to cook so I can start making my own food. You all don’t need to be waiting on me all the time.”
He looked at me sternly. “We like doing it for you. It’s our pleasure. What do you mean Finn got weird?”
I shrugged as I forked up some eggs and stuffed them into my mouth. I hadn’t ever had scrambled eggs before coming here, like most things, but they were quickly becoming a favorite of mine. “Mmm,” I moaned happily. “So good.”
He smiled indulgently at me as he watched me eat everything on my plate. Only when I was done eating and he’d watched the whole show did he pick up the other fork and eat the food that he’d said he’d made for Finn.
I sat back and sipped from the glass of orange juice as I returned the favor and watched him eat. It felt very intimate how he watched me back the whole time. I wasn’t uncomfortable though. I almost felt a strange closeness to him that I’d never felt before.
“Why were you all sleeping in my room?” I felt brave enough to ask when he finished eating and sat his fork down on the empty plate.
“We couldn’t stay away from you. I think it’s obvious that we’re all drawn to you in some way. It’s starting and I think this time it’s actually right. There’s a bond that’s beginning to form between all of us, I think. Can’t you feel it? Sometimes it can happen to the really lucky people when they form their coven. It’s probably because your magic is so strong and you were in such a state of need when we found you that it started reaching out to us. You can try to fight it but I don’t think it will matter in the end. Your heart and your soul will always belong with your rightful coven.”
My heart started beating frantically inside of my chest.
I wanted to stay and I certainly felt drawn to all of them in a way I had never been to anyone else before. But that didn’t mean I was ready for some type of commitment to them or anything more than that.
I was scared and I knew better than to just trust them because they’d been kind to me.
But I wanted what he was offering to me.
Almost desperately so.
I just wasn’t sure if I was capable of being brave enough to go for it and accept what they were offering.
Bravery wasn’t exactly my strong suit.