Chapter 39 #2
Amaal had driven his Indica once. She had driven his old Innova. She had also driven party Innovas. But she had never driven a car as heavy as his current one, which also happened to be an Innova.
“Why is this steering so heavy?” She held it tight, using every ounce of strength to turn.
“It’s a diesel car.” Samar lounged back.
“Put your seatbelt on!”
“Hmm.”
He didn’t move to put it on.
“Where is the foglight here?” She patted around the steering wheel and caught a box in an alcove.
“Ama…”
“What is this?” She held up the cigarette box.
“That’s not for everyday…”
“Then what? Weekends?”
“No!”
She opened the window and threw it away.
“What are you doing?!” He yelled.
Her foot pressed on the brake and they screeched to a stop. The road was empty. Amaal looked at him — “Sorry.”
Before he could respond, she got out of the car, ran to pick up the packet and threw it into the nearby dustbin. All the while, she kept her eyes on him as she dusted her hands and got into the car.
“My mistake.”
“You…”
“I what?”
He scoffed, then started laughing. She didn’t melt, even though that rare sound was chipping away at the mountain of her rage. But why was he still smoking?!
“Why are you still smoking?”
He stopped laughing.
“It’s not regular.”
“You didn’t smoke when we met.”
“I didn’t smoke at all.”
“Then?”
He smiled, his eyes going far away into the distance — “In SFF, I was the good boy.”
She snorted.
He gave her a look. “They all smoked, even Atharva did. Then after a few months, their habits rubbed off on me too. It was like passing some rite of passage…” his eyes went soft, and into the distance again.
“When everything happened… after our Gurez mission and capture and everything, smoking became like a crutch. I smoked for years constantly after that. Then when I came to work with Atharva here, I gave up.”
“And you started again when things started to go downhill at KDP?”
“Hmm.”
“Can you stop now?”
“I can stop.”
“Like, I know I threw it, but it’s usually weaning off it… are you doing that?”
“I can stop smoking today.”
Her eyes widened. “And not have withdrawal symptoms?”
“I will have them, but I will get over them.”
Amaal stared at this man. Sometimes she saw how emotionally stunted
he was, unable to carry the weight of so much grey in this life. And then she would hear him say something like this, and wonder if she even knew him.
“Will you stop?”
Samar turned bodily towards her — “Yes.”
Amaal grabbed the back of his neck and stamped her mouth on his. He inhaled, his hands going to the back of her head, grabbing her ponytail. She pushed her tongue through his mouth and he stabbed back at hers, his teeth nipping at her lip. Enough to pierce a smidge deeper, but not bleed.
She clenched all over.
“Samar…” She panted on his mouth.
“Drive.”
“What?”
He deposited her back into the driving seat. “Drive, Amaal.”
That command did something to her. She wanted to argue. Wanted to kiss him again. Wanted to do something more. But she set both hands on the steering wheel, took a deep breath, and eased the car back onto the road.
“Take a right from here.”
She turned, seeing the milestone announcing that they were leaving the main city boundaries. The street lamps went scarcer and suddenly a beacon of lights popped ahead. “Is that an army check post… no, it’s Srinagar Police.”
“Turn aroun…”
She accelerated by mistake and he cursed. “What? Why?” She took her foot off the accelerator.
“There’s cash in the car.”
“What?!” Her head snapped to him. “Why?”
“For the election, why else? What will I do with so much cash?”
“Samar.” She hissed. “Fuck. Fuck. If they asked for our IDs and if they found out… fuck you! You will not only create problems for KDP but the government as well! Press Secretary smuggling cash in the middle of the night!” Amaal reached an opening in the divider and began to turn.
“No!” He stopped her. “We are too close. Don’t make it suspicious.”
“SAMAR!!!” She hit his thigh again and again. “I can’t handle this! Fuck fuck fuck… do something! Call someone from this area!”
“This is Awaami’s constituency.”
“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”
“Calm down, drive at your regular speed. Stop there.”
“I can’t call anybody from the Secretariat! Fuck, I will never go out on a drive with you!”
Her heart was thumping, her pulse was hammering in her neck, and the man beside her was lounging back in his seat. She noted why when she felt his arm snake back from in between their seats.
