Chapter 3 #2
She’d never liked me talking trash about myself after the accident.
I used to duck my head so people wouldn’t see the mess the tractor had made of my face when I was just a boy, but the scars were more of a punchline these days.
Just another part of me. Everyone who mattered had no issue with the way I looked, and if anyone walking past me had a problem, they didn’t have to look at me.
I waved a hand to keep her talking. “Come on,” I said. “Out with it. Is Matilda okay?”
“She’s great. She’s swimming up a storm and still obsessed with her goggles. She, um…” Erin’s shoulders hiked up on a ragged breath in.
“Ez?” I scooted closer to the tablet, but the hand I reached out only touched air. She was so damn far away. “Want to talk about it?”
“We don’t talk about personal stuff…”
That was true. Personal meant relationships.
Off-limits for us. It wouldn’t be right.
Lila was the person Erin had confided in about boys, then men, then husbands, but she wasn’t here anymore, and Erin’s puffy red eyes itched at the protective side of me.
She was on the verge of a breakdown. It was time for me to step up.
“I think we can make an exception,” I said. “Let’s hear it. Personal. You having issues with Jeremy?”
“How’d you know?”
“Lucky guess.”
That guy could take a long walk off a short pier. I hated his guts. The first—and only—time he’d rocked up to the farm, he’d looked out over seven generations of my family’s blood, sweat, and tears, and declared, “Jesus, Erin, aren’t you glad you escaped this shithole?”
Her hand had covered my fist, and she’d given me a warning look. That was the only reason he’d left without a busted lip. If he’d made her cry, he wouldn’t be so lucky the next time I saw him.
“Cal… If a man asks for an open relationship…”
My hand clenched out of her sight, and I shot back, “It means he’s already screwing around,” before I realized what an insensitive prick I was being. “Please tell me you said no, Ez.”
She nodded. “I’ve felt for a while that something’s not right. Jeremy’s always taking calls from… God, who even knows. I thought he was going to tell me he was having an affair. I was almost ready for that. But when he suggested an open marriage…” She sighed. “Cal… I got so angry.”
“Good.”
Erin’s frown wasn’t budging. There was more she wasn’t telling me. Maybe it was lucky she was keeping some of the details to herself. I teetered somewhere on the brink of a blind rage and heartbreak, knowing he was treating her like garbage. More than anything, I just wanted to hold her.
Fighting to keep my emotions in check, I managed to say, “I’m so sorry you had to hear that.”
“I was ready to walk out, you know? But I saw a lawyer today… She billed me three hundred dollars to tell me I’m in a no-win situation.”
“Divorce seems like a pretty win-win situation to me.”
“Sure, when it happens. The lawyer said I have to be separated from Jeremy for twelve months before I can even apply to the court.”
“A whole year? That can’t be right.”
“It is. I checked.” Something desperate flickered in her eyes.
“If I leave, how am I supposed to make a new life for Til and me until then? I can’t just take the money sitting in our mortgage account.
I don’t have a job. If I go back to work…
God. The money I was making in human resources was good, but with the cost of everything skyrocketing…
Til will be stuck in daycare, and I’ll barely be making ends meet, living in a shoebox an hour out of town. What kind of life is that for her?”
“One where she sees her mum living on her own terms.”
That comment almost got a smile out of Erin. “But if I stay…”
“Jeremy will keep treating you like this. Worse, even. I understand wanting stability for Til, but it can’t come at the cost of her mum being miserable.”
“It would only be for a few years…”
“Ez, no. Just… no. Come on. There has to be another option. What about your parents?”
“They’re in Europe. They’re thinking of buying a place in Portugal, if you can believe it.”
I believed it. Her parents were always flitting from one dream to the next. So, who else could help? Her good-for-nothing brother? One of her new friends in Melbourne? What about—
“Come here,” I said. “The homestead’s bigger than a bloody hotel. Mum and Dad have moved out to the gardener’s cottage by the river, and I’m out all day, so you’d have the place to yourself. You could take two of the upstairs rooms for you and Til.”
The color drained from Erin’s face. “N-no…”
“I know you’re a city girl at heart, and you never liked living in the country growing up, but you’d have all the space you need—”
“I can’t. N-not after Lila…”
I dragged my palm over my chin. Bloody hell.
I’d stuck my foot in that one. Of course she wouldn’t want to stay in the house after she’d helped take care of Lila.
Last visit, she’d still refused to go upstairs.
Putting on a brave face while her best friend had faded away had taken a bigger toll on her than she’d ever admit.
“Sorry, I should’ve thought before running my mouth…” I puffed out a frustrated breath as my mind kept spinning through solutions. “What about one of the cottages we did up?”
“I can’t afford that.”
I grunted a laugh. “You wouldn’t be paying, Ez. I want to help. As if I’m going to charge you to stay here.”
“Cal…”
“Hey. You’d probably be saving me money. I wouldn’t have to pay for cleaning or to refill all the little soaps and shit that Bronte insists we stock in the bathrooms.”
A smile crept onto Erin’s face. “Little soaps and shit?”
I shrugged. “I came up with the idea of renting out the cottages to bring in some extra money. How to make people actually want to stay on a two-hundred-year-old farm is Bron’s domain. And she said we need nice soaps.”
Erin’s smile got a little wider. “I appreciate the offer, but…”
Her gaze dipped to the wedding ring she twisted on her finger. She wasn’t done with Jeremy. Not yet. She needed more time to think things over. But how much more would he do before she broke? Her husband was supposed to lift her up, adore her, make her feel special, not leave her feeling helpless.
“Just know you’ve got this place as a backup if you need it, okay?” I said.
There was no doubt in my mind she’d need it.
The only question was how long I’d be waiting before her next call.