Chapter 1 #3
For Eve, the turning point had come in learning more about Brandon Moorcroft’s background and the counselling she’d undertaken in the months following his sentencing.
Her therapist had told her that holding onto the anger would harm her more than it would ever hurt Moorcroft, and she’d known from how twisted up she felt inside that he was right.
She’d needed to find a way to let go of the sense of making things right by punishing Brandon Moorcroft, because no sentence would ever be enough.
Her therapist had suggested that she look into restorative justice, which would give her the opportunity to sit across the table from Brandon – if he agreed to be part of it – and talk to him about the impact his actions had had on her life, and try to understand how he could have got to the point he’d reached on that fateful night.
Eve had felt more and more lately that it was something she wanted to do, and she wanted to suggest it to Annie, to stop the bitterness from continuing to eat Max’s mother from the inside out.
But that was something Annie was nowhere near ready to hear, and Eve had a feeling she never would be.
‘I’m sure Lily will come home for a visit soon.’ Eve squeezed Annie’s hand, hoping her words would offer some reassurance, despite the fact she knew they were a lie.
‘Thank goodness I’ve got my bonus daughter.
’ Max’s mother gave her a wobbly smile and Eve forced herself to return it.
She loved Annie and Nigel as if they really were her parents, but they didn’t know what was in her heart and she was terrified that if they ever found out, they wouldn’t just stop loving her, they’d never want to see her again.
‘Where’s Max?’
‘He’s with the occupational therapist, they’re working on the targets they’ve set him to achieve before he’ll be allowed to move into one of the bungalows.
But he should be back any minute.’ Annie smiled again and Eve nodded.
There were five shared bungalows for semi-independent living on the Oakwood Park estate, where the residents could move to as a step towards possibly moving into supported lodgings in the community, and sometimes even to full independence at some point in the future.
The thought of that outcome made Eve shiver.
What would everyone expect of her if Max was allowed to leave Oakwood Park?
Whatever it was, she had a feeling she was destined to fall short.
‘How’s he getting on with—’
‘Oh, here he is, talk of the devil!’ Annie cut Eve off, clapping her hands in delight as Max came back into the room.
‘I’m not the devil, you silly old woman.
’ It was a term Max had teased his mother with in the past, but back then it had come with so much love and affection, off the back of her struggling to download a new app on her phone, or losing her glasses when they were perched on the top of her head. Now it sounded like he meant it.
‘I was just teasing, sweetheart.’ Annie hugged him tightly. If his words cut her, she wasn’t showing it. ‘Look who’s here, darling. It’s Eve.’
‘Hi.’ Max sounded like a truculent teen and, as Eve took a step closer, he wrinkled his nose. ‘You stink.’
‘Don’t be silly, of course she doesn’t.’ The laugh that accompanied Annie’s words sounded forced and Max clearly wasn’t going to be put off his stride.
‘Yes, she does, she stinks.’
‘I’ve come straight from work, it’s probably the smell of the hospital.
’ Eve forced another smile, trying to remind herself just how triggering those kinds of smells must be for Max.
She’d changed her clothes, but maybe the smell of antiseptic was clinging to her skin and her hair.
He’d spent far too long in hospital in the weeks after the assault and then there was the fact that the person he’d been, the trainee surgeon who’d lived for his career, would never go back to a hospital in that capacity again. No wonder he resented any reminder.
‘Well, I don’t want to smell it.’ Max folded his arms across his chest, suddenly going from sounding like a stroppy teenager to looking like a toddler.
‘Let’s go outside, shall we? Spring is definitely on the way and it’s lovely out there.
’ Annie was doing her best to smooth over the situation, as she always did.
Desperately trying to pretend everything would all be okay if they could just get through all of this.
She seemed determined not to accept that ‘all of this’ was the new normal and there was no getting through it.
At least not to the place where they’d come from.
‘Okay, but the wind better not blow the smell in my direction.’ Max stalked out of the door before either of them could answer, and as Eve exchanged a look with his mother, Annie just shrugged.
‘Just give it a bit more time,’ she said, the way she had so often before and Eve wanted to ask how much time would be enough for her to give, because she knew forever wouldn’t be long enough and just lately even one more day felt like more than she could bear.