Chapter 19
19
POPPY
If Mum could see me now, she’d barely be able to believe it. Hobnobbing with Cole Crawford and his family, being introduced to their celebrity friends, and being welcomed as though I was a good friend. I was on an absolute high, but it wasn’t just from meeting the Crawfords and friends – it was Joel. I’d caught his eye a few times and, when he smiled at me, butterflies went wild in my stomach. I wasn’t planning to act on the feeling, but it was so nice to have that sensation again.
Just before 7p.m. guests were invited to move into the Rowan Room where the bride and groom would be taking to the floor for their first dance. Phil and I followed the crowd and paused just inside the doorway, taking in the high ceiling, grand embellishments and the sparkling chandeliers catching the colourful lights. Surrounding the dance floor were plush chairs and round tables covered in fresh white linen with floral centrepieces and dried flower confetti on them. There were a couple of pretty sweetie carts in one corner and I could imagine them being a huge hit with children and adults alike, and there was a bar beside the entrance. We already had drinks so we made our way to the edge of the dance floor where the guests had gathered to watch the first dance.
‘Good evening!’ announced the DJ. ‘For the guests who’ve just joined us this evening, your bride and groom bid you a warm welcome and for those who’ve been here a little longer, they hope you’re enjoying yourselves. We’ll be welcoming the newlyweds for their first dance very soon, after which the bride and bridesmaids have something special lined up. They’ve asked me to invite you to join in partway through, so watch those moves carefully. The third song will be for absolutely everyone. I’m excited for tonight, I’m open to requests and I wish you all a fantastic evening. Without further ado, please welcome Mr and Mrs Kinsella for their first dance as a married couple!’
To applause, cheers and some wolf whistles, Amber and Barney walked to the centre of the dance floor, holding hands and beaming at each other. They’d chosen ‘My Universe’ by Coldplay featuring K-pop sensations BTS. I hadn’t listened closely to the lyrics before but the chorus was so uplifting and apt for a first wedding song. From the way they were looking at each other, Amber and Barney clearly were each other’s universe. I remembered feeling that way about Phil. Would I feel that way again? I glanced up at Phil and he smiled at me, giving me a warm glow of friendship. Moments later, my eyes locked with Joel’s across the other side of the dance floor and the butterflies in my stomach soared as he smiled back at me.
‘My Universe’ came to a close with the happy couple kissing. Barney left the dance floor, but Amber stayed and was joined by her bridesmaids. They organised themselves into a formation of four at the front and five at the back.
‘Do we have any Swifties in the room?’ the DJ asked.
There were several loud cheers, and I laughed as Imogen bounced up and down, clapping her hands. I put my hand in the air and so did Phil.
‘That’s a relief,’ he said, ‘because it’s over to Taylor for the next one. I’m told this was Imogen’s idea, that she and Sophie choreographed it together via Zoom and this is the first time all nine have been in the same room at the same time, so what could possibly go wrong? I give you your bride and bridesmaids with Taylor Swift’s “Paper Rings”. Enjoy!’
I adored Taylor Swift’s music and was full of admiration for everything she’d achieved in her career so far. The routine Imogen and Sophie had prepared was delightful and a great mix of different dance styles. I found myself copying the moves as I became familiar with them. Looking round the edge of the dance floor, I smiled at the other guests doing the same.
‘Are you going to join in?’ I asked Phil.
‘Have I ever mastered a dance routine?’ he replied, raising his eyebrows at me.
As a musician, Phil had great rhythm but, in all the years I’d known him, had remained incapable of committing any sort of dance routine to memory, no matter how simple. He couldn’t even master ‘Y.M.C.A.’ despite being repeatedly told it was just a case of forming the appropriate letter with his arms. He’d manage the ‘Y’ and it would descend into chaos from there.
‘You go,’ he encouraged. ‘I’ll film it for your dad.’
I smiled at him gratefully. Dad used to love dancing and had always been the first on the floor at any parties, often leading the moves.
When the DJ announced that it was time to join in, Amber and her bridesmaids shuffled forwards into one long row so the guests could stand behind them for guidance, not that that helped when the direction changed. Joel took his position behind Imogen and, in a moment of bravery, I stood next to him and was rewarded with another of his dazzling smiles. He wasn’t the best, bless him, turning the wrong way and colliding with me a couple of times, but he scored full marks for trying. It was so lovely laughing together.
The track changed to Olly Murs’s ‘Marry Me’ and the DJ invited everyone on to the dance floor to throw whatever shapes they wanted. My heart melted as Joel picked Imogen up and hugged her tightly.