The check post came closer and she stopped.
An inspector came to her window, eyeing the sticker on the car. He gestured for her to pull down the window.
Amaal clicked the button.
“KDP?”
Samar leaned into her side and she leaned back into her seat. “Yes.”
“Gaadi check karni hai.[124]”
“Kyu?[125]”
“Election time hai.[126]” He squinted. Then recognised Samar. “Samar sahab?” He smiled. Amaal knew that smile wasn’t welcoming. It was rupee signs.
“Aaiye.[127]” Samar cracked open his side of the door. “Don’t unlock the dickey before I reach the back.” He told her.
She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping to control the hammering inside her. Shit, shit, shit, if this exploded, it was a media nightmare in the middle of SMC elections and the summer session.
“Madam, dickey kholiye.[128]”
She blinked her eyes open, fumbling under the steering wheel to buy time while Samar rounded the car and reached the back.
Her eyes met his in the rearview and her finger pressed the unlock button.
He pulled it open. Don’t you dare have weapons in there, she prayed under her breath.
Cash was bad enough. She wouldn’t put anything past him where his car was concerned.
Amaal kept her eyes on the men at the boot of the car, even though she couldn’t see anything. Another inspector came striding to her window, giddy. Had they found something?
“Driving licence.”
“Oh… uhh…”
She reached for her purse, wanting to ram Samar’s head through something. Possibly the crates of cash that they must be confiscating. Amaal began to open her wallet when Samar was at her window.
“Hmm.” He handed over his license.
“Madam drive kar rahi hai.[129]”
“Gaadi meri hai.[130]”
“Lekin…[131]”
Amaal noticed Samar turn over his shoulder and give the inspector at the dickey a look. The man made a gesture with his hand.
“Ji, sir.” The inspector at her window punched Samar’s ID into his system and returned the card. “Election time hai, sir, duty kar rahe hai.[132]” He smiled apologetically.
Samar nodded, tucked his licence back into his wallet and rounded the car to get inside.
“Let’s go.”
She put the car in gear and wove through the maze of barricades. And then, as the road opened, she accelerated out of the check post.
“Oh god,” she gasped. “What did you do?!”
“Managed it.”
“Where’s the cash?”
Samar eyed the floor of the backseat under their seats. Amaal’s eyes widened. “How much?”
“Two and a half.”
“Oh fuck,” she panted, still unable to breathe steady. “I don’t remember you people smuggling cash during Legislative elections.”
“Qureshi did most of this then. Shabad was his man. They gave chai paani at different points. Now a four-founder party’s operations are all on me.”
“You gave him chai paani too?”
“Hmm.”
“Very good! Destroy the non-corrupt image of KDP government!”
“It was that or let them punch your ID.”
Amaal gaped at him. He looked conflicted, like he did not want to do it but he couldn’t not do it.
“I would have managed somehow…” she began.
“When the woman you love is threatened, no reason is big enough,” he announced, more like mused. And her body temperature shot up.
Amaal drove away from the city and into the forest road leading towards Shankracharya Reserve. The cars thinned, street lamps went dim. She pulled up on the curb of a deserted road and cut the engine.
“Amaal.”
She clipped off her seatbelt, climbed between the console and straddled him.
Before he could register, she slammed her mouth over his.
His tongue was as shocked as his body. She dominated it.
And then she found herself squealing, falling down over him as his seat pushed to horizontal.
Before she could fall completely, though, his hand caught her ponytail, pulling her off his mouth.
The insides of her thighs tightened.
He pulled off her hair tie.
She gaped at him.
Their breaths became heavy.
The car went silent.
His fingers tightened in her hair and he wound it around his fist.
“Undo the button of your jeans.”
She was throbbing just at that command.
His eyes snapped to the button. She couldn’t see anything in the dark. How could he?
Amaal fumbled with the button and began to pull the zipper down.
“Did I ask you to undo the zipper?”
She froze.
“Take your hand off it.”
Her fingers let go of the waistband of her jeans even before she could process his command.
“Come closer.”
She pushed up his thighs.
“Closer.”
