39. Violet
Chapter 39
Violet
“Hi, Henry!”
“Good morning, Miss Vivi! Come in, have a seat.” His smile beams at me when I knock on his office door. “Is that for me?”
“Of course it is. Olive whipped up an extra dark roast for you.” His eyes crinkle with delight as he accepts the white paper cup and takes a huge gulp.
“Mmm. This is just what I needed this morning. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
I look down at my feet, suddenly feeling shy. I know this isn’t my place, but curiosity is itching at my bones. I am dying to know why she wrote secret letters to him for so many years. Did they have a grand love, or did she hide these confessions without ever expressing her true feelings with him? Dementia is something that takes such a catastrophic toll on a person. She’s still at an early stage, but it’s hard to ask these questions. It hurts her to remember, and I can’t stand making her upset. When I talk to her and she gets a frantic look in her eyes I know that she’s pretending to recall something she doesn’t. I don’t want to be the cause of that. I’d rather ask Henry than make her upset or confused.
“Is everything alright Vivi, dear?” Henry’s husky voice breaks me out of a trance.
“Yes, yes everything is alright. I had a few questions about this.” I pull the notebook out of my purse and slide it onto the varnished wood desk, hoping to see a glimpse of recognition on his features. There is none, to my dismay.
Does he not know?
“What’s that?”
“It’s a notebook I found in the NSSG . It was Darcy’s. She wrote entries almost every day to someone whose name starts with H.” I keep a hold on the notebook as I continue, “I was wondering if that was you?” I know it’s you.
“It has to be me. Darcy and I have been best friends since we were teenagers. Did you know we were as thick as thieves back in the day?” Henry’s eyelids droop but a coy smile appears on his face. It’s almost as if he’s sad yet filled with love at the memory.
“I didn’t know.”
“If you want, I can tell you stories about us.” I nod in agreement, eager to find out more about younger Darcy. “But first, can you read one of her entries? If it’s not too personal; it’s okay if you don’t want to. I would love to listen to something she wrote years ago.”
A huge grin tilts the corners of my mouth. “Of course, she said I could read them. I don’t see why I couldn’t read you at least some of them.” I flip to one of the last pages choosing one that I haven’t read yet and begin.
“Dear H,
I never knew what love was until I met you. Most people say it feels as if you are falling in love. But I don’t want to fall into something that is so effervescently perfect. I’m trying to think of a word that could describe it. Float! I want to float into love. Just like butterflies appear to float through the air. Flapping their wings and flying so gracefully. A breathtaking creature that only lives for a few days. Prepossessing things like that don’t last for eternity, but that’s what makes it subjective. Love, though, defies all odds and lasts for eternity.
There are so many adjectives to describe what love entails. Just a word used to describe a feeling that is in your heart. Passion, kindness, belonging, bliss, forgiveness. There will never be enough ink or paper to express my longing for you. So that’s why I’m delighted that I made the grand step of telling you how I feel.
When you told me you always loved me but were too afraid to say something I knew it in my heart we were always meant to be. There may have been reasons why I didn’t follow this inkling, and why you kept quiet. None of that matters when we are free to be happy together once and for all.
With Love,
Darcy Burton”
I swipe back tears and look at Henry. His eyes are watery as well.
“So, you’re together? I didn’t know. I never read this one.”
“Yes, not until a few years ago before she was diagnosed with dementia did I find out about how she felt.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“She asked me not to say anything. Although, I’m not sure that was a good idea.”
“Why didn’t she want to say anything to me?”
“She didn’t want you to ever feel as if you weren't her most important priority. You had no one left but her in your life. Darcy thought that it would hurt you more at the time. You have to understand what she did was what she thought was for your best interest. She loves you.”
That, I know is true.