Chapter 19 #2
Going to the cinema was something couples did all the time and the fact that Eve had agreed to such a public date, in the cinema at Port Tremellien, where anyone could see them, felt like a milestone.
She might still be waiting for the right moment to tell Annie and Nigel that she was seeing Felix, but she wasn’t trying to hide it from them or anyone else either.
It was proof that she’d meant what she said, and she liked him enough to risk the consequences of their reaction.
That in itself felt huge and, if he hadn’t like her as much as he did, he might have been the one urging her to proceed with caution.
The last thing he would have wanted if he wasn’t sure about Eve, was for her to put her relationship with Annie and Nigel on the line, but he was sure about Eve.
He’d been 99 per cent certain before San Francisco, but afterwards there’d been no question in his mind.
Felix had been relieved when Eve had told him she’d spoken to Eden about him, and it had meant he felt able to confide in Drew and admit just how much he liked Eve.
‘Do you think I should try and play it a bit cool?’ He’d posed the question to his sister’s boyfriend when they met for lunch and Drew had laughed.
‘You’re asking the wrong person if you want advice on how to be cool.’
‘Oh, I don’t know, whatever you did worked on Eden, and my sister can be a hard nut to crack.’
‘I just won Teddie over first.’ Drew had shrugged, a smile quickly spreading across his face. ‘Maybe that’s the answer, find someone she loves and get them on side first.’
‘I think I might already have done that. I’m the only OT Max will cooperate with, but it’s not him Eve is worried about upsetting by dating me, and I don’t think anything would make that okay with his parents.
Eve is the biggest link to who Max was before the assault, and if I break that link in any way they’ll be forced to face up to the fact that things are never going to go back to the way they were. ’
‘They’re never going to do that anyway.’ Drew had shrugged for a second time, his brilliantly straightforward response quite possibly a by-product of his high-functioning autism.
‘I think what Eden appreciated was that I didn’t mess her around, I said what I meant and I meant what I said.
It might just be because of the way I’m wired, but I think all relationships should operate on that basis.
Don’t try and play it cool if you like Eve as much as I think you do, be honest with her, so that she’s got the confidence to be honest with Max’s parents too.
That way, everyone knows where they stand and they can decide if they’re in or they’re out. ’
‘Has anyone told you you’re a genius?’
‘Not nearly as often as they should do.’ Drew had laughed again and Felix had decided to follow his advice.
You couldn’t go far wrong by being honest, and Meredith had proved just how much harm lies could do.
She’d lied to everyone, including herself, about just how out of control her addiction had become.
Eve couldn’t have been more different to Meredith, and she’d already decided she wanted to be honest with Annie and Nigel.
Felix couldn’t imagine them turning their back on her, but he also understood why she wanted to make it as painfree for them as possible, when they learned that she was moving on.
He wasn’t going to put any pressure on her to have that conversation with Max’s parents; it was enough to know she wanted to.
If she could put so much of her life on the line to see where their relationship might go, the least he could do was tell her just how much she meant to him and he had every intention of doing that tonight.
He’d arranged to meet her in the emergency department, once his shift ended.
She was due to finish before him, but she’d told him she was more than happy to have the chance to catch up on some paperwork and an online training course she’d been putting off for weeks.
Felix had expected her to be ready and waiting when he got to the department, but she was nowhere to be seen.
‘You don’t know where Eve is, do you?’ Aidan stopped in his tracks as Felix called out to him, a pained expression on his face.
‘She’s with her in-laws.’ It was an innocent enough remark, but somehow it felt like a stab to the gut and he wanted to correct Aidan.
He knew it was stupid and there’s no way he’d actually have done it, but he didn’t get the chance anyway, because Aidan wasn’t finished.
‘I didn’t even know she had a fiancé until Isla told me last week.
She’s a dark horse our Eve, isn’t she? And so are you come to that! ’
Felix opened his mouth to respond, but once again Aidan didn’t give him the chance. ‘Max’s mum was in a car accident and his dad is in a right state. I think he’d have lost it completely if Eve hadn’t been there.’
Felix shivered, suddenly experiencing an almost overwhelming sense of déjà vu that for a moment he couldn’t identify, but then it hit him.
It was what Meredith’s father, Don, had said about losing her; that he’d have lost it completely if he hadn’t had Ashleigh and her babies giving him a reason to carry on.
What would Nigel have if he lost Annie, after already going through so much with Max?
Lily was thousands of miles away with no intention of coming home, and Eve had been the rock for everyone through all of that.
But if Felix took her away, who would Nigel have to lean on?
‘Does Max know what’s happened?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Aidan furrowed his brow. ‘You know him quite well, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I’ve been working with him since I started here.
’ Felix was surprised at just how much Eve had shared with her friends over the past few days, having decided to stop keeping secrets.
But she could never have predicted what would happen to Annie and he couldn’t help wondering if she wished now that she’d kept quiet.
‘I need to talk to Eve and see if there’s anything I can do.
If she wants me to speak to Max, or if he needs to come in and see his mum… ’
Felix didn’t want to ask how bad things were, because part of him didn’t want to know.
He couldn’t bear the thought that Max and his family might have to face even more trauma.
He also knew there was only so much Aidan could say without breaking patient confidentiality and in truth he’d probably already overstepped the mark.
‘I’ll go and find her.’ Almost before the words were out of Aidan’s mouth, Eve came along the corridor, side by side with Nigel, who had his arm around her.
They were both drained of colour, united in their love for Annie.
They were a family, that much would have been apparent even if Felix hadn’t known anything about them.
And he understood as well as anyone just how priceless family was in moments like this.
He couldn’t be the one to take that away from Eve, not when it was the only family she had.
It would put too far much pressure on their relationship, when he was in no position to offer her any of the same guarantees of support, or the shared history that her bond with Max’s family gave her.
‘I’m so sorry to hear what happened. How’s Annie?’ Felix kept his eyes fixed on Nigel, it was his only hope of fighting the desire to reach out and try to comfort Eve.
‘Her face is badly messed up and they’ve sent her for a scan. I’m just terrified that she might be—’ He shook his head and looked towards Felix. ‘What if she’s got an injury like Max’s, or something even worse?’
‘It’s going to be okay.’ Eve turned towards him. ‘We’ve got to believe that.’
‘I’ve wanted to believe that things are going to be okay for the past two years.
I kept trying to convince myself that Max would recover eventually, because Annie wouldn’t even consider another outcome, but I know now that he won’t.
Not fully. I told myself that Lily would come home eventually, when she’d had enough space to think things through, but I don’t think that’s true either.
Now I want more than anything to believe that Annie’s going to be okay, but even if there’s no lasting damage from the accident, I know she’s changed forever.
The Court of Appeal have upheld Brandon Moorcroft’s sentence and I’m scared that all the fight that was keeping Annie going will have disappeared, and that she’s going to want to give up on life.
You know how low she got when Lily left and I think the outcome from the court was one blow too many. She just can’t take any more.’
‘We can get her through this. We’ve got through everything else together these past two years and I promise you I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get Annie well again.
’ Eve said wrapping her arms around Nigel.
The realisation hit Felix that Max’s family were her priority, exactly as they should be right now, and he liked her far too much to add to her burden by making her feel even a moment’s guilt for choosing them over him.
He was going to back off and give her all the space she needed for as long as it took, even if that cost them the chance to see where things might have gone between them.
He’d had to walk away from Meredith in order to save himself, but he couldn’t put himself first again and risk Eve losing the family she loved, because even if she could forgive him for that, he’d never be able to forgive himself.