Chapter 42
“There has been an explosion at the CM’s Residence. Iram’s car was wired, everybody else is safe but Samar Bhai was in it. He may not make it, but we need the government to maintain status quo on any and all stateme…”
Amaal stopped walking.
“Samar…” words left her mouth. “Samar you said… Samar Dixit? Our Samar…”
“Yes.” Fahad’s voice was urgent, robotic. “Amaal, hold all press statements and issue from the CMO that the All-Party Meeting stands cancelled…”
‘Where is he?!!!” She yelled, breaking into a run.
“Amaal, first we need to…”
Stairs, floors, atriums, Secretariat compound, she ran.
“WHERE IS HE?!”
“They just took him to SMHS. It’s not good. Have your people prepare two statements, I am getting started on the worst-case scenario as well…”
Her heart was heated. She couldn’t keep up.
She kept running. Car! Car! Her car! She ran out of the building and down the road.
Auto, bus, anything. She began running. Mobile in hand, she kept running, turning corners and streets, in search of something, anything that would take her.
Another corner and the main road. She panted, running, holding her arm out.
“Auto!!!”
One stopped, she pushed in. “SMHS Hospital.”
She stared straight at her reflection in his round mirror. Blue eyes, unable to blink. Hand, frozen on her phone at her chest. Phone, ringing. She loosened her hold on it, finger by finger, and it fell in her lap. Still ringing.
Money. She did not have money. She had left her coffee halfway finished at her desk.
She had also left Atharva’s post-meeting statement on her desk.
He would need it. There was no soft version available.
She had hammered it out on paper and printed it.
What would he do without it? Should she ask Iram to write it for him?
But she was pregnant, about to give birth.
Should she ask Fahad to pick it up from the Media Room?
But they wouldn’t let him in without clearance.
“Madam.”
Amaal startled.
“SMHS.”
She gaped at the hospital building in her periphery.
“Paise…” she raved. “Paise… main ek minute lakar deti hoon aapko…[133]”
“Koi baat nahi, aap jaaiye.[134]”
“Nahi, nahi, aise kaise, main lakar deti hoon aapko. Andar Samar hoga, main usse lekar deti hoon aaapko, ek minute Bhaijaan, huh? Ek minute. Main abhi aati hoon, aap kahin mat jaana,” she got off. “Please, yahi rukna, main Samar se lekar aati hoon, uske paas honge… huh?[135]”
He nodded.
“Yahi rukna huh…” She turned and ran through the gates, through the entrance, through the reception. The Emergency entrance was crowded with… Z+ security. Atharva’s security.
“CM?” She yelled at Tamas. He was Altaf’s second-in-command. He had just joked with her this morning about boring duty this week.
“First floor, Madam.”
Amaal turned, and her steps slowed. She had to pay the auto driver. Tamas could do it. But she would take Samar’s money only. He was supposed to pay if she made a goof-up like this. His wallet was intact, no? His mobile…
The lift doors opened and closed, she was closed in, lots of people and metallic walls.
Should she call Samar’s mobile and see if it was working?
The lift doors opened, people cleared, her footsteps slowed even more.
More security. The entire space was cordoned.
All bubbles for the CM. Altaf’s eyes met hers. She passed through everybody.
“What happened?” She asked him.
“Sir is inside,” he pointed to the ICU door.
“Where is Samar?” She glanced around.
No response.
Amaal looked back, and Altaf was staring at her.
“Huh?” She asked. “I need to get money from him.”
“Madam, please come and sit down…”
“No!” She pushed his hand away. “Is he inside?!”
She strode to the ICU door and pushed it open, throwing her footwear aside and slapping her feet on the freezing floor.
Everything went silent and cold, and then too loud.
Samar. Explosion. May not make it. Tears started flowing.
She couldn’t walk two more steps. If he was going, she couldn’t walk two more steps.
If he had gone, she wouldn’t walk two more steps.
