Chapter 29 #2
She pulled her hands back, walking around the room to give him a minute to decide that he was going to eat after all.
A few moments passed, she walked around his room quietly, not looking at him.
And Amaal finally felt movement as he sat down on the chair.
She observed from the corner of her eye as he set her stash in his lap and opened her water bottle.
He hitched the rim of the bottle up and poured water into his mouth.
Her eyes trailed to the rapid movement of his throat, the sight so regular and yet doing something inside her.
Friend, she told herself. Nothing here, she drilled into herself.
Learn to stay away, she reminded herself. And still kept staring.
Her own throat felt dry as he finished her entire bottle in one go and capped it. His eyes raised to hers, and their gazes collided.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice low. As if he did not think he deserved water. Amaal walked to him, picked up the packet of potato wafers and tore it open — “You are saying thank you as if I brought you water in some desert. Here,” she offered the open bag to him. His eyebrows drew together.
“Eat, Samar. What was the last meal you had?” She buried her hand inside the packet, grabbed a wafer and stuffed it into her mouth.
“Yesterday.”
“Dinner?”
“Hmm.”
He was lying. She grabbed another wafer and stuffed it into his mouth. His head reared back but he crunched on it, eyes wide.
“What? Don’t look at me like I am feeding you trash.”
“Not trash…” his throat worked, his words coming out broken. Something was very wrong. That is why Amaal sat down on the bed in front of him and held the bag of wafers between them, reaching for more.
“I’ll take it,” He reached inside the pack before she could force-feed him.
She wasn’t planning to, but it was good that he was terrorised into eating.
She sat back, passing the bag to him, and turned her gaze away, letting him eat.
She did not see it, but heard the telltale crunching as he ate.
Kept eating. On one side, this felt too intimate, hearing him eat; on the other, she couldn’t help but feel…
torn at what had made him remain hungry and thirsty all day, maybe all of two days.
“There’s also biscuits…” She leaned to grab the pack resting on his thigh and his stance widened to stop her, just in time for her to stumble. He caught her shoulder and she stilled. Again, their eyes collided. A dangerous game.
“Biscuits…” she mumbled, holding the box up.
“I’m good.”
“You don’t like sweet stuff?”
He shook his head.
“Then you will like this.” She plucked the pack of spicy bhujiya and opened it. “Try.”
“Where did you get all this from?”
“It’s mine.”
Dark eyes lifted from taking a handful. “Yours?”
“Mine.”
A small, almost unconscious smile lit his mouth and was gone just as quickly. He threw the bhujiya mix into his mouth and chewed. This time, she had a front row seat.
“Shiva won’t let us in before lunchtime or I would have brought you whatever is being cooked for lunch.”
He shook his head. She sat silently then, as he grabbed fistfuls of bhujiya and continued eating.
“You don’t have a sweet tooth, no?”
He shook his head.
“But you ate two plates of ice cream in Jammu.”
“Hmm.”
“Samar.”
He glanced up. “You made a statement, I agreed.”
“Why did you eat ice cream in Jammu if you don’t like sweet?”
“I like sweet, not fond of it.”
“What are you fond of?”
His eyes seared into hers. Don’t go there, they said.
“I am asking as a colleague who has to carry her whole stash to you. If I knew what you like, next time I’ll only carry those things.”
His mouth curled again. “I’ll replace your stash.”
“Daaxsaab will go shopping for junk?”
His mouth opened in a chuckle, an adorable crinkle denting the cheekbone below his left eye.
“What?” Amaal pushed.
“Daaxsaab is extinct.”
“He is right here in front of me.”
Their eyes collided again. And this time, the momentary mirth seeped away, leaving something painful behind.
“We are even now,” she said, breaking through that pain.
“Even for what?”
“You brought me hot water bag and took me to eat carbs, I brought you…” she held up her bottle, “regular water and…”
“Junk.” He held the bag of bhujiya up. Amaal nodded.
“So, now I will have to do something back or we are done?”
She shrugged, enjoying this way too much. Step back, don’t banter, don’t make him talk.
Learn to live without him. Hold yourself back.
“Why did you ask if I was in Hajan?”
“Because of the typhoid breakout.”
He stopped eating. “What typhoid breakout?”
“KDP is gathering medical supplies and doctors to go. There is a paucity of doctors. I thought you had already gone.”
He shook his head.
“Do you think you can go? The entire town is being locked down and they don’t have enough medical staff…”
Samar left the fistful in his hand and folded the pack. He got to his feet, depositing everything on his chair.
“Where?”
“Hajan.”
“Samar.” She caught his elbow. He looked at her. She began to ask him what was wrong last night, but shook her head. Amaal left his elbow.
He gazed at her for a long moment. Then said — “Let it be.”
He reached for his specs in the neck of his T-shirt, put them on, and walked away.