Chapter Six
Dagmar
B irds chirping like crazy outside the trailer woke Dagmar before her alarm clock. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she groaned and sat up, blinking. It was still dark, but the glow of the approaching dawn was visible as she pulled back through the threadbare curtains. How did morning come around so quickly? It felt like she’d barely touched the pillow, and now it was time to get up. Early rises were part and parcel of life with horses, but some days were harder than others. At least winter had faded away and spring was well and truly on its way.
Dagmar had done this for years, rarely taking time off. Her whole life revolved around horses. So much so she’d never made time for relationships. What was the point? The only person she wholly trusted was her mum. Other people had come and gone in her life. She didn’t stick around to make friends. Some pony club acquaintances she kept up with and they met up at shows and competitions. She very occasionally met them for lunches or coffee if they were arranging shows, and of course she stayed on good terms with the vet and the farrier, but outside of the horsey scene, she had no one. And there was Ophelia. She wasn’t really a friend, but she was the only other person Dagmar had known for a long time and still had contact with. The interaction with Kristi the other day had been unexpected and quite nice. Could they be friends? She couldn’t imagine anyone in that role, but Kristi was pleasant, and she’d been easy to talk to.
Dagmar swung her legs out of bed and slid into her worn-out slippers, pulling on a thick jumper against the morning chill. The trailer didn’t have a toilet or shower area. Primitive, really. Often when she visited her mum, she used the opportunity to soak in the bath and use a shower with better water pressure than the ridiculous port-a-loo and matching shower cabin she was forced to use. The Chattan-Blythes had bought them second hand years ago, originally to be part of the riding school, but with Dagmar pretty much living in, she’d put her trailer next to them and rarely moved since, unless she was travelling to competitions.
Ophelia had once offered her one of the cottages on the estate when it was done up, but Dagmar wasn’t sure when that would be, or if that offer was still even on the table. Would she be able to afford it?
She let the shower run for a while to heat up, but it was still little more than a trickle when she got in. Washing her hair took an age. These tresses hadn’t been cut for years, and they trailed down her back to her hips. She was a natural blonde, but some days she fancied the idea of having the colour refreshed, maybe getting a trim and a more obvious style. She caked her head in conditioner and left it in for five minutes as she washed herself. It was the only way to keep her hair glossy, otherwise it went like straw and reminded her painfully of all the times she’d been dubbed horse girl. She wrapped herself in a towel and nipped back into the trailer. At this time of year, it was ok, but in the winter, this was a killer. It was a miracle she hadn’t died of hypothermia.
As she combed her hair through and plaited it, her mind wandered back to James. Her thoughts had never been far from him all night. If she’d actually had time to dream, that was what she’d have dreamed of. His offer to save her mum’s café had caught her completely off guard.
Could she trust him? The thought gnawed at her as she tied off her plait. James Charlton was not the kind of person she associated with charity. But a storm of butterflies burst into her chest when she allowed herself to believe his offer was genuine. Did she really want to be in his debt though? Would she be? Or would the lessons pay for it? The lessons and her silence. That shouldn’t be too difficult. It wasn’t like she and Ophelia were close. She wouldn’t be beating a path to her door to spill the beans.
She had a quick drink of water, then grabbed her jacket and headed out of the trailer. Facing food this early was something she couldn’t do. The early morning air was crisp against her cheeks. She zipped her jacket and headed towards the stables. The dawn light tinged the sky.
As she reached the stables, the horses shuffled in their stalls. Even if it was a pain getting up so early, these moments, when the world was still waking up, were her favourite. It was just her and the horses, a peaceful start to the day before the chaos began.
She started with the feed, hauling buckets of grain and hay. The horses shifted impatiently.
She scooped out the feed. ‘It’s just coming.’
As she filled the hay nets, her thoughts drifted back to James. He was due early. Would he show? The idea made her heart race, and she was pretty sure that wasn’t a good thing.
She couldn’t shake the images of him from school. Him all popular, always surrounded by friends. Her with braces and awkward ways, never with anyone. James was famously sociable, moving in the upper circles. Not only had he tried to win Ophelia, but he’d dated Genevieve Harrington, a well-known influencer. He was that kind of guy and attracted women with beauty, style, and wealth.
And she’d never even had a boyfriend. Was it obvious to everyone, or did it seem far too ridiculous? She remembered overhearing some girls talking at a horse show once about a book they’d read where the heroin was a virgin at twenty-five. They’d moaned about how utterly unrealistic it was and that everyone had “had a fumble” by the time they left school. Dagmar hadn’t enlightened them that they were completely wrong, and she was a living example. It wasn’t exactly something she wanted to draw attention to. She often read online that it was nothing to be ashamed of, but it still played on her mind. What she didn’t want to do was have some random hookup just to rid herself of the “V-card”. She’d waited this long. And really it would have to be someone pretty damn understanding. Otherwise they’d think her a right weirdo. Wasn’t that the story of her life?
