Chapter 11 #2
“It has been pointed out once or twice,” I replied as I pulled on fresh underwear and a pair of black britches which hung loose around my legs.
I left my chest bare because it was as hot as a volcano’s arsehole in here, and with the storm raging outside we wouldn’t be opening any windows any time soon.
“But not by anyone who could truthfully say I didn’t have reason to be. ”
Cassius turned to look at me and his gaze slid over my face for a moment before he shrugged. “Well, it’s obvious how much your looks mean to you anyway,” he said eventually, unable to deny the obvious appeal of my face though he didn’t seem to think it mattered much. He was wrong there.
“Let me guess,” I said, dropping down onto my bed and laying back with my hands behind my head so that he was forced to turn and look at me. “Your mommy and daddy loved you?”
“Yes,” he replied with a faint frown.
“So they fed you? Clothed you?”
Cassius nodded, frowning slightly as he failed to understand where I was headed with this.
“Educated you?”
“Yes...” He clearly had no idea what I was implying, and I rolled my eyes.
“My mother was a whore and my father was a cutthroat,” I said bluntly.
“Is that so?” he asked, his gaze shifting with something which looked awfully like sympathy, and I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. This wasn’t a pity party; it was a life lesson.
“No. Well, maybe, I guess. I have no idea.” I shrugged.
“I was dumped at an orphanage when I was a few days old and I stayed there until I was six. At which point they deemed me old enough to fend for myself and turfed me out to make room for a new squalling brat. Now, as someone who knows nothing of hunger, you probably don’t realise quite how difficult food is to come by when you are smaller than everyone else on the streets, have no money and have no way to earn any. ”
“So you started stealing?” he guessed, his voice tinged with pity, but I wasn’t hunting for that, he just needed to stop with the superiority bullshit and understand that things were different here.
We were a whole world away from his palaces and white walls, easy meals and a comfortable life, and he needed to figure that out fast.
“No. Well, yes, obviously. But I also discovered the strangest thing. The other street kids would go begging from the kitchen maids at the big manor houses like the one you no doubt grew up in, and most times they’d be chased off or perhaps they’d grab a few scraps from the pig pens if they were lucky.
But one day, I’d had a wash in the river, so I was nice and clean, and I went begging on my own - purely by chance.
This woman opened the door and fell still as her gaze landed on me, I offered her a nervous smile and she went and smiled right back.
She looked me up and down and I’ll never forget the words she spoke because they changed my damn life. ”
“What did she say?” Cassius asked with real intrigue in his eyes.
“She said ‘well aren’t you the sweetest looking little thing?’ and she gave me half a loaf of bread and a huge hunk of cheese without a scrap of mould on it either.
I was so fucking shocked that I just stared at the feast she’d delivered to me so easily and I said thank you, like a proper little noble boy.
It simply fell from my lips because I was skin and bone and I’d been eating nothing but old crusts and kitchen scraps for weeks, and this woman had offered me up a meal like I was actually worth something, like she really fucking saw me.
She smiled even brighter at my manners then she ducked back into the kitchen before returning and giving me a goddamn cake too.
I’d never eaten anything like it, it was sweet and delicate and so fucking delicious, and I can tell you nothing has ever tasted so good since.
I thanked her again with tears in my eyes at the feeling of my belly being full for the first time in as long as I could remember, and then she did the strangest thing; she cupped my cheek and said ‘a beautiful face like yours should never go hungry.’” I arched a brow at Cassius and understanding filled his gaze.
“So your looks helped you to survive?” Cassius asked, cottoning on to what I was saying.
“They didn’t just help me. They’re the reason I survived,” I corrected.
“So maybe I’m a full of myself piece of shit.
But this face opens doors for me. If I lost my place among The Forty, I guarantee I could find a place in a noble household if I was willing to fuck a lonely countess for it.
Looking like me has saved my life more times than I can count.
So if some big bastard punches me in the face, he might as well be cutting off my legs because my face is how I stay alive in this messed up kingdom.
