Chapter 3
Eve’s decision to go to Oakwood Park before work meant that there was a firm cut-off point for when she’d be able to leave.
If she went after work, and Annie was there, no reason or excuse would feel good enough for why she couldn’t stay for longer.
It didn’t matter that most of the time Max didn’t even seem to want her there, preferring instead to hang out with his new friends, gaming or watching TV.
Annie would look at her in that way she did, her eyes slightly narrowed, saying something that sounded innocuous enough on the surface, but that was loaded with hidden meaning.
‘You’re always in such a rush. I do feel for you, having to spread your time so thinly, I don’t know how you and Max ever managed to spend any time together before the assault. Although, I suppose if something is enough of a priority then you can always find the time.’
Annie’s tone would always be light, there was no emphasis on the words that would make it obvious she was having a dig, but Eve felt the sharp stab of reproach all the same.
Maybe it was because she was searching for excuses not to spend as much time with Max as she could have done and Annie could see right through the reasons she came up with.
When she arrived at Oakwood Park, there was no sign of Annie, but her heart lifted a little at the sight of Felix, the occupational therapist working with Max on both his physical and cognitive rehabilitation.
Max had been having regular sessions with the occupational therapy team at the hospital, but just recently Felix had been assigned to work with him in preparation for the next phase of his rehabilitation and the proposed moved to semi-independent living in one of the shared bungalows.
As a result, Felix was now coming out to see Max in his own environment for some of their scheduled sessions.
Eve had been introduced to Felix before he’d even started working at the hospital, because his sister, Eden, was one of her colleagues and perhaps the closest thing to a new friend she’d made since moving to Cornwall.
Eve had liked him straightaway and she’d been delighted when she’d discovered that he was Max’s assigned occupational therapist. Sometimes conversations with the medical professionals supporting Max could be difficult and she’d broken down when she’d been asked by one of the doctors about how his behavioural changes were affecting her, wondering if the other woman was judging her as harshly as she was judging herself.
Eve felt as if she could be honest with Felix and that he wouldn’t judge her.
She knew about some of the difficulties he and Eden had experienced in their own family, and that he would be unlikely to see things in black and white the way she feared other people might.
They probably didn’t, after all, the medical team supporting Max would have seen all of this before and the way injuries like his could change everything.
But Eve felt judged, because she knew nothing about these people and they knew far more about her than she wanted them to.
With Felix it felt like there was more of a balance.
‘Hi, Eve, how are you? We were just talking about you.’ Felix greeted her with the smile he always seemed to be wearing whenever she saw him and she found herself wondering if he was really as carefree as he seemed.
She doubted it, in a job like his, but she found her mood lifting just from being around him.
He had the same dark hair and bright blue eyes as his sister, but aside from their colouring, they didn’t really look alike, despite the fact that they were both very attractive.
Felix was hanging onto the last vestiges of the tan he’d been sporting when they first met and he was like a much-needed dose of sunshine on a grey March day.
‘I’m good, thanks, but should I be worried when you say you’ve been talking about me.’
‘All good things.’ Felix was still smiling, but she saw a flicker of something in his eyes that gave away the lie even before Max interjected.
‘I told him that you couldn’t wait to get your knickers off when we met.
’ Max gave a brittle laugh. It was completely different from the sound of his laughter that she remembered so vividly.
Things like that were what made it all the harder to believe her Max was still in there.
The feeling deepened as he turned towards Felix, with a smirk on his face.
‘Gagging for it she was, like a bitch on heat!’
Eve caught her breath, unable to speak. Max would never have said anything like that before the assault, not even to his friends in the sort of inanely laddish way some men did. It was so far removed from the sort of person he’d been that she couldn’t even bring herself to respond, but Felix could.
‘You need to stop talking like that, Max. This is exactly the kind of inappropriate comment we were speaking about just now.’ Felix’s voice was calm and measured, which would have made his words hard to argue with, even if Max had felt like it, but he just shrugged.