She turned the corner and heard those words.
“…say goodbye and let him go if…”
“No, no, no no, no no no nooo!!” She broke into a sprint howling, running towards the room closed to her with men standing in front of it. “No no nono noooo!”
“Amaal.” Atharva’s arms closed around her.
“No no no no! No no nonooooo!Noooo yaar no noon onononononoo” she jumped, trying to get through him to the others.
He lifted her bodily and turned her to the wall, locking her tight.
“Atharva no please nononononono please no do something please no,” she pleaded, crying to him.
“You can do anything please please please no no nononono please pass a no confidence motion nnoo no no yaar…”
“Shhh.” He pulled her head into his chest.
“Janab?”
“It’s ok.”
“We will be back to give you an update.”
Amaal smelled blood on him. Slimy blood and dust on her hands. “This is Samar’s?” She pulled back, staring at her hands. Red and black. Ash.
“No, please no, please tell me no!” She slapped his chest again and again. “Atharva please tell me no!”
“He is alive,” Atharva gathered her close again. “And he will remain that way.”
“You don’t believe it!” She howled.
“I do.” He thundered. Amaal stopped. She looked at him, his grey eyes. If he said, Samar had to.
“He is breathing?”
“Yes?”
“Did you tell him?” She asked.
“He knows.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” Atharva held her down on a seat. He pressed a bottle of water into her hand. She let it fall into her lap. He crouched down in front of her, opened it and held it to her lips. She took it from him and tipped it. Her eyes began to close. Blind spots appeared.
“Amaal!” He held her up as her body began to tip over. She blinked her eyes wide open. And looked around. This wasn’t a nightmare. It was real. She had to face it.
“Get a chocolate!”
“I am fine.”
An Eclairs was pressed into her mouth.
“Chew,” Atharva commanded. “I’m fine,” she chewed, downing the water bottle in her hand. Then looked down at Atharva’s eyes. She nodded. “I am fine.”
He pulled up and took the seat beside hers. They sat in silence. There were people in the alley. She counted now. Six people. She knew them, couldn’t place their names. Her head was working but not working like that.
“Sir.” Altaf’s voice made her look up. “Call for Amaal Madam.”
When she did not take his outstretched phone immediately, Atharva took it — “Yes, Fahad… no, you can talk to me… handle it… no, she will be here… get Zafarji to do it… take over for the interim… yes.” Amaal felt his eyes on her before he ended the call and returned the phone to Altaf.
“Amaal?” Atharva asked. “Where is your mobile?”
Her eyes moved quickly, checking her lap, her hands, the seat.
“I don’t know… money!” She gasped. “The auto driver is downstairs. I need to pay him…” she started to get up. Atharva tugged her down.
“Altaf.”
“Sir.”
“What happened to Samar?” She asked the air in front of her.
“Iram’s car was wired,” Atharva explained slowly. “He jumped in at the last moment and drove it away from her and the house. He took it as far as he could but jumped out late.”
“What is happening now?”
“They are treating him inside.”
“What happened to him?”
“Burns across back, arms and calves.”
“Then why did they say about goodbye?”
He did not respond.
“Atharva.” Amaal turned her head and caught his eyes.
“He has a blast lung and burn shock. They are working to keep his airways clean and organ systems working.”
“And?”
“And, nothing else.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“And nothing else, Amaal, seriously.”
“So he will come out just as ok as he was this morning?”
Atharva blinked.
“See?” She began to push up when his hand came to her shoulder. “Sit, don’t stand up just yet.”
“Just tell me he will be ok!”
“Amaal.” His hand tightened, his brows furrowing. “I didn’t know who was behind this change of his perspective towards life. Now I do. And I am assuming he does too. He will not go anywhere. Ok?”
She nodded.
“Say it.”
“He will not go anywhere.” She repeated.
“He will not go anywhere.” Atharva reiterated. “Once they clean him up, they will let us see him.”