And the day I don’t look like this anymore will likely be the day I die.
Unless Egos kills me now of course. Thanks to you. ”
There was a beat of silence and I frowned at Cassius, hoping he wasn’t about to go all emotional on me.
I wasn’t opening up to him out of any reason other than boredom.
We were stuck here until the storm passed and we could head off after this mystical treasure he claimed to have access to, and I had even more riding on him not being full of shit now than I did before.
“You may have just as much reason to hate Magdor as I do,” Cassius said eventually, his voice laced with hatred for the empress.
“The emperor was just about to fund more orphanages. He had a plan for schools for the underprivileged and food banks for those most in need. I was there when he was discussing ways to counteract poverty in the slums and the outer rings of the city. There were schedules being drawn up for Fae with healing Affinities to come and offer free medical attention, plans for building expansions to take place to create proper housing to combat the overcrowding and shanty towns. He wanted to do so much for the poor of his kingdom, and I was so excited to watch it all come together. But then she came along.”
“What difference would that make to me?” I asked with a frown, unsure what he was getting at.
“Surely you’d want to see the kingdom made better? The emperor had so many great plans before she arrived in Osaria. Wouldn’t you want to witness a day where no other orphans had to live through the poverty you endured?”
I barked a laugh. “Why should I give a shit what some mangy orphans have to endure? Some new orphanage won’t do shit to help me now – I very much doubt they cater for men in their mid-twenties with thieving addictions.”
“Because you just told me that you-”
“That I found a way out of it. Weren’t you listening?” I pointed at my face and gave him a wide smile to show off my dimples.
“I know that worked for you but there are countless orphans who aren’t so lucky, and wouldn’t you want them to have more of a chance than you did?” he asked, seeming angered by my indifference.
“Why?” I asked incredulously.
Cassius stared at me like I’d just spoken a foreign language, but he was the one who wasn’t fucking getting it.
“Rule number one now you live on the streets,” I said, pointing at him. “Look out for yourself and no one else. Friends are all well and good, but they’ll get you dead if you put yourself at risk for them.”
“I’m not talking about friends, I’m talking about bettering the lives of our people.
You can’t seriously not care?” Cassius growled and I could tell he was kinda horrified by what I was saying, but he was right, I didn’t care.
He didn’t come from here. He hadn’t grown up on these streets and figured this shit out the hard way.
He hadn’t begged for scraps only to have some bigger, meaner kid beat the shit out of him to steal those scraps for themselves.
He’d never slept in a doorway or had to run from the twisted motherfuckers who lived down by the river’s edge when they tried to catch him for their fucked-up games.
He’d certainly never endured the agony that I had when I’d been taken by that oh so holy priest. When he’d forced his vile magic into my flesh with needle and ink, marking my body like it was a canvas he had free access to despite my screams for mercy.
When you were made to endure the worst Fae kind had to offer, it made it damn hard to try and look for the best in people, especially when survival was the sole focus of your existence every day.
So he could give me his judgmental looks and he could think of me as a monster, but that was just because he was a privileged bastard who had lived a charmed life, so he couldn’t possibly understand the agony of mine.
He had no idea what life was going to be like for him now that he was down here in the dirt with the rest of us, and the sooner he faced up to it, the better.
But it wasn’t my problem. He’d figure it out for himself soon enough.
“Do me a favour, mate,” I said as I shuffled down the bed and closed my eyes.
“Sell me this holier than thou shit in a month when you’ve actually lived in the world you think you can change.
I guarantee you’ll be a selfish bastard just like me by then.
Or dead. Either way, I doubt you’ll still be spouting idealist bullshit at me about the poor orphans down the street, because you’ll be too caught up in trying to keep your own arse alive to give a single fuck about them. ”
Cassius remained quiet as I settled myself in to sleep. I guessed he’d just figured out that I wasn’t as nice as I seemed, but that was fine by me. He didn’t have to like me. He just had to make me rich.