‘That was brilliant,’ he told her. ‘I’m so proud of you, my little Swiftie.’
‘Great song choice,’ I said. ‘I love Taylor Swift too.’
Imogen beamed at me. ‘She’s the best! My dress is all better now, too.’
‘So I see. You’d never have known it was purple a couple of hours ago.’
‘Thanks again for helping her,’ Joel said.
‘You’re welcome. And thanks for helping me with my ready meal dilemma.’ I inwardly cringed. Could I not have thought of something better to say? But what else could I say when his daughter was with us?
Imogen announced that she was thirsty and pulled Joel towards the bar. He gave me an apologetic look. ‘You’re sticking around all night?’
I hadn’t been planning to but the word, ‘Yes,’ popped out, sending my butterflies flapping once more.
‘Good. I’ll see you later, then.’
I nodded, smiling. Can’t wait!
‘I was thinking about our first dance,’ Phil said when I re-joined him and we found a table away from the dance floor. ‘I still can’t believe I stood on your dress.’
‘Several times, I recall, although you weren’t the only one. It was covered in footprints by the end of the night.’
‘We had a good marriage, didn’t we?’ The tone and expression were a little uncertain, as though he was worried that I might be hurt that it was over and he’d met someone new, but that had never been the case. It was sad that we hadn’t made it, but ending it had been right for us both and I still loved him, but only as a friend.
I gave him a reassuring smile. ‘We absolutely did. You know how they talk about happy ever afters in books and films? I think we were that other variation – the happy for now – but you’ve found your happy ever after since then with Reina and Eliana.’
‘I’d like you to find your happy ever after too.’
‘Me too, but finding someone is so difficult. My two attempts after you weren’t exactly resounding successes.’
‘You can’t let Mr-Coffee-Is-Code-For-Sex-Tosspot put you off.’
I laughed at the nickname. ‘I know there are good men out there, but timing’s everything and my life has been an emotional mess for quite some time. It’s a lot to put on someone new, so it’s easier not to try to. And, of course, now I’ve been so long out of the game that it feels a bit too scary to play again.’
‘I completely get that, but what about doing something each day that scares you?’
I rolled my eyes at him. ‘That phrase is haunting me at the moment. I’m still trying to live by it, but it’s not easy.’
‘You deserve a good man and good friends, Pops, because you’re one of the loveliest people I’ve ever met.’
‘Thank you. Right back at ya.’
‘And, actually, timing might be everything, but sometimes what can seem the worst possible timing can turn out to be the best. Life’s chaotic. I say embrace the chaos!’
Embrace the chaos! I liked that a lot. I spotted Joel near the bar. Timing really was terrible right now, but could it turn out to be spot on? The butterflies soared at the thought.
Fizz and Samantha appeared and pulled Phil and me onto the dance floor. My eyes keep getting drawn to Joel, who was now dancing with Imogen. He was clearly a doting dad and he looked so adorable. Every so often, he looked across and smiled at me, setting my heart pounding. I was fairly sure he was interested in me and he had to have found out that Phil and I weren’t a couple because surely he wouldn’t keep smiling at me if he thought we were together. Also, he’d specifically asked me if I’d be around all night and why ask that unless he knew that Phil wasn’t my partner and would be leaving early? Perhaps he was biding his time until Phil left before asking me to dance or offering me a drink. The thought made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Phil and I took a break from dancing to visit the photo booth. I’d never seen so many props and I took several selfies of us wearing hats, feather boas and colourful sunglasses. We were about to leave when Amber appeared, so Phil took a photo of the pair of us together in a heart-shaped frame. She soon enlisted the rest of the bridesmaids and it would have been so easy to feel like the odd one out but they all made me feel like part of their tribe, shuffling places so that they could each stand next to me at some point. Fizz rounded up Barney and the groomsmen too and I could hardly believe I was being included in such special photos as though I was a lifelong friend. The whole evening was completely surreal – first meeting Cole Crawford and now this!
We’d pretty much exhausted the props when the official photographer came over to take more photos of Amber and Barney. He asked if the wedding party could stick around so he could get fun ones of them too. I placed the feather boa, sparkly cowboy hat and heart-shaped sunglasses I’d been wearing for the last photo back in the correct boxes and stood back to watch.
A call came through for Phil and he excused himself, telling me he’d be back as soon as possible. I was enjoying watching so I stayed where I was. As the photographer snapped a photo of the newlyweds with the best man and chief bridesmaid, Imogen joined me.
