Chapter Four
Dagmar
D agmar tugged her long plait out from under her jacket and flicked it over her shoulder. She’d got so used to being here alone that having Francesca and Caitlin helping her out still felt a little strange. But she couldn’t knock it. Without their help, she’d be even more thinly spread, and she couldn’t cope with that. Not when her heart was still tight with worries about the café and her mum. Her post on the socials had got a few likes and one or two comments, but not enough to make any difference.
‘Francesca, can you check the feed and water in the lower paddocks?’
‘Yeah, sure.’
‘And Caitlin, you can start mucking out the stalls. We have a new arrival coming in later.’
‘Ok.’
‘Thanks.’
Francesca adjusted her gloves and headed towards the paddocks, while Caitlin grabbed a pitchfork and wheelbarrow and made her way to the stalls. Dagmar watched them for a moment. Right, that was them sorted. While she appreciated everything they did here, she also liked to separate them at times, otherwise they wasted so much time gossiping. And these days they had loads to chat about. As Caitlin’s dad, Brann, was the builder Ophelia was now living with, there was plenty for everyone to gossip about – Dagmar overheard lots of tittle-tattle, and she’d been as intrigued as anyone when she found out, but she wasn’t as surprised as everyone else. Brann had been working here for months before he and Ophelia got together. He’d always been friendly and chatty, not to mention rugged and easy on the eye. Who wouldn’t like him? It was only a scandal because Ophelia was supposed to marry someone with status and cash. Like James Charlton.
Dagmar turned back towards the stables and her eyes fell on two people walking towards her. Seriously, what? Speak of the devil and he’s sure to appear. Her heart skipped a beat. She’d seen James and Ophelia here together last year, but only from a safe distance. But they were coming towards her. Why? What was he even doing here? He and Ophelia weren’t together. He had no reason to be here, and why were they making a beeline for her?
Unwanted memories flooded back – school corridors, his face among the tormentors. That desperation to see him, but also the dread. What would he think of her? How ugly she must look next to her peers. Like now. There was no competing with Ophelia in a beauty contest. Give Dagmar a horse and she’d show her, but that wasn’t really an option here.
‘Good morning.’ Ophelia smiled widely, almost like she was on the verge of laughing. ‘Look who I found loitering in the car park.’
‘I wasn’t loitering,’ James said.
Ophelia chuckled and winked at Dagmar like they had an inside joke going on, but Dagmar didn’t know what it was and nothing about seeing James was making her smile.
‘This is James Charlton. You know him, don’t you? I can’t recall if you met him here last year when we were—’
‘Being thrown at each other?’ he suggested.
‘Well, yes, that. But you two knew each other at school, I believe.’
‘Vaguely.’ Dagmar didn’t look at him but picked at her short nails.
‘So, James is taking up riding again. You haven’t done it for… How many years?’
‘Oh… Several.’ He covered his mouth like he was covering a cough, but there was no sound.
Dagmar narrowed her eyes. No way had he ever ridden before. She would bet her last penny on it. Whatever was going on, she was sure he wasn’t here for that, which begged the question: why was he here?
‘He’s looking for some refresher lessons before he gets a horse.’ Ophelia stressed the word “refresher” like she didn’t believe him either. ‘And really, there’s no one better than you to teach him.’
Dagmar’s mind raced. What? No way. She couldn’t do that. The idea of spending time with him was the last thing she wanted. But how could she refuse? Ophelia was the boss.
‘I, um, thanks, but we’re really busy just now. I don’t think I’ll have time.’
Ophelia pulled a face. ‘Yes, we are busy.’ She rubbed her hands together. ‘Though I’m sure you could make it worth our while.’ She raised her eyebrow at James.
He put his hands in his pockets and looked away with a wry grin. ‘Your family are still determined to get their hands on my cash, I see.’
‘Unfortunate,’ she said, ‘but accurate.’
‘I could definitely make it worth your while.’ His eyes met Dagmar’s and her insides flipped. Oh no. He couldn’t. Nothing he could do would make her want to spend time with him.
‘I need to get on,’ she said. ‘There’s so much to do. But really, it’ll be very difficult to fit in lessons anytime soon, no matter what he pays.’
‘Hmm.’ Ophelia rubbed her fingertips together. ‘Well, you crack on. I’ll show James about and have a look in the diary to see if we can juggle things around.’
