Chapter 27
INFORMATION OVERLOAD
“Things were simple then. You lived in a quiet village, surrounded by love—your mother and me. But you started staying out longer. Every evening you would go get water from the well until one day you just didn’t come back. We searched forever, it seemed.” Her confession tugs at my knowing.
“I’ve seen this in my dreams. The wheat field with hidden thistle,” I say more to myself.
“All we found was the water pail close to the edge of the woods. And instead of water in the pail, there was only blood. You were gone to us.” Lollie’s eyes gloss over remembering.
I can tell it’s hard, but she continues.
“And we were broken, thinking you were gone forever. We didn’t know you would come back as a mortal again, whether he found you or not. ”
“But instead, I’ve been set up to live out this torment, life after life…” I look at her, tears swelling with rage. How could she not know the pain this would cause?
“That’s not fair. We were trying to give you freedom. Your mother wanted you to live.” I scoff at her words. Lollie doesn’t realize their contradiction. They wanted me to live, but I feel like I die a million times every time I slip that ring on.
“We tried, Jade. To keep you safe. We knew we had to try harder. But in the next life in Scotland, he gave you that ring. Now, no matter how hard we tried to keep an eye on you, you found your way to each other. But at least this time we had something to bury.” And as she mentions it, I feel overwhelmingly conscious of the circle around my finger. Of the power he forged into it.
I turn my head, and close my eyes tight. Tears stinging at the corners. Not wanting to think about the last part she mentioned.
“So, you were there?” I ask, even though I know what her answer will be.
“Yes, Jade, I was. I was always there along with your mother. We tried harder each time to keep him from finding you. Sometimes it worked, but others…well, you were eventually lost to us,” Lollie says.
“There are details I’ve lost…” I stammer. There is so much I don’t understand. I remember the events of my past lives, but what exactly the others are seems just out of grasp.
“Let me explain more. In another life, we found you in France…the Romantic era. I could tell you were fond of this time. You lived fully and unapologetically.” Lollie smiles at this.
I remember dancing with friends under the careful watch of the glowing moon. Some warm memories come to me, but I realize they were forever fleeting.
“We became very good at finding you at the start of each of your lives. Your birth mother never survived—for your soul was never fully anchored to her. Your true mother always found you, with me by her side. It's one gift of being us. And being you.”
“So why did she leave me? If she is so gifted as you say…” I feel betrayed and, even worse, I feel deserted.
“Willows can’t survive long away from water, love.” She looks at me then, knowing exactly what comes to mind. Our late-night drives to the countryside. The memory warms me, but what does it have to do with my mother leaving?
Lollie continues, reminding me of all the memories that surfaced on Ry’s townhouse floor.
“In that life you lived a life of privilege, so we could always have our eye on you. But through the war, he found you. This time as a soldier. We did our best to watch your every waking moment, but in the end—we failed again. Even worse than before. They both found you then.” Lollie’s face grows dim.
She speaks of Ry and Que, in a time when they were friends.
“They turned you into something you were not, Jade. I thought Carya cared for you more than what he let happen. Quercus found Jimsonweed on one of his travels abroad.” Lollie’s eyes water at the memory, as she absentmindedly spins a creamy iridescent stone ring around on her right finger.
I quickly remembered my vision of the room full of art. The two men with me and another woman. The white moonflowers creeping up the windows, and the feeling of hallucinating. This must be the life she speaks of.
My head throbs. To know these visions I’ve had all my life were not straying me from reality, but actually were my reality.
“So, Quercus must be Que, but why do you call Ry that? Carya. That is my cat’s name.” I ask, still trying to grasp onto bits and pieces and linking them to my memories, visions and what Lollie is laying out in front of me.
“Why do you think you named your cat that, Jade? The subconscious can do a number on our tangible lives. Carya is Ry’s full name.
” She pauses, causing my mind to go back, trying to remember.
Why did I name my cat Carya? It was just an odd name that just popped into my head, but perhaps it was more than that. A link.
She continues, “It is also another name for Hickory.”
Hickory? The book I read at the estate comes to mind. Why didn’t I see it before? I can tell Lollie is deciding whether she should continue, but she does.