Her lap touched his groin. Amaal gasped at what she felt. She began to reach her fingers to him but the hand holding her hair pulled her back. Their eyes met. Hazy, grainy, in the dark.
“Did I ask you to touch me?”
She swallowed.
“Take off my specs.”
That felt more intimate than if he had asked her to unbutton his jeans. Her fingers shook as she began to bend down. His hand held her hair back in a firm grip.
“Leave my hair…”
His fist wound tighter. She felt her core begin to gush.
“I will not say it again, Amaal.”
She stabilised her shaking fingers and began to descend on him, feeling that tug at the roots of her hair as she reached for his specs and took them off.
His eyes darkened. She bent to kiss him when he pulled her head back with his fist and pulled her hips down on his groin with a shocking thrust. She shrieked.
“Quiet.”
“Ohhh…” she whimpered, trying to move over him. He held her hip steady.
“Amaal.”
She felt her head falling back, pleading, forgetting all worldly things, all pride, all ego, all control. “Samar, just…” Her body needed to move.
“Quiet.”
Her core was a pulse of its own, jumping, aching, hurting, burning, but not clamping where it should have. She made a noise inside her throat, unable to cry or yell. And he had not even thrust more than once.
Suddenly he pulled her hip down and the teeth of her zipper began to pull on her flesh.
“Ohhhh fu…” she tried to fall forward but his fist held her head back. “Samar, don’t stop don’t stop don’t slow don’t slow…” she panted. “Just like that…”
He held her back again, away from where she wanted to be. She thrust over his thigh, snarling — “Fuck yo…!”
He slammed her down against his groin again and she lost her words, falling forward just to feel him tug her hair.
“Samar…” she cried and her head was pushed down to his until his tongue was thrusting in just as hard as his hips.
He cupped her backside in both hands and moved her to his rhythm — fast, hard, messy, unpredictable.
And she didn’t even get to anticipate it as everything clamped, harder than it ever had.
“Oohh, ooh, ooohhhggg…” she burst into tears on his neck. “Ohhhhhhhhfffuuu it’s.…”
Nothing had ever felt like this. A moment, but lasting so deeply.
She didn’t know how much time passed. Crying.
He let her.
And then, his fingers that had pulled at her hair, stroked it tenderly. “Shhh.”
She sniffed. “This is too much.”
“Why?”
“I have never cried during sex.”
“This was not sex.”
She chuckled through her tears, wincing. Everything down there felt so raw even while laughing. “You better keep it to yourself.”
“Amaal.”
When he didn’t say anything more, she glanced up.
“You are naive if you think I would let anybody imagine this, forget hear about this.” His eyes were still dark but his mouth had softened. “The woman who surrenders to me is only mine to command. She commands the rest of them outside my arms.”
Her mouth opened, then closed.
“Say it.”
“Hmm?”
“Say what you wanted to.”
“Have you commanded a woman before?”
His mouth curled. “I thought you would scold me for saying I command you.”
She pouted, making him tap her mouth with his finger — “The answer is no. Cigarettes and sex went out together from my life.”
“Why?”
“I am not that good to look at.”
“Says who?” She stroked a finger down his face, down the dark stubble which was tamed for a change. It wasn’t a hero face, but it did command eyes wherever it went. It had certainly commanded hers.
“Not there. Down there,” his gaze pointed to his groin. Amaal frowned. How was that ‘not good to look at?’
“I have scars left over from captivity.”
Her breath hitched.
“I hope one day you will be ok with them.”
She opened her mouth to say she was, when he silenced her. “One day.”
He wasn’t ready yet then.
Amaal nodded. Then slowly trailed her hand down to cup him over his pants. He was damp. Her eyes widened — “How did I not realise when you came?”
“You were busy crying.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Really?! Oh fuck, that was so selfish of me…”
His chest began to vibrate.
“You should expect more from your girlfriend!” She slapped his chest. It stilled.
“What did you just call yourself?”
She began to sit up. “Umm… your girlfriend…”
Her nape was caught in his palm and pulled down. They were eye to eye again.
“Don’t worry,” he bit into her lower lip. “I will get my girlfriend to do a whole lot more.” He released her lip, rubbing his thumb over the sting and saliva he had left behind. “She will drive us home like this.”