No Christmas Witches #2
I replied, “It’s kind of towing a line, but none of us are shocked.
Everything works out for you.” SGAP disagreed, “No, it’s actually not towing the line.
Were these Caroler’s wolves?” I answered, “Of course. I wasn’t sending in humans to Alpha Ezra’s pack.
No one is that crazy.” SGAP said, “You do with Theo.”
I corrected, “His name is Alpha Theo, and that is because I am confident he won’t do anything to them. Plus, it’s amusing to me that he can't growl at them because they are humans.” SGAP snorted, “You fear for human’s lives if you were to send them to Ezra’s pack?”
I sighed, “Alpha Ezra. I let you get away with it because he upsets you so, but you went one too far.” SGAP growled, “Dylan.” I replied, “In answer to your question, yes.” SGAP snorted, “In reference to his title, the man is barely an Alpha.”
I squealed, “Yes, you get in my Christmas spirit and displace people from their titles. This is the sort of thing I’m talking about.
” I told Finn, “That’s how SGAP emotes. The splitting of his face into that terrifying thing is new.
Normally he just brings the pain, and people call him a psycho; but he’s our psycho. ”
SGAP said, “Rest assured Ezra will be in touch to pay you for his pack’s infraction. Whose pack members were the carolers from? Because I know they weren’t mine.” I asked, “Which pack around here is their ally?” Lucas gasped, “You used RED RUN?”
I answered, “Of course. I thought they had the best chance of success.” SGAP snarled, “That idiot allowed pack members to throw rocks at his ALLIES?!” I grinned, “I am shocked to my core that is your reaction, and that I figured it would come up in this very meeting. A meeting that I stayed over here for on this joyous Christmas day in August.”
Lucas linked, “You’re so heavy on the sarcasm today.” I replied, “It’s those of us with Fairy blood’s bread and butter, Lucas.” SGAP said, “The fine is going to be so heavy Ezra won’t be able to pay it.” I snorted, “And have we figured out where his random influx of cash is coming from?”
SGAP growled, “No.” I cooed, “It’s ok. Don’t go to the growl-y place. Your growlers anonymous has been doing so well for you. Don’t ruin it for pesky Alpha should be bankrupt by now Ezra. He’s just so annoying and he’s trying to ruin Christmas.”
SGAP’s eyes narrowed, “You did this so I could have him fined.” I grinned, “We all play our parts. Did I know he’d throw rocks? No. I did not know his BETA would throw rocks at other wolves. One whose scent he should recognize. Did I know that you’d be mad on my behalf once it happened? Yes.”
I whispered, “Did I think you’d make him pay me for it? No, I was thinking you’d give him a black eye. You’re going about this with rules. Black eyes are better than money, I’m just saying. Physical violence is your usual language for dealing with problems.” SGAP looked at me.
I grinned, “Come on, I’m getting you into your Christmas beating up all cheer. It makes the people happy, and we have to give the people what they want in this season of joy.” SGAP growled, “It’s AUGUST, DYLAN!”
I corrected, “It’s Christmas Day in August. Think of how much pummeling you get to do in this fun return of my Christmas Party season with these new rules. Dylanmas will be so popular. I even sent said rules out to all the packs, Alpha Ezra included. They knew the rules, and they broke them.”
Lucas said, “Everyone does know that Dylan is serious about his rules.” I grinned, “Exactly. I just enforce the rules, SGAP.” SGAP retorted, “That you make up.” I grinned, “I sent a very large delivery of all sugar filled things to his pack too. I was a little surprised it got in, but I bet their whole pack is chaos with extra sugar and coffee filled pups.”
Lucas asked, “You gave all their pups coffee?” I answered, “I did more than that, because Alpha Ezra and his Beta threw rocks at Caroler’s. It’s offensive to Christmas, Lucas. He hurt my favorite holiday’s feelings.”
I smirked saying, “So Alpha Ezra got coffee flavored candy, coffee itself but in juice form, and coffee cake that tastes good. Charms are the best. My Fairy brother was ever so excited to help me with my righteous Christmas mission.”
Beta Caleb choked on his coffee. I added, “And the best part is Alpha Ezra won’t call a single one of us about it.
All because he refuses to call us. We aren’t allies and he won’t even send Red Run an email or smoke signal about it.
So, we just know he’s seething with anger while the pups run amuck.
It’s really the best holiday cheer for us all on this special August Christmas day. ”
Lucas smirked trying not to laugh, while SGAP stared at me. I pointed at him, “I know you want to laugh deep down in your toes.” A snowball hit our office window. Lucas asked, “What in the world?” I explained, “It’s a snowball fight, Lucas. I worry about you sometimes.”
