41. Dustin
Chapter 41
Dustin
It’s been three days since I told Violet I loved her. It’s also been the same number of days since she told me she didn’t love me back. The thing is, I know she was lying. As she said it, she looked down at her feet. I knew instantly it was a lie. I had to give her some space to work things out with herself. So, I did the last thing I wanted to do and left. I walked out the door as I painstakingly listened to her sobs. It almost broke me to leave her in that condition. No, it did break me.
I regret it now.
I promised I wouldn’t leave. There was nothing I could do or say to make her want me to stay in that moment. I know what she was doing: pushing me away. Like she always does. I did the only thing I thought I could, and that was to send Olive over to talk with her. She assured me she would make sure she was okay. And I trusted that she would.
“Quit sulking over there and help me out,” Mason calls from the other end of the bar.
“You really need to hire someone,” I grumble as I continue collecting empty pitchers, plates, and glasses. Somehow Mason suckered me into helping out closing at Rooster’s the past couple of days. Not that I’m complaining too much. At least I’m kept busy around the farm during the day and at night I spend the last few hours cleaning up the bar. Once I hit my bed every night, I’m so exhausted that I crash.
Through everything I have going on I still think about her every waking moment. I can’t even bear to look at the damn cat. Violet and Sardine are both my undoing.
Everything around me reminds me of her. I can’t even go for a run. The pond makes me think of the day we went fishing and the smile I saw return to her face. Don’t get me started on her smile. The way Violet’s smile lights up any room that she enters, confounds me. How she wears crazy outfits and doesn’t give a damn about what anyone thinks of them. The way she is obsessed with watching Shrek relentlessly even though she's watched it so many times. The way animals gravitate towards her presence alone speaks of the warmness she carries. That green thumb of hers, nurturing any plant she touches. Hell, she even keeps orchids alive; that is an almost impossible feat. I am a fool, a fool in love. And it’s killing me to be apart from her. I know she needs me but doesn’t want to need me right now. So, she’s cutting everyone off.
“Why do I need to hire someone when I have free help?” He chuckles.
“Fair point. I quit. Now you need to hire someone.”
“Oh, come on man. I appreciate the help and you know it.” He points an accusing finger in my direction. “When hay season comes around, I will be helping you out for days straight.”
“And you’re always good for it.” I know damn well every year while I was gone, avoiding this place out of guilt, he was here helping my grandfather twice a year.
I bring a stack of dishes back to the sink and pile them in the spray station. Mason comes whipping through the door behind me carrying another stack. Once he places his dishes in the sink too, we enter the bar to finish cleaning off tables and mopping the floor. Mason looks at me and sighs. “She’s going to come around eventually; hang in there.”
“Do you think so?” I’m starting to feel skeptical that she really is anymore. It’s been three days without so much as a word or text. I’m trying to give her the space she needs right now. But it’s so difficult to know that she’s suffering.
“Yeah, Olive thinks she will. So I would bet on it. They have a close-knit relationship.”
“Thanks Mason.”
“Anytime brother.”
I really hope he’s right. Right now, I’m starting to doubt she will ever come around again.