Chapter 37 #2
“She did not know she was pregnant when we were captured. We discovered that together there. And she wanted to get out. More than anything she wanted to get out for that baby and I wanted her to get out. But I got to run and she didn’t.
I got to take forces back for her rescue and I failed at that.
And then, after her passing, within a year her husband remarried.
” Samar scoffed. “I got to keep her memory because she did not deserve to be wiped out. And Aamir Haider sure as hell did not get to go back home and live his cushy life after wiping her and her baby out.”
Amaal stared at this man, who had adopted a woman and her baby into his memory. What was this fortress that kept opening its doors and she kept venturing deeper and deeper and finding skeletons she could not even dislike anymore?
“You do not break myths about you.” She stepped towards him.
“I do not like talking.”
“Then what do you like?”
“Doing.”
Amaal kept walking until she stood toe to toe with him, the top of her head hitting his chin. He tipped it down, and the bristles of his stubble tickled the skin of her forehead. She raised her face, only for his nose and mouth to press into her eyebrow. Their eyes fell closed.
“If given a choice in life, what would you do differently, Samar?”
“I would not leave Chaturvedi there.”
“And Iram?”
“If I had not left Chaturvedi there, I would be dead already. Iram would not have suffered.”
“You still regret it?”
“Every day.”
“What would make you not regret it?”
His face pulled back. He looked at her, and his fingers pinched her chin delicately. His thumb ran a circle there, his eyes following the circle. “I am trying every day.”
She nodded, feeling something loosen in her chest. Her mouth opened in a yawn and he stepped back.
“Sorry,” she kept yawning. “I am not yawning at your words.”
He smiled. “I know. Go to sleep.”
“Hmm.”
His lips curled higher and his eyebrows rose.
She ignored him, turning and striding out of the kitchen. “Let me show you to your room and everything set up there, the AC is working on fan mode so let me see if…”
“I will sleep in the hall.”
“Why?”
“Better for security.”
“Nothing will happen.”
“I am not here for nothing.”
“I have been living here for the last five months!”
“And what hasn’t happened for five months won’t happen in the next five hours?”
She turned and Hmmmed so hard that a snort left his nostrils.
“Fine,” she reached the hall with its sectional sofa set. “I’ll put sheets here and bring your pillows…”
“No. This is fine.”
“This?” She looked down at the faux leather. “The material sticks to your skin. It’s very annoying when it’s hot, trust me.”
“I’m fine.”
“You will need water…”
“No.” He undid the top button of his shirt and sat down on the sofa.
“Lie down.”
“What?”
“Lie down, let me see you are not joking about sleeping here.”
He shook his head, but pulled off his socks and lay down on the sofa, head on the handrest.
“You are lying. You are still wearing your specs.”
“Take them off.”
“What? Me?”
He shrugged, closing his eyes. Amaal’s stomach fluttered. Kissing him was one thing, why was taking off his specs making this happen? She wetted her lips, then carefully stepped close to him. His eyes remained closed, his breathing gone slow.
“I am taking them off,” she warned, herself more than him.
He did not respond.
She bent over, gripped the sticks of his specs in her fingers and carefully began to pull them off. Dark eyes sprang open. And her body began to topple over.
Amaal caught herself in time but her hair toppled over her shoulders, hanging around their faces. Her breath mingled with his.
“Goodnight.” His specs fell from her fingers.
He used the backs of his hands to push the curtain of hair off and over her shoulders. His hands cupped the sides of her neck. “Goodnight.”
Amaal straightened, turned and ran to her bedroom. She closed the door, panting. What marathon was this?!
She couldn’t finish a full breath and she couldn’t drop the giddy smile.
————————————————————
Samar saw her go in the periphery of his vision.
Her door clicked shut, and he smiled. The high ceiling of the hall came into his sight.
He pushed his hands behind his head, lying there breathing slowly.
He had never had a place to call home. They were all resting places for the night.
Even when he had spent a large portion of his life in Atharva’s outhouse.
The routine of living there had made it home.
But even then, he had spent random nights out, not caring where he fell asleep as long as he woke up alive.
When he had woken up this morning in his rented flat in Shimla, he had not expected to end the night in Amaal’s hall.
He had not expected to end the night with her becoming more to him than he had ever dared to hope.
He had definitely not imagined surrendering to her, whatever little was left of him.
He smiled at the ceiling.
Himachal Pradesh was turning around.
He was slowly and steadily discovering his own path, away from Atharva and KDP.
And Amaal liked something that she saw in that.
Maybe there was something good growing inside him.
He closed his eyes, reaching for the specs she had abandoned on the sofa by his thigh in panic.
He laughed quietly, folded them, set them on his chest, and let sleep pull him in.
————————————————————
The chirping of birds woke him up. Samar turned his head and took stock of his surroundings. Amaal’s house, no closed quarters, no threat. He checked his watch.
5.40 am
He rubbed his eyes and sat up.
His feet touched the floor and the cool marble jolted him fully awake.
“Good morning!”
He looked up. She was walking out of the kitchen, showered and ready, two cups in her hands.
“When did you wake up?”
