Chapter 25 #3
The sun had risen by the time I was done, and when I finally collapsed where I lay, panting and trembling from the effort of what I’d done, a few errant tears slid from the corners of my eyes.
“I did it,” I breathed to no one but the wind, certain that my body had returned to its original form.
Whatever that looked like. I didn’t remember or even care to in that moment.
All I knew was that I had managed to force the colour from my limbs and hair, and that meant my master would allow me to remain outside of the coin.
A sob rattled my chest and my fingers twisted into the grass beside me as I breathed in the cooler morning air and stared up at the blue sky above me, welcoming each and every sight, sound, taste, scent, feeling and sensation which surrounded me in this beautiful, endless world.
I’d been alone and forgotten for so long that I’d given up all hope of ever leaving my prison again and yet here I was, soaking in the feeling of the sun warming my skin and breathing fresh air for the first time in an eternity that I couldn’t even count the passage of time.
I gave myself a little longer with the tears of relief tracking down my cheeks before pushing myself upright and brushing them aside.
My fingers skimmed over my dress, shifting the colour to a simple white, the fabric held over one shoulder before encircling my chest and wrapping to one side, leaving an expanse of my midriff on show then curving around my hips and dropping down to brush my feet.
The lower portion of the dress was thinner, the translucent fabric showing my legs through it as I walked and the breeze lifting the thin material so that the heat of the sun was less of a burden.
I felt…odd. I was myself again after oh so long and yet I still held no real memories of who that girl was supposed to be.
It was unsettling and despite knowing that it didn’t really matter anyway, I couldn’t help the knot of tension which formed in my gut as I turned in the direction of the camp we’d made last night.
The sound of voices drew me back to the fire where Cassius had clearly woken at last, and Master had emerged from the tent I’d conjured for him to sleep in.
Cassius didn’t look in good shape, occasionally clutching his side where he’d cut himself on a rock last night, and darkness ringed his eyes.
He rubbed the top of his head which had collided with the tree and I remembered how he’d gone crashing into it with a bang.
Master had said to let him rest, but it didn’t look like he’d gotten much of that even though he hadn’t been awake for many, many hours.
They were discussing the best way for them to approach the palace and I crept closer a little nervously, plucking at the fabric of the white dress I had created for myself.
The breeze tickled the skin of my stomach which I’d left bare, and I suddenly wondered if I should have covered myself up more.
I didn’t know what they were going to think of the girl I had been before I became the thing I was now and though I shouldn’t have cared, I did.
It mattered. And I wasn’t even sure why.
I slipped between the trees at the edge of the fire, looking at their profiles where they sat deep in discussion, their gazes on the fire which burned endlessly before them, still powered by the bottomless abyss of my magic.
I waited several seconds, uncertain if I should interrupt or not then finally cleared my throat as they failed to notice me and I found I could no longer take the suspense.
Cassius leapt to his feet, drawing his sword as he pointed it at me, his brow lowering and his body tensing with the intention to use that weapon.
“What do you want?” he demanded, his gaze running over me like he was assessing whether or not I was a threat, and I blinked at him a few times as I tried to understand what was happening.
“Calm down, mate,” Master said quickly. “Let the girl explain what she’s doing here. Maybe she needs warming up.” He gave me the kind of smile that made heat race to my cheeks and my heart do some kind of awkward somersault, and I bit my lip as I realised neither of them recognised me.
“It’s me,” I breathed. “I pulled the magic out of my skin overnight. It actually took a really long time and hurt like hell, but I think I got all of it in the end so here I am...” I shrugged, not really sure what else needed to be said.
“Holy shit.” Master’s gaze swept over me slowly, making me feel more exposed than I had even when I’d appeared naked before him the first time he’d summoned me, drinking in every piece of me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
My blush deepened at the intensity of his gaze on my features and I forced my eyes to Cassius instead, taking in the way he was looking at me and offering a nervous smile.
He slowly lowered his sword, taking in the changes in me with a faint frown. “When you said you were Fae before you ended up bound to that coin, how long ago were you talking about?”
“I lost count,” I admitted, shrugging one shoulder as if the endless expanse of time I’d spent trapped in that hell was nothing at all, even though it was every fear I’d ever known embodied.
“Was it before or after the Fae fell from the grace of the gods?” he pushed and my master arched a brow at that suggestion.
“The fair folk,” he muttered as he got to his feet too, his eyes roaming over me in a way that made me feel like he was truly seeing me.
Not the magic or the power or the possibilities I presented him with.
He was just looking at me. And the way his dark eyes were devouring me made me think he liked what he saw.
“I’m not sure,” I said after a long pause where I tried to recall my life before I was this. But it was lost to me almost entirely. I could only remember the pain I’d felt over my sister’s death and how the emperor’s blood had felt as it coated my hands.
The way they were both staring was making me feel incredibly self-conscious, and I suddenly had the urge to know what the fuss was all about as I waited for them to stop.
“Your eyes are still the same,” Master said eventually. “Still that endless shade of gold. But the rest of you is...”
He can’t take his eyes off of you.
“I’m okay then?” I asked, ignoring myself. “I don’t have to go back in the coin?”
“Yeah, you’re okay, magic girl,” Cassius said as he started kicking dirt over the last embers of the fire, wincing as he did so and clutching his side again. He looked kind of pale and I could tell he was trying to hide the pain he was in as he straightened his spine and continued his work.
“Okay doesn’t cut it,” Master muttered, his eyes still drinking me in before he swiped a hand down his face and turned away sharply. “Let’s get moving then – I have a princess to marry after all.”
A smile pulled at my lips as I realised I’d done enough to maintain my freedom and curiosity bit into me as I wondered what they’d seen as they looked at me, suddenly wanting to see me for myself.
The two of them began to load up the camels with the various things I’d created last night and I raised a hand before me to cast a tall, gilded mirror into existence right there on the grass.
I gasped as I found myself staring at my reflection, the distant echoes of recognition sounding deep within me despite how foreign my face looked to me as I stared at it.
I was a petite girl, with a fountain of ebony hair which tumbled down my spine in soft curls to caress the rounded curve of my rear. My skin was a sun kissed hue of brown which made the golden tones of my eyes almost seem to burn like sunlight beneath my thick, dark lashes.
I reached out a finger to paint the lines of my face, soaking in the sight of the girl who looked back at me.
My lips were full and a dusky cherry colour which almost looked painted on, and my high cheekbones made the symmetry of my features seem somehow unreal, like I was looking at a painting of someone I once knew, not staring upon a true reflection of myself.
The longer I stared, the more I felt like I remembered this piece of myself, the smallest taste of the girl I’d been born as echoing in my heart until the beat of it seemed familiar too.
There was a brightness to my golden eyes and a stubborn set to my jaw which suggested I’d once held my own desires and wants, known my own mind and been unafraid to voice it.
So much was lost to me, but in regaining this I felt like I was regaining something more, something I hadn’t ever expected to find again. This was me. The house which held the fractured pieces of my soul, and I couldn’t help but like what I saw.
I’d done it. I looked Fae again even if I felt anything but deep down inside. And no matter what else happened now, at least I knew I wouldn’t have to see the inside of that coin any time soon.
I watched as another relieved tear slipped down my cheek and I couldn’t help but smile at my reflection as I pressed my hand to the glass and reclaimed ownership of the girl who was staring back at me from within it.
“Hi,” I breathed, watching my own mouth form that word in reply. “Welcome back.”