Finn gasped, “Dad, can we please go join?” I winked, “Have your Alpha pop you out and come back after it’s over.” Jayden popped them out. I winked at Lucas, “See? I’m always thinking of you. They will get out some of their energy before they come back. I’m such a giver.”
Fang chuckled, “Everyone is having a lot of fun.” That was the point. Lucas asked, “Is there really eggnog in the gym?” My best friend pause to ask, “What am I saying? Of course there is.” SGAP growled, “DYLAN! YOU GOT EGGNOG IN MY GYM?!”
Lucas clarified, “I meant in our gym, Eric.” SGAP shot him a look. Lucas said, “You knew that already.” SGAP growled at me. I grinned, “Your gym got a triple batch. They need more help with holiday cheer. Don’t give me that look, it’s not my fault you’re a Grinch.”
I whispered, “Plus, your wife set that all up so you can’t be mad.” SGAP demanded, “Stop telling my wife about these fake ass traditions!” I replied, “I hear what you're saying. You want more because your Super Special Fun Sized Fairy Ninja Goddess loves her traditions so.”
SGAP shouted, “CALEB!” I grinned at Beta Caleb who was rubbing his temples. I clucked at my Beta brother, “Come on, Beta Caleb, you know it’s fun. Give into the Christmas cheer.” SGAP asked, “Aren’t you leaving yet?”
I smiled, “You know that I adore when you care about my schedule, but our moment passed. You were the one who never took my bodacious form into consideration. I adore Lacy and she has my utmost loyalty. It’s so kind of you to care though and finally show some interest. It just can’t happen.”
SGAP growled, “I think you want me to punch you in the face.” I whispered, “Shhh, they will begin to write sonnets and songs about your, not so, well-hidden love for me if you keep going with these declarations of adoration.”
SGAP shouted, “For god’s sake, Dylan!” I grinned, “And now it’s a Christmas type of feeling. You really are setting the mood with this kind of talk. I’ll forgive you for the face splitting incident earlier since you’re feeling better now.”
I whispered, “Keep it coming because I have a special plan for a break in the party planning.” I winked at him. SGAP sighed, “Well, apparently I have to get home and help my Male and Female Lead Warriors get border patrols set up with people who aren’t drunk.”
I gasped, “I am cut to the quick you think I did all this without a plan that was carefully crafted and implemented. All will be able to enjoy Christmas in August in phases. My plans have plans, SGAP. I can’t believe you don’t know that by now.”
Beta Caleb said, “I do have a memo about how this will go. You could’ve sent this earlier, Beta Dylan.
” I replied, “My timing is perfect. Had it sent it earlier the no fun, non-believers in Christmas August would’ve tried to stop my fun.
Think of how sad the Fairies I planned this with would’ve been. It might have flooded in your area.”
I whispered, “I planned it with Haley.” Lucas sighed, “You already said that.” I winked, “Don’t you worry, I didn’t leave our Luna or her sister’s out. I know how to ensure my fun will be had by all. Because who is upsetting those women?” Everyone groaned.
Fang chuckled, “I’m getting quite the talking to by a lot of wolves.” I replied, “You be sure to tell them to spread our joy.” Fang agreed, “Definitely.” I said to my friends, “It’s ok, none of you have to answer out loud. We all know the answer is no one.”
I whispered, “We also know SGAP will get anyone in his Alpha Berserker way if they try to make my Super Special Fun Sized Fairy Ninja Goddess unhappy. Just think of how happy she is right now, SGAP. You’re welcome for the cheer I’m spreading while Mommy Queenie Meanie tries to ruin all the joy in your area.
Even though you did say thank you out loud, I heard it in the growly undertones. ”
SGAP growled, “What are you talking about now?” I asked, “Don’t you know?” Beta Caleb’s chair hit the ground when he stood. I commented, “That seemed very dramatic, Beta Caleb.” The man growled, “Did we not discuss you all TALKING to me when shit was going on?” He meant the other Betas.
I asked, “Are we not talking? Am I not giving you heads up? Everyone else remained silent, in case you didn’t notice. I’m here for you, Beta Caleb. I was simply waiting for this meeting.” SGAP growled, “What did my mother do now?”
I replied, “I just don’t know why you let her come home. I hear Antarctica is nice this time of year for the eternally unpleasant.” Fang snickered, “That was a good one.” I knew that. Lucas linked me laughing. Beta Caleb asked, “What’s going on now?”
I said, “It would be apparent that there is a lack of Christmas cheer in going to a conference that just came up so naturally one might think SGAP was involved on the getting Dylan’s Christmas Party back plan.
So, Mommy Queenie Meanie is talking about certain people with Fairy blood and the title Lead Luna spending too much time party planning in your pack. About Dylanmas of all things.”