‘Are you having fun?’ I asked her.
She nodded enthusiastically.
‘Have you been to a wedding before?’
‘I went to Mummy’s when she married Greg but I was only three and I don’t remember it. Mummy was going to marry Daddy, but she told him she didn’t want to marry him two weeks before their wedding and Grandma Ivy says that’ll have cost Daddy a lot of money and it was mean of her to leave it so late but better late than on the day. Grandma Ivy doesn’t like Mummy very much.’
‘Grandma Ivy is your daddy’s mum?’ I asked, thinking she’d be quite justified in thinking ill of Imogen’s mum if she really had left Joel a fortnight before their wedding.
‘No. She’s Mummy’s mum. They don’t like each other. Daddy’s mum is that lady in the blue flowery dress.’ She pointed to a woman in a pretty calf-length dress, dancing to ABBA’s ‘Super Trouper’ with a man in a light-coloured suit. ‘She’s my Grandma Audrey and she’s really nice but she can’t live in this country because the weather’s too cold and her Arthurs hurt her.’
I stifled a smile at the visual which popped into my head of several tiny Arthurian knights jabbing her with their swords. Presumably Imogen meant arthritis, but I wasn’t going to correct her.
‘She lives in Portugal with Granddad Trevor,’ Imogen continued. ‘He’s the man dancing with her and he’s nice too. Daddy wants to take me to visit them but Mummy won’t let him because she says it’s not fair on Leighton, Ezra and Delphine but Leighton’s mummy takes him on an aeroplane every summer so I don’t see why I can’t go on one but Daddy doesn’t like to make Mummy angry so I can only see Grandma Audrey and Granddad Trevor when they fly to this country.’
That was an enormous information dump, and I had no idea who Leighton, Ezra and Delphine were, but I nodded as though I understood and didn’t proffer any sort of opinion, not wishing for my ill-informed comments to be used as evidence in what sounded like a complicated family set-up. Thankfully Imogen changed the subject.
‘I like your dress. I don’t have any orange clothes. It’s a very happy colour.’
‘Thank you. Amber gave me it which was super kind of her. It’s the first orange clothing I’ve ever owned and I really like it, but do you know what my favourite colour is? Sage green like on your dress.’
She spun round, fanning out the skirt as Joel joined us.
‘Are you showing off your twirly dress again?’ he asked her.
‘Poppy says it’s her favourite colour. My favourite colour is yellow because it’s like the sunshine, but I like orange too like Poppy’s dress, and I like my dress.’
‘Imogen has declared she’s never going to take her dress off,’ Joel told me. ‘I said she might need to when she has a bath.’
‘I’ve never been a bridesmaid, but I once had a party dress I loved so much. It was pink and sparkly with lots of sequins on the top like yours, Imogen. I never wanted to take it off either so, when I went to bed that night, I kept it on. My mum came in to check on me, and she had to take it off and put me in a nightie. When she woke me up in the morning, I had my party dress on again so I must have got up in the night and changed. But it’s not a good idea to do that because I had little scratches all down my arms from where I’d been lying on the sequins. Best not to wear pretty dresses in bed.’
Imogen was called to join the other bridesmaids for some final photos, leaving Joel and me together.
‘Thanks for warning her about the sequins,’ he said, smiling at me. ‘I think I might have had to wrestle her out of it otherwise.’
‘You’re welcome. As soon as I started telling the story, I realised I might be encouraging some mischief, but at least it came with a warning.’
‘I hear you’re—’ he began but Phil returned at that point, apologising for abandoning me. He looked from me to Joel and back to me and I realised too late that he was looking for an introduction.
‘You must be the best man,’ he said, putting out his hand and smiling at Joel. ‘I’m Phil, Poppy’s friend.’
‘Joel. Good to meet you.’
There was an awkward pause, and I hoped Phil wouldn’t fill it with an attempt to matchmake because that would be too embarrassing, but he stuck to a safe subject.
‘You’re a friend of the groom’s or a relative?’
‘Best mate since secondary school. We bonded over a shared hatred of PE lessons.’
Phil laughed. ‘I can relate to that. I hated PE. You did too, didn’t you, Pops?’
I nodded. ‘The PE teacher was terrifying. Instilled a lifelong fear of sports in me.’
‘Must be part of the job description,’ Joel said. ‘Mine was terrifying too. Never took up any sports because of him.’
‘You don’t play rugby?’ I asked, instantly blushing because it was those broad shoulders of his which had made me think about the sport.