‘Right.’ Dagmar stalked off, balling her fists. If Ophelia decided to change the plans so she could fit in lessons for James, what could she do about it? If she argued, she’d look like she was being belligerent just for the sake of it. How annoying. Especially when she knew he was up to something. He must be. Maybe he was trying to win back Ophelia.
‘Hey! Dagmar.’ Caitlin came out of the stables. ‘I forgot to tell you my mum’s coming up this morning to drop off some stuff I left at her house. She’s just passed her driving test, and she’s enjoying all the practice. Can I nip out and see her when she gets here?’
‘Sure.’ Dagmar nodded. Caitlin was just a volunteer. She could do as she pleased. ‘But thanks for asking.’
‘She might want to look around a bit too. Would that be ok?’
‘Yeah, course it would.’ Dagmar lifted a pile of rugs she’d meant to put away ages ago. ‘I need to tidy up a bit in here.’ Clearing out stuff would be cathartic, and she needed something to calm her nerves. Her insides burned. Seeing James had unsettled her.
She spent the morning clearing up stuff she should have done ages ago, but there was just so much to do. A car crunched into the car park, which was entirely normal, but today Dagmar was listening for comings and goings. The new people weren’t due until the afternoon, but she hadn’t seen James leave yet. Was he still here, hanging around with Ophelia? Something weird was going on.
Car doors bumped shut and Dagmar heard voices. She loitered by the window until she saw it was just Caitlin and her mum. Dagmar would leave them to it. Caitlin’s mum scared her a bit. Not that she’d spoken to her much, but she dressed like a heavy metal rockstar and always looked intimidating.
‘Come see this, Mum,’ Caitlin said outside the door. What were they looking at? A tremor flickered through her that they’d burst in and one of them would laugh and say, ‘Look, it’s horse face.’ But they seemed to be looking at something outside. Ten or so minutes passed quietly as Dagmar swept the floor before she heard the voices again. It sounded like Caitlin was saying goodbye to her mum. Dagmar propped the brush in the corner and pushed a couple of stray hairs from her face as she stepped outside.
Uh-oh. Caitlin’s mum was still in the courtyard, her flowing floral dress ruffled in the breeze. This was one of the odd things about this woman. Her rather wild dress sense was mismatched – both soft and hard. She’d paired the dress with a leather jacket and studded boots. Her hair was flame red, and she ran her long black fingernails through it. She dipped her head as she spoke on a phone. Her ears, nose and eyebrow were pierced, and she had on several rings and a chunky crucifix necklace.
Dagmar might be able to slip by unnoticed while the woman chatted on her phone. She made an attempt, but Caitlin’s mum glanced up and smiled.
‘Hey.’ She hit a button on the phone. ‘How are you?’
‘Fine.’ Dagmar nodded. ‘You?’
‘Ah, not bad, thanks. Just the usual, trying to juggle everything, and then forgetting everything.’ She pulled a face.
‘Oh dear.’
‘Yup. That was my sister reminding me I’d forgotten something.’ She threw out her hands and smiled broadly. She had deep burgundy lips and very white teeth. Despite being so intimidatingly turned out, she was very striking and seemed nice. ‘Naughty me.’
Dagmar smiled vaguely in spite of herself – a thing she rarely did for anyone other than her mum.
‘I’m Caitlin’s mum, by the way. In case you don’t remember and think I’m just some weirdo talking to you.’
‘I remember,’ Dagmar said. She wasn’t exactly someone anyone could forget.
‘My name’s Kristi… Well, that’s what everyone calls me. Except Caitlin’s dad. Brann still calls me by my full name. Kristalee. It’s such a mouthful. My parents called us crazy names, but we all shorten them these days. It stops the weird looks.’ She rolled her eyes around rather comically.
This woman was funny and a total chatterbox, but Dagmar couldn’t help admiring her confidence in dressing like that and prattling on like they were old friends. Dagmar was certain she wouldn’t have a personal conversation like this with someone she barely knew… Anyone for that matter.
‘Is Caitlin behaving herself?’ Kristi asked. ‘I hope she’s actually helping and not just getting under your feet.’
‘No, I appreciate what she does.’
‘Well, she loves it, and now that her dad’s living up here, she’s never away.’
Dagmar nodded. She was impressed by how Brann and Kristi seemed to still be friends. Caitlin had painted a fairly decent picture of their relationship, and it seemed to be accurate. But Dagmar couldn’t imagine wanting to see an ex again if she’d split up with them. Not that it would ever happen. She didn’t have any exes.