“At 5.”
“How did I not notice it?” He muttered, shocked that her movements hadn’t jolted him awake. If a thief slipped under his radar…
“I know how to move stealthily.” She offered him a cup.
“What is this?” He smelled coffee.
“I made coffee for myself, you can join in.”
He glanced into the cup. Light brown toffee-coloured milky drink.
“Is this mixed with Boost or something?”
“Hmm.”
His eyes widened. Samar sniffed.
“Liar.” He looked at her as she moved around the hall and to one of the glass windows he had bolted last night.
“If you don’t like it, it’s ok. You don’t have to drink it,” she said distractedly, opening the window.
Cool morning breeze blew in, bringing the smells of flowers and dewy greens.
Amaal’s mouth curled, her blue eyes staring out at the garden while taking a sip of her coffee.
Samar touched his mouth to the cup’s rim and drank the lukewarm thing in one go.
It was sweet milk with coffee powder. He set the mug on the table in front of him, put on his specs and got to his feet.
The sight of the breeze blowing her hair made him freeze.
She was… beautiful. Sometimes he forgot she was ten years younger than him.
She had that kind of freshness to her. At the beginning, it had made him uncomfortable.
Now, he had gotten the reality check that her age did not dictate her capability to handle life. She did a better job of it than he did.
Maybe she would be able to handle him, too.
God knew he had failed at handling himself.
Samar crossed the space between them and stopped behind her, keeping a polite distance as the waft of her coffee curled to his nostrils. The breeze followed. It brought the scent of lilies and dry skin, the scent of her hair, making his body tighten.
“Did you plant all this?” He asked.
She shook her head. “I am lucky if I get time to make my own meal and feed myself. My plant babies won’t survive my schedule.” Amaal turned and leaned her shoulder on the window frame, tipping her face up to him. “My gardening days are behind me.”
“Or,” he set a palm over her head, caught in those blue eyes that were pinched smaller in the morning, “they are on a break until you resume.”
She smiled — “You never once complimented my gardening while we were living together in the outhouse.”
“We weren’t living together.” He leaned down.
Her throat worked a swallow.
“We were,” she argued for the sake of arguing, her voice going soft.
“You don’t know what living together means.”
“Don’t I?”
He held her gaze, taking the mug out of her hand. “You don’t.”
“I have been with men before.”
“But have you lived with one before?”
“Yes.”
“Have you put him to sleep?”
Her eyes widened.
He used his free hand to comb through the strands of hair stuck to her ear.
“Have you taken his specs off for him?”
Her breath hitched.
Samar trailed the pads of his fingers down the side of her face, catching hold of her chin.
“Have you walked around the house the next morning, not wanting to wake him up?”
“I camped out with them…” she managed. “Did sleep… overs…”
“Have you made coffee with sweet milk for him?”
She gasped, the haze breaking as she opened her mouth to protest when he leaned down and took her lips.
They both smelled of coffee, their tongues warm.
And she rose on her tiptoes, kissing him back just as deeply as he was kissing her and surprising his heartbeat into overdrive.
This time there was no stopping, no pulling back, and she let him kiss her until they were both breathless.
“Tell me this is real,” she murmured on his mouth. Samar opened his eyes, finding hers closed.
“Hmm.”
Her mouth split into a smile, eyes still closed.
“Why did you always push me away?” She asked.
“Amaal,” he cupped the base of her chin. “Open your eyes.”
Her eyelashes tittered, then slowly rose. Bright blue eyes penetrated his being.
“When you first told me what you felt for me, you were an employee and ten years younger than me.”
“I still am an employee and still ten years younger than you.”
“You know what I mean.”
She blinked.
His phone began to blare and he glanced over his shoulder.
“Sorry.” He stepped back, walking over to his mobile on the sofa.
Faris Calling…
“Yes.”
“The system will be delivered tomorrow afternoon. That’s the earliest they could manage.”
“Ok.” He ended the call, turning back to Amaal. “You have me as a guest for one more night.”
“Meaning?”
“The security system I ordered from Delhi will be delivered tomorrow afternoon. That means I sleep here tonight as well.”
Amaal rolled her eyes — “What a chore.”
Samar pressed his lips together, but couldn’t help the grin spreading across them.
“Samar, seriously, cancel it for good. I am going back to Srinagar in three weeks. It’s not even needed by this time.”
“Did I ask you?” He slipped his mobile into his pocket and walked up to her.
“You can’t talk to me like that.”
“Like what?”
Her pupils dilated, not in anger but in something else.
“Because you like it a little too much?”
“No!”
“You do.” He held her gaze, realising it as he spoke. “You are a successful independent woman but you like it when I do not relent, do not bow to you, do not listen to you. You make the Chief Minister and his entire cabinet bow to you but you like it when I say ‘Did I ask you.’”
“You are delusional early in the morning.”
Samar cupped the base of her chin in his palm, making her shut up.
“Deny it. It will be fun to see you agree one day.” He planted a kiss on her mouth, turned and walked to the door. Samar unlocked it and turned the handle, the words flowing out of his mouth without thought.
“I’ll be home before 10.”