While she continued waiting for something she was sure wouldn’t happen anytime soon – if ever – James would be chasing Lady Victoria Bruce. Yet another posh young woman with money and looks. Dagmar knew her from the riding scene and could see her being right up James’s street. No doubt there would be wedding bells before long. She could easily imagine it even without the riding lessons.
She’d started mucking out the stalls when she heard footsteps. Her heart lurched. She straightened up, gripping the pitchfork tightly.
‘Hi.’
She turned to see Caitlin approaching. ‘Oh, it’s you. Morning.’
‘Yeah. I’m on study leave, so I don’t have to rush out, and I don’t want to hang about in the house. Dad and Ophelia are so lovey-dovey.’ She pulled a grossed-out face.
Dagmar gave her a little smirk. She could well believe it. Ophelia and Brann had been all over each other from the moment they met; even when they apparently hated each other, they’d made eyes at each other.
‘Well, if you can look at the livery book and see who needs to come in this morning and start bringing them in, that would be great.’ Dagmar checked her phone. ‘I’m supposed to be doing a lesson this morning, but he hasn’t showed.’ Surprise, surprise.
‘That’s early.’
‘I’m fitting him in because he’s paying big money.’
‘Ah, right.’
‘I’ll get Conker in just in case he arrives. He’s a good horse, and I’m sure Ophelia won’t mind.’ He was Ophelia’s own horse, but she let other people ride him, and he was probably the most easy-going of all the horses they had.
Dagmar went outside and spotted a pile of feedbags. She’d meant to move them yesterday. This was why her muscles ached every night – from lifting stuff like this. She picked up the first one and dumped it in her wheelbarrow. As she loaded the next one, she heard a car door bang. Seconds later, James strolled around the side of the stable, hands in his pockets. He stopped when he saw her and gave her a little smile. His jaw was dusted with early morning stubble, and he wore cargo trousers and a casual sweater. Dagmar’s tummy flipped. Oh Christ, he was handsome. But she really didn’t want to think about that or notice.
She lifted another bag of feed and deposited it in the barrow.
‘Hey.’ James approached her.
‘Morning.’ She lifted the barrow and began to wheel it.
‘Here, let me help with that.’
‘I can do it. I do it all the time myself.’
‘I know you do, but let me give you a hand. Put me to use while I’m here.’
‘I’ll give you another job.’ She glanced at him as she set the barrow down. ‘A more suitable one.’
‘Does it involve shovelling shit, by any chance?’
‘It may do.’ She brushed off her hands and couldn’t stop a smile creeping onto her face.
‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile before.’ James tilted his head as he looked at her, his gaze soft but powerful.
She blinked and sucked on her lower lip. Shit. What was she meant to say to that? Their eyes met, and for a moment, the world paused. His focus was steady, and an intense warmth spread through her chest.
‘Well.’ She cleared her throat, breaking the moment. ‘You can help me load the other bags, then I’ll introduce you to Conker.’
‘Conker? Isn’t that Ophelia’s horse?’
‘Yes, but she lets other people ride him for lessons. He’ll be good for you. He’s very patient and has lots of experience in carrying new riders.’
James glanced around and put his finger to his lips. ‘Riders needing a refresher.’ He tipped her a quick wink, nudging his head in Caitlin’s direction, though she was at the far end of the block and was unlikely to have heard, as she had her earbuds in.
‘Yeah, that too,’ she said. ‘And luckily he doesn’t speak English, so your secrets and lies are safe with him.’
He gave her a discreet thumbs up and a cheeky little smile. Her tummy felt like someone was using it as a trampoline and it flipped over again. This was not good… Really not good.
‘I normally spend the whole first lesson teaching you how to groom and tack up, but I’ll show you today and then you can have a go the next time. I know how keen you are to get started.’
‘Yeah, great.’
She fetched Conker and led him out of the stable, across the courtyard and into a barn behind the stable block. Dagmar flicked on a light and the arena lit up.
‘There’s so much to learn about horse-care before you even start, but with the limited time, you’ll have to learn as we go along. I like students to learn grooming, basic horse anatomy, equine needs and behaviours. It would be good to study body language and learn how to recognise a horse’s signals, postures and facial expressions.’
‘Really? Horses have facial expressions?’
‘Of course. Oh, and you also need to know what to do if you fall off.’
‘Is that likely?’
‘Better safe than sorry. If it happens, don’t clutch the reins. We all want to do it as a reflex but it’s better not to as it allows the horse to avoid us on the way down, if we clutch, the horse is more likely to hit us with their head or hooves as they’re stuck with the reins in our hands.’
‘Right. That’s the way to scare me before I even get on.’
‘Well, this is what you signed up for.’
‘True.’
‘Now, if you take the leadrope, I’ll show you how to lead him safely, stop, and reverse. Once you’ve mastered that, we’ll tack him up and get you on top… Of him.’ She swallowed. Her mind had taken a leap in a completely different direction. One she really didn’t want to think about… But it was hard not to, as it always had been with James.