‘I don’t see why. It’s not an insult.’
‘There are parts of a relationship that are supposed to remain private and you need to make sure that Eve feels comfortable with the sort of things you’re sharing.’
‘You don’t care, do you?’ Max looked at Eve as if any protest she might make would have surprised the hell out of him; as if no one could possibly be offended by being described as a ‘bitch on heat’. ‘We used to have loads of sex; it’s nothing to be ashamed of.’
‘It’s like Felix said, I don’t think other people need to know about that and I very much doubt they want to hear about it either.
’ Eve tried to keep the same note of calm in her voice as Felix had adopted, but she didn’t manage it.
Instead her tone was tight and strained.
Coupled with holding back the urge to cry, it left her throat feeling raw with suppressed emotion.
‘They bloody well do want to hear about it. Jamie said he could imagine what you liked doing and that he’d have given anything to see your—’
‘Darling!’ Annie swept into the room, thankfully cutting off whatever it was that Max had been about to say.
‘Christ, not you again. Why don’t you just go into work if you’re that bored that you need to come here all the time.
’ Max sounded like a huffy teenager, but if Annie was offended she wasn’t showing it and she just laughed.
It was something she was far better at than Eve could ever imagine herself being, but deep down the changes in Max must be every bit as agonising for Annie as they were for Eve.
‘I only work one or two days a week now, darling, for the express reason that it allows me to be with you as much as possible.’ Annie made it sound like her greatest pleasure and Eve experienced such a powerful stab of guilt she was surprised it hadn’t skewered her to the wall.
‘Well, you needn’t bother. I don’t need you here. Either of you.’ Max cast a pointed look in Eve’s direction. ‘I’ve got things to talk about with Felix that I don’t need you listening in on.’
‘There’s nothing you can’t say in front of us, is there, Eve?’ Annie didn’t wait for her to respond. ‘In fact there’s not a thing you could do or say that would make us want to be anywhere but here with you.’
There was the guilt again, stabbing so hard this time that it made Eve catch her breath and all she could do was nod mutely. As if that somehow made it less of a lie than saying yes out loud.
‘So Max is making good progress, Felix?’ Annie’s tone made it sound more like an expectation than a question, but Felix’s smile was undimmed.
‘I’m making you work hard, aren’t I, Max?’
‘Too fucking hard sometimes.’ Max gave another unrecognisable laugh and Annie wagged a finger at him.
‘We don’t use language like that, Maximus. We never have.’ Annie’s use of Max’s full name had always made Eve want to laugh before the assault, but now nothing about Max made her want to laugh.
‘For Christ’s sake. Everyone says fuck. Everyone except you.’ The petulant teen was back, but Felix did his best to defuse the situation.
‘I’d say we can see all the hard work starting to pay off, especially with the physical rehabilitation and adaptative techniques.
I think if you keep working at this pace, Max, you should be on track for that move to the bungalow.
’ Felix never spoke about Max, always to him.
It was something Eve had noticed from the outset and she appreciated it, she hoped Annie did too.
As for Max, she had no idea if he noticed or even cared these days, but the old Max, her Max, would definitely have done.
‘That’s excellent.’ Annie gave a little clap of her hands, genuine delight spreading across her face. ‘It’s another step along the road and, who knows, we could be back to making wedding plans by this time next year.’
‘Who knows.’ Even to her own ears, Eve’s words sounded dull and unconvincing.
As she caught Felix’s eye for a moment, he gave just the briefest, almost imperceptible shake of his head, as if he knew as well as she did that they wouldn’t be planning a wedding this time next year.
They wouldn’t ever be planning a wedding again, because the one person who wanted that even less than Eve did was Max.
* * *
‘Why are you still crying for God’s sake?
’ Max’s irritation would have been obvious even if it hadn’t been spelt out in his words and Eve’s heart felt like a lead weight in her chest. She was sure if she’d been floating in water that she’d have sunk to the bottom and would never have been able to make it back to the surface.