‘Are you ok?’ Kristi’s heavily pencilled eyes gave her a don’t-cross-me look but behind the make-up, her expression was soft. Was she actually interested? Dagmar always assumed people would dislike her or not give a shit. So far, a lot of her life had felt like that, but Kristi’s expression was concerned more than anything else. ‘You look exhausted.’
‘It’s tiring.’ Dagmar let out a sigh. ‘There’s so much to do.’
Kristi looked around the stable yard. ‘I can see that. It’s tough for one person doing this. That’s why I hope Caitlin is helping and not getting in the way.’
‘Most of the time, it’s fine, but Ophelia wants this place to make money. I understand that, of course I do.’ Dagmar needed it too, otherwise they might stop paying her again. ‘But sometimes it means there’s just too much.’
Kristi folded her arms. ‘Yeah, she’s ambitious and likes to get her own way. I can see that. But she’s nice. I was surprised how kind she was. She helped Caitlin when she was having a tough time. I’m sure she’d listen to you if you let her know.’
‘Maybe. But… Well, it’s not that. I mean, that’s ongoing. I just…’ Should she say something? Trust this woman? It wasn’t in her nature to do so, but she really wanted to tell someone and bizarrely, Kristi seemed like the right person. Possibly because she was partially a stranger, or maybe because she was a mum – someone caring.
‘Tell me.’ Kristi cocked her head. ‘Is it something Caitlin’s done?’
‘No, not at all. It’s just… this morning someone showed up and I’ve been asked to give him riding lessons. And, well, I don’t trust him.’
Kristi’s eyebrows lifted. ‘Oh? Why? If he’s someone who isn’t safe to be here, I don’t mind telling Ophelia myself.’
Dagmar shook her head. ‘It’s not that. It’s someone I was at school with, and he wasn’t exactly nice to me.’
‘Ugh.’ Kristi screwed up her nose. ‘That must be really annoying. And is Ophelia insisting you do it?’
‘I’m not sure yet.’
‘Well…’ Kristi patted her arm. ‘Hang in there and maybe it won’t happen. I can sympathise with the whole school thing though. I hated it. Caitlin’s had her share of nasty experiences too.’
Dagmar nodded. ‘This probably sounds ridiculous, but I had a crush on him at school – I don’t even know why. He never knew, so that’s not an issue. But it brings back memories.’ Now she was talking, she couldn’t stop. Everything was pouring out. ‘I don’t want him treating me like shit. Of course, back then, he was too cool for someone like me. I was just an ugly girl with braces. And I don’t need any more crap right now.’
‘What?’ Kristi cocked her head. ‘Have you looked in a mirror recently? You’re certainly not ugly. You’re bloody beautiful.’
Heat stung Dagmar’s cheeks. ‘Um… Ok.’
‘I mean it.’ Kristi gave her a little pat on the back. ‘And I totally get it. I still see people around town that I was at school with and god knows I don’t want anything to do with them. But, best-case scenario, maybe this guy’s changed. I know I’ve changed since school. So has Brann. Jesus, the way we carried on back then. But we grew up. Maybe this guy has too.’
‘I’d like to think so, but I’m not sure. Something’s not right. Last year, he was one of the guys Ophelia’s father was trying to get her to marry, and I’m pretty sure he’s never ridden a horse in his life before, but today he was here with her and he told her he wanted to “refresh” his skills. There’s something strange about it.’
Kristi pulled a face. ‘Weird, right enough.’
‘Yeah, and I’m not sure what to do.’
‘Sadly, I don’t either. I’m still waiting for the day when I become a proper adult and have all the answers, but I’m thirty-seven, I’ve got two grown-up kids, and I still haven’t got a clue.’ Kristi reached out and put her hand on Dagmar’s shoulder. ‘Listen, if you need someone to talk to again, give me a shout, ok? It must be lonely up here by yourself.’
‘It’s fine.’ Would Kristi guess that was a lie? Because she’d hit the nail on the head. But Dagmar didn’t want to admit it. ‘Thanks though.’
‘No worries. And just remember, you’re as smart and pretty as any of them. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I had years of people telling me how shit my life choices were, but you know what? I’m not changing just for them. You do you, let the other fuckers do what they want.’
Dagmar allowed a little laugh to escape. ‘I need that on a t-shirt. Thanks… Really. You’ve cheered me up.’
‘Anytime. See you about.’
Dagmar crossed the yard towards the paddock, unable to stop the smile from growing on her face. But it soon vanished when she saw James at the bottom of the field, leaning on the fence near her trailer. What the hell was he doing and why was he still here?