36. Violet
Chapter 36
Violet
“Are those chickens on your pants?”
“Yes, indeed they are.”
“I love them. Come here.” I jump onto his couch and curl into his outstretched arms. The nerves I felt before are long gone. I don’t know why I got worked up. It was for no reason at all.
“Really? Olive told me I should wear something else. She was so mad at me for bringing these,” I say, snuggling against him.
“I wouldn’t want you to be anything other than yourself. They suit you perfectly.” He kisses me softly on my cheek. “I want every little piece of you. Messy hair, crazy chicken T-shirts, chicken pajamas, camo crocs and all.”
“Is that true?”
“You are beautiful darling.”
He clicks on the television, and we watch Shrek 1 , my all-time favorite movie. I snuggle against him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest. Sardine curls up next to me. A huge quilt drapes over top of us all, bundling us in a warm cocoon. I could get used to this.
Once the movie ends the screen flashes the credits and I snuggle closer. Dustin brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, and it tingles against my skin. I never get tired of the feeling of his touch. He leans down and crashes his lips against mine.
Every time our lips meet, everything around me blurs in comparison. I used to wonder if he felt the magnetic pull between us when we touched. Now I know for certain that he does. The passion behind every touch is heady. And I want more. I need more this time.
“Dustin.” My voice comes out scratchy.
“Violet.” His breathy voice answers.
“Please take me to bed.”
“Are you sure?” I nod, unable to form any coherent sentences. He tosses me over his shoulder in one swift motion. I giggle the whole way up the stairs as I dangle, watching each step disappear through my fallen hair. He sets me down slowly on my feet and we stare at each other in the dim light of his bedroom. Stars flicker above us in the skylight windows, cascading a passionate ambience.
His hands smooth the hair behind my ears. It’s such a small gesture, but it feels grander with what is to come. I lift his shirt slowly and he begins to take mine off. We both start undressing each other at a slow pace, leaving a trail of clothes covering the floor.
I can’t think.
I can’t breathe at the sight of him. He is perfect.
I tip my head towards the floor, suddenly feeling self-conscious of my body. I’ve always been nervous about how I look. I have stretch marks on my thighs and hips. I have extra fat in places.
“Look at me,” Dustin commands, tipping my chin upward.
I look up to meet his blue-eyed gaze. The same gaze I’ve loved from the very beginning. I never realized that the color blue could be so dynamic; at times, they look to be as if I’m gazing into an endless body of water, but at this moment they glow like hot blue flames. “You’re so beautiful.” He breathes against my shoulder. The heat of his breath hovers over my skin. It lingers there. His fingers trail over my arms, to my hips, down my bare legs, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake.
I slowly inch backwards towards the bed and he lays me down softly on the fluffy white duvet. He places his arms on either side of me and connects his lips with mine once again, but this time I can feel the longing.
“Do you have protection?” I whisper.
In one quick motion he grabs a condom from his nightstand drawer. I grab it from him, tearing the corner of the package. He groans against my touch.
As he slowly begins to enter me, I cry out in pleasure.
“Is this okay?” His voice comes out breathy.
“Yes,” I moan loudly. The feeling of ecstasy begins to grow deeper. It entices me to embrace him in this way; I am drawn to him like a moth to flame. Blinded by lust filled air and the darkness of wooden paneled walls. Shadows flicker across our bodies from the stars. And it takes everything in me to control myself. I am on the precipice.
He continues his torturous pace. The smell of sweat mixed with his signature scent of pine and sandalwood permeates the air between us. My skin is clammy to the touch as I stare into his eyes, not daring to look away. The sight of him coming undone is too much for me to hold on any longer. “Dustin,” I scream his name and shatter into a million pieces underneath him. Vibrating aftershocks of my body turn me into a jello-like state. We slump as one on our sides. I can still feel tingles where we were once joined. I breathe heavily as spots of sweat coat my forehead. Exhausted, unable to think or move from the spot.
“Where are you going?” I ask lazily. My eyes flutter closed. I’m so relaxed it’s hard to keep them open.
“To take care of this. I’ll be right back.”
My eyes drift shut. Sleep overtakes my need to wait for him to return. I open my eyes once I hear his voice. “Let me clean you up.” He brushes a warm cloth against my skin to clean me. The action makes me feel so much comfort; no one has ever done anything to care for me after. It’s the difference between Dustin and the other guys I’ve been with in the past. He is special.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
We both tangle under the covers. I rest my head on his chest, and I fall asleep to the sound of his breathing.
The words never leave my mouth, but I feel them all too well. I think I love him.
No. I know it.