“Did he wear a koti over his kurta today?” She asked.
Atharva’s eyes fell. “I don’t know.”
————————————————————
Seven hours later, they came back and said that he was cleaned up and dressed, a procedure done on his lungs.
Three more hours later, and they said he was awake, but disoriented.
Three more hours later, and they said something about rhabdomyolysis.
Muscle breakdown. Kidney failing. Dehydration.
They said a lot of things, and allowed up to three visitors.
“Is this for goodbye?” Amaal asked Atharva.
“No,” his voice softened. “No. This is to see him.”
Atharva could lie through his teeth and not let a single soul realise. She knew he was lying.
When they opened the sterilisation room, he stood up and walked in first. That clued her in that he was lying. Ten minutes later he walked out, tipping his chin at Adil.
“What?” Amaal shot to her feet. “What was that?”
“What?” He took off the mask from his face. “Nothing.”
“You gestured something to him. What?”
“I asked him to go in.”
Amaal blinked, tears forming a layer over her eyes. “I want to go.”
“Amaal…” Atharva stalled.
“You can’t stand in my way.” She began to run around him.
“Hey,” he caught her shoulder. “Relax. It’s not a good idea.”
“I want to go!”
“Let Adil go. You can meet him tomorrow.”
“Three people can go!”
“Amaal, he is not in a condition to… You won’t be able to see that.”
“I will.”
“Let her,” Adil said. Atharva glared at him.
“Why is he letting me?” Amaal snapped. “It means this is goodbye? No?! You both are lying to me! What is happening? Fucking tell me! PLEASE! I am going mad thinking!!!”
Atharva caught her eyes, bending down to her eye level. “Amaal?”
“Hmm?”
“Chances of survival are 40-45%. But they are there.”
Her eyes filled.
“Amaal!”
“Hmmm…” she began to cry.
“They are still there.”
“Mmmm…” she hiccuped, her body shaking.
“He
is still there.” Atharva pressed.
She nodded.
“If you want to see him, you cannot go like this. He cannot know this. Go in if you want, but go in prepared and to prepare him.”
“To die?”
“To live.”
Her tears stilled. Atharva was blurry. But she blinked several times and he became clear. Amaal’s eyes widened. And she nodded.
————————————————————
Where was he?
At first, she couldn’t figure it out.
Then she saw it.
The white coffin on the bed was him. Amaal trudged closer on shaking legs. The sterilised scrubs and mask and cap heated her body, even in this freezing cold. A shiver set in. She pushed closer, her sterile socks scraping over the gleaming floor.
Amaal saw his face and broke into a quiet sob.
His skin was dark, as if all the blood had been sucked out.
His eyes were closed. His eyebrows looked…
burnt. His eyelashes were… stunted. Gone.
Nothing else was visible. Everything was covered in a box.
He was on his front, his face turned towards her.
“Samar?”
He did not open his eyes.
“Samar?”
He still did not respond.
Amaal cleared her throat and drank down the last of her sob.
“Samar.” She called out, firm and loud.
His eyelids moved. And little by little, they pushed open. One eye more than the other. She did not dwell on that. Amaal smiled, big and bright, showing him herself, the promise of what he had left behind.
“You are ok,” she began to touch his face, then took her hand to his hair at the last second. That must be the least painful. When her fingers pressed into his hair, he did not move. His scalp was warm, his hair soft. Amaal patted. “You are ok.”
Dark eyes were dazed, but they met hers, held on.
His lips parted. Then closed. Then parted again.
“Let me go.”
Her smile faltered.
“No.”
His eyes left hers, went to the wall behind her, then fell shut. He tried to turn his head away but she pressed her mouth into his hair. It smelled of smoke and antiseptics.
“No.” She reasserted into his hair, unable to stop tears from falling.
He did not respond.
“You will live again.” She said. “You will live again.”
He did not wake up.
“You will live again, Samar.” Amaal thundered. She would not leave him until he did.