“This is where things will get a little weird, so bear with me. Try to remember. Carya is not of this world, but of a world beneath the roots.” Yes, I know. She goes on, “The Rooted Realm. He rules the realm below…”
“The hickory tree,” I interrupt her in a whisper. I had felt it all along.
“Yes, good. He is an ancient being with more power than any human could fathom—and you were his way to have more.” My heart wrenches at her statement.
At this point, not much can shock me, but this does. I’ve seen so much play out in the fabric of my being since putting the ring on. I know what she says is true, but why couldn’t I access his name before? I must say this aloud, because Lollie responds.
“Since you are in a mortal body, not all memories are available to you about your past lives. The Beings have authority that way, and the curse put on you has restrictions we could not change because of your being rooted in the realms beneath.”
“But what about you? Who are you? My mother. She is connected to the willow. I know this.” I think of the small magnolia tree Lollie planted next to her house. The one in front of the estate. It clicks.
“My true name is Magnolia, but I’ve grown used to Lollie by now. Your mother Sal, short for Salix, another name for Willow, which is what your soul recognizes her as. We are both lesser tree beings,” Lollie says and smiles softly.
My universe stops. A flood to my system. I knew this in my bones all along. My mother and the tree I hold dear with all my heart are one and the same.
“But then why did my mother die, yet you are still here?” She must read the confusion on my face.
“We need to be near our trees to survive on this land, and there aren’t many willows in Detroit. The one by the cemetery was our closest, but even that was too far. And that last time we paid it a visit, her life force was just too low already.” I think of how my mother faded every year.
I know this is hard for her to talk about, just as it is hard to hear.
“You have heard her, I believe. She always tries to come through to you.” Lollie lets the last part sink in before she continues. “That is also why we have Ash. He came after your third life of being found went into such disarray. We knew we needed help.” That much is clear, I think.
Lollie keeps going, “Ash is a tree Being your mother and I trusted. We still do. It shouldn’t be hard for you to guess which rooted realm he rules over.
” Lollie winks at me, but her humor is lost in my mistrust, and rightly so.
I still have so many questions, but I ask the one weighing most on my mind.
“But what does Carya, no Ry, want with me?” His name feels funny on my tongue, when the only Carya I’ve known is my orange stray tabby, perched in the corner feeling my desperation from across the room.
“The same thing that all the higher tree Beings want. Your blood.” She looks down then.
“Your blood would make any tree Being reek of power, but you were promised to Carya. Your mother and I just wanted to protect you. We couldn’t stand by and watch your essence be drained.
” She eyes me intently. Hoping I understand.
“We cast your spirit into a stone to keep you safe.” At the mention of a stone, the one on my ring shimmers. I can’t seem to take it off.
“It wasn’t a simple choice. There were setbacks that Willow couldn’t live with. With some help, we tied your soul to a mortal life. By breaking the stone, you were free to be reborn in human form,” Lollie’s words weighted.
Realization sets in. This was the stone. Pieced back together by Ry. For the sake of love or ego? Could it be both? Placing it on made me remember. Part of me wished it didn’t.
“It wasn’t perfect, but it kept you safe—until now,” Lollie looks at the ring on my left hand.
“Inlaid with thistle thorns, so he can find you once your blood marks the earth. Even a drop. Or, as you’ve found out, once you put it on—you remember.
” Just like that. My entire world falls apart with putting the wrong ring on the right girl.
“Either way, it’s disastrous. For your mind. For his hunger for you.” She focuses on me then with caring eyes that have seen me at my best, and apparently my worst.
“I…just…” My brain hurts. How could the life that I thought I knew everything about turn around with just the slip of a ring? My mind is a mess, cracked open, leaking all the bits I can’t hold any longer. Lollie must see this.
“Let’s head home, Jade. I think you need to rest. I’ll have Ash come by with some food.” She pulls her coat over my shoulders. It’s colder here. “We can talk more, but I think right now you just need a break from everything. You need sleep.”
With her arm around my shoulder, I feel like a child again. I lean into her. Focusing on one small but crucial detail—in the end, no one is who they seem.