‘I often get told I look like a rugby player, but I was small and skinny back then and each time I was in a scrum, I feared for my life.’
Phil had been small and skinny at school too and shared that he’d broken his arm getting tackled in rugby, but that it gave him a lifetime pass out of the game which he saw as a massive bonus. By the time he’d relayed that tale, the photographer was finished, the DJ put on the biggest song of the moment, and we were pulled onto the dance floor with the bridal party.
A couple of songs later, Avicii’s ‘Wake Me Up’ started playing and Phil announced his lift had arrived and he’d have to go. I looked around to catch Joel’s eye but he’d been dragged into some sort of bouncing scrum with Barney and two of the ushers and wasn’t looking my way. I left to walk Phil out to the car park.
‘I’ve had a great time today,’ Phil said. ‘Who knew being a last-minute plus one at a wedding could be so much fun?’
‘Next time I wangle an invite to a showbiz wedding, I’ll make sure I give you a shout.’
‘They’re a good bunch. I hope you’re going to return to that dance floor when I’m gone.’
They’d made me feel so welcome that I had been planning to, but the cold breeze blew my confidence away. ‘I’ll probably go to bed now as it’ll be strange being there on my own.’
‘You’re not on your own! You’ve got a room full of new friends and I bet they’ll miss you if you don’t return. Big girl pants again!’
‘Still got them on from before,’ I said, laughing. ‘This whole wedding thing has been one long doing something today that scares me.’
‘But you’ve kept facing that fear and you’ve had a great time so why walk away now?’
I glanced in the direction of the function room. I wasn’t tired yet and, if I went to bed now, I’d regret it. It had been a long time since I let my hair down so why end the evening prematurely?
‘Okay.’
‘Good. But I have another challenge for you. I know it’ll scare you, but I want you to dance with the best man and if that leads to a lot more than dancing, run with it.’
‘Phil! You think I should have a one-night stand?’ My cheeks flushed, but my body fizzed with delight at the thought of it.
‘It might be fun.’
‘But I’ve… well, I… It’s just that…’
‘There’s a first time for everything,’ he said, connecting the dots for me. ‘A bit of no-strings fun might do you the world of good. Look at what you’ve already achieved in just one week. You’ve come on holiday on your own and you’ve had an amazing time. You’ve accepted an invite to a wedding from people you don’t know. You’ve made some new friends including the one and only Cole Crawford. Last week, could you have imagined doing any of those things?’
‘No, but?—’
‘But you did them and you loved them. So why not add in another new experience?’
I held my hands up to my burning cheeks. ‘This is a surreal conversation to be having with my ex-husband.’
He laughed. ‘It is a bit. Let’s say goodnight and leave it there.’
We hugged each other and he kissed me on the cheek. ‘I’ve loved seeing the brave new Poppy this evening.’
He got into his Uber and waved as they pulled away and I watched the car disappear down the long driveway. I did feel brave today, but I wasn’t sure I was anywhere brave enough to do what Phil had suggested. A dance with Joel would be amazing and if that led to a drink together and maybe a kiss, that would be pretty special too. A zip of electricity raced through me as I imagined his hands in my hair, his lips on mine.
I returned to the hotel lobby, the warmth giving me a welcome hug. The sounds of laughter and music called to me but suddenly it all felt a little overwhelming. I’d socialised a lot today and, for someone who spent most of their days working alone with only the occasional one-sided conversation with next door’s dog, I was feeling a bit peopled-out. I needed a spot of me time to recharge my batteries and then I’d return to the party. If I went to my bedroom, there was a danger I’d get too comfortable and talk myself out of returning but if I went out onto the terrace Blaine had directed me to earlier, I’d still be able to hear the music and laughter and feel that party vibe without the pressure of socialising.
I grabbed my coat from my room and made my way to the terrace. As anticipated, it was empty but it didn’t mean it’d stay that way so I tucked myself away at a table behind some large screened-off potted plants so nobody would spot me if they did come out for some fresh air.
Sitting back, I gazed into the darkness thinking about the conversation I’d just had with Phil. I hadn’t said anything to him about being attracted to Joel, but it boded well that he’d picked it up from both of us. Could I do as he’d suggested? Tempting as it was, a one-night stand felt like a step too far for me. It wasn’t just several years since I’d slept with a man, it was also several since I’d kissed one. One step at a time. Could I kiss a stranger at a wedding? When that stranger was Joel, it was a very appealing thought. And if that did lead to something else… Despite my voice of protest, that